If ever there was a lesson in making a small, cheap to buy car cool and fun to drive the Puma was it.We had a few of those for pool / demo cars too and they were bloody brilliant, 1.4 or 1.7 it didn't matter, I still think they look good now (sadly they rust which means there aren't many left) almost the exact opposite of the TF in every way - it was really a tarted up fiesta, a small FWD shopping car in a dress, but it drove beautifully. It wasn't fast per-se I think it was about 9 seconds 0-60 but it felt faster. Loved Pumas.
Agreed - had the 1.7 myself and never drove the 1.4 to compare, but the Yamaha engine (or Kawasaki - I can never remember) was great. It was also the first car I ever owned from new so it has a special place in my heart 🙂
Anything, simply anything by Ford or Vauxhall currently. They are all built to an exacting budget, and look and feel like that whatever you are in.
We had a few of those for pool / demo cars too and they were bloody brilliant, 1.4 or 1.7 it didn't matter, I still think they look good now (sadly they rust which means there aren't many left) almost the exact opposite of the TF in every way - it was really a tarted up fiesta, a small FWD shopping car in a dress, but it drove beautifully. It wasn't fast per-se I think it was about 9 seconds 0-60 but it felt faster. Loved Pumas.
Oh really? I had mine 9 years and never saw any rust.
Not fast accelerating but it went around corners fast if you had the balls - and it recovered nicely from a skid.... I've grown up now.
They rusted through on the rear arches.
Diesel Metro, 1.3 Escort MkV, auto Corsa all have a special place in my heart for being especially shit.
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Surely it's an easy win for the hateful, lethal, and it's-so-c**ppy_it's_not_even_really_a_car_car G-Wiz!
I've put quite a few miles on a silver one just like the picture and I rather liked it. Yes it is tiny, it struggles to reach 40mph, the suspension is crap. However I still found it fun to drive, it was cheap and suprisingly quite reliable and applying for the tax disk renewal was a sheer pleasure.
So in true STW heres mine
Pug 306 Roland Garros 1.6 petrol /head gasket / electrics /wheel bearings / brakes
Loved the car to look at and the interior was nice ,white leather on green seats (vom) spent close to 1000s on it in the end thank god it got stolen a true bag of French shite and the reason would rather take the peasant wagon than drive a French car ever again.
Yes sadly, I think the Kas and Fiesta's of the same era suffer with the same thing. It starts in the rear inner wings by the time you see it bubbling through on the outside it's pretty bad. It started to happen at about the 10 year mark when they were getting down in value so a lot ended up being scrapped rather than repaired.
They're quite old now so I guess only good ones are left.
I once hired a Saturn SUV where the driver's seat wasn't pointing quite forward.
Once hired a Nissan Vannette and the seat (which has to be removed for servicing) hadn't been clipped back on properly after its pre-hire checks. Pulled out quite enthusiastically from the hire depot onto a roundabout and got launched into the back of the van - which was thankfully quite keen on stalling.
Got it all clipped together properly then went to pick up my GF - was explaining the seat incident as we pulled away and discovered her seat hadn't been clipped in properly either 🙂
From Glasgow to Hastings we didn't really talk about anything further - the van had a massive (for its size) engine that only made noise rather than progress but was never the less very effective at burning money.
Says a lot more about about you and the person driving at the time (if not you).Thankfully it was smashed into a bollard on its return to Geneva never to be seen again.
By the time I reached the M25, I had a nagging back ache, because the steering wheel was offset two inches to the left.
I'm glad you said this, as I thought it was just me. Is there a reason for it? My first two cars, a Mk1 Fiesta and a Mk3 Escort did it, I'm sure I've had others over the years, and irritatingly I'm currently in a BMW 1-Series which also does it. In the Beemer I've to make a conscious effort to shift across into the middle of the seat or I end up with the seat edge digging into my shoulder blade.
My first car was a squits-coloured Allegro, you bastids.
Russet Brown, ITYF. (-:
TBH US cars are a product of their environment. Old ones are shit, but old cars worldwide were shit - especially pre-70s when the Japanese 'invented' quality control and reliability.
The thing you've got to remember about American cars is, America doesn't have any corners. They design cars to go in straight lines (though in fairness they often don't do that very well either).
people aspire to own a lincoln town car! WTAF?
A friend on mine in the US had one of these in the 90s, I think it might even have been his first car. It was bizarre, it had a bench seat up front so you could get three or four people in the front row (or two Americans) and had porridgelastic suspension. He loved it.
Then you've got those Rover 800s, which were clones of the Honda Legend, without being anywhere near as well made or good.
I'd completely erased it from my memory until you said that, but I had a Rover 800 fastback for a while. It was at a time when I was out of work, and my then-girlfriend's dad gave it to me (if I recall correctly he'd been given it as surplus to requirements by a friend of his in the first place). He was a car nut and a full-on Jaguar fanboy, so big old cars that didn't work properly were his bread and butter.
I don't actually remember it being all that bad in and of itself, but I've always been a sucker for that sort of pseudo-coupé long hatchback design (my favourite car-of-my-youth was the mighty Cavalier). Thing was though, given the age and mileage I think this one's previous owner might have been Captain Kirk.
Its biggest failing was that it was incontinent, it haemorrhaged coolant. "It'll be right," the not-father-in-law told me, "just carry a bottle of water and keep it topped up." This kinda worked until one fateful day in December when I was driving a poorly girlfriend back home from East Lancashire to South Wales.
It was dark, it was blizzarding, it was about zero degrees Kelvin outside, and I had to get a now very grumpy g/f back home. All the while leaking coolant*. Towards the end of the journey I ran out of water - including the top-up bottles - and as readers probably know, one of the side-effects of falling coolant is that the cabin heater stops working. I generally run hot as a person and I've never been as cold in my life. There was nowhere nearby to top up and after a journey from hell I thought "bugger it" and pushed on through the last leg. We got safely back to her house with the car boiling its bollocks off and ran for cover.
#SadlyNotSadly, that was its last journey. With its life blood pissed all the way down the M6, we came back to it the next day to find a very seized engine indeed. I wish it no ill will, it was a lifeline when I was down on my luck, but my god was its last hurrah a miserable few hours.
(* - the car, not the girlfriend)
Same, might have a different opinion now it's a "classic", but as an 18 year old it was slow, noisy, uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Funny that, as an 18yr old I can recall driving my parents' 2CV across a stubble field, at night, the roof rolled back and three mates standing up with shotguns blasting away at rabbits caught in the headlights.
Nothing embarrassing there....
Got to be the Renault Laguna 2004 era.
We had these as supposedly great company cars and within a couple of months at least 3 of them went back in for Gear box or electrical faults. It got to the point at about a year that we pulled the plug with them and went back to astras and vectras... that's how bad it was.
never did figure out the "parking" button, versus the "auto handbrake" button
Wife's Golf has this. I think the button turns auto hold on and off, but CBA to find out.
The [i]best[/i] bad car ever was a 1.7tdi Mk 4 Astra estate pool car. This was also in the days when the police didn't go on the M6 toll…
The best bad car ever was a 1.7tdi Mk 4 Astra estate
Had one in the van variant until recently - cheapest to buy, cheapest to run, most fun and surprisingly robust and reliable old shit bucket I've ever driven.
I know millions were sold, but an H reg Mk 5 Escort.
It just felt crap. It was pale blue and had blue plastic interior. Had the CVH engine which was rough but reiiable but the gearbox went and seized solid, the steering never gave much feedback and had the turning circle of the queen Mary but the worst part was the brakes were awful.
As it was coming to the end of my time with it, the brakes decided they would start locking up the rear before the front wheels
Says a lot more about about you and the person driving at the time (if not you).
Of course it does poppet 🙄
slow, noisy, uncomfortable and embarrassing.
Sounds like my ex girlfriend.
It remains the only vehicle that I've ever spun on the public highway.
You've not driven a BMW in the wet then? 🙂
was Autocar car of the year in the late 70s!Austin Princess
-was at my local garage when someone brought one of these in, a 2.2 iirc.Mechanic opened the bonnet and you could not access anything ,the engine was squeezed in that tight.Think you had to unmount the engine for even basic repairs.Renault Laguna
The shape of things to come, then.
I spent a good part my later teenage years sat in the passenger seat of my mates Dad's new state of the art married man's macho Montego Turbo.......oh yes, 0-60 in 7 seconds British executive 80's semi sports car, those were the days, except we were mostly sat waiting for the AA van to tow it home.
I give you.... the Nissan Almera!
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My first company car. It's only redeeming feature was a "curry hook" in the passenger footwell:
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That "Curry Hook" is a great idea - why don't all cars have that?
That "Curry Hook" is a great idea - why don't all cars have that?
Wife's 2010 Astra had one in the boot. Replacement Golf doesn't, not does my Avensis.
Funny that, as an 18yr old I can recall driving my parents' 2CV across a stubble field, at night, the roof rolled back and three mates standing up with shotguns blasting away at rabbits caught in the headlights.
Yeah, that sounds more amusing than trying to get across the South Circular and wondering if you'll make it before the lights turn.
My first company car a 2CV, absolutely loved it.. and I'm on the search for an original 89' era one now... most have a Galvanised chassis, and the inevitable boot floor repair.... 😀
mk1 Prius should be up there too. I'd commend it on attempting to save the world but to be honest, I'd rather planet earth died a few years earlier than ever having to travel in one of those ever again. Same could be said about most modern Toyotas I guess.
Mk1 Prius was awesome. We had one at work as a demo of the future. Work was several large roundabouts off the A14. On anything other than bone dry warm Tarmac it would perform a lovely controllable 4 wheel drift at the slightest provocation. The early ones had comically narrow energy saving tyres and a whacking heavy battery right in the middle. They 'fixed' this fault by fitting proper tyres. Shame.
Mk1 Prius was not much more than a test bed for hybrid tech I reckon. And it was mostly sold in America where there were few diesels and there was a market for an eco-box.
So as a car it was undoubtedly shite, but it did kick-start a pretty big technological shift, didn't it? Without the MkI there'd have been no MkII and that sold millions, reset Americans' expectations of fuel economy, created a demand, and forced other manufacturers to follow. Toyota did that on their tod, fair play to them.
I'd say the crappiest I've owned was a late model metro. Whilst it was better than the mini-metro, it was still fairly shit and taught me a lot about roadside repairs.
Had an old high mileage rover 214si though and it was great. I'd have the same again if I was in a similar situation and there were still more about. Almost bought a 218 of similar vintage with the vvc engine but it was a doer upper and I have little time!
Metro
Hands up if you had the hydrogas suspension failure on the road and have to limp a jacked up Metro back to the garage?
I'm glad you said this, as I thought it was just me. Is there a reason for it? My first two cars, a Mk1 Fiesta and a Mk3 Escort did it, I'm sure I've had others over the years, and irritatingly I'm currently in a BMW 1-Series which also does it. In the Beemer I've to make a conscious effort to shift across into the middle of the seat or I end up with the seat edge digging into my shoulder blade.
It's a thing. Getting the steering to fit on RHD cars is a challenge and many corners often get cut. Also, you've got to account for the front wheels and footwells and a transmission tunnel.
Vauxhalls seem to have an issue here. I drove a late model Zafira and noted that the wheel was still offset. I had the dreaded backache within twenty miles and I had to drive the hateful, sodding thing to Ayr from the south-eastern tip of England.
Hands up if you had the hydrogas suspension failure on the road and have to limp a jacked up Metro back to the garage?
Yes, amusingly enough with a larger lady on the side that went. I remember my dad's going at the back once, too - he thought it was me and my brothers pissing about at first - though how we'd manage on the move to piss about and make the suspension collapse I really don't know! ("interesting fact" early metros were linked across axles, later models diagonally)
It's a thing. Getting the steering to fit on RHD cars is a challenge and many corners often get cut. Also, you've got to account for the front wheels and footwells and a transmission tunnel.Vauxhalls seem to have an issue here. I drove a late model Zafira and noted that the wheel was still offset. I had the dreaded backache within twenty miles and I had to drive the hateful, sodding thing to Ayr from the south-eastern tip of England.
Ah I remember the Metro's steering wheel was off-centre - but then feeling better about it when I noticed Nova steering wheels were off-centre AND didn't face forwards.
"curry hook" in the passenger footwell
So that's what that's for! Only had my car 8 years, and always wondered!
As somebody said, it's all about expectations. My second car was a Triumph Dolomite, bought from an elderly lady whose husband had died. It was immaculate with very low mileage for it's age, wood dashboard and door caps, green tinted windows, lots of chrome trim, vinyl roof trim and velour upholstery. And it had a clock. That thing would really shift - I've never seen anything so fast. The clock, I mean, the car struggled to do 90 despite a twin carb 1850 engine and overdrive. The overdrive would pop out whenever it felt like it. I didn't keep the car long as my local mechanic told me about warped heads. I also discovered that the doors had been filled and resprayed (very professionally, but these things soon come back).
My next car was a Renault 4 which was an absolute hoot and the only car I've ever made a profit on. I was told that it was possible to replace the floor and to do that the car would be turned upside down. I'm not sure if that is true, but I like to think so. Certainly the Haynes manual told you how to decoke it with a sponge and some water.
My favourite crap car was my F reg Renault 5 Campus, all 997 cc's and 106,000 miles on the clock of it.
Once I'd sorted out the vacuum advance on the throttle it went like a little rocket and the turning circle was so tight it almost folded itself in half.
There was nothing you couldn't fix with a screwdriver & hammer and I could get 2 MTB's in the boot.
The only problem was that the A pillars rotted away, along with the bottom of the doors, but other than that it was indestructible.
I still miss that car, it was great fun.
Same could be said about most modern Toyotas I guess.
Certainly any modern Toyota where the handbrake is operated by a switch under the dashboard about halfway down your shin. The sort of place most manufacturers would put the bonnet release.
Certainly any modern Toyota where the handbrake is operated by a switch under the dashboard about halfway down your shin. The sort of place most manufacturers would put the bonnet release.
I have just got a Volvo XC60 with a manual gearbox and its the same thing - a weird handbrake hidden away where you'd expect to find the bonnet release. And the annoying thing is that whilst it auto releases, it doesn't auto engage. I know it is only a matter of time before we leave it without the handbrake on and it rolls away (last car had auto on + it was and auto box which had to be in park before you could switch the engine off).
My parents had some rotters (literally). Winner of the worst was a close result between a Metro and a Peugeot 104.
The Metro had all the problems they all had. Also no intermittent wipe and a crappy 4 speed gearbox. The memory of driving along with the puny engine thrashing away at 4000rpm and flicking the wiper switch every few seconds makes my teeth grind to this day. I still can't believe they chose it over a nice mk ii golf they were considering at the time.
The 104 takes the biscuit though. The gearbox took a hefty shove to get into any gear. The engine was tilted so far back that changing the spark plugs could only be done by someone with orang-utan arms. But the crowning glory was a heater that made the entire car smell of curry. What a heap.
a heater that made the entire car smell of curry
I'd pay for that as an optional extra 🙂
Did you buy the 104 off a doctor from Sunderland?
Was it white and constantly steamed up irrespective of what setting as applied to the heater?
If so, could be the very one that I used to get a lift to primary school in, in the passenger footwell!
Anything, simply anything by Ford or Vauxhall currently. They are all built to an exacting budget, and look and feel like that whatever you are in.
Can't agree on the Ford side. Having viewed most of the options our Kuga is as good as most and better than many of it's rivals. Liked the Focus we had before it too. Our BMW is another level but then that's why they cost more.
Vauxhall on the other hand............
Every ford I have driven in the last 5 years has met or exceeded my expectations, every Vauxhall has been so dull that I feel depressed before I even get in.
Certainly any modern Toyota where the handbrake is operated by a switch under the dashboard about halfway down your shin.
Surely that is simply a foot operated parking brake? We have one of those, very easy to use.
Or do you mean an electrical button?
My first car was a Lada - other than it would sometimes ferry me about quicker than cycling, it was awful.
