Used for the first time today, and now I have an arse like a Wigan rosette. Do they mix sand or ground up glass into it? Thankfully I’ve found a tub of Sudocrem and a spatula.

😆

“Wigan Rosette”

😆

MTFU soft lad

I’m trying to, but I can’t yet

Or use your head, rather than your heart when next choosing your butt plugs 😉

You’re so rational slackalice, although I assume with a name like that you don’t need to be so discerning? 🙂

What brand and how much did you use?

Did you not clean your hairy cleavage first? 😯 😀

😆

Sure it wasn’t embro?

You’re not supposed to eat it.

I think the best advice can only be…. It’s for yer gooch and sack. Score a bullseye with minty arse lard and your rusty bullethole will look like the Japanese flag.

Good god you didn’t get the minty arse lard in your poop chute did you?
Was it the purple Euro minty fresh one that looks more like sex lube. Apparently.
It definitely isn’t.

I only use it around the edges of the pad – certainly nowhere near any bodily entries/exits :-0

I think the clue on mine is in the title. It’s called Udderly Smooth, not Marmite Canyony Smooth.

How on earth do you sit on your saddle for chafing there to be an issue?

My buttocks are now so hard that I’m not sure I need cream, feels nice though.

Couldn’t get on for a few hours there, but to answer some queries….

It’s Chapeau Original and it directs me to ‘apply directly to the skin in the area of the groin and buttocks in a light massaging motion’.

So I took a splurge about the size of a ping pong ball and roughly massage it around my big hairy arse, plinth and leathery castanets. I don’t think I applied it in the crack per se, but certainly plenty of rain ran down there so perhaps that carried a hoopophobic ingredient with it?

I did clean my arse first, having had a good clear out immediately before my ride, with a wet bum wipe and everything for a sparkly finish.

My arse is too big for my balloon knot to actually be in contact with the saddle, so I don’t think it was that.

I did eat quite a few home made fajitas last night…perhaps it’s not the chamois cream after all on reflection.

😆 The stuff you can read on here! 😆

‘wigan rosette’ and ‘balloon knot’ are now faves!

So I took a splurge about the size of a ping pong ball

Christ… I’ve had a tub for years that’s had less out than that.

I’d wager I have a bigger backside than you, but still, point taken!

this thread does not need pics!