I was having a great time today shredding (dude) the DH trails at Innerleithen when suddenly my front wheel slid on a root, bike went horizontal and hit a tree just as the bar end touched the ground. Bike stopped dead, unfortunately I stopped dead a split second later as well, using a gonad to saddle interface. I was too busy trying to avoid headbutting the tree to think what other parts might have been vunerable.
I don’t know what the small forest animals made of my couple of minutes of inchoherent bellowing.

saddle1 by banshee bhoy, on Flickr

The missing saddle rail managed to do this as it detached itself from the rest of the bike, about two inches higher I’d have been singing castrato….

scar by banshee bhoy, on Flickr

It was a great day’s riding prior to this, trails were in excellent nick considering the recent weather.

mate that sounds and looks nasty!!! I did a really similar thing going off a series of three drops on a trail in NZ. I bent the rail over by 180 degrees! I was weeing blood for about three days and had a big ol black sack!

The thread title led me to believe there would be photos of private parts.

I want my money back 😀

You haven’t paid any money in the first place, so how can you demand any back?

You mean you have paid to see male genitals? 😯

Sweet Mother of Jesus….

trust me, no one wants to see pictures of my private parts. Although when they swell to twice their normal size in the next couple of days I may be so proud that I can’t resist posting them up. They will probably be black though, so no one will beleive they’re mine!

There’s going to be some amount of bruising, without a doubt.

Is that deep enough to need a couple of stitches in it?

My lass thought it needed stitches but she’s a soft southerner (Yorkshire), i’ve just I’ve tacked it together with steristrips, seems to be holding so far.

More importantly I need a new saddle, an excuse to buy some bling, yippee! My old saddle top can be viewed lying somewhere on the gold run upper, the bark is off the tree where my headtube hit it as well.

Wondered what all that noise was 🙂

Sorry to hear about your crash BUT you should have taken your broken stuff home with you rather than leave it there. Yet more ammo for the anti bike brigade, they love pulling the old ” they leave rubbish everywhere” argument. Pain or no pain, take it home with you

what saddle was it ?

I’m actually not sure, the saddle had no distinguishing marks on it, I got it on a bike I bought from a mate, I put it on my DH bike as it was the most uncomfortable hard piece of crap I’ve ever sat on. It was a quite lightweight XC number so not indestructible, always seemed quite high quality mind.

Were they dual-ply gonads?

Ouch!!!!!

Really though you’re not going to get a whole lot of sympathy on here: unless we see the affected items.

In the meantime I’m off to search for pics of my Spec Romin vs my bits. It didnt end well!!!

That’s a great hole but I’m struggling to work out which part of your genitals that is. Mine are a lot wrinklier than that.

bugger , no stiches either , kin ell thats gonna leave a wicked scar um dude.

They were UST gonads, tubeless (well I’ve had the snip) and they’re full of a latex like substance.

My gash is on my upper right thigh, it’s about half the width now i’ve pulled it together with steristrips and plasters. I found out today that it was the front point part of my pelvis that took the brunt of the saddle impact, it’s hurting like hell and is bruising nicely, my gonads were just incidental damage.

LOL at the “UST gonads” – there’s a t-shirt to be had from that somehow (and I’d be in the club too!).