[Closed] Young children in lockdown - development and behaviour

I’m not a parent - so maybe shouldn’t comment. But my cousin and his wife didn’t send their first child to nursery etc (not sure why) and it did create some challenges as she didn’t know how to interact with children. However, after some time at school her behaviour significantly improved and she is now much better with other kids. I guess I’m hoping that it provides a bit of hope that it might be tricky now, but from her experience kids will learn to adapt again (I appreciate this is one child and this won’t be universal). Best of luck.

@ahsat Thank you for sharing, that does give me hope. I think kids are much more adaptable than I perhaps give them credit for! I really hope things improve by the summer.

Our son had limited contact when he was young but we put him with a childminder when he was about 2.5. he then went to a pre-school and has had no problems since. He was a bit slower on the learning curve at the start of pre-school but they recognised this and put him on a special programme (Tizzy the Tiger) that helped him. He is in y2 at Primary now and doing great - really social with other children lots of friends (he knows more people than I do if we go for a walk around the local area) so I wouldn't worry too much. There is plenty of time to catch up and develop at that age.

Not specifically but I have a huge amount of sympathy. I guess all we can hope is that kids are remarkably resilient and although this is a formative time, it is also a relatively short time. I'd do what you are - find stimulus in other ways and the interactions bit will come in due course (this thing WILL pass)

I have similar with my son who has been living a different life for a few years now, he came out properly in January and started living his new life with all the + and - points that a 13 yo gets when coming out. Then in March, interactions ceased and he has become totally withdrawn. September, things improved again, then in Nov with class isolations, etc., and now this we're back at square 1 or worse, because my 'this will pass' prediction's been kicked away. He has nowhere to find and test his new identity or to support him in it.

I understand why closing schools is vital right now, my wife's a school worker (office, not teaching but still needed to go in and cover supervision where staff are off) so I fully support, but some days it feels like the normality of school is all that's between my son and I don't like to think what. It's nearly black and white and may be for majority of cases but not all of them.

The most important interactions at that age are the parents so I wouldn’t worry to much at this point (my mum was a specialist on the field).
It’s definitely older children who are suffering most at the moment. Both of my kids are feeling it. Unfortunately the older one has stopped eating - lost 7 kilos in three months. Having spoken to BEAT and our GP it’s clear lots of teens are really suffering.

sorry, just to add to my post because it's a bit 'me me me'

My wife's initial school training was as a Montessori teacher before she decided she didn't like other people's toddlers as much as she thought.......

I remember from some of that that a key development stage is really 3-5 years old*, so unless this continues way longer than even the pessimists believe then there's plenty of catch up time

* of course varies child to child.

And toddler tantrums about sharing are normal, whether they have experienced sharing before or not. I don't think any of them really understand the benefits / need to share at that time, all they are really learning is how to control the anger.

Our youngest is just 3. He's been at nursery since October and has a 5 year old brother. We're pretty isolated and like you just head out for walks etc when we've been locked down. I can reassure you that tears, shouting, mayhem around who is using who's toys is perfectly normal. I feel less like a parent more like a wrestling referee most of the time!

I wouldn't worry too much. They are amazingly adaptable little things. The fact you're worrying about this shows you're a good parent. Just keep doing what you think is best and i'm sure she'll flourish!

Nick, we are also NE and have two under 4. The youngest is a similar age to your little one.

The behaviour re toys is totally expected amongst children that age. They don't have a great concept of sharing. We tried a lot with our eldest to try and trade toys, not just take them away. When we want her to give something up, we don't ask her to share. Sharing does not equate to giving things away but maybe taking turns. Anyway, it's not unexpected behaviour and can and will improve with training and growing up.

Interaction with other kids is a difficult one and not much you can do about that unless you have the will and the ability to start at a nursery. Our youngest had no concept of being away form her mum or dad that even when we could, leaving her briefly with a grandparent was heartbreaking.

Crafts... yeah we're big in to our crafts. The Owl Tree Cafe (Gosforth/Kenton) have done craft boxes that they will deliver (wo got ours yesterday, no idea what is inside it but SWMBO liked the cafe and stuff there back BC). We also did a Toucan Box, which was good. Not cheap but they have nice actvities with equipment and materials supplied (paint, pencils). There's plenty of gluing and sticking, lots of basis on proper artists and last year we even grew a heap of sunflowers, basil and nasturtiums! Also CBeebies Craft magazines and good, but even with our (nearly) 4 y/o I have to do most of the cutting out. She has scissors, she' sjust a perfectionist so I have to do it!!!!

Immerse yourself in Hey Duggee but try not to watch it without your little one.

Good luck!

North East based with 19 month old son - we have our lad in nursery 2 days/ week and it seems to have helped - worth considering maybe?
We do drawing, painting, lots facetime calls with relatives so he knows his grandparents in Ireland. He seems a happy enough and curious child so far.
He's moved to a different room in nursery today and we were anxious as only started January but was closed march to end of August so missed a lot, bit seems to have adapted.
Have you looked at online classes? We did some music ones for a while which he enjoyed.
We've also got him a good insulated waterproof suit (decathlon snow/sledging suit is great) and plod around local park/ playground where he can see other kids and interact at a distance. For a while he was bit spooked by it but seems cool with it all now.
If Newcastle based happy to meet socially distant at play area for similar.
We were concerned too about development imoact, but overall grateful he's this young as feel he's more likely to be less impacted than if was couple years older.

For example, until Christmas she had zero memory of another child coming into her house and playing with her toys (there was absolute mayhem when her cousin came round.. tears, shouting, screaming, the lot..).

this sounds perfectly normal. 😉

My daughter is (just) 6 and was eating spaghetti and peas with her hands. My son (nearly 11) was using a bowl and fork like he'd just thawed from ice and this was the first time he'd seen such advances in technology.

All kids (genuinely) are regressing slighly - not just educationally, but some developmental issues too.

I suspect they will pick back up again once all this calms down.

However, as you youngster is so young, i appreciate your concerns...

Not sure what the bigger answer is, but I'd try not to worry, and carry on offering your own interaction..

DrP

The worst thing for us is that our eldest (3.5) requires a LOT of attention without any other children to play with and does very little play on her own (something even nursery have noticed). It's completely exhausting. Our youngest is completely different and happily plays on her own for ages.

We've "bubbled up" with someone else how has a child the same age and it's helped a lot to have another child for her to play with. It's a million times easier as they just play together with very little input from us needed.

I wouldn’t worry at all. My two both stayed at home with Mrs F until they were 3 (Funkette is still at home, but went to playgroups, tumble tots etc pre covid) and they are both completely fine. Funk Jr was pretty ill as a kid so didn’t have much interaction with anyone other than parents, grandparents and doctors until he was about two and a half. He’s a very confident little guy.

And toddler tantrums about sharing are normal, whether they have experienced sharing before or not. I don’t think any of them really understand the benefits / need to share at that time, all they are really learning is how to control the anger.

Yeah, they’re basically little self centred psychopaths when toddlers. I love my daughter more than anything but she is an utter bastard to her brother at times. The hardest part with the sharing tantrums is not laughing at them. That just makes it worse

Our two were definitely not cool with the lockdown. Youngest was flat out refusing to do anything relating to schoolwork, educational achievements fell way behind; eldest was starting to show some really bad behaviours. 5 and 8 for reference. Immediate turn around when they went back to school. Not relishing the idea of lockdown for them.

Glad to see we're all in the same boat!!

Oh, my lad (10) 'forgot' how to tie shoelaces. Spent 3 months just dragging laces along wherever we went. Bastard never fell flat on his face 'as a lesson' either..hmm.... 😀
And my daughter just wears onseies now.

I've never loved a pair of idiots so much in my life!!!

DrP

my 7 year old has handled it all really well and shows no signs of this affecting him , i still worry about him though . My 2 year old (3 in march ) spent the morning screaming because i didn't know what a bobo is or how to draw a bobo then spent the 20 mins sat on his arse in a frozen field whilst we tried to have a family dog walk . I don't know if lockdown has had anything to do with it , normally nursery 3 days a week  but he's definitely harder work than his brother but then all kids are different so who knows . All i know is covid or no covid you worry about your kids for some reason or another but also what your worrying about now you wont even remember in a year .

Sounds like terrible twos.
So she's doing well and ahead of schedule.
Pat yourself on the back for excellent parenting and try not to worry too much.

Apologies for the delayed response, I’ve been on Teams calls all day 😐.

Thank you very much indeed to everyone for taking the time to post, share your personal experiences, make suggestions and even offers to meet up in the NE. You really are a great bunch of people on STW.

I’m glad to hear that the tantrums and sharing thing is completely normal and had a giggle at some of the comments about kids being little psychopaths 😂.

I’m going to order some of the arts and crafts stuff suggested and also tune into Hey Duggee to get some rest from Peppa.. although I do find all the cheap shots at daddy pig quite amusing!

Thanks again