Holding cutlery question.

At a recent holiday with my wife’s family I noticed during a meal they all hold their knife as if holding a pencil with the handle sticking out above the thumb and forefinger. I tend to clutch my knife completely within my fist.

I have not been out for a meal for a while and paid any attention to most peoples eating habits.

I was wondering how most people hold a knife. Am I a freak or is grasping your knife in your palm the norm?

they all hold their knife as if holding a pencil

HKLPs. They’re doing it wrong.

they all hold their knife as if holding a pencil

It’s folk who think that’s how posh/sophisticated folk do it. It isn’t, its wrong.

It’s folk who think that’s how posh/sophisticated folk do it. It isn’t, its wrong.

No, it’s correct; posh people just have staff on hand to cut meat and other large veg into bite-sized chunks, so they only have to use the knife to hold the food in place in order to stick the fork into it.

They are quite posh, and I know nobody holds a knife that way to carve a joint of meat, but it’s all change as soon as it hits the plate. I know this is a first world question, but I am genuinely confused. Every Christmas at the table I feel like I am doing something wrong.

Handle of knife nestled in palm. Index finger along top of knife blade. Anything else is plain wrong.

Wrong. Acceptant for children and Americans only.

This:

Table Rules

As long as the fork is in the right hand and the knife in the left, happy days! Palm is correct mind.

According to elegantwoman.org, you should hold a knife like this and never put it into your mouth, no matter what.

I don’t mind how people hold their knives so long as they use them. They’re for cutting and scooping peas up onto forks. There is a place in hell for those who use the knife as an implement to pin the food to the plate while they tear the food apart with the fork.

Never ever hold your knife as you would a pen. To do so, is so working class 😉

I hold mine in a loose fist type grip. Knife in right hand, fork in left. That image above just looks daft. I’d like to see someone cut anything cooked by me with that limp grip. Your in-laws sound weird to me. Don’t trust them!

Table rules – whoever spent time writing those needs to get a real job. Foods for eating not faffing.

Handle in a loose fist with foremost part of the handle held between thumb and middle finger with index finger on top of first part of blade. A bit like the photo above but a bit further forward along the knife and held a bit tighter.

Table rules were originally so you didn’t do things like elbow the person next to you or spill food on your clothes. Hold your knife as the OP states and your elbow sticks out, hold it as above and your elbow is close to your side. Of course like a lot of sensible guidelines some people take them to excess.

So that’s why. I’m ashamed to say that I judge people who hold their cutlery at 90 degrees to everyone else and jab their elbows into their neighbours as they saw away. Same people probably eat crisps on trains and in the cinema.

As mentioned, HKLP is a cardinal sin. Punishable by death in all the right households.

That image above just looks daft. I’d like to see someone cut anything cooked by me with that limp grip.

No, that’s how the pros hold it when they have to deal with something tough.

elegantwowan.org

Please at least get your reference material correct, being right by accident is no better than being wrong.

Debretts is the only place to pay any attention to.

(as linked by ambrose)

Please at least get your reference material correct, being right by accident is no better than being wrong.

Debretts is the only place to pay any attention to.

So there is a version of The Rules for posh folk? No wonder I view them as being on a par with roadies wearing full Rapha.

No, that’s how the pros hold it when they have to deal with something tough.

Just don’t hold it like a hammer.

I use my left hand for knife and right for fork.

People stare at me like I’m a serial killer

Same rules for eating as MTB – don’t be a dick. If you follow the Debrett’s rules to the letter (and worry about conforming) mealtimes become miserable rather than the enjoyable social event they should be. Having lived in France for a while, where enjoying the food and being social is what matters, most normal people don’t care about rules like whether elbows are on the table or not (a no-no in Debrett’s).

People stare at me like I’m a serial killer

And rightly so 😉

Americans hold Cutlery like Toddlers and shovel it in like a Boiler Stoker.

No only people thinking they’re being posh hold a knife like a pen. Similarly only people thinking they’re being posh call a loo a toilet.

What would ‘etiquette expert’ for daytime telly William Hanson do?

mealtimes become miserable rather than the enjoyable social event they should be.

It’s not the rules that causes that. It’s family.

My wife holds her fork in her right hand. There, I’ve finally said it, phew, the family embarrassment shared and my load lightened 🙂

Ehhhh?

Surely unless your knives are completely blunt or you cant cook for love nor money, why would you hold your knife like a pruning saw?

* wanders off to cook some dinner and hold knife like a pen *

They are quite posh

Nope, they think they are – which is far worse.

Apart from HKLP, other symptoms include;
– SUV – double points for in white
– Holiday in Dubai/Abu Dhabi / etc.
– Sky
– Daily Mail
– Hot tub

I regularly get chastised at home for not putting my knife and fork together on the plate to show everyone I’ve finished my meal. You can tell I’ve finished because there’s no food left on the table. And I’ve probably belched my gratitude for the meal.

HKLPs are used to sitting at tables with sod all elbow room and don’t want to have their elbow jogged. This may be because they eat in modern restaurants which cram the tables in, or it may be because they live in small houses, or have large families. Either way it is wrong, of course. Merkans just use the knife to cut the food up then put it down and pick up the fork in their dominant hand to shovel the stuff in.

At a recent holiday with my wife’s family

Do you have kids? If not then keep it this way, you have a chance to cleanse your family of this perversion. If you do have kids then God help us all, the curse continues through the generations.