[Closed] What's the best crap 'food' ...

*bearnecessities & tomhoward to the thread*

To be honest, I think anything non-meat should be banned, as you're only really taking your life in your hands when you get cheap meat.

Oh... and this is being middleclasstrackworld I've already had a word with the mods. The first person to say they sometimes use a dressing on their couscous salad that isn't organic gets banned, and then gets a fatwah issued against them that involves being locked in a room with me, Jammers, JY, DazH, THM, Ninfan, Yunki, Clodhopper and the Croydon Communist where we discuss the relative merits of Jeremy Corbyn

Pepperoni on Pizza.

Absolutely no idea:
a) what meat it is (pork? maybe)
b) what's in it to make it so red (paprika, or E2426547623)
c) how it tastes soooooo gooooood.

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mmmmmm cheese beano! 🙂

I also utterly love this gear!

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I do use it in salad, but a plate of chips ham and beetroot is awesome! 🙂

Anything out of a Scottish chip shop.

....but most especially a Haggis Supper.

Stop it! I've just had spiralized courgette and red cabbage salad (no dressing) for lunch in an effort to lose weight and this is not helping my resolve.

I bought some of these recently from Asda and they were ACE! 😀

As good as any ribs Ive eaten in a Restaurant! (bought some in Lidl that weren't half as good)

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...and pretty much any other processed meat made from abattoir floor scrapings!

deep pan pepperoni pizza, bread + cheese + processed meat can't be beat ! 🙂

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I can quite happily eat a tin of this on occassion!

Nae cheese....nae pasta....nae problem.

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It's not a doughnut (hole missing)
[i]Full of creamy custard[/i](it's not from the custard family)
[i]Famous fudge icing[/i] (congealed suger with fudge flavouring)

A sugar high so bad,I wouldn't dare drive 😉

I feel dirty after eating one.

They dont make them anymore but i used to eat a chicken curry pot rice on top of potato waffles, nothing real in that meal. I had it as my pre football lunch and i never had a bad season, then they stopped making it and i ended up on the treatment table for over a year. That stuff was holding me together!

Fish finger, cheese and waffle sarnie on council white (tommy k of course)

Cake

Birds eye chicken dippers

Not sure crinkly pickled beetroot counts as crap food! 😕

Local shop near work does Pork Pie with Black Pudding.

Funnily enough.... crinkly pickled beetroot with that 3 cheese sandwich filth, on crap white bread, is a combination made in heaven 😀

white pudding.

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Meat based products that you know are just lips and arseholes

We're going to have to send you on the middle class orientation course Binners. 'Lips and Arseholes' is now 'Nose to Tail eating' and is now an act sophisticated culinary holier than thou one-upmanship. Like being a vegan was 10 years ago. Thats what you are now, just embrace it.

Anyway my vote goes to the King Rib. The best bit of the King Rib is the little crispy blackened 'eye' at one end, even though that is just in fact the chipshop owners thumbprint.

I've recently fallen down the slippery slope from thinking that I'd never be drunk enough to eat one, to being drunk enough to eat one and from there falling further down that slope to eating them when I'm sober.

Pepperami - it's a bit of an animal....

Just that no one is sure which bit!

Full of creamy custard(it's not from the custard family)

Baker's Muck

BUNCH OF FAGGOTS

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"The first person to say they sometimes use a dressing on their couscous salad that isn't organic gets banned, and then gets a fatwah issued against them that involves being locked in a room with me, Jammers, JY, DazH, THM, Ninfan, Yunki, Clodhopper and the Croydon Communist where we discuss the relative merits of Jeremy Corbyn"

Surely that would be contrary to the Geneva Convention? 😯

I tend not to eat 'crap', well processed junk anyway, but I must profess a weakness for cheap Polish meat-based products, which I buy from the local sklep. And the very occasional Pot Noodle (original chik n mush only). Which I always regret. 😳

God I love white pudding in a white bread sandwich with melting butter, mmmmm

mama thai instant noodles. soooo tasty - especially the tom yum ones.

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Binners, you must've tried this stuff??
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I'm a big fan of the Rustlers BBQ pork rib as post night ride din dins with a packet of cool original doritos and 3 big bottle of stella. You don't get a body like mine by accident.

Nobeerinthefridge - I bloody love that stuff!!!! Its best on toast when you get in from the pub 😀

seosamh77 is first into the room of pain for suggesting beetroot.

Nobeerinthefridge - I bloody love that stuff!!!! Its best on toast when you get in from the pub

....with a soupcon of broon sauce for added piquancy.

Burgers, sausages and pork pies.

Absolutely no idea what excuses for meat go into them, nor do I care. I could live off them, or crisps. (I do buy quality, but I am in no doubt they still contain plenty of udders and foreskin)

Big Mac and strawberry shake 😀

the-muffin-man - Member
Not sure crinkly pickled beetroot counts as crap food!

tabbouleh and Guacamole are my go to indulgence foods 😉

<Diversion> Vinegar is low in calories (unless balsamic loveliness) - more likely to be sugar added in commercial pickled things.

Anyhow, back to shit food crack.

Corned beef, chips and Branston pickle anyone?

I've not had bacon grill for years Binners, think I'll sneak it past the wife this weekend....

seosamh77 - try the dodgy 3 cheeses sandwich filling with beetroot fella. It looks like a car crash!

I shall do, hopefully, it'll redeem my reputation in the process!

(Although I did originally put the combination of chips ham and beetroot up for consideration, so I think I should get a pass! 😆 )

Fried spam, black pudding and runny fried egg sarnies with a soupçon of mustard and tommy K for when i've a brutal hangover but can still eat

seosamh77 - try the dodgy 3 cheeses sandwich filling with beetroot fella. It looks like a car crash!

And wrap the sarnies in cling film til lunch time, even better all squashed!

Those baked bean fry ups (sausages, beans and mushrooms iirc) in a can.

On top of a couple of slices of fried sponge...... sorry, fried crap white bread.

Used to live on that for the last few weeks of term.

Few pints of nice beer &
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High fat, high salt and porky beer burps 😀

KFC. My guiltiest pleasure. Especially after a long ride, I just crave all that fat and salt.

Amazeballs

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[quote=perchypanther ]Anything out of a Scottish chip shop.
....but most especially a Haggis Supper.

Stopped in at Dunkeld for a chippy on the way down the road from Laggan on Sunday night.

Their weekly special was a deep fried Lion Bar 😯 😆

The Aberdeen Buttery or Rowie. Basically, 3 croissants compacted together with added lard and salt. Perfect warm with an unhealthy drizzle of golden syrup. Fortifies one to brave the nippy northern airs of a morning.

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Their weekly special was a deep fried Lion Bar

I've never actually seen a deep fried chocolate bar of any description for sale in any chippy. I believed it to be an urban myth.

I did once get my mouth round a Stonner once... 😳

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the chippy near us used to do battered jam butties. Magical, they were. Apart from the 600 degree C jam in your mouth. And the white Warby's bread that soaked up half a litre of cooking fat per slice.

Missus got me to try a Rowie about 4 years ago. I think it's still showing up in blood tests.

It was lard and salt with a small helping of pastry added.

Nice though.

Hmmmmmm, ears and ringpieces!

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**adds bacon grills to shopping list along with Mazda MX5**

No animals were harmed in the production of this breakfast but gristle and cartilage is included, as is connective tissue

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Chippy in Podsmead, Gloucester would deep fry pretty much any food you took in. All kinds of chocolate including creme eggs. Then they did pizza slices and if you were feeling exceptionally lardy - deep fried chips. Obviously chips are deep fried anyway, but in this case they coated them in batter first and the result was an enormous modge of battery chips.

You're all missing the obvious winner...

The mystery that is the elephant's leg kebab:

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Yum!

Surely has to be these? They are like crack.

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Kingrib from the chippy. I have no idea what is in it. No bones tho for sure

salt and pepper squid from the Chinese , deep fried and loads of garlic and chilli absolute heaven.

Vesta dried meals. Grew up on these , plus Fray Bentos steak & kidney pie as my mum hated cooking & still bloody love them.

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When I was a kid, used to get these from the local off license. I imagine it's like a kebab only worse....

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for me its either a kebab or some of the chicargo town microwave pizza....

As a recent incomer to the Teesside area I take my hat off to the Parmo. Horrific to look at but incredible all the same. Best consumed after epic endevours on the bike.

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from the chippie, deep fried battered and with chips and a couple of pickled onions

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Doner Kebab meat in a tray, no salad, no pitta bread, maybe some lemon juice with lashings of chilli sauce.

A sausage and egg mcmuffin from mc d's. Now made better with the addition of the double sausage and egg mcmuffin.

the chippy near us used to do battered jam butties.

One of the caterers serving the film industry up here does sandwich pakoras. Not a pakora in a sandwich but a sandwich in a pakora. They're actually pretty good too.

Wow! I haven't had a Fray Bentos Kate and Sidney pie for years. I absolutely loved them at Uni (first time around). I could easily eat a whole large one. The trick was trying to get the "pastry" to rise, which didn't always happen. Either way, they were still nice.

Has to be.....

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I will not have a microwave in the house.
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I will not have a microwave in the house.

What's that got to do with anything?

Burek, had it in Slovenia, it's a bit like pizza but with the topping inside flaky pastry. Greasy, lips and asshole reconstituted ham, cheap cheese but addictive as hell.

Kabanos!

Cheap white bread, cheese, sliced pickled onions and salad cream sandwich! Don't know what it is but the combination has me drooling! It has to be cheap bread though!

Kabanos!

middle class pepperami 🙂

Plus 1 for bacon grill and the chicken parmo though, both dirty but lush.

When a pig has shat in your head, only one thing will cut it....

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If one of those beauties (washed down with full fat coke) won't shift your hangover, then you might not make the day.
The double sausage and egg Macmuffin is a reason in itself to drink excessively 🙂

Has to be Hollands Meat Pies for me. Growing up in Liverpool these were a staple from the chippy in a 'pie dinner' with chips peas and gravy. I live down south now and it's all pukka pies which are shit. I still have to indulge in these when I go back home. Christ knows what's in them. I don't think they know themselves hence the simple catch all 'meat pie' name. Lovely though!

Crispy fried sechuan beef&special fried rice, washed down with full fat coke.
My 24 hour mega bender hangover cure.