Who gave it to you and did you act on it?
"You can be any where you want to be." - Clive Powell. Mountain Bike Guide, Rhayader, Mid-Wales.
(Sure did.)
"First time you use gloss paint son make sure that you make such a mess that you are never asked to do it again". - My Dad.
Works a treat.
"Give it some welly"
School friend. I did. It was poor advice.
'Don't force it'....
My Dad.
I usually end up forcing it.
Don’t ever smoke.
I was about 12 probably and it was from my Mum, a lifelong smoker who never managed to quit.
I’ve never taken as much as a drag. Plenty of other vices but thankfully not that one.
Keep it simple.
As an engineer "don't put your finger anywhere you wouldn't put your dick" from my lecturer at college has always stuck in my head.
Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your knob.
My dad.
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Don't ever eat anything bigger than your own head.
"Never pee on your own doorstep" the only advice my Mum gave me regarding relationships, which I heeded.
where art is concerned be honest (with others as well as yourself) even if it means being blunt and hurting peoples feelings it's best in the long term for you and them.... mixed results with that one 🙂
"Pick it up by the scruff of the neck and cane it" by my passenger, 2 miles later put the car into an uncontrollable spin and wrapped it round a tree on the A684. Was a remarkable achievement, that stretch of road only has one tree for about 6 miles and I hit it dead square between the headlights....
"You're a long time dead."
I've always thought you could take it two ways; don't play it so safe you miss out on opportunities but also don't be a dick and take an unexpected early bath.
Was profoundly affected by the 'Live Like Jay' strap line around the turn of the millenium. Would be a hashtag now I guess to the current generation.
“That’s not helpful”, Simon Burney, Lyons Airport after riding the Etape de Tour in 2000.
Never put your fingers where you wouldn’t put your knob.
To be fair that one works quite well the other way around too and might have been a useful instruction to me in my more formative years. See also 'just because it's there it doesn't mean you have to **** it'.
'If someone's going fast enough to catch you up, let them past'
(c) me dear old Dad
If it flys, floats or ****s then rent it.
Stupidity and cunning are often very difficult to tell apart.
A work colleague, many years ago.
bullsheet baffles brain.
i didnt realise how true this was.
My old boss said “if we did what we did, we’ll get what we got”. Which is stupidly simple, but absolutely true and works both ways - if something works keep doing it, but equally don’t try to do the wrong thing harder expecting it to work.
Also “trust your gut” never ignore a bad vibe just because you can’t quantify where it’s coming from, your subconscious is sometimes more in tune than you think.
Pain is weakness leaving your body. Not sure that counts as Arnie delivered that eternal wisdom via video.
‘If someone’s going fast enough to catch you up, let them past’
"If someone’s going fast enough to catch you up, they're fast enough to pass you off-line."
A MX mechanic with a championship winning son. Always like that one.
Don't eat yellow snow
And
Check upstream for a dead sheep
Leading Hand took me aside as a probationer and said "trust no-one!". Best career advice I've ever had. I now pass this font of knowledge on to every probationer coming through.
Don’t talk with your mouth full.
Don't covert thy neighbours wife.
Say sorry when you are wrong.
All passed onto me by God, and I’ve acted on them ever since.
Don't complain about something if you're not prepared to try and fix it.
Bravery needs witnesses.
Compete at the highest level you can.
The end of the 3rd pint is where you decide.
Never drink in the closest pub to a train station.
Almost all from my dad, almost all ignored until later life where they made sense.
an old director
if you are fat at forty you've no chance in life..
It's at times like this... that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was little.
Buy the best shoes you can afford .....you only get one set of feet.
"Get a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life."
I ignored this completely
And, regarding the miracle of childbirth...."Stay up the dry end"
Ignored that the first two times. Wised up for the third.
Never enter into conversation, speak to a lawyer.
Served me well.
Advice from my mums brother, and it has served me very well
First piece of MTB wisdom I heard was the most important by a mile - look where you want to go.
After that it's mainly been awful advice -
It's just like dropping off a kerb
need to take it at pace
don't overthink it and just send it mate
throw a dig in second lap
For life there's the wisdom of regular show - rules are for fools. For what is creativity if not breaking the rules? You just need to completely understand what, how and why the rules are in the first place, before you can break them...
"Always wear something in bed. That way, when you get bounced out at 3am, you won't be running around cupping your balls."
Closely followed by "Don't fsck up", which is a great piece of advice when you are learning how to skydive. I mean, it's the one thing you really, really do not want to do.
My Grandfather told me when I was about 10 that regardless of whatever anyone else said, my two best friends in the world were my Mum and my Bank Account, I should never mistreat either of them and always look after them.
Took the advice and it served me very well.
Never ask a starfish for directions.
'If it's got tits or wheels it's going to cost you money'
A wise mate of mine.
Duck.
'It's more important to know what is going on behind you than to be obsessed about indicating.'
Was meant to be about cycling but could be applied to life in general.
Always work to the west of home.
Ringfence the unicorn.
Buy good shoes and a good bed, if you're not in one, you're in the other.
Don't hire fat people, if they can't look after themselves, they can't look after your business.
My Dad "Stay away from Louise*"
I didn't take the advice 🙁
*name changed to protect the guilty
Careful what you do with it, you'll still want to piss through it when you're 80.
My grandfarther.
As an engineer, you need to wash your hands before you go to the toilet.
University workshop technician.
No one cares how quickly you go forwards through your switching instructions - because the one thing you can't do it go backwards.
One of the SAPs at work when I was training.
Don't fertilise any eggs in that basket case.
My old schoolfriend, Katherine, after meeting my then girlfriend.
It was all good advice.
"better than the alternative". Mother and sister, who both now have the alternative 🙁
Don't get a tattoo.
I heeded that, thanks dad.
Don’t hire fat people, if they can’t look after themselves...
Blimey. The place I work in would be empty. (it's not Greggs)
"One: Everything's idiot-proof until they give you a better idiot.
Two: Don't be the better idiot"
An old boss, about 15 years ago. I still spend every day trying not to be the better idiot.
Weighing up a decision of whether to use leave to do some adventure training or go home to visit my parents, my sergeant said,
" when you're old and sat in your retirement home, what are you going to remember, teaching lads how to to ski in the alps for a week, or dicking about with your mates at home like you've always done?"
Toga skiing was something I'll never forget!
Basically, do what your future self will thank you for. It's my first thought when stuck with a hard call.
I made a safety poster for work with the never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your cock quote. As yet, no one has had the balls to put it up anywhere.
"you've only got to know enough to know that you know **** all"
An old process operator in my first week of university sandwich year placement at a chemical works. Great advice about working above your capacity in a potentially dangerous environment.
My biology teacher quoting the CIA when I was about to be interrogated by the Vice-Principal - "Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter accusations". Great advice, they had nothing on me.
If you are letting someone choose the race line,make sure they are better than you.
and
Don't follow the numpties into the bumpties.
From my mate Doug during our MX days.
Too many good memorable ones but I often hear this from my parents ...
"don't jump before you can walk"
😀
My biology teacher quoting the CIA when I was about to be interrogated by the Vice-Principal – “Admit nothing. Deny everything and make counter accusations”. Great advice, they had nothing on me.
That is brilliant!
I like! 😀
"When it takes 2 people to hold & hit something, be the hitter - not the holder" - My old man, when I was about 6 playing with some nails and a hammer..
My first manager:
"80% of being a good engineer is being a tedious b*stard"
I try to bear it in mind, and I think it has served.
Arthur-"You know, it's at times like this when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.
Ford-"Why, what did she tell you?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen."
Parting advice from my brilliant counsellor at my final session:
”My advice to you is to never listen to f**g advice because it’s s!”
The best advice i ever got was from the back of a packet of matches. It simply stated 'keep dry and away from children'!
As an apprentice I was told: “Never take a shite in yer own time”
Never fart in an empty lift.
'Keep your head up'
Relevant to almost everything both physically and metaphorically. Can't remember who gave it to me though 🙁
From a police officer on the A69 about 10pm at night after I followed the other car for a bit nearly in 3 figures - he didn't have enough footage or time for the paperwork.
"You will never see the police when you need them"
Very wise advice.
Plenty of never put your finger where you wouldn't put your cock
You can't change the world, you can only change yourself.
Never pee on the windward side.
Don't get into something you can't get out of.
Stopped me dead in my tracks, thankfully.
Let the wookie win.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
From my dad 'You can't un* a *' using the nasty c word.
Great advice which has saved me a huge amount of time and stress in life. Ta dad.
Never go to the dentist stoned.
From my dad ‘You can’t un* a *’ using the nasty c word.
Could have done with hearing that this morning before arriving at work.
“Worrying is a lot like a rocking chair, it’ll give you something to do but it won’t get you anywhere”
Van Wilder (perhaps not originally..)
"Eat and sleep when you can"
From my grandfather from his army training.
Served me and him well.
"The things you own, end up owning you" :- fight club quote. Very true.
There's no such thing as a minor chainsaw accident.
- someone on STW once. Always runs through my mind when I'm using a chainsaw.
"you can always chop another bit off, but you can't add a bit back on"
From a friend many years ago about a choice of girlfriend: "There's some porridge you just don't stir..." Has been good advice in many situations!
Dad: if she's not rich make sure she can cook.
Brother: don't buy French or Fiat.
Brother: there's no such thing as dirty fighting. He's trying to hurt you so aim for the soft bits.
Mata Amritanandamayi: happiness is a choice.
Not technically advice I’ve had but something Bruce Lee said that I think is great.
Don’t fear failure. Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.
One is none.
Two is one.
There are two rules for success.
Rule 1: Never reveal everything that you know.