As many others have said don’t worry about this.

If you go looking for a reason ‘why’ she’s been grouped this way, chances are there isn’t one.

I suspect this (possibly newly qualified) teacher at about 19:47 on a Monday night with her many things to do just took a breather between marking books, planning lessons, updating her mark sheet, starting to write end of year reports, working on an attempt of an outstanding lesson plan for an observation next week and maybe squeezing a bit of dinner to take a class list of her pupils and split them up into fairly random groups. She probably will have spent a bit of time strategically placing the trouble makers, the EAL and SEN kids.

If she starts letting people move then everyone will want to move or start calling its unfair. She’s trying to do the right thing by sticking to her decision not to let anyone change groups.

Maybe when you next pick her up from school politely mention that your daughter was looking forward to the trip, but would have enjoyed it more if she’d been in a group with an even mix of boys and girls or all girls and ideally with some of her friends.

We know because (as I mentioned above) my wife is a leader of one of the groups so she got the info sheet about the trip.

Let her sort it out. Or do what I would do and just leave it well alone.

probably funded or at least partly funded by the school

That one always makes me laugh.

smatkins1, someone who understands the wonderful world of the NQT.

If it helps, said NQT will likely be having a small end of term breakdown as she realises half her class haven’t gone up the required levels and she still has all of her end of year reports to write along with her final observation lessons that will determine if she passes the year. She’ll have stressed for 2 days about the make up of the groups as pretty much every NQT stresses about every tiny detail (I know 3 who lost sleep and shed tears of what to call their tables) and then when she finally thinks they’re right someone will ask to move as little Jonny doesn’t like little Sarah. She will go home and cry.

then they are in the wrong job if they cry over that.

IMHO this seems like a less than ideal solution and a fairly inflexible approach from the school. Its not the end of the world but , depending in her reaction tonight, I suspect I would be speaking to the school.

Hope all the kids get a PUDDING….

She will go home and cry.

But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week before she found out she was going to be isolated from her friends and any other girls?

its not ideal but it is not life changing either. Hence the spectrum of opinion

IMHO this seems like a less than ideal solution and a fairly inflexible approach from the school.

Why? They may well have perfectly good reasons behind why they did it, perhaps reasons they don’t particularly want to share but perfectly good ones none the less. I struggle to see how speaking to the teacher after the event will gain any kind of positive outcome for child, parent, teacher or school.

Edit.

But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week before she found out she was going to be isolated from her friends and any other girls?

It’s certainly not ideal but as I said, there may well be reasons you and she do not know off. So yes, it is OK, not ideal, not good, but it is OK.

perhaps reasons they don’t particularly want to share

I don’t believe that a school should take that approach to their decision-making – they should be accountable for their decisions and therefore I should feel I am able to ask the question should I wish to.

I struggle to see how speaking to the teacher after the event will gain any kind of positive outcome for child, parent, teacher or school.

Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.

perhaps reasons they don’t particularly want to share but perfectly good ones none the less.

A yes the old it’s none of your business answer 🙄

TBH I’m with Binners on this one. IN the whole scheme of things its annoying but not a big deal, there will be greater battles to come.

Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.

As I understand it the information was shared with your wife, one of the helpers. It wasn’t meant to be shared with the children in question. If the kids had been split into groups, in a seemingly random way, at the venue, would your daughter have been upset all day? Or would she have just carried on enjoying, the way that 6 year olds tend to?

By telling your daughter the day before that she had been split from her friends you have caused the tears.

Sorry johndoh, that ^^ sounds a lot more confrontational than I mean but I’ll leave it in that form.. 😉

As I understand it the information was shared with your wife, one of the helpers.

I am not aware that they have given a reason for the decision (although when I see my wife tonight I will find out). From what I understand, all they did was refuse to change the groups.

By telling your daughter the day before that she had been split from her friends you have caused the tears.

I didn’t, I believe they were told at school as she left the classroom crying yesterday afternoon.

ScottChegg – Member
probably funded or at least partly funded by the school
That one always makes me laugh.

Do you want to share the joke?

I didn’t, I believe they were told at school as she left the classroom crying yesterday afternoon

Ah fair enough then. Ignore me.

Do you want to share the joke?

I don’t think you’d get it.

As others have said, suck it up – it isn’t the end of the world.

it isn’t the end of the world

I know it’s not, it just seemed a very odd decision and a large part of me wants to understand WHY.

Posts like this make me realise how desperately SAD todays parents are …
I have little sympathy – you cant wrap them in cotton wool forever and a valuable lesson could be learned , by you as well , that sometimes you cant have it all your own way . The school made a decision regarding the groups , they are IN CHARGE of your child whether you like it or not .
Wifey is on the trip FFS , poor lamb isn’t going to out on a limb is she ??
Get a life mate – I mean – really …

WERE annoyed with OUR school , says it all 🙄

Err, because I want to understand why they made such a strange decision that lead to hours of crying from a six year old child and probably spoiled her enjoyment of the day.

I understand that, but I still don’t see a positive outcome for anyone. Your daughter still isn’t with her friends, you may get an answer you don’t like and get more annoyed, the school gets increased scrutiny on a subject that really isn’t that important and the teacher feels undermined. So who wins?

I don’t believe that a school should take that approach to their decision-making – they should be accountable for their decisions and therefore I should feel I am able to ask the question should I wish to.

I’d agree if, when the school gave an answer that was fair but perhaps not to everyone’s liking, it was accepted. But generally it’s not, it’s attacked, often with little understanding of the reasons behind it despite the schools best efforts to explain. Parents often see things, understandably, from only the perspective of their kids, a schools jobs is to see it from the entire class. That can often upset people.

and a valuable lesson could be learned

What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?

See how your daughter dealt with it today – if she was Ok and had no problems, it is a non-issue.

If it didn’t go well, you are perfectly entitled to ask why the groups were split as they were IF it spoilt her trip. But just ask and let them explain their reasons.

When MCJnr was in early years, every June/July we ended up with some similar problems – not just us, other parents as well, not always minor, some fairly bizarre year group splits that the head and/or the governors tried to set up. The head would get very stroppy when questioned, but a lot of decisions got reviewed and changed.

I think the summer term is so busy with trips, activities, planning for the new school years and new intake, that sometimes simple things like this get overlooked by the school. They are only human, like all of us.

If they were all daaarn’t pit at six, like in the good old days, this wouldn’t be a problem

What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?

Life’s a bitch
sometimes you’ve got to do stuff you don’t want to do

I can understand why your daughter would be upset, but surely it’s up to you, as a parent to tell her she needs to accept it, and be brave? that’s certainly what i would be telling my kids.

I know my oldest was intentionally put in a different class to his best mate, because they always just played with each other, and no one else. Now he’s got a bunch of friends, but there were tears the first few days.

We know because (as I mentioned above) my wife is a leader of one of the groups so she got the info sheet about the trip.

Has your wife shared this info with other parents to enable them to choose which group their kids go in? Fair’s fair.
It all sounds like a fuss over nothing.
I’m glad I’m not a teacher, I’d get the sack.

warton – Member
What valuable lesson is learned by isolating one six year old child in a year group when all others get to be with friends?
Life’s a bitch
sometimes you’ve got to do stuff you don’t want to do

If she came home crying because she found out that she was with girls A, B & C rather than girls X, Y & Z you’d have a point but making her the one child to be alone on a trip is a pretty crappy place for her to be, especially as (and the teacher knows and has expressed her concern before) she does sometimes get marginalised by her friendship group because she doesn’t always have very good social skills.

I know my oldest was intentionally put in a different class to his best mate, because they always just played with each other, and no one else.

That is very different – and we have supported the school in their decision to break up our girls’ friendship group next year for similar reasons.

lasty – Member

Posts like this make me realise how desperately SAD todays parents are …
I have little sympathy – you cant wrap them in cotton wool forever and a valuable lesson could be learned , by you as well , that sometimes you cant have it all your own way . The school made a decision regarding the groups , they are IN CHARGE of your child whether you like it or not .
Wifey is on the trip FFS , poor lamb isn’t going to out on a limb is she ??
Get a life mate – I mean – really …

WERE not happy with OUR school , says it all

Wrap them in cotton wool forever? Clucking bell, she’s 6. 😆

Sounds like you’re daughter has laready been wrapped up in too much cotton wool and has little princess tendencies. My 4yr old daughter had something similar happen lately, she just got on with it.

^^^^ My 4yr old daughter had something similar happen lately, she just got on with it. ^^^^

As would most kids to be honest – it all goes wrong when the parents get involved and make a drama out of nothing ….

I know it’s not, it just seemed a very odd decision and a large part of me wants to understand WHY.

Let it go, if this kind of stuff is going to send you into a tail spin, and they’re in yr1. School is going to stress you out waaaay too much.

😆

Not really in a tailspin, just disappointed in the school. I think many of you are actually over-estimating wildly the level of anger/frustration I am feeling.

Annoyed with our school – leave it or complain?

most (if not all) have been in the leave it camp? If even you’re not all that bothered then hopefully all that’s happened is your daughter had a great day 😀

Are they back yet?

That’s what I was wondering… I also finally realised that “leave it” referred to the problem, not the actual school…

Binners +1 I think.

But it is okay for a 6 year old to be in tears from leaving school to going to bed and being left not wanting to go on the school trip to the Toy Museum that she had been excited about all week

This is quite a big reaction to the situation. Might be worth checking nothing else is worrying her ? Also worth seeing if maybe she needs some help from you regarding resilience – ways to manage her concerns/worries.

Not really in a tailspin, just disappointed in the school. I think many of you are actually over-estimating wildly the level of anger/frustration I am feeling.

Not being intentionally challenging here but as you started a thread about it, I assumed it must be troubling you to a reasonable degree.

BTW – dad of 3 here who is often annoyed by school management and it is worrying sometimes. Hope your daughter had a good day too!

Friendship groups are evil (especially amongst girls) and need to be split at every opportunity or cliques quickly develop. Then one day your children find themselves on the outside of the clique and can’t cope.

To me, independence is one of the best things to teach your children.

School teachers put a ridiculous amount of consideration into social groupings. They get it right way more than they get it wrong.
If any of my kids were upset by this type of situation then I would have asked them to KTFU, but then they are fairly resilient.

Don’t be THAT Parent…

She may also learn that actually 6yo boys are pretty cool to be friends with. Bugs me that kids are already dividing themselves in two gender camps at an age when it should make absolutely no difference.

Not every day is a perfect day. Kids will be happier if they can get on with a range of people. No challenges means no growth.

+1 Don’t be that parent.

Not being picky, however it sounds like you’re being the parent who takes any chance to be critical based on other issues!

(and I have never been happy with her performance)

This is a non-issue that will serve no long term benefit, it’s not worth the effort.