[Closed] Wife is Pregnant but doesn't want her friends to know yet and has a hen weekend!

get her to buy all the drinks, then she can order coke and tell them its something else and coke, could be expensive though!

or can she be the designated driver?

Tell them she is on anti-biotics which prevent her from drinking alcohol. She can explain the red face ny not wanting them to know the type of, err, infection 😳

Claim to be on antibiotics. Metronidazole makes you really ill if you drink alcohol. Used for dental infections, pelvic inflammatory disease, leg ulcers amongst other things.

Don't go?

Why not just tell the truth? Or is it something you are both ashamed of?

Also about 11 months ago we were on a night out and her friend didn't drink and straight away everyone suspected it and a month ago she gave birth.

maths fail.

Or is it something you are both ashamed of?

Any suggestions (funny and practical please) on how to get round this?

Pray for forgiveness

Oh, hold on, it's not her hen night??

Antibiotics. She can tell people she's on metronidazole for an infection or something like that.

Someone will guess anyway, though, I guarantee it, so I'd suggest she'd be better off not bothering and just coming clean.

Yeah Maths fail!

Its not her hen night its her best mates so can't really not go. I thought about the DND thing which would work but I am sure they will say she can have a few then just stop early.

Don't want to tell friends and family yet as risk of stuff going wrong is the first three months is high so would rather just be sure.

As for being ashamed, hell no! I now know everything works down there and I might be the father of the next Gee Atherton or Victoria Pendleton!

Why not just tell the truth? Or is it something you are both ashamed of?

In case you're unaware, most people don't tell anyone for the first couple of months as things can go wrong easily at that stage and they don't want to get into it with people if it fails.

However my experience here is that women spot it instantly.

I fully expect her mates to quiz her and guess it would just be nice if she at least had a good excuse so it wasn't blatantly obvious.

When we found out her mate was pregnant there was a lot of 'ha told you so' from most of them!

Oh and STW you lot are the first to know bar me, the Mrs and the Doc! Strange old world!

Also about 11 months ago we were on a night out and her friend didn't drink and straight away everyone suspected it and a month ago she gave birth.

10 month pregnancy?

40 weeks standard plus 2 weeks late = almost 10th months.

antibiotics fwiw though usually people cotton on.

She can cry off and just blame it on several instances where she's felt ill in the mornings; she wants to go but she may be contagious.

She needs an ultimate excuse to get out of the whole thing, avoiding even going on the hen night, something that won't dare get questions asked directly of her by her friends. How about this, your constant demands on her for botty sex, causing an infection, seems like a goer, you only have to suffer the gossip for a few more weeks as the tummy bump will become evident soon enough. Any excuse more lame than that, she'll fall apart at the first inquisitive remark. Chances are, no one will ask her if it's really embarrassing. Go for an ultimate lie or forget it.

She's discovered Throwdown and gone Straight Edge?

😯

haha... botty sex. never heard it called that before..

MotherTFU.

I have nothing constructive to add, but just wanted to say congratulations.

Naive to think the antibiotics thing will work, it's the oldest one in the book. My wife got rumbled at about 6 weeks.

tell them she has just signed up to alcoholics anonymous 😀

We found out my wife is pregnant a week ago

a month ago she gave birth.

Is that even possible? Sheesh - give her a rest!

Become Muslim? Would solve what to wear too.
Methodism?
Just come clean to them on the night - or to closest friends at least.
And congrats

I think the important thing here is not that they know, but that they know she doesn't want them to know.

Go with the antibiotics and a cheeky wink and her friends will respect her wishes and leave it at that no questions asked.

tell them she has just signed up to alcoholics anonymous

clear winner 🙂

as mentioned the antibiotics one is a give away. When my wife was and we had a friends leaving party I just made sure I always got her drink filled with just tonic rather than the usual g n t. No one suspected a thing. she would need to confide in one of the hens tho.

Congrats!

The same excuse as for a day off work with a slight twist: "I drank half a bottle of red last night with some prawns, spent half the night throwing up and I still feel fragile. I'll never touch pallela and cheap Spanish red again". Or something to that effect.

Madame didn't tell anyone for three months rather than go through the trauma of letting people know if she miscarried.

A lot of pregnancies can be 10 months long ie 40/42 weeks or even a little longer. 9 months comes from something to do with lunar moons or something weird. If I was your wife I would enlist the help of a fellow hen, she must be close to someone there if she is going. Buy her own drinks if she can, sip on any boozey ones, slip off to the loo and tip it away, after 4 drinks hit the 'god I've had waaaay too much , water for me from now on'. Alternatively feign having the craps just before leaving, get lots of sympathy before they hit the town, that way everyone will just be pleased she's managed to come out and won't mind if she doesn't fancy a drink. HTH

But pregnancies aren't really that long because they count 2 weeks before conception. 2 weeks after conception you're 4 weeks pregnant by traditional counting methods

Women aren't stupid you know (just good looking) they will figure it out, there is no plausible excuse for not drinking on a hen night. if she has a bloke and is obviously the correct age.

She shouldn't lie to her friends, it is bad, just has to say she doesn't feel like drinking just now.

Ok, I know its all IMO etc but... I really can't understand why people dont just tell folk when they are having a baby. Ok, the risk of some thing going wrong in the first 3 months may be higher but for the majority of people nothing does go wrong, and whats to stop things going wrong after 3 months?? IMO alot of it is almost tradition that you 'keep it to yourselves' for 3 months before letting people know.

Edit - OK perhaps I should re phrase this, as it could appear a bit harsh as miscarriage rates are about 1 in 5 but certainly I still think its better to let people know.

Heaven for bid some thing were to go wrong, I would welcome support from friends and family, and I would be very surprised if they didnt work it out anyhow.

As to Hen do. Surely there is greater risk by not telling folk than by telling folk? Her mates will probably encourage her to drink, might have booked her a 'surprise' parachute jump etc etc. What happens if she is involved in an accident and no one knows she is preggers?

When Mrs FD got preggers we told everyone within the first week of finding out ourselves. At work she deals with X-Rays so had to stop that, and we just couldnt be bothered with the whole keeping it secret thing as quite frankly we didnt see what it acheived.

However my experience here is that women spot it instantly.

This.

Even moreso if she's a shit liar. Mrs deadly had an early term miscarriage 🙁 We decided after that to tell close friends if it happens again...stops all the messing around. People that don't need to know just don't need to know until they see a big bump.

Women aren't stupid you know

What?? Really??

Isn't that worthy of a thread topic all in itself?

Anytime any lady is not drinking without being the driver pregnancy is assumed... surely?

Being honest and saying why will be fine. It does raise expectations and having experienced 3 miscarriages I know how rotten it feels if the worst happens and how hard it can be to have to field peoples cheery questions about how its going. But I reckon your wife will have a much better time if she doesn't have to lie and everyone knows how she feels and why. This is a very common worry for people to have.

Me and my wife went to a friends wedding and my wife wasn't drinking as she was 2 months pregnant. She said that she'd been having a really bad upset stomach and that alcohol seemed to make it worse and was trying to be good.

But a hen party is another ball game! Tricking your friends into thinking you are drinking with them never works well and if they then find out the real reason its even worse.

Got to go with the AntiBio's story..

Privacy (herumph, letting go on here was a huge mistake, hahaha) is in the eye of the beholder.
If, if, she's careful the story will work, if not then come clean, either way it'll give the hen's something to gas all night about, which of course they will and inevitably come up with thier own conclusions despite the story.

Congratulations BTW, great news, you should both be very proud.

totally agree with funkyduc - we told our close friends as soon as we knew, it was them that we woudl need if somethign was to go wrong. I completely don't understand keeping it a secret for 3 months. It is far to exciting a enws to keep it to your self, i wanted to tell everyone who would listen!

congratultions to you both.

This thread says a lot about the peer pressure to drink in Britain. It was something I was uncomfortable with when I lived there and feel much happier in countries where you aren't seen as some kind of unworthy traitor if you drink in moderation or stick to soft drinks on a night out.

TSY

No, not all women who don't drink on hen nights, but those of the right age who married fairly recently... well...it's not exactly a leap is it...

And some women just pretend to be stupid sometimes to manipulate blokes like you. Seems to be working. I consider it traitorous to my gender, but whatever gets the rent paid.

hels - I suppose if I'm out drinking then the women that are out are WAG's and aged 30 or under. Most of them take their drinking seriously so the 'antibiotics' thing never washes.

Also - I'm way too clever to be manipulated by a stupid women... BRB, I've got to make a coffee for someone.

I really can't understand why people dont just tell folk when they are having a baby

Because everyone goes nuts and fusses like mad, which is annoying, and then if you miscarry everyone fusses like mad also. It's a pain in the balls/ovaries to be honest. Better to save dealing with the fuss til it's absolutely unavoidable!

If you're going for the antibiotics excuse, start building the lie now. Make mention of the fact she's feeling a bit ill so it doesn't come as a surprise on the night.

How about she starts training for the Olympics and doesn't want to setback her training?

Congratulations!

Hope everything goes well ❗

Ok, I know its all IMO etc but... I really can't understand why people dont just tell folk when they are having a baby. Ok, the risk of some thing going wrong in the first 3 months may be higher but for the majority of people nothing does go wrong, and whats to stop things going wrong after 3 months?? IMO alot of it is almost tradition that you 'keep it to yourselves' for 3 months before letting people know.

Edit - OK perhaps I should re phrase this, as it could appear a bit harsh as miscarriage rates are about 1 in 5 but certainly I still think its better to let people know.

Heaven for bid some thing were to go wrong, I would welcome support from friends and family, and I would be very surprised if they didnt work it out anyhow.

As to Hen do. Surely there is greater risk by not telling folk than by telling folk? Her mates will probably encourage her to drink, might have booked her a 'surprise' parachute jump etc etc. What happens if she is involved in an accident and no one knows she is preggers?

When Mrs FD got preggers we told everyone within the first week of finding out ourselves. At work she deals with X-Rays so had to stop that, and we just couldnt be bothered with the whole keeping it secret thing as quite frankly we didnt see what it acheived.

If you've been through it you'll know that having everyone ask how your mrs is getting on only to have to tell them that things haven't worked out is a complete head melt. Much easier to get the 12 week scan out of the way and go from there, rate is 1 in 4 in most areas so more common than most people realise