Viewing 35 posts - 1 through 35 (of 35 total)
  • I was assaulted by a granny this morning!
  • gravitysucks
    Free Member

    People do baffle me sometimes.

    So I walk out my local coop to be faced with carnage as some vigilante went off on one.
    It turns out that a young girl had left her two year old in the car whilst running in to get a prescription.
    A woman with her own children in their twenties took offence at this act and decided the best way to advice the Mother of her mistake was to assault her and then take her phone and car keys off her!

    As I walked into the carpark its all kicking off; the Mother’s in tears, people are just stood about watching and the child is obviously upset by the situation.

    I recognise the young girl as another parent from my kids school. So I go over check she’s ok, check the little one then try to talk the manic woman. I explain its chuffing freezing and if she’s really concerned about the child maybe she should give her Mother the keys back so she can put the car heating on.
    She then grabs the phone from a shop worker who’s on to the police. Shouts down the phone “Tell this **** to back off” and proceeds to smack me round the face with the phone 😆

    I hang about for the police to turn up so it doesn’t get ugly again and by this time the granny’s husband has turned up (I say granny, they were both in the late 40’s early 50’s), he’s on two crutches but is still determined to come and tell me he’s going to do me!

    Some people do make me laugh, apparantly though all this was ok as the mother had left the child in the car!

    Some people do have funny idea’s about things
    EDIT: hit post before i’d finished typing 🙂

    ronjeremy
    Free Member

    photos!!!!

    oh and sorry but i’m wetting myself here

    Hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!!

    cynic-al
    Free Member

    YEAH KEEP YOUR FAT MIDDLE CLASS NOSE OUT OF IT!

    Is there a t-shirt for this?

    Coyote
    Free Member

    Witnesses?

    If the police are involved, which they probably are, straight facts and leave it to them. Sounds like you walked in on a pretty explosive situation there.

    enfht
    Free Member

    At which point you punched her “in self defence”, yes?

    yunki
    Free Member

    bah.. not enough pure malice in that.. emotions were running high..

    I was browsing in a department store for an outfit for my niece for xmas when I felt a very sharp kick in my ankle.. looking down I saw a scowling old biddie of about 80 years old..
    expecting an apology or at least an ‘excuse me dear’ I was quite surprised to then receive a sharp elbow in the ribs as the frail old witch barged past me to get to the dress on the rail..

    awesome work.. I hope I’m that belligerent when I’m old 😀

    TheSouthernYeti
    Free Member

    The only way I could’ve improved your post would be to add the word ‘sexually’.

    joao3v16
    Free Member

    This would never have happened if Granny had received massages at Primary school …

    TheFlyingOx
    Full Member

    Is there a t-shirt for this?

    Hehe. On it’s way.

    project
    Free Member

    Ws she perhaps parked in the disabled bay,or was she driving a prius, both usaul inflame a lot of drivers.

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    TSY – If that was the case i’d still be cowering in a corner somewhere crying.

    Three lots of CCTV about and plenty of witnesses so it should sort it self out.
    I’m glad I stepped in and stopped the mother taking any more grief. Even if you could ring a pizza from my face after it 🙂

    Did make me laugh, the police where checking the street CCTV so took there time coming. They were obviously watching the live feed though as when gramps started on me with his crutches they could probably see my patience running out…. waited 30 mins for the police then 2 cars turned up with the ol blues and twos within seconds

    noteeth
    Free Member

    I hope I’m that belligerent when I’m old

    Old people can be surprisingly violent.

    The worst injury (thus far) I’ve ever received whilst working in a hospital was a perfect right hook to the face… from an 83 year old ex-champion bantamweight boxer (albeit suffering from severe dementia).

    Drac
    Full Member

    [video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtymNiYlSD4[/video]

    ronjeremy
    Free Member

    noteeth – Member
    I hope I’m that belligerent when I’m old
    Old people can be surprisingly violent.

    The worst injury (thus far) I’ve ever received whilst working in a hospital was a perfect right hook to the face… from an 83 year old ex-champion bantamweight boxer (albeit suffering from severe dementia

    does this explain the choice of forum name?

    noteeth
    Free Member

    does this explain the choice of forum name?

    Nope, that was due to the idiotic sport that is mountain biking. 8)

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    The irony being of course that “back in the good ol days” she probably happily left her children outside in a pram while she went into the shops – was certainly very common in my mum’s day.

    Junkyard
    Free Member

    ayes it was Graham good point.

    Its an awful dilemma when you have a sleeping child and you need to just nip into a shop ..I have seen people take a sleeping child out the car to just go and pay for petrol

    A supermarket would be too big for me but I have nipped into corner shops
    Worst I did was rush out the shop and open the wrong car door ..scared the hell out of my and the driver was a bit surprised ..same colour car and style and me just rushing. .kids thought it was hilarious and still mention it now

    piedidiformaggio
    Free Member

    This sounds like an episode of The Inbetweeners!

    scuttler
    Full Member

    Jeez. Think of the drama when you fill your car up with fuel. The little dears sit in the car all on their own whilst you handle hazardous substances, then you go and queue for five minutes behind the muppet who’s neglected to bring payment and all the time they’re on their own at the mercy of the peedos and the explosive chemicals.

    Woooooon’t somebody think of the childrennnnnnnn!

    FunkyDunc
    Free Member

    Don’t worry, my elderly next door neighbour once put a brick through my window because I was using a drill for a short time in the day time.

    She also took offence to the Lesbian couple on the other side of her and often damaged their car and shouted insults at them.

    Both of us reported her to the Police.

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    FunkyDunc, wasn’t that mad old welsh bat who got an asbo was it??

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    Yeh it is bonkers that the media has battered it into her that leaving alone for 30 secs should be punishable by death. It was only a local coop as well so she was less than 50m away for no more than a few minutes.

    To be fair I don’t think she’ll be leaving the kids in the car again anytime soon 😈

    GrahamS
    Full Member

    I have seen people take a sleeping child out the car to just go and pay for petrol

    Mental.

    Leave child calmly asleep for 2 minutes in a big locked metal box surrounded by CCTV; or wake child and take them out, exposing them to petrol/exhaust fumes and the chance of being hit by a car.

    verses
    Full Member

    Last time I filled up the car I thought that rather than leaving her in the car by herself I’d let my 5yo daughter see all the excitement that goes on.
    We were stood next to the car and I was waiting for the pump to be activated when a voice came over the tannoy telling me to put her back in the car and that it’s against policy to allow children near the pumps.

    Not sure what they expected her to do…

    She’d even put her fag out…

    midlifecrashes
    Full Member

    Next time take her pillion on your motorbike and see what they do then.

    toby1
    Full Member

    I’m guessing the under fire Mum was hot – otherwise you’d have just carried on and gone to work right? 😉

    phil.w
    Free Member

    We were stood next to the car and I was waiting for the pump to be activated when a voice came over the tannoy telling me to put her back in the car and that it’s against policy to allow children near the pumps.

    Please tell me you got her to get back into the drivers seat. 🙂

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    I’m guessing the under fire Mum was hot

    Funny that, she is pretty hot 🙂 Well normally anyway, all women loook a mess when their in tears 😉

    I’m not one for just watching people getting hurt if I can do something about.

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    Lol just got home to find a thank you card and present. My daughter came bounding out of school with a bag with Evie’s Dad on it and a load of kisses. Queue much gossiping from parents about my secret admirer!!!

    Drac
    Full Member

    Just think of all the swooning when the other mothers find out what you did.

    SurroundedByZulus
    Free Member

    I had a wizened old cow in the queue at uni, who had her head up her arse fiiling her pathetic plastic finger nails, rather violently and aggresively try to say that i’d been pushing in. She didnt take kindly to being told that she was wrong then ignored.

    monkeychild
    Free Member

    Old people are mental!! I was queuing to pay in a shop (quite obviously in the queue) when some old guy and his Mrs in a wheelchair rocked up. Instantly I thought here we go, sure thing he went oh I’m next aren’t I young man (I’m 34 FFS) I just said yes as I could not be bothered with the no doubt inevitable fallout. This story doesn’t really add anything, I just thought I’d share 😀

    IanMunro
    Free Member

    Was the OP on that coppers program last night? 🙂

    alpin
    Free Member

    monkeychild – Member

    Old people are mental!! I was queuing to pay in a shop (quite obviously in the queue) when some old guy and his Mrs in a wheelchair rocked up. Instantly I thought here we go, sure thing he went oh I’m next aren’t I young man (I’m 34 FFS) I just said yes as I could not be bothered with the no doubt inevitable fallout. This story doesn’t really add anything, I just thought I’d share

    you are weak!

    although at least they had the decency to ask. here in germany the older generation will simply push past you without muttering a word and expecting you to accept it.

    but was the “granny” in the OP about 40-50? does that qualify for old biddy status? my mum is 63 and she’s not “old”.

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    Granny as in had grandchild. Although to be fair that could stretch to a 28 year old in some parts!

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