[Closed] work skivers

You answered your own question. He gets other mugs (i.e. you) to do his work

it's what dilbert is for (your man is a pro)

http://dilbert.com/strip/2013-08-21

edit: hmm, the irony, I'm 'working' 🙂

Dear Boss,

please can I be released from 50% of my current work as Fred is so busy with projects he is having to pass his own work to me.

Love and Kisses,

Veedub

You should have plenty of time to help him use the printer then. Remember to always walk around with a folder full of papers in your hand.

Fred seems like a smart guy; showing a refreshing display of initiative and standing head and shoulders above the drones. I'd like to offer Fred a job. £80,0000 PA + benefits, hours to suit.

Remember to always walk around with a folder full of papers in your hand.

Correct, and always walk fast as busy people walk faster than non busy people.

It always amazes me how apparently smart bosses seem to miss what everyone else in the office has noticed - that x is a) incompetent and b) does no work

I guess they're smart about psychology, they know how to manipulate their boss in such a way that the boss doesn't spot it.

IME they tend to get found out eventually when their time comes to an end and they try and find another job. In the meantime, they know they're having to play games to disguise the fact they're incompetent and don't actually know how it feels to do a good day's work which, in fact, is one of life's more satisfying moments...

You need a Terry Tate patrolling...

Do we share an office OP? 😳

im loving the OPs use of stw to complain about people skiving in work

In fairness op, you seem to be quite food at it yourself.....

edit: what ^ said

im loving the OPs use of stw to complain about people skiving in work

1+ for that, oh the irony .... and given he's a Dubber, from my experience, he's proabaly posting similar on the very busy Dub forums too ... Haha!

[edit - on my lunch break at the moment]

I do this all day too!!! BOOM! 😆

Veedub, a question: Is "Fred", to your knowledge, in any way related to "Boss"?

I'm on my lunch hour!

you get a hour for lunch? luxury

Do you do the same job?

There are people at our work who think I'm slack and always 'talking' to people. If I travel anywhere for work its a 'holiday' or a 'jolly'

They also have no idea how problems they and customers have seem to magically get solved without them doing anything...

He passed a customer problem on to me. When I found this out I said under my breath 'Thanks (name of person, let's call him Fred)' to which my boss said 'Fred is very busy at the moment that's why it's been passed on to you'

Careful now, if you say Fred three times in the same paragraph when the moon is in the right phase he reappears.

It could be that your manager is a bit of a wimp and doesn't want to address it.

[i]I'm on my lunch hour![/i]

We won't be hearing from the OP until his next break then or until he finishes for the day.

Fred may need the time for "networking" and "strategic thinking". If you are just a "grafter" you may not grasp this 😉

I think Fred has got it sussed....

I bet Fred doesn't have time to run 2 STW accounts. 😆

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jun/05/is-shirking-smarter-way-of-working-oliver-burkeman

Drac - Moderator
I bet Fred doesn't have time to run 2 STW accounts.

It's amazing what line managers fail to notice. In my last job one of my colleagues worked 12 hours a day and came into the office at weekends to work. They would frequently burst into tears about how hard and terrible it was, we'd have to pick up work for them and we'd get in trouble for not being supportive enough in taking on work for them and not working as hard as they were. Deadlines were extended and project budgets broken as they had to spend so much time working.

Thing is, they weren't working in the evenings and weekends, but having a nice sticky affair with someone from the floor upstairs. I remember staying in late one evening just to be there to offer moral support, before I knew it was actually an affair, I must have been ruining their evening... I almost told the boss about it several times, but with both parties having young families, I thought it might cause more damage than good. Really bad situation though. In your situation OP I would be saying something though.

[quote=Drac ]I bet Fred doesn't have time to run 2 STW accounts.

Given what you're presumably basing that inference on, and the way corporate IT sometimes works, maybe Fred only has one STW account, just like the OP...

Maybe he's read this... [url= http://fourhourworkweek.com ]http://fourhourworkweek.com[/url]

Is this him?

Je suis Fred

Is this Fred?

[img] [/img]

I do hope the OP manages to get Fred's customer report finished in time. Fingers crossed!

Given what you're presumably basing that inference on, and the way corporate IT sometimes works, maybe Fred only has one STW account, just like the OP...

Is the wrong answer.

I once got told in a performance review that I had to try and look busier. Line manager had absolutely no problems with the work I was doing, was meeting all targets and had stats to prove it etc., but others had commented that I didn't look very busy so could I try and work on appearing to be busy as well as doing work!

Maybe that's Fred's problem?

I got done for gross misconduct for having STW open at work for 4.5 hours a day. They were convinced I was using it for all that time.

They would have sacked me if I hadn't been the second most productive guy in the country. (Most productive guy was an in-work eBay addict!)

The manager in the disciplinary admitted that they had no way of monitoring smart phone usage for skivers. A nod's as good a s wink to a blind man! 😆

remember to huff and puff a lot, and do the head wipe people do while staring at a computer screen

or as the cow at my work does, keep mentioning how you worked extra at the weekend and then go and lock yourself in a room to get some peace.......she does chaff all

Corporate life is very simple: it's all about trying to get someone else to do the work.

Fortunately there are enough mugs not to recognise this and so they do all the work and then only complain about it afterwards.

And so it goes on.

Surely the aim of being productive is to get the minimum necessary done with the least effort? Doing any more is just a waste of effort.

We've got one in our office. She does bugger all of any use. Cocks up whatever she does get given so that someone else has to re-do it. Then spends hours gassing about all sorts of irrelevant tripe. This is all punctuated by unnecessarily loud and aggressive phone calls to chase up invoices and debts, most of which are trivial amounts. She puts a bloody headset on for her haranguing calls, so she can sit back and broadcast it to the entire office. After she has finished this act, she then recounts the whole thing chapter and verse for our benefit.

The really annoying thing is, my team and another are flat out with work. Our senior will glare at any of us if we chat or spend one extra minute at lunch, but this woman carries on like this and no one says anything.

She actually requested the email address of a company CEO the other day when making the first phone call to them about a debt of 200 odd quid. The call started out fine, but she just picked a totally unnecessary fight. She also feigns surprise when one of her regular victims just hangs up on her because life is too short to put up with the weekly ear bashing.

I put it all down to bluff and bluster. Appearing to be 'proactive' over trivial and easy stuff, whilst avoiding any real work.

It's the total lack of recognition of this by senior people that just amazes me.

The manager in the disciplinary admitted that they had no way of monitoring smart phone usage for skivers. A nod's as good a s wink to a blind man!

So OP, what are you doing to sort this skiver out? Or are you going to blame everyone but you for his skiving?

The more you do the less you get thought of, skivers always survive somehow, worked with one bo
ne idle jhust walked round all day, not doing anything of value, a manager would walk in and he was like a duracell rabbit on speed, couldnt move and do things fast enough, how we used to laugh, silly man he was.

I think being more of a yes person and quite loud is more important than what you do, ime.