[Closed] When people say "What do you do?" or get introduced as their job role.

I just tell them it is all classified information and move on. I mean damn the ambiguity of the English language…

So what do you do?

Edit: To be fair it is a way of showing interest in someone that you have just met, asking them to talk about themselves.

Then on game shows on TV, people seem to get introduced as their job role first. Why is that?

Tired and worn out father of three who spends his working time dreaming of winning the lottery so he doesn't need to work at his banal admin job ever again, and spends his free time looking for the cheapest way to get so drunk that he doesn't have to think about how his dreams evaporated once he met Rita when they were 18. They are hoping to win the jackpot so they can go to Las Vegas to renew their wedding vows in the hope that they might find something to say to each other.

It's too long and depressing, I think?

I don’t understand it.

It's not an attempt to label or rank you, unless you are talking to a total prick; it's just curiousity and something to talk about. I've had some interesting chats with people based on their jobs and also their hobbies - feel free to answer that instead.

On game shows they also say where the person's from. That doesn't matter any more than what they do.

Slacker/bozo.

I guess it's an easy way of defining a person and getting an idea of who they are. Probably a good thing if you have a career/profession to be proud of and that you enjoy. Less so for the rest of us.

Totally agree OP, it's weird.

It's the single thing i spend most of my time on, other than sleep. Well, trying to sleep.

I wish it wasn't, but these things do happen.

davros
Free Member
Slacker/bozo.

'Dark Lord of Skaro' has a nice ring to it though.

It's a phatic expression. It's not really intended to be an informational exchange, just a social exchange to show interest in the other person. Yes, it can be tiresome but it's better than everyone staring at their shoes umming and ahhing and not knowing what to say. Giving a smart-arse reply just shows that you aren't interested in making any effort at being sociable.

It’s a phatic expression.

Giving a smart-arse reply just shows that you aren’t interested in making any effort at being sociable.

I agree I hate all that willy-waving.
I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually

A bit like when someone says 'How are you?', they aren't expecting a full run-down on your rectal prolapse.

Some once did ask me what I do for fun. I found that so refreshing and it actually started a proper conversation.

Edit: To be fair it is a way of showing interest in someone that you have just met, asking them to talk about themselves.

I was at a wedding and during the "standing around with a glass of fizz whilst photos are taken" bit I ended up standing by the partner of an old school friend, who had been standing on his own.

"Hi", I said, "Is it Phil? I'm Simon, Sara and I went to school together".

"Alright."

"What do you do Phil?" I asked, for the purposes of making general chit-chat.

"You're not really interested are you, you're just asking that to make small talk"

Well f__ you Phil, stand on your own then.

I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually

you are peter griffin and I claim my £5

Some once did ask me what I do for fun. I found that so refreshing and it actually started a proper conversation.

I do my job well, but I get much more satisfaction from achievements in my hobbies than work.

“You’re not really interested are you, you’re just asking that to make small talk”

Well f__ you Phil, stand on your own then

Ask them what they do for fun then.

Yeah it is a weird one, I love my job and people generally find it interesting so I’ll happily talk about it if they want to

But if I hated my job yeah I’d hate being asked what I do all the time. I think your approach in that case OP works, just answer with a hobby

Although personally as someone who used to hate their job and changed as a result (spending 5 years getting GCSEs and a degree, not just applying for a new job) I’d say that maybe the fact you’re so upset by an innocent question says something about how you view your situation, maybe go after the root cause of that

I find "what are you into" gives someone a chance to talk about something they're actually interested in. It's a bit wider - I too think my job is tedious and even I don't want to hear about it, let alone inflicting it on someone else.

Noone has yet said "BDSM" or other questionable response, but there's loads of time yet...

Also, I like phatic, I didn't know that word - thanks!

Some once did ask me what I do for fun.

I've worked with a few people who you are much better off asking about their job than their fun.

I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually

After introducing yourself as Walter Mitty?

To be fair I would be fascinated in further details concerning the "Rocket Surgeon" job. I've been told a few times at work that I needed a rocket up my arse, never fully understood what that involved.

Ask them what they do for fun then.

maybe the fact you’re so upset by an innocent question says something about how you view your situation, maybe go after the root cause of that

I'm not upset about it. Just find it weird. My job is a respected career but I value my achievements outside of work far more.

I find “what are you into” gives someone a chance to talk about something they’re actually interested in.

That's a good approach.

yeah but if everyone did that routinely you’d no longer find it refreshing, and just start making stupid shit up about that instead 😃

Not really. Hobbies are the things people choose to do. Work is something we have to do. Sure there are some people who do a job they love and put their life into it. I respect that. But that's not very many people.

I find “what are you into” gives someone a chance to talk about something they’re actually interested in.

Uuuuuhhh, socialising, you know. Going out with my friends. I loves travel - going to Blackpool next month. Hobbies? That's really old fashioned innit? Maybe I should start train spotting, ha ha!

I'd probably rather hear what someone's job is than their hobbies, because:

Uuuuuhhh, socialising, you know. Going out with my friends. I loves travel – going to Blackpool next month.

when people ask ‘How are you?’, they aren’t expecting a full run-down on your rectal prolapse.

Their loss. Rectal prolapse were great when I saw them at the Marquee in '87.

I’d probably rather hear what someone’s job is than their hobbies, because:

+1

I often chat to other riders about my work / their work / industry / technical fields on rides etc. Given you spend more time working than anything else (other than sleeping) it's a pretty big part of your life whether you like it or not.

'What do you do for fun?' sounds too much like a question that requires a thought out response and lots of self justification.

'Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn't enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I've started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don't get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.

At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I'm often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.

I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they're great....

They're great...

So, how about you, what do you do for fun?'

Nah, think I'll stick with, 'What do you do?'

I usually just make something up on the spur of the moment, Test Pilot or Rocket Surgeon usually

Which works right up until you find someone who actually does that or who knows of someone...

Heard a story (from an interviewer) of a candidate who'd put something on their CV about some extreme sport or other which was suitably niche. All went pear-shaped when the interviewer said "I see you're into [sport], the best man at my wedding was [name], you must know him?"

"err...no"

"Oh, that's unusual cos he's [sport champion] and is very well known..."

And the lies quickly unravelled.

‘Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn’t enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I’ve started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don’t get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.

At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I’m often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.

I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they’re great….

They’re great…

So, how about you, what do you do for fun?’

Nah, think I’ll stick with, ‘What do you do?’

But that's much more interesting that work.

what are you in to?

There's a whole load of danger in that question!

What about ‘Who are you into?’

I would assume that historically its just as much about weighing up a person's usefulness and social standing in society, and goes some way in forming a bond of trust.

Personally, I'm not all that interested in what people do for work and probably greet such questions with a degree of suspicion, because of the above.

But that said, I generally enjoy my job, to the point where I take an interest in it outside of work, so I'd happily talk about it to anyone that had a genuine interest.

But I do work for the Government and there are parts of my work i can't talk about. Other bits, I'm more than happy to divulge, in fact it is part of my job to do just that.

How do i answer, to avoid being boring and/or a smart arse?

‘What do you do for fun?’ sounds too much like a question that requires a thought out response and lots of self justification.

‘Well, I like mountain biking but I found I wasn’t enjoying it much anymore since my fitness took such a huge nose dive after the kids were born so I started trying to train more so I could start enjoying it again. I found I never wanted to train in the evenings so I’ve started waking up at 4:30 to train before I have to get the kids to school. I really struggle to function if I don’t get 8 hours sleep so I basically go to bed when the kids go to bed which means all the cooking, cleaning, and general looking after the kids has to be done between getting home from work and going to bed.

At the weekends I try to get out on the mountain bike but I’m often pretty knackered and the kids always have somewhere to go and something to do which disrupts the whole weekend.

I know it sounds like I resent my kids and my entire life basically revolves around them while I try to cling onto a semblance of health with my finger tips but I really love them. Honestly, I do, they’re great….

Only if the question is asked to a total dysfunctional. Regardless of if it the usual dull "what do you do for a living?" or a (imo) more refreshing "what do you do for fun?" both the questioner and the questioned know it's an icebreaker. A potted summary is sufficient regardless of the response sought.

My two more broad thoughts on this are a) Isn't it so terribly sad that society at large labels people by income stream above all else and b) How many people might struggle to answer "what do you do for fun?" because they either don't do anything for fun because of lack of time or have no ambition to do anything for fun even if they did. Watching TV, drinking on my own, going shopping, ****ing to porn, or standing watching my kids have fun at the thing I've just driven them to is I suspect the sum total of most adult men's honest responses to leisure time pursuits.

b) How many people might struggle to answer “what do you do for fun?” because they either don’t do anything for fun because of lack of time or have no ambition to do anything for fun even if they did. Watching TV, drinking on my own, going shopping, **** to porn, or standing watching my kids have fun at the thing I’ve just driven them to is I suspect the sum total of most adult men’s honest responses to leisure time pursuits.

'What do you do for fun?'

'I rage against the unfairness of a life that condemns me to what is effectively indentured servitude in the name of the continuation of society and weep for the dreams I had that have now fallen by the wayside as I watch my body and mind atrophy from lack of use.

How about you?'

How about you?’

[thread turning dark]Regular idle consideration about if the alternative to continuing existence is maybe not a bad outcome, all things considered. [/thread turning dark]

I see we're channeling our inner sixth-formers today.

Maybe jobs are seen as less private than what you for for fun.

I think work topics tends to be 'safer'. I ask what you do and you say "ride my bike a lot", I might assume you are one of those red light, traffic sign ignoring idiots... who I hate and try to drive over in my A7 Range X5. If you say civil service I say oh that sounds interesting and quickly move on to the next person.

I think if you asked a lot of people what they do for fun they would say "dance and drink and screw, Because there's nothing else to do".

I don't mind talking about my job, it's really easy to make it sound a lot more exciting than it actually is - but yeah, I do get slightly bugged by the "I'm Brian, I'm 45 and I'm a gusset inspector" on TV game shows. Like, your job is what you are. I've made a rule never to go on a TV gameshow, so it'll never happen to me.

How about "how was your weekend"?

‘What do you do for fun?’

That's a dangerous opening gambit because you might get a rabid football fan and then you're going to get talked at for the next half hour.

I've told people "Mountain Biker" before, but sometimes they actually listen to the answer and then I have to explain that in fact no, no one is going to pay my middle-aged, over-weight arse to ride a bike, sadly.

I've had worse though, I had to go to the home of a Vicar once to ask to get married in his Church, he asked me what I "read". "Comics mostly" I replied jokingly, not really knowing what he meant. Turns out he wanted to know what I studied at Uni, when I told him I hadn't gone, he looks at me as if you would a rotting bird at the side of the road, half pity, half disgust. Luckily my Wife has two degrees in completely different fields so they chatted about all that jazz for half an hour, but that's how he worked "Oh, you'd like Sally, she read Literature at Bristol, oh and Simon read History at Bath" and I'm thinking these people are in their 50s at least, does something they did in between pints of snake bite 3 decades ago that important?

That’s a dangerous opening gambit because you might get a rabid football fan and then you’re going to get talked at for the next half hour.

Sounds perfect. I can now stand about at the awkward social occasion, drinking my beer and look like I'm talking to someone without needing to use much more than paraverbals and a passing knowledge of which colours hate which other colour.

Most of the time I just reply "Stuff with computers", or just "computers". That seems to put most people off.