Some of the marketing material I created ended up on 'Have I Got News For You'. In the section where they take an obscure industry publication and block out part of a headline.
Not sure if that was my highest marketing moment, or lowest...
Right now, pretty much every new product that SRAM unveils is built to a proprietary new standard that no-one asked for.
Pentapeptides
Any advert that tries to be personable
Agreed, any form of wackaging can do one. Innocent smoothies and virgin trains are among the worst culprits.
Recently gave some feedback to a company I've used for ages as they'd changed their courier. They'd previously used DPD with hourly slots that worked well for the heavy items they'd deliver, but had since moved to FedEx with an all-day slot. I sent a polite email and had no intention of changing suppliers - just wanted to advise that their new courier was less convenient. I got the following response:
They [FedEx] are one of the largest courier services in the world, with an amazing reputation for on-time, quality deliveries. I understand they don't currently provide the one-hour time slot you are used to, but we know this will be made up with their best in class service.
What does that last sentence even mean???
Changed supplier!
[i]Add pretty much any hair or face product targeted at the laydeeeeeZ to the list[/i]
Surely they are bloody brilliant marketing? If they can get millions of ladies buying a half gram tube of "revitalising cream" guaranteed to make them look 106 years younger in 2 hours for £35 then they've done a fantastic marketing job.
Nationwide ads with people singing or reading poetry on them - I will never sign up for a Nationwide product while these vomit inducing missives are inflicted upon my TV.
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 16px; background-color: #eeeeee;">Surely they are bloody brilliant marketing? If they can get millions of ladies buying a half gram tube of “revitalising cream” guaranteed to make them look 106 years younger in 2 hours for £35 then they’ve done a fantastic marketing job.</span>
^^This!!!
<span style="color: #444444; font-size: 12px;">What does that last sentence even mean???</span>
"To save money we have gone with a cheaper courier. Whilst far worse than the old one compared to the other cheap couriers they may occasionally manage to deliver to the right address so they are the best in class even if its a lot lower class than you would like".
"Best in class"
= Class size, 1.
"Listen carefully, here comes the science bit"
"Look, right, people have taken the piss out of the adverts with made up sciencey sounding names. So what we're going to do is go one better and take the piss right our of tour target market because they can't tell the difference between voodoo and science, and I'm betting the farm that they won't even realise it. If I'm honest all we actually have to do is slap a picture of someone with airbrushed hair on the advert, play some sexy music, and its a done deal. Now, what are we charging the client for this advice again?"
"what's a compuder?"
[i]Inspired by dentists.[/i]
Any IT company website - they'll spangle on and on about leveraging synergies and harmonising heuristics to give runicble reconciliation of bottom line spurglits... but don't actually explain what their product does.
In fact I sometimes used to share the first paragraph off a website with people in the office and ask them what it was selling - it was a rare day that anyone worked it out.
I have been to the cinema quite a lot in the last few months.
If I see that Twitter ad with Romesh Ranganathan one more time.. there..will..be..blood.
Not anti Twitter,but Jebus H Crhiest on a bike what a load of annoying bobbins.
^^^yes^^^ twotter! However, I've just seen a holiday advert for First Choice holidays, fanbloodytastic:
GO MAHOOSIVE WITH THE ALL INCLUSIVE
Classy.
It's the car ads for me.
There's one at the moment at the cinema where a man manages to corall some snarling wolves protecting his palatious house using nothing but his aggessively styled SUV.