To help avoid sending traffic to the Daily Wail, here is a small extract for your reading pleasure – the author describes her own experience of cycling:
People undergo a strange transformation when they take up cycling. Four years ago I bought a Pashley bike. To paraphrase My Fair Lady, ‘Let a cycle in your life, and you invite eternal strife.’
As I wobbled along London’s roads, nearly hitting every pedestrian and car in sight, I was petrified and hysterical, screaming every shrewish curse I knew
After three days, disgusted with myself and unwilling to commit manslaughter, I rode on to the kerb – deliberately – and fell down. I then hailed a taxi and put my bike inside. I have never cycled since.
Genius prose – the DM never disappoints. 😀