[Closed] What would you like on your epitaph

Not mine but Spike Milligan's;

See, I told you I was ill!

(Edit)

Mine will probably be;

'Yes, I've switched the electric off at the fuse board'

"His genius will be missed"

🙂

"he had right of way"

My Mrs will put,

"Stiff at last" 😉

sorry mate didn't see you

What tyres for the afterlife? Oops wrong forum

"Not sleeping just dead"

at last he has shut the f@ck up

"He was a slayer of men and a lover of many many women"

My dad's friend had:

"I demand a second opinion" on his

"Argue with THAT"

"Never knowingly under-caked"

"sober at last"

in really tiny writting at the bottom

"your now standing on my nuts"

not original, but dunno who had it.

here's some I just thought of

"just popped out, back in 5"
"from here I can see up your skirt"
"you'll never guess who I just saw"
"the missus thinks I'm down the pub"
"you should have seen the other guy"
"if you're reading this you're too close"
"my other coffin is a porsche"
"turned out nice again"

"Here lies Zulu Eleven - Cn*t still owes me a Tenner!"

😆

[i][b]NOW[/b][/i] I've met Elvis

"entirely hairless above his knees" (tip of the hat to Graham S)

Surely that should read 'What would you like AS your epitaph'

Therefore mine would be, Here lies a pedant...well not exactly here but 5.2cm to your left! 😉

"Born to die Jey"

Marilyn Manson's "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers" springs to mind, but hopefully I won't be that bitter when my time comes...

live fast, die young 🙂

I watched a program on the living-fast stars of yesteryear the other day. Marilyn etc then there was a Tallulah Bankhead. She was scoring, smoking etc right upto her death. ****, she slept with everyone she fancied; boy or girl and took alot of gear.

Gerrof moi land.

i want one of these:
[img] [/img]
instead of a headstone.

(does it only count if you get killed on the bike?)

Wikipedia tells me Ms Bankhead's last words were "Codeine... bourbon." Nice!

Apperently she shagged and took drugs for almost 4 decades solid!

Manson isn't dead, is he, or have I missed something?

"He was born the wrong way up, well fed, and late, and died the same way"

My Mrs would put "Good riddance to bad rubbish".

Mushn't Grumble

"wheres the lightswitch"

"It's better to burn out, than to fade away. There can be only one."

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings

That will do me.

C'est la mort. 😉

He aimed low in life, and missed!

She was a PITA.

But also like samuri's suggestion, particularly cos of my forum name 8)

I love that Poem, Julian. Very apt for cyclists.

"Your Standing on My Grave...Please ring the Police Non Emergency Number and report yourself"

"confusion"

"could have sworn i had taken my tablets"

saw one carved into an old headstone on an island in the middle of a scottish loch.

"my glass has run
Yours is running
Be wise in time
Your hour is coming"

quite liked that.

my mate wants "well done" on his as it's answer to almost everything.

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth
And danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings

That will do me.

But you don't have a pilot's licence, do you?

And you're not Irish either, are you?

Go back to your dictionary of quotations and find something more fitting

"DNR"

It was the wallpaper or me.

"And then I said, 'Over my dead body'"

"you are standing on a landmine, see you soon"

" No, this is not his!"

" Any chance of some upskirt action?"

" get help!!! my broadband connection is down"

" urinating on my grave will only kill the grass, you simpleton!"

" shhhhh listen! I said... If you listen very carefully.... you can here a train coming"

" it's a bit dark... no no.. it's completely dark "

" I think I need another pillow"

" Has somebody lost a wallet"

" Your advert could be here! ring.... "

" How come they found Saddam Hussain... ???"

My head needs sorting 😀

Despite my Mum telling me that clean underwear is important, I've decided that the skid marks in my pants are less critical than the ones on the road.

WTF is he and how on earth did he get out of that coffin?

[i]And you're not Irish either, are you?[/i]

Neither was the guy who wrote it.

DNF

"As addictive as crystal meth, as dangerous as heroin and as legal as pork pies "