Brother-in-law's stag do – I don't really want to go

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  • Brother-in-law's stag do – I don't really want to go
  • dooosuk
    Member

    Go…get to know him and his mates a bit better and then you’ll enjoy the wedding more as well.

    wrecker
    Member

    I say suck it up. Make a good start to things. Who knows you might enjoy it and make some new friends. I had the same thing for my BiLs stag. His mates regularly ring me up to go for a beer now.

    Junkyard
    Member

    he is about to be a part of your family and you get to meet him and all his mates whilst larking around…of course you should go …unless he is a complete dick or you are

    Premier Icon ransos
    Subscriber

    Am I being unreasonable and I should just suck it up, after all it will just be a couple of hours of my life?

    Yes. He’s going to be your brother in law – it’ll be a chance to get to know him.

    warton
    Member

    Will you regret not going? maybe at the wedding, when all the men are having a laugh about the stag, and you no doubt will have to mingle with them anyway?

    Premier Icon annebr
    Subscriber

    You are an adult aren’t you?

    Go, you might make new friends and at the very least get to know the new family a bit better.

    Premier Icon cp
    Subscriber

    Also, I don’t really know him all that well.

    You’ll know him (and mates) and darn site better after the event. My bro-in-laws stag doo was similar format – I knew no one before hand, but it made the wedding itself great. And still chat to the mates a few years later/have camping trips etc…

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Go. Egg all his mates on to force him to shotgun cans of Special Brew, while doing alternate tequila slammers, then bay like a gang of jackals as you force him to sit at the front of a lap dancing club for private dances, then make him drink more until he grand slams and passes out. Then shrink wrap him to the bonnet of Horas car

    cbmotorsport
    Member

    Go.

    It will be one of those occasions where you dread going but end up having a right laugh. Just be open minded and sociable.

    brakes
    Member

    go, tell loads of inappropriate stories about your wife (his sister) and make them both regret inviting you.

    Duggan
    Member

    What’s the activity?

    You’ll probably find you’ll have a really good time if you go. Every stag do I’ve been on people have been pretty inclusive and friendly when it comes to attendees who are late arrivals or on their tod etc.

    sharkbait
    Member

    I don’t really know him all that well.

    Well here’s your chance – stop being a drip. You never know you might actually like his mates. If you don’t go he will remember it for a long time and there’s a good chance you’ll regret it on the wedding day.

    Junkyard
    Member

    tell loads of inappropriate stories about your wife (his sister) and make them both regret inviting you.

    well if your sister is marrying your wife’s brother i would say take a banjo and have a duel

    HTH

    from the OP

    So my sis is getting married in August

    IHN
    Member

    As someone has said, you’re an adult (I assume) so either:

    – don’t go if you don’t want to, as an adult you can make that decision

    or

    – go and meet new people, as an adult you should be more than capable of it

    Or, in STW vernacular, MTFU

    brakes
    Member

    well if your sister is marrying your wife’s brother i would say take a banjo and have a duel

    😀

    I shud realy lern to reed

    plyphon
    Member

    Why don’t you just take 1 close mate to go with you so you’re not competently socially awkward.

    Then play drink the beers.

    johndoh
    Member

    Or, in STW vernacular, MTFU

    This

    clubber
    Member

    Sounds to me like the perfect opportunity to get to know your future BiL better. After a few beers I’m sure any awkwardness will disappear anyway.

    Premier Icon D0NK
    Subscriber

    If you already think he’s a dick maybe give it a miss, someone you dislike on their stag do would just multiply the effect, but if you don’t know him that well go, it’ll be reet – probably.

    irelanst
    Member

    I’ve been on a couple where future BILs have been asked. Generally they have been fine but one did get a bit uppity when the groom was telling the group about his future wife’s bedroom preferences and later when the groom disappeared for ‘afters’ at a lap dancing place.

    I was invited on my BILs before he married my sister, I went karting in the afternoon, then onto a pub for a meal/few beers. I left before things got too raucous, but that was mainly because I didn’t like him or his mates much.

    So I guess it depends on how you perceive your sister and how much of a nobber the groom is?

    Premier Icon unknown
    Subscriber

    Had this a couple of years ago. My wife made me go, didn’t know anyone before and didn’t like anyone when I got there! Had a rubbish time, it all went very Jeremy Kyle, and it’s a weekend of my life I’ll never get back. Having said that, I being it up all the time when I don’t want to do something family related and I am still getting passes issued because of it.

    Premier Icon footflaps
    Subscriber

    Thankfully I won’t be having a stag do. Personally I can’t think of anything worse (well OK, possibly a few things spring to mind, like Voting Tory, or having sex with Anne Widecombe).

    Premier Icon binners
    Subscriber

    Actually… don’t go. He’ll only have asked you to be polite, or he’s been forced too. Probably the latter. He’ll now be hoping and paying to god you say you can’t make it. Then he can get upto all sorts of stuff without having anyone directly related to report back

    swoosh
    Member

    So my sis is getting married in August and he fella is having a stag do and I’m invited. I don’t really want to go but my wife says that I should go.

    He went to uni in the town where I live so I can’t use that as an excuse. The plan is to go out for drinks on Friday night and an activity on Saturday, I genuinely can’t make the Friday night drinks so I can only make it to the Saturday activity. My wife says I should go but I won’t know anyone apart from the stag and missing the Friday night I feel I’m going to be on the outside from the start. Also, I don’t really know him all that well.

    Am I being unreasonable and I should just suck it up, after all it will just be a couple of hours of my life?

    eskay
    Member

    or having sex with Anne Widecombe

    Is that possible?

    Premier Icon lunge
    Subscriber

    Go. If you’re missing the drinking part then the activity part is a perfect way to “bond” with them. In my eyes, there are a few reasons.

    1. You’ll get to know a few other people.
    2. You get browny points for basically giving up 1 day, which is nothing for a bit of family harmony
    3. You may just enjoy it.
    4. Even if you don’t, it’s 1 day, it’s not the end of the world.

    I’m a bit biased here in that my stag do was this weekend and I had a wonderful time. As did my dad, my wife to be’s dad and her brother. The latter 2 did not really know anyone when they got there. By the end of the day they were all mucking in together and had a great time.

    patriotpro
    Member

    MTFU – go or don’t. People will get over it.

    Personally I think you should go with an open mind, who knows you might even get to know/like the BiL and the rest of the posse.

    You’re beng too negative IMO.

    muzzle
    Member

    Why not see if you can drag a mate along with you? I went on my future BiL’s stag do to Les Arcs a few years ago – didn’t know him that well and didn’t know any of his 12 mates who also went. Fortunately, he’d anticipated that and also invited one of my mates who he’d met only a couple of times. Had a great weekend – probably the best stag do I’ve been on, mainly cos it was the first time I tried mountain biking and now me and my mate who tagged along are keen bikers as a result. Also made the wedding much more of a laugh cos I’d met all the lads before.

    thegreatape
    Member

    Had the same thing a couple of weeks ago, only knew the groom. Just get pissed, then everyone loves you anyway.

    theflatboy
    Member

    As mentioned above, stags are guaranteed to make the wedding more fun as you’re mates with loads more people than just the circle through which you know the couple. Get involved.

    shermer75
    Member

    100% go!! You will DEFINITELY regret it if you don’t, and you will probably end up really enjoying it when you get there anyway. Unless they are all massive plums, in which case you will have to find that out sooner or later. Just don’t get drunker than the stag! (Not speaking from personal experience of course 😳 )

    andyrm
    Member

    Go – plenty of stag dos I have been on have had numerous people from the stag’s childhood, past, extended family etc etc and it always ends up with everyone gelling and having a good time.

    Ultimately it is a bunch of blokes, being allowed out by their respective women to go and do bloke stuff like guns, quad bikes, strippers and drinking. Why would you not go?

    titusrider
    Member

    I went on my brother in laws, I have nothing in common with him at all and was going mostly for free karting. Some of his mates were pretty kool and I had a good time!

    (still don’t really click with him though….)

    Rscott
    Member

    I[m not going to my brother in laws stag for severalreasons.

    1. Its inmunich and way to expensive
    2. his mates are all dicks
    3. there just getting pissed for the weekend and im not that kind of guy anymore.
    4. I’d rather be biking or kayaking,which i will be doing before there wedding too.
    5.even though my sister is my twin we ar not close at all soi dont feel bad.

    jamesy01
    Member

    Find out where they are having drinks on the Friday night and put £50 to £100 behind the bar.

    Then either go on the Saturday and be a hero….or don’t go and still be a hero.

    Its a win win situation!

    You’re lucky enough to miss the acting the dick thing on Friday. going to the activity thing probably won’t be all that bad as at the very least you’ll have something to do for the day. Give it a go.

    Premier Icon BoardinBob
    Subscriber

    Don’t go.

    Life’s too short to do stuff you don’t want to do. If the only tenuous link to the event is the BiL then don’t go.

    Premier Icon Kryton57
    Subscriber

    Just get completely pissed and therefore oblivious.

    I didn’t want to go to my brothers stag (based at his house) do with his holier than thou pretentious mates, but convinced him I should bring my best mate. We then alienated ourselves in thier eyes by drinking his entire weekend lager stash on the first Friday night, then getting to lecherous vomiting stage by 1am Saturday night in the pre arrange clubbing event. I think the final straw happened when we returned home at 3am only to accidentally let his new kittens out the door. This of course let to 2 raucous pissheads runninh around shouting “pussy” orientated comments withiin his gated community. Oh how we laughed the next day. 😀

    Over the next few days they sipped a couple of martini’s and distances themselves from us. So all in all I had a great time and didnt have to hang out with a bunch of despicable toffs, whilst maintaining the fact I’d made the effort to turn up.

    Premier Icon kcal
    Subscriber

    It’s a weird thing though inviting someone you don’t really know to a weekend of bonding with (usually) folk you do..

    My stag do was a weekend of easting, drinking and hill-walking in Glencoe, far removed from Les Arcs or Munich! Everyone there kind of knew everyone else already – directly or knew of them.. I think they all had a great time 🙂

    hora
    Member

    Do you struggle around strangers or people that you don’t know in social situations OP?

    Do you find it hard to go with the flow, take a chance, see how the night develops? Do you need to feel safe and secure in a tiny circle of friends?

    Harsh joking aside tbh it sounds like you wouldn’t be a laugh to be around. What if this bloke really likes you? Get to know him.

    One day he might be there for you when you really need it.

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