Derek,

My apologies if I offended you, I take note of the bar end situation as I did when a bar end nearly went through my face years ago – SFB has a pic of same.

I didn't post a pic of that incident even though I am extremely good looking.

I have learned that some of lifes great comedians occupy themselves on STW forum and I really wouldn't want to be insulted by a lesser calibre of folk nowadays

Plum

For whats its worth I had a date with a lovely lady yesterday who was considerably more robust than your good self. She wanted to suck my cock, whatever next!

isn't that the 'belly' from that TV add ?

riding with the sharp metal ends of bars open, good one that. As if rocks/roots/cars etc aren't dangerous enough.

derek_starship

I would also like to apologise if I caused you any offence. My post was meant as friendly banter and childish humour, nothing more. I misunderstood the meaning of your post and thought you were ok with it.

All the best

roper

I learned my lesson a few years ago with an unplugged bar to the groin 🙁

Missed most of the important bits, wedding tackle, glands etc, but did managed to rupture a major vein, which drained about half a pint of blood into my leg. Imagine a almost black bruise wrapping 3/4 round the thigh, and stretching to below the knee – not very pleasant 😯

Witnessed a very nasty sight at Cheddar a few years ago too – guy came off while racing 4X, and even though he was wearing a full face and goggles, managed to take a core sample of his cheek – when he got up it looked like his eye-ball was dangling by the optic nerve 😳

Remember kids, bar plugs are good, mmmkay?

Cheers, Rich

fell from a hieght??? what were you doing?

Dobbo – WTF???? 😯

I love you all.

DS, sort yourself out quickly fella. I'll be in touch once my own situation improves (things are looking up BTW).

Ignore the cocks on here.

It doesn't take long for me to be reminded why I hardly ever use this forum any more.

Dobbo, good job they protected her identity! You' never pick her out in a crowd!

Why not just REMOVE THE PICTURE???

I didn't post a pic of that incident even though I am extremely good looking.

such fitting modesty:

Why not just REMOVE THE PICTURE???

whilst that might be appropriate in the interests of good taste it would not address the problem of forumites poking fun at people for almost any reason, though I'm given to wonder if the OP isn't feigning offence to guilt trip his detractors…

Blimy derek – that's pretty nasty. Funny you should post this 'cos I changed some grips a wee while back and the ends are still open on that bike cos I don't have any bar plugs which fit.

I'm gonna make sure I get some now after seeing your post.

BTW – chicks dig scars n bruises 😉

Plumber, what the **** is that on your chin?

I think it's what's known in the trade as a 'minge tickler'.

what the **** is that on your chin?

that is known as a "muff tickler" :o) It shows a proper attention to complete female satisfaction.

BTW – chicks dig scars n bruises

littlegirlbunny you neglected to include "beer bellies" …

When people comment about my belly or weight I just tell them it takes a big hammer to knock a big nail in 😉 you skinny little panel pins.

Sorry to the OP but some of those comments made me laugh. I had a similar situation about 10 years ago, 1 night in hospital with lots of blood in my wee. Got woken at 3 in the morning by a CRASH team surrounding my bed. A student nurse couldnt find any blood pressure and hit the emergency button. I was fine she just hadn't screwed something down on the blood pressure machine. Poor girl got loads of stick for that.

It shows a proper attention to complete female satisfaction

though not Thierry Henry, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods.

Complete female satisfaction? What in the name of almighty arse gravy is that about then? I'm from Barnsley, and this sort of talk will not be tolerated!

Well maybe all the keyboard warrior who had nasty comment about derek size could post a pic of their belly just so I can have a laugh too…

On topic get well better derek, looks bad.

it takes a big hammer to knock a big nail in

spoken like a true Barnesly-ite 🙂

Well maybe all the keyboard warrior who had nasty comment about derek size could post a pic of their belly

people always complain when I post naked shots of myself 🙁

Sfb – that wasnt me. Unless Sturmey's from this lovely South Yorkshire shangri-la too, and if he is, perhaps we could go wife leathering together?

well done to those who aplogised to Derek. I find it tough to apologise for anything, so nuff respec' to ya.

Plumber… after seeing the pic, i now see the comedy you were using in this quote

I didn't post a pic of that incident even though I am extremely good looking.

hmmmm…..

that was good…. very funny.
😛

It shows a proper attention to complete female satisfaction.

IME it shows complete lack of thought and gets "get that scratchy thing shaved off before you come anywhere near me with it".

So you've met my wife then coffeeking?

IME it shows complete lack of thought and gets "get that scratchy thing shaved off before you come anywhere near me with it".

that's the funniest part – it really signals hopeless misunderstanding :o)

I didn't post a pic of that incident even though I am extremely good looking.

he was being serious…

Sfb – that wasnt me.

I knew that.

nasty injury…..!

ignore the comments or take them as they are meant; in jest.

hope you clear up soon….

i fell onto my bars once. everything was fine for three days and i even went 1000m up an alp without probs. went out on the fourth day, again up an alp. things were ok on the way up but as soon as i started going down the shakes and bouncing nearly did me in. i was almost in tears. ended up cruising down on fireroads for almost an hour.

So you've met my wife then coffeeking?

You could say that… 😆

She's from Cambridge, so this was bound to happen eventually – bloody southerners!

that is known as a "muff tickler" :o)

Really? Round here it's known as a "ball tickler" 😛

See dereck? This is what happens to everybody that posts pictures of themselves on here. Dont let it wind you up – if they smell weakness, they'll never let up. Bloody hyenas, that's all they are.

One of the best things about riding with folk is the piss ripping that occurs. Pretty much everyone I know reckons that the banter is the highlight of any ride, and likewise most forums.

Fact is it is a big belly, and it is a nasty injury. No one was actually intending any offence, as is reflected by the apologies, and to be honest the reaction says more about you, Derek than it does about the p-rippers. I very much doubt that anyone on here is anything other than supportive of your efforts to get fit, sympathetic regarding your injury, and grateful for the warning.

You can choose to be offended, or choose to believe that having the micky taken is the equivalent of an arm round the shoulder and a bit of support from people who don't do huggy kissy.

You'll find your life is much more pleasant if you choose the latter.

You are welcome any time on a ride with me, but lighten up fella. (You can choose how to interprete that too!).

One of my first ever posts on here was a picture of my new bike – my absolute pride and joy. It was greeted with loads of "Fugly half clean bike", and "Look at the f00k1n state of your garden" type comments.

I was properly wound up about it for about half a day, until I started to understand the nature of the beast which is this forum. Is it right? Is it acceptable? Doesn't matter – it is what it is 😀

And yes, you were lucky – a kid at my local skate park landed on his bar ends and managed to rupture his spleen amongst other things – nearly died according to the paramedics. We had the dubious honour of first aiding him til they arrived and we also thought he was on his way out. Never thought to check for bar end plugs…

I heard of something similar recently – guy fell, landed on end of bars and they stuck in his leg about 3 inches – had to go to hospital to get it sorted.

Another one – fell off on tarmac and was missing a nipple when he got up!!! Still can't get my head round that one… 😕