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The wean brought home the results of his cookery lesson (felafel) today, saying it was minging. His brother and I agreed. Last week it was some weird cheesecake consisting mainly of crushed digestive biscuits. That went in the bin too.
When his teacher thought..... what can I get the kids to cook that will inspire them and make them realise that home cooked food is amazing and give them a life long love of cooking; how the **** could he come up with cheesecake and felafel? I mean WTF. How many kids in your average comp even know that felafel and cheesecake are even food? What a waste of time.
Then his brother's Spanish lessons..... when we did the WHW together we kept bumping into this Spanish couple who, on learning that my son was learning Spanish, tried to engage him in some simple conversations. They failed dismally. All I can recall from him revising Spanish earlier that year was "una goma". "saca de puntas " etc etc.
Picture the scene...... the teacher has been charged with working out what phrases/words will be of most value to the kids. What will inspire them and give them that head start speaking to foreigners and help them decide to continue to try to learn a foreign language despite the fact that the rest of the world generally speaks such good English. What can he do to make it all worthwhile....
a restaurant.... a cycling trips..... buying something in a shop..... meeting a lovely lady...
No, he looks around his classroom, and sees a rubber, a pencil case, a ruler...
What sort of raving ****ing imbecile decides that these are useful words for a kid to learn for everyday life.....
Plenty of teaching jobs available if you think you can do better .
It's falafel.
So one can’t cook and the other failed Spanish then ?
(Joke)
It’s falafel.
FFS dont start him off on English teachers too!!!
How many kids in your average comp even know that felafel and cheesecake are even food?
Presumably a whole class of them do now.
Cheesecake is pretty common isnt it?
OK boomer 😉
I guess falafels are not general enough for the minigeneralists..😎
good responses 🙂
So one can’t cook
au contraire (see what I did there)
the other failed Spanish then
Nah, I think he got a nine in that like he did most subjects, but he still can't order a pint, get someone to fix his bike or converse with Jonny Foreigner on the west highland way J
How many kids in your average comp even know that felafel and cheesecake are even food?
Presumably a whole class of them do now.
Well sort of. They know that they are theoretically food. But they are very unlikely to see them as edible food that might tempt them off their usual diet of prefab junk and sweets. They could have cooked something awesome that the kids like and that they might remember and cook again. The sort of stuff that my kids make on a regular basis.... pasta, pizza, apple cake, chocolate brownies, apple crumble, JFC, koftas, burgers, soup,
I see your point about Spanish, but there’s no need to get worked up about the after school cookery club, just let him come home or choose something else.
talking of prefab junk food, those Stellas went down a treat, hic.
I guess if I was going to listen to my own sanctimonious preaching I should be brewing my own goddamn beer 🙂
Or get the kids to do it...
You need to bare in mind the amount of time they have to teach the kids in, and that it’s not a one on one session.
My wife is teaches food at a secondary school, and she will tell you what can be just about achieved in a double period, even fairly simple things like a chicken Kiev, that would take you or me half an hour or there abouts, takes a class of 23 nearly the entire lesson. Theory, knife skill, safety talk, preparation, actual cooking, cleaning up. It’s really not as simple as you might think.
Also you need to understand that there is a very distinct possibility that the food teacher isn’t a specialist, given that schools are no longer required to teach it. My wife is a resistant materials teacher (that’s wood work for those boomers that don’t know what that means)
WTF makes falafel and cheesecake not even food when you're quite happy for them to make apple crumble and koftas?
My lad (6) went on a school trip this week to make pizza at Pizza Express. I feel there might have been slightly better uses of his time, but he enjoyed himself.
I just can’t believe god and Christianity is part of the curriculum for five year olds. Had a conversation about it last night at parents evening. Just seems utterly bizarre in this day and age.
With all the effort going into raising attainment in schools, I do wonder why secondary schools resolutely stick to such arbitrary time periods for lessons.
Learning doesn't fit into a 45 minute box.
And OP, volunteer in your kids school for a few days. Then come back and tell us about it.
(Matt, ex secondary teacher and education consultant with huge respect for anyone sticking it out in the classroom)
I just can’t believe god and Christianity is part of the curriculum for five year olds
I'm ok with religion being taught in schools if they cover all religions and taught that it is about belief. What bothers me is that it appears that Christianity seems to be taught as 'fact' with everything else getting very minimal coverage. I was less than impressed to find out they did the lords prayer before lunch.
Op is Peter Kay’s dad and I claim my £5.
“Garlic bread!”
^ my sentiments exactly. Teach evolutionary theory first as the best evidence based system and then follow up when they’re older with as many creation myths as possible. It’s a waste of limited education time and we’re in the 21st century ffs.
"What bothers me is that it appears that Christianity seems to be taught as ‘fact’
Nonsense - not in any schools I've had experience with. Fact in the sense that 'there is a religion in the world called Christianity and its quite popular so perhaps you should know about it and how it relates to the country you live in' perhaps. Fact in the sense that its the word of god...really? I don't think so.
....unless of course you choose to send your children to a faith school but why would you do that unless you were a believer?
Since when was cheesecake esoteric? When I did cookery at school the most advanced we got was an investigation into how to best boil water (spoiler, it's not in the oven) and making chocolate Rice Krispies.
Religion is a thorny topic, but we've been here before and recently.
Fact in the sense that its the word of god…really? I don’t think so.
….unless of course you choose to send your children to a faith school but why would you do that unless you were a believer?
Five year olds aren’t well renowned for their strong grasp of facts. My son came home utterly confused and upset after being asked to draw what he thinks god looks like. Doesn’t attend a faith school. We weren’t the only slightly miffed parents.
but he still can’t order a pint,
Blooming heck, even I can do that*, and I’ve never studied Spanish, I did French at school, for a year, and I can barely remember much of that.
Heck, I struggle to remember words in English half the time, trying to converse in foreign is an ask too far!
*¿Dos Cuevas, por favor? (sp)
Digestive base cheesecake?
Okay, am I the only one not seeing a problem here? Crush up biscuits, slather mascarpone or philly mixed with sugar on top and some sort of fruity topping and fling it in the fridge to set. Job done.
As for falafel, they're fantastic. Sounds like far better cookery than we were ever taught which was the sum total of **** all.
Who decdes? IIRC all council run schools have a very tightly structured national curriculum but academy and other faux independent schools do not have to
Cheescake and falafel are hardly exotic foods. the spanish vocab sounds a bit odd for sure
*¿Dos Cuevas, por favor? (sp)
I was thinking as I read your post; "I can't order a pint in Spanish... But I can order two..." It would appear you have the same issue.
Aparently it Una cerveza, por favour?
Missed the lesson in upside down questionmarks
Cheese... cake? Cheese? In a cake? That sounds disgusting.
I agree, schools should be teaching kids proper cookery skills. How to make a pot noodle for example. Beans on toast once they hit yr10 maybe.
A buttery biscuit base?
Been a while since I was at school, but the Spanish learning sounds the same as my French and German.
From my perspective, the languages are taught to pass exams etc. A two week trip to France had a greater effect on my French language skills than 5 years of school.
The cookery stuff I imagine is up to the teacher, unless cheesecake is part of the GCSE.
Cheesecake and fellealfles (might have spelt wrong) are nice if made well.
You are just bitter because your son failed cookery aren't you.
And OP, volunteer in your kids school for a few days. Then come back and tell us about it.
My OH (a teacher) did and gave up....
What kid hasn’t heard of cheesecake until school?
“What bothers me is that it appears that Christianity seems to be taught as ‘fact’
Nonsense – not in any schools I’ve had experience with. Fact in the sense that ‘there is a religion in the world called Christianity and its quite popular so perhaps you should know about it and how it relates to the country you live in’ perhaps. Fact in the sense that its the word of god…really? I don’t think so.
….unless of course you choose to send your children to a faith school but why would you do that unless you were a believer?
Splitting hairs but perhaps not "Christianity" but children come away with the impression that there is a god (fact), not "there probably isn't but some people choose to believe in one and we can't really prove it either way."
It might seem like splitting hairs but it's not to me.
One is saying there are lots of religions and they mostly all have a god and it's the same and the other is saying people can make up sky fairies and we can respect their delusions.
Even weirder? My kid was discussing with his mate who goes to a Jewish school... and his impression from school was "if there is a god what would that god be like"
thegreatape, yesterday
Nonsense – not in any schools I’ve had experience with. Fact in the sense that ‘there is a religion in the world called Christianity and its quite popular so perhaps you should know about it and how it relates to the country you live in’ perhaps. Fact in the sense that its the word of god…really? I don’t think so.
….unless of course you choose to send your children to a faith school but why would you do that unless you were a believer?
Some teachers still teach Christianity as fact and other religions as "some people believe". (Primary school teacher this year, the school did apologise and say they would talk to the teacher), one of my highschool RE teachers did the same.
How many kids in your average comp even know that felafel and cheesecake are even food?
it's your responsibility to open their minds to different foods not their teachers. I think you need to up your parenting skills, maybe there's a class you could go to?
it’s your responsibility to open their minds to different foods not their teachers. I think you need to up your parenting skills, maybe there’s a class you could go to?
Not specific to food...this isn't as simple as that without undermining the teachers.
It's a balance between what a kid might say at school, be told at school and reality.
It's got easier now mine is in Yr 6 but having to correct lies from teachers then end up with "stop interfering"
We made cheesecake in "home economics" lessons in school when I was a kid using crushed digestives* and butter etc. Was one of the easier things to do and came out really well iirc. I haven't made one since mind but at least I know I could.
There;s a lot of pressure on kids (and teachers) these days, give them a break.
* what else are you supposed to use? It's a biscuit base.
this isn’t as simple as that without undermining the teachers....
but having to correct lies from teachers
teachers lie about the existence of cheesecake? OP specifically mentioned cheesecake and falafel and his kids lack of knowledge of them. I think a teacher wouldn't feel undermined if the pupil had tasted some food before learning how to make it.
Splitting hairs but perhaps not “Christianity” but children come away with the impression that there is a god (fact), not “there probably isn’t but some people choose to believe in one and we can’t really prove it either way.”
RE shouldn't be discussing the existence of God, that's absurd.
In our school (30 years ago) it was 'this is what Jews do, this is what Muslims do' etc and entirely neutral.
A good cheesecake these days is hard to find. An esoteric one harder still.
You need to bare in mind the amount of time they have to teach the kids
Ms Kucinska was bare in my mind, for the amount of time she had to teach us kids.
I think I can beat that OP...
Next week, daughter number one will be making...… wait for it...…. hot chocolate!
Yes that's right, hot water with cocoa powder mixed in and squirty crème on top. I shit you not.
what else are you supposed to use
Dunno, but it must've been a damn quick lesson. Mix, chuck in fridge. Consume in it's glorious smooth cheesy velnetyness. And only a quid!
I have fond memories of eating doctored cheesecake while watching Eraserhead.