[Closed] Why have children and then send them to boarding school ?

Quite right, children are not just for Christmas 🙂

When you've got an Audi, then what else is there to bray about?

Because every family is different and every town and the opportunities it offers is different.

I was sent to one at 10. Hated it.

By the time i was 11 i didn't want to go home. Loved it.

Best 7 years of my life.

For better education? Value for money?

In other countries teachers moonlight by teaching half of what they are supposed to teach then ask the students to pay for private tuition ... The result some of these teachers earn more than your average general manager.

So if going to boarding school means you are "guaranteed" to get good results why bother with those private tuition?

to train them to be bankers and politicians, subjects the local comprehensive school does have on the timetable.

Get a copy of the film "IF", and see what really goes on in them, a great docu soap. 😯

Also some people just see kids as token items of worth, something to parade round , like a company car, large name plate on office door,large house.But only want the kids at christmas, when theyre babies and for birthdays it seems of a large number of people, the way they ignore the kids feelings for a lot of the time.

I'd be bereft.

Who would empty the dishwasher?
Prep the veg?
Hoover?
Do the cleaning?
8)

Project, the chip on your shoulder must be MASSIVE! Such utter, blinkered ignorance!

because you're a shoddy parent and want to offload the chore of raising them 😀

I was about to post that. But then i don't have a chip on my shoulder about being given a well balanced and reasoned education so i didn't.

Each to their own view - just re-affirms that there is different choices to be made for different people.

If it's any help project, my parents owned a Talbot Horizon and a Nissan Sunny and we only paid 10% of the fees as we were means tested etc.

You new to Britain? It's boot camp for the Rich, royal and aristo****s. There's still a lot of employers that won't touch you unless you've been to hog warts.

In my case because my dad was at sea for much of the year and my mum had two younger children to raise. Plus the education was excellent, though I've forgotten most of my Latin. I went at 8yrs and it was a positive experience, especially the tree-climbing and bike-riding.

I know a lot of you may not understand, but some parents may think it's the best way to get a good education for your children. It may not be but if you did, and you could afford it, why not?

Nearly 40 kids per class in the local state school. Never more than 15 in a class at my school.

I enjoyed a huge variety of experiences and knowledge. I was practically a full time sportsman.

Braying rights for my parents? Hardly - they were skint. Full scholarship waived all fees.

[devil's advocate] because you're a [s]shoddy[/s]parent aware of you're own short comings and want to give the proffesionals a chance[s]offload the chore[/s] of raising them [/devil's advocate]

They only do it so people can judge them.....

Many reasons, most of the kids who survived the 1st semester at Uni best in my halls had been to boarding school for a number of reasons.

Project, the chip on your shoulder must be MASSIVE! Such utter, blinkered ignorance!

I could not even think about sending my daughter and son away for education.

My job entails a certain amount of travel, domestic and international, and I find that:

1 night away, no problem.
2 nights away, OK...
3 nights away, start getting a little twitchy
4 nights away +, rather not

There is nothing better than coming home, after a hard day, to the noise and bustle of the family. No it's not all roses and there are arguments but it's all part of family life. I love my children and relish every minute in their company.

I didn't have children to abdicate the responsibility for their upbringing to someone else.

I know quite a number of people who went to boarding school. I have to be totally honest and say that not one of them is genuinely well adjusted to anything other than the narrow strata of society that they knew at school. I'm talking about perhaps 10 people I know.

I have two little lads. The thought of sending them away for 9 months of the year at age 11 (or younger) seems to me to be unspeakably cruel. There aren't really real educational justifications for it, it's more like a tradition that people assume must be good because its relatively exclusive. A bit like circumcision perhaps.

The thought of sending them away for 9 months of the year at age 11 (or younger) seems to be to be unspeakably cruel.

Agreed.

My friends kids went to boarding school. In their case it was because their father was in the military and moved around a fair bit, it gave them a stable educational environment.

For what its worth they seem like nice kids too.

yossarian

A bit like circumcision perhaps.

you're a cut above the rest ! 😉

I dunno if it's cruel to the kids involved but I can't imagine missing so much of my daughters childhood.

Neither of the two schools I went to that had boarders when I went have them now. Seems to me that less parents want to send their kids away. My Grandfather, who went to Harrow, thought it terrible for an kid to be a day boy - they were considered 2nd rate; this was around the beginning of the last century though!

...okay Im glad that other people feel how I do, being woken up every morning at 5.45am for the last 5 years...wouldn't change it for the world...

No guarantee of a good education if you go to public school but perhaps a better chance of achieving one, a lot of my friends went to public school and have been very successful. My son however goes to a secondary school and has applied himself and been selected to go on a Oxford/Cambridge workshop and he's very excited, his school gets better results than the Public school down the road.

[quote=mudshark ]Neither of the two schools I went to that had boarders when I went have them now. Seems to me that [s]less[/s][b]fewer[/b] parents want to send their kids away.
Let no one say it's done in search of a better education 😉

5.45? My eldest is up at 5 on the bloody dot. 🙂

Cannot, CANNOT imagine him and his little brother not being with us for 3/4 of the year. Makes me sad just thinking about it. I genuinely don't understand how parents today can conclude that it's the thing to do.

I saw loads of my parents at school - with at least two sports matches a week the touchline of the ruby pitches (home and away) were always lined with supportive mums and dads. So too the regular orchestra recitals, plays, exhibitions and other events.

[quote=ourmaninthenorth ]the touchline of the ruby pitches
See - we had to make do with grass

It ain't the same OMITN, not even close.

A friend of mine [ a teacher] says it is because they are rich enough to not be prosecuted for child neglect. Does seem an abdication of a large portion of your parenting duties tbh.
My own view is more like druidh's.

Our man - they were close enough to attend all school events but to far away for them to live with them?

unspeakably cruel

child neglect

Seriously?

😐

Grandfather was in FCO so worked in embassies all over. Mother and uncle did 4 years of school in Cairo and the rest in boarding school.

Sounds like it was far more interesting than my bog standard modern comprehensive.

Never said i agreed flashy but can you not see why some folk think they have not actually lived up to the role of being a parent?

I genuinely don't understand how parents today can conclude that it's the thing to do.

As above lots of families moving round with the military etc - should their kids change school every couple of years?
Not saying either way if it's good or bad but also saying people have their reasons some good some bad. In the end of the day your preaching to a safe audience in here of Public School = Tory Toff types 🙂

As once said before you criticise you should walk a mile in their shoes then at least your a mile away when you tell them...

Sorry Flashy but yes, cruel. My lads have grown up with their family at the centre of their lives. To strip that away whilst they are still children, not even adolescents, seems like cruelty to me.

You've just become a dad right? Imagine sending your child away at age 11. How does it feel?

Edit: despite a few attempts by others to turn this into a proper argument, I'm not up for a fight. Genuinely puzzled as I said earlier.

My father was the 1st in our family not to send his kids away - couldn't afford it but doubt he would have anyway, my Mum wouldn't have allowed it anyway. Serves him right for marrying someone from the middle class...!

Happy to have found the place that is raising the future cleaners, nursery nurses, fast food workers and petrol station attendants

Many parents send new babies away to nursery from 7am-6pm 5 days a week until they reach school age.
So I guess boarding school is just a step up.

I went to boarding school because the local schools were going through major reorganisation, and it was a mess. I'm the 5th of 6 kids (and clever enough to go to Uni - neither of my folks had that chance) and my mum was suffering from what, at the time, was called a nervous breakdown. She wept as they dropped me off. It was a selective Grammar School, not independent, so the actual education was state/free. Many of the other boarders were the children of soldiers/airmen, who just wanted some stability for their kids, while they were posted to Germany/Belfast/Crete etc.
It's easy to be judgemental, but some boarding schools really are necessary/best option for kids. Did me no harm - and while my folks beat themselves up over sending me, as a parent I can fully understand why they did it.

Sorry Flashy but yes, cruel.

You'd be surprised that not many of the children or parents actually feel like that.

[quote=restless ]Many parents send new babies away to nursery from 7am-6pm 5 days a week until they reach school age.
Do they?

As once said before you criticise you should walk a mile in their shoes then at least your a mile away when you tell them...

And you've got their shoes 🙂

I know several people who went to boarding school. My parents were expats in Lagos for a few years when I was 10-13 and I was the only Brit kid of that age in the country as the rest were all boarding as that was the done thing. My family are French and just couldn't go with that as it's considered a very weird British thing connected with stiff upper lip...

So that's the background. I would never send my kids to boarding school as I'd just miss them too much and I think it breaks down close family bonds.

That said I do know people who I genuinely believe loved their boarding school days. Admittedly they do seem to have fairly distant relationships with their family though I don't know if that came before or after they started boarding.

I have never had a real insight into the world of fortune, but the older I get the more I feel I would of benefited from a better education & perhaps a better understanding of discipline.

That is all.