[Closed] Where have all the manners gone?

It's all the fault of mobile phones

Evening. You can spot those who won't say thanks a mile away. I still hold the door etc though. If its a parent with children (bloke recently with circa 10yr olds) I said 'THANK you, manners don't cost you know'. They never reply back - probably embarrassment or 'whatever mate' attitude..

I'll still be polite though.

CaptainFlashheart - Member
Manners started to die out when gentlemen stopped wearing hats.

Bring back hats.

For most of this year I've been partially disabled and have been astonished at the number of people who have just let a door slam in my face, have almost knocked me over, or have made no effort to help when I've been struggling.

🙁

Just got back from taking Mrs MR to the local health centre to see her GP. Recently epileptic and stressed dog made it necessary I stayed in the car to tend, so I saw her quickly up the steps and to reception. She has a shoulder-sling fitted and requires an elbow crutch. On her return to the car she related quite sadly that a whole waiting room full of people watched her struggle to get through the door, and not one of them offered assistance.

Would a random room of people in the same town have behaved any differently in 1935?

Probably.

I'm so glad I don't ever need to use public transport!
I can't bring myself to let women drivers out at junctions anymore, I got fed up with letting them out and not getting a nod or wave of thanks. Sorry ladies if you can't show manners you can wait!

I like to get a run up before exiting a train perpendicular to the platform edge no exceptions I'll take anyone out.

I always try to walk on the road-side of the pavement if with a female companion

Good manners are a great asset to anyone, however it might be time to let that one go 😉

In 2015, it just seems to be slightly more "sexist" than it is "good manners"

went to see Bond last friday.

A couple in their late 20s sat down next to us and as the "how to behave in a cinema" instruction film came on the woman commented on the "[i]Please - no talking[/i]" bit of the film with "[i]that must be aimed at the Asians[/i]" and laughed - they were both Asian so no casual racism on their part.

This seemed quite an odd response under the circumstances... right up to the point the opening credits started rolling and they started talking very loudly, joking, texting, checking voicemail... after about an hour I asked the bloke to cut the chit chat because it was ruining the experience - got a mouthful in response from him and his Mrs and then had to put up with them deliberately talking even more loudly for the whole of the rest of the film.

I can't be bothered going to the cinema again - it's the same pretty much every time we go now - I don't get why people don't just wait and see it on iTunes at home if they don't actually want to watch the film, not least when they've paid extra to sit in the nice seats and make a night of it.

as a cyclist who uses a lot of SUSTRANS paths,quite a lot of great outdoors walkerists and some doggerists fail to acknowledge my cheery hello, etc, and strangely enough most teenagers always say thankyou or hello back

[quote=Malvern Rider ]She has a shoulder-sling fitted and requires an elbow crutch. On her return to the car she related quite sadly that a whole waiting room full of people watched her struggle to get through the door, and not one of them offered assistance.

This is a tricky one though. My instinct would be to get up and help, but experience suggests that many people who appear to need help value their independence even more and would rather struggle but do it all themselves.

I think on balance for somebody with issues which would make using a door particularly difficult I would get up, but not without a sense of worry that the person might not appreciate the help.

Just5minutes- next time pop out, explain nicely and they'll be moved.

I think it's down to the increasing infantilisation of society - and as anyone who has kids knows, they think they're

What I don't understand is being expected to give up your seat to a child on the tube/train? When I was small I stood up to let adults sit down, I want my payback now you little shits. 😈

With the doors thing I just say "thanks, no no I insist after you" if I get no acknowledgement, not expecting a thanks but a nod or slight smile costs nothing.

I had a Mexican standoff last weekend, both of us insisting 'no I insist, you first' 😆 I could see he had more steely-eyed determination so I relented.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Edit.

In general agreement. I used to love getting off the train with my folded brompton. It's a useful battering ram. Just5mins: that happened to a friend of mine. He stood up and shouted 'will you shut the fu<k up!' There followed complete silence for the rest of the film. It was a beautiful moment.

"I always try to walk on the road-side of the pavement if with a female companion"

I always do this with my wife and she really appreciates it. Nothing polite about it, it's just how a gentleman should conduct himself.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Really? IME on the aforementioned Jubilee line the East Europeans are all talking loudly and playing videos on their phones with the speakers on. Lack of manners is universal.

Last time I was in that London, I helped several ladies who were obviously struggling with large heavy cases. They looked proper stunned when I offered. (wish I hadn't as their cases were bloody heavy!)

Going back to manners, if I stand out of someone's way or hold a door open for them and I get no acknowledgement, I usually say rather loudly "YOU'RE WELCOME". Still get ignored, but at least I feel better!

Nothing polite about it, it's just how a gentleman should conduct himself

... In the 1840's

🙂

I've been working in London for four weeks now and I still don't understand why people run down the escalators to get to the trains. The trains come roughly every minute. What difference does it make?

And the next person who blatantly goes and stands in front of me on the platform when I'm virtually at the edge of it is going to get pushed into the tracks.

Oddly, I've founds that the buses in London are a far more civilised and relaxing place to be, so I'm sticking with them now during rush hour and only using the tube during the day to get to meetings.

Evening. Bensales, when I lived in Croydon people used to run down the sides of slamdoor trains and hang off the doors and fall daily. Madness as trains were every minute. It was almost like Godzilla was behind each person..

The last time I stood up on the tube to give my seat to an older person half the carriage looked away the other half looked at me as though I was weak. These Captains of industry in their Next suits and Dorothy Perkins dresses stating at the weak..

Good for you robdob, me too!

But a hypocrite today as left some rubbish on the train 😳 did feel bad about it though....

The only rudeness I feel day to day is from drivers - awareness of others seems to evaporate.

Day to day, I meet a few stroppy teens and kids, but that's not new.

Most folk I meet here are great, a few numpties around, but not many. Most of that is lack of awareness, not lacking manners.

apparently they went when buster bloodvessel left.
I see the same happens when you giving way to other cars. Must be a european thing and seeing as we are also in europe should we adopt the same approach.

The kids in schools are very polite and hold doors. Must be their oldies 🙂

In London, people are generally reserved, but they are not generally ill-mannered. The culture is to keep yourself to yourself, which I imagine is the case with all big cities.
It's a vicious cycle - if people act reserved to you, you are more likely to become reserved.
The worse behavior I see is on the roads, rather than public transport, more often than not an Audi driver for some odd reason (it used to be BMWs).
I generally find people friendlier and more open to a chat the further north I go.

Now I'm feeling like a massive sexist for mostly walking on the road side of the pavement.

Now I'm feeling like a massive sexist for mostly walking on the road side of the pavement.

I always thought it was just chivalry.

The problem with a lot of people nowdays is that they feel that their "rights" and "entitlement" come above those of others. We're all doomed! 🙂

I think on balance for somebody with issues which would make using a door particularly difficult I would get up, but not without a sense of worry that the person might not appreciate the help.

I know what you're saying. Mileages vary - I've always tended to offer first and worry later. One or two longfaces when you 'get it wrong' don't erase the countless smiling ones. For the years I was in a wheelchair I don't remember ever once feeling offended if someone offered help, ie if I'd dropped my bag or was struggling through doors etc.

Sometimes I'd be grateful and say 'thanks' and accept the help, it certainly made my day easier to bear - not to mention smoother-going. Other times I'd be similarly grateful - yet knowing I could manage myself would say 'I'm ok thanks'. Always careful to smile. Small things. I don't get scowlers. * 'em. They ruin it for everyone else. Some of the bastards get their enjoyment from ruining it for everyone else. Misery loves company etc..

Back to the wheelchair - I do remember being annoyed when people would talk to me as if I was 5 years old tho, and at those **s who go 'awwwwwww' behind yr back as if they've just seen a retarded penguin chick being fed with a bottle by a kitten. Could have been my haircut, I suppose...

I've been working in London for four weeks now and I still don't understand why people run down the escalators to get to the trains. The trains come roughly every minute. What difference does it make?

Not to mention shouting at people to get out of the way - even elderly people - and shoving past. It's not "reserve", it's horrible rudeness.

An African friend of ours who is aged about 50 told me recently that when she was a child Britain was admired up as the model of good manners and civilisation. She lives in London now and says all that seems to have disappeared - but maybe the old foreigners' image of the British is a bit old-fashioned.

IME east Europeans are MUCH more polite. Maybe it's a religious upbringing installs a bit of politeness as a side effect.

Come to Cambridge in the summer, when we have about 30k language students in town and you'll soon realise they're way worse than us. They walk in groups blocking the entire pavement and won't give way to anyone. The amount of litter they drop in our parks is astronomical, it's as if they make an effort to ensure they take nothing with them when they leave and have been brought up to drop all waste / packaging on the floor / grass as they use it.

Doesn't hurt to be polite