The gym I use has a very large free weight area and the majority of users are working or not working class. A commonly heard phrase would be ‘alright mate/pal/bruv/geez/boss, how many sets you got left on that bench?’ Somehow I feel ‘sir’ would not be appropriate.

emsz – you fool! Edit your post quick. Do you remember nothing from school?!

Don’t ever mention what you hate being called! That’s how people get nick-names for life. You’d know this if you were ever in the pub to see Horas face as everyone refers to him as Mr Poo-Poo Ploppy Pants

I hate being called ‘babe’, or ‘sweetheart’ by blokes, but i don’t mind ‘love’ from old dears on the checkout though. there’s a bloke on the train station that calls everyone “me duck” which is ok. Hate being complimented by strangers as well, very creepy

I think it is quite indicative of the times that the little lady feels she can share her opinions on an open forum, good on you emsz. 😉

Hate being complimented by strangers

Good point, well made.

And your hair looks lovely today too, love.

Here in Wales I’ve heard “Love”, “Spa”, “Claert(?)” and not least “Butt”, which as an American I found rather confounding 🙂

It does seem as though the “problem” lies with the recipient – taking things out of context. Emsz – why do you hate being complimented by strangers? Are you that lacking in confidence that you find it threatening (I don’t know, you seem pretty confident so I guess not) or are you reading something into it that doesn’t exist? That’s a side-track anyway. The point is these are commonly used terms by 90%* of the population with no ill feeling or ulterior motive, in fact the very fact that they use it suggests they’re happy in your presence and relaxed, if you were an arse or overbearing they’d probably think more carefully about their wording.

*made up on the spot, but generally most people seem to use them.

Mate / bud / etc.

I’m guilty of this, not least because I’m terrible at remembering names. In seriousness though, I can’t immediately think of a better term of address.

“Sir / Madam” is perhaps correct in formal situations, but would sound plain weird delivered with an East Lancashire accent. “Ey up sir, asti gorrany pasties left?”

On leaving Greggs having acquired baked goods, does one say “cheers mate, tara” or “thanking you kindly good sir, this transaction was completed in a satisfactory manner; please accept my sincerest wishes that you have a felicitous afternoon”? That might be de rigeur in Knightsbridge, but in Burnley it’s more likely to get you bottled.

babe, hen, love, mate, fella, me duck, guvnor, sweetheart, darling etc are used by a cabbie/bus driver/person behind a counter in a shop/whomever,

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

If there was not this division between the terms then it would be more acceptable IMHO

Not something i get very worked up about though or terms I use tbh

Babe, love , my lover [ Devon one for you all]

Here in Wales I’ve heard “Love”, “Spa”, “Claert(?)” and not least “Butt”, which as an American I found rather confounding

Even better is when an American hears a Welshman say, “Can I bum a fag off you, butt?”

Even better is when an American hears a Welshman say, “Can I bum a fag off you, butt?”

I’m gay so that would be so meta my brain would explode 🙂

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

If there was not this division between the terms then it would be more acceptable IMHO

While I see your point, use of the terms is not limited to males toward females though is it. Day in day out I hear young women calling men and each other babe, love, mate – this isn’t limited to a bunch of guys rubbing their thighs and saying “come sit with me love”.

On leaving Greggs having acquired baked goods…in Burnley it’s more likely to get you bottled.

That one’s easy to solve. Don’t go to Greggs, just go to your local artisanal panetteria, and move from Burnley to somewhere nice, like Hoveactually.

It does seem as though the “problem” lies with the recipient – taking things out of context. Emsz – why do you hate being complimented by strangers?

I’m guessing here but maybe because she doesn’t like being judged on her looks (as women often are)?

The problem is with the recipient argument, hmmm…. so if someone yelled racist abuse in the street, the problem is with the recipient? (and no I’m not equating saying ‘love’ with racist abuse, for the hard of thinking).

😆 @ randomjeremy! 😆

Binners, nick name at school was either ‘dinkie-tits’ or ‘runt’, or ‘lezza bitch’. (must have spent all night on that one!!) 🙄

coffeeking, hmmm online confidence and RL aren’t the same thing, I rather that the ground swallowed me whole than talk to some random!! it’s just weird someone feeling that it’s ok to pass comment. I’d never do it to some-one else….

piss off don 😆

like Hoveactually

There’s a Greggs on George Street now 🙁

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

Except that a woman serving a man in a shop could also use duck, love etc. The only one in the list that is woman-specific is “hen”, which doesn’t seem that much worse than “mate” tbh.

Isn’t “Shug” short for Sugar?

Don’t the Scots call someone Shug if their real name is Hugh?

Seems bizarre to me like they forgot how the letters go together

Been called bruv a few times recently by adolescent shop staff. I find it a bit weird but I’d rather they keep some sense of personality than be forced to adhere to corporate guidelines on how to talk to people.

Like Suge Knight (fat gangster/record label boss) is apparently pronounced Shug?

piss off don

😆

I rather that the ground swallowed me whole than talk to some random!!

If your job involves talking to people all day, you tend to use more terms like these as a matter of course. It’s important not to be desperate to be offended.

see the thing is the male ones are fairly neutral mate, guvnor etc but the female ones have some sort of vaguely sexual or overfriendly connotation- ie terms used between people in a relationship

Regional thing maybe, but I’ve been called love, sweetheart, darling, honey and even babe.

I don’t use ‘love’. My dad does and it makes me wince a bit.

However, it has never occurred to me that calling someone ‘mate’ could in anyway cause offense.

jota180

Don’t the Scots call someone Shug if their real name is Hugh?

Yup- and Senga for Agnes

Not sure that anyone is offended by mate, just sometimes it seems like false over-familiarity whilst not actually being that friendly. Not always though.

Yup- and Senga for Agnes

that’s definitely just mixing the letters up

What do you think mate?

not mixed up – just reversed squire

Oh – and George is Dods, Gogs or Doddie

not mixed up – just reversed squire

I was referring to the Shug one as well pal

With muppetWrangler on this one – let people retain some sort of individuality. It’s much more interesting than ‘Sir’ … ‘Have a nice day’. When did I get knighted and why should I adhere to your instructions?

I can’t see why this is indicative of class – only poor people use the bus anyway. Anyone who uses public transport has failed – Thatcher said so.

I think Ikea had to drop their Tnuc range of shelving for the Scottish market?

.
What about chief, boss, chief. Anyone offended by that?

In this area of the North Wales coast lads call each other “Bud” and the girls call everyone “Hon”. When I moved back here from That London a few years ago I couldn’t get my head around it, it’s like they’ve all been taken over by extras from The Dukes of hazzard or Thelma and Louise.

Just checked with the Missus (working class council social worker) and they have no guidelines outlining what is or isn’t appropriate, other than the usual respectful, non-racist, non-sexist stuff.

exactly Druidh – which precludes the use of “babe” ” love” etc.

I’m guessing here but maybe because she doesn’t like being judged on her looks (as women often are)?

We’re all judged on our looks, it’s inherent in human nature and not necessarily a bad thing (or a good thing), however if “judged” and someone still responds positively, what’s the problem? If they said “Alright ugly” I could see the offence caused, I don’t see how people find “alright babe” offensive unless they’re completely screwed up and take it as a sarcastic greeting.

The problem is with the recipient argument, hmmm…. so if someone yelled racist abuse in the street, the problem is with the recipient? (and no I’m not equating saying ‘love’ with racist abuse, for the hard of thinking).

I see where you’re coming from, but again, that’s in the context and tone of delivery. Everyone (OK not everyone it seems, but I’d have thought it common in human capability!) can judge if someone is being offensive on purpose or patronising, or belittling, or outright abusive. When I walk down the street and hear someone yell “alright N******” to a friend I don’t automatically swing around and assume someone is being racist and offensive towards someone else, I can see it’s a pleasant greeting between two folk, as can the recipient. Some words are outright offensive, these are called insults and as such context doesn’t really help except in the case of very familiar friends who can use horrific insults as a term of endearment. And that kinda makes my point I think. It’s all in how you read it and how it’s intended, not what’s delivered.

.

exactly Druidh – which precludes the use of “babe” ” love” etc.

Eh? How does “babe” or “love” qualify as disrespectful, racist or sexist?

Oim considerably more working class than yow!

kicked off a bit since I last looked in.

non-sexist stuff.

so if babe is not sexist* just wondering what is.

*I’d have thought possibly borderline depending on who, where and how it’s used

exactly Druidh – which precludes the use of “babe” ” love” etc.

Neither are sexist. Neither discriminate against anyone.