OK, so have asked for son advice on here before (re older son) and got some great support, so fingers crossed.
Bit of background - he was born with dyspraxia and hearing loss (fully recovered now) so early years were a slower development for him. Consequently his social skills are a little awkward, his processing a little slower and speech a little unclear. But he's fit and healthy, good looking lad and bar the bits above, a typical teen! He has just done his GCSEs and just turned 17.
He's not got any specific hobbies or interests, but can turn his hand to making a mean carbonara, can play squash pretty well, is terrific with dogs, works regularly in a kitchen doing food prep, completed Silver DofE, done NCS this summer, volunteered at a local disabled school. He's also a very amenable guy, pretty chilled, calm, doesn't get stressed, easy to be with. But not a chatterbox so interviews may be tough for him.
<span style="font-size: 0.8rem;">He passed his 6 GCSEs that he took, but did find studying very very hard, esp written work ... but credit to him, he put heaps of effort in. That said, it was a terrific result to pass them all and he beat expectations so I'm keen not to underestimate. It also gave him a good confidence boost as school has always been v hard (Vs. elder bother who achieved v easily). He's adamant he doesn't want to do further studying, and I'm good with this. </span>
There's no rush for him to find a full time job as I'm keen he has time to mature, experience different things, enjoy growing up ... and I hope some activities/experiences will help him grow up as he's a 'young 17 yo'. We've been looking at volunteering abroad which he's v keen to do, but it's hard to do it for an extended period outside of summer holidays if you're under 18. Alternatively, an apprenticeship role that will allow him to grow up but that isn't just a dogsbody.
So looking for suggestions that ideally:
- experience 'stuff' - could be work, could be play
- give him an opportunity to live away from home in some structured environment
- force him to make his own decisions, look after himself, give him more to talk about/add to his current experiences
- have fun, maybe develop a specific interest
Not sure what the legalities are as he should still be in education or training ... but I'd love for him to have a fab year that allowed him space to grow up and decide what he'd like to do.
Thanks!
You're sending him to the Army, aren't you?
No advice, sorry, but you sound a good dad
You’re sending him to the Army, aren’t you?
I thought that too...
I was going to suggest an apprenticeship, but I'm slightly biased as I look after a couple myself.
The apprenticeship scheme is great, there's loads of choices and it's a lot more common now because companies over a certain size effectively have to take on apprentices (or give free money to the government).
Re: "dogsbody," from talking to my reports seems apprenticeship is very dependent on the placement they land. They've got a good placement here with lots of opportunities, but they've told me some of their college mates haven't been so lucky. Some employers will treat apprentices as glorified teaboys for a year and then kick them out of the door. I guess there's good and bad workplaces like anywhere else.
snowboard season.
Buy him a ladder, a bucket and a chamois leather and get him knocking doors to set up a window cleaning round.
Let him have a go at running a small business with no financial risk while you’re still supporting him. He might have an undiscovered entrepreneurial spark
How about volunteering at an outdoor education centre or similar? They often have live in staff so there is a social side to life there.
It doesn't have to be helping with the activities; the office, estate staff, housekeeping and kitchen will all need help.
I was a 'dogsbody' at a centre for a year and it was great. They fed me and I got to do loads of activities at weekends etc.
There are chances to work abroad doing the same sort of thing as well.
You’re sending him to the Army, aren’t you?
I met a few people who had come through that way from various background and one of the forces probably avoiding the firing line stuff would be worth a look! Though to progress the study and learn parts are key
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Buy him a ladder, a bucket and a chamois leather and get him knocking doors to set up a window cleaning round.
Let him have a go at running a small business with no financial risk while you’re still supporting him. He might have an undiscovered entrepreneurial spark"
I've heard it can be very cut-throat (territorial), i'd be careful, you could be sending him on an established 'round'...
There's an animal shelter in Crete that went viral recently and has the funds to expand, he's looking for someone to live there and look after the cats and dogs long term.
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Where are you based? My dad is a ranger on t'Moors, if he wanted some volunteer work there are always paths to repair...
Maybe have a look at sail training organisations, the ones running ex-working boats/square riggers/larger yachts do take on volunteers, with a chance to become full time later and the possibility of bursaries towards qualifications. More of a lifestyle than a job and pay is not great, but being off shore and full board on a dry boat makes spending money quite hard.
Write to Jamie Oliver and ask for training if he likes cooking and you have one of his restaurants near by. Interview I heard with him the other day sounds like he used to be similar re-school. Worth a punt,
What about a Center Assistant somewhere like Glenmore Lodge or Plas Y Brenin?
Supportive environment and lots of cances to try outdoor activities.
You only need a few things in life and that's doing what you love the most followed by food, shelter and family/friends
helpx
Check out hosts and projects, find host/project you think sounds and reviews as suitable, then create a profile with him and apply to the hosts
An apprenticeship is the way forward - a firm on the on the smaller side would be ideal. It's education in evey sense of the word and gets him learing in all sorts of ways.
Yes there are firms that take the piss and use them as a lackey, but if you choose carefully they can be a great way for someone with your sons skills to make progress.
If he likes prep work and kitchens but not the unsocal hours and dogsbody bit, what about lab work - pharm / civil / material types? methodical hands on work, qa systems, business in the background.....
Cheers
I did camp america in my summer hols from uni
at a camp for inner city kids on welfare
followed by a 2 week camp for teenage mums & their kids
It was an eye opening, rewarding & humbling experience
I'd be having a think about what jobs will be essential in the years to come. With automation coming a lot of jobs will disappear. Balance that with what he's interested and passionate about.
Regardless, your approach sounds great. I just wish my parents had been a bit more like you back in the day instead of forcing me to do what they wanted
No advice at all OP, but you sound like a great parent- good luck with whatever you end up doing 🙂
have you asked him what he want's to do ?
French Foreign Legion!!!
Neilwheel makes a good suggestion about trying a sailing organisation/tall ships thing.
One of my regrets is not to have had a go when younger. I've been fortunate that I've done all sorts of other sailing but never done the tall ships thing. Even normal big boat/yacht sailing pushes people together in a tight environment and forces you to interact and work as a team. Good for people with practical skills and the ability to acquire new ones.
If you wanted a career from it you'd have to do some qualifications along the way but as an experience and confidence builder I would say it would be worth a look.
Foundation course in engineering.
I’m sorry I don’t have any advice to offer. I would like to say that he sounds like a great lad and what a good parent you must be to have raised him.
+1 for an apprenticeship.
My only area of knowledge is engineering but the schemes ran by the larger companies (Airbus, Babcock, DE&S, Renishaw to name a few) are superb and incredible engaging and rewarding experiences throughout, with the benefit of a career for life and a very decent wage these days.
Where are you? Lots of people on here could offer an apprentiship.
I would back up Howsyourdad with the ski season advice. Don’t expect him to do just the one though! They are always looking for kitchen porters in the Chalet Hotels and a chalet host course is worth doing.
a mate just got back from 3 months with Raleigh in Nepal. Before that, Borneo working on local water infrastructure projects. He seems to love it
if i had another go i'd do a ski season or 3.
Ski season / summer season with Neilson or Mark Warner would gain him good life experience, let him grow with a group of like minded , skint individuals.
Or , explain to him that life is very expensive and can be stressfull , but the ability to earn a reasonable income helps alot.
So , an apprentiship with a building co where he could learn the basics of plastering, plumbing, brickwork, electrcisc, woodwork and gas work . Then choose one or two to specialise in and do a day release technical collage course in those areas. By the age of 20 /21 he could be on £200 + a day with the potential after a year or 2 at that level to push on , get qualified and then you are into the £300 - £400 a day rate . ( eg fitting combi boilers )
If he is not an academic , but is practical and good with hands then why not? The trades are always going to be in demand , and he could do well .
I think until he’s 18 he will need to be in full time education, or a recognised traineeship or apprenticeship?
If he makes a mean Carbona and has an interest in food why not suggest catering college.
yes, I know you say he doesn’t want to study , but like has been said above, I don’t think no education is an option any more.
plus, catering college can lead to a great foodie career, not just cooking and he will meet loads of new like minded folks
Apprenticeship, enlist with the military or college are the ones that come to mind. Food college, outdoor college (like https://www.whc.uhi.ac.uk/courses/outdoor-leadership/), there are plenty of less academic study routes.
thanks all, and really appreciate the support.
I fear this is the case - I think until he’s 18 he will need to be in full time education, or a recognised traineeship or apprenticeship? But suspect it's a fairly broad definition. But being 17 it makes the volunteering outside of school hols tricky, esp for periods of >2 weeks.
The army is probably a tad hardcore for him (ref banter, personality etc - my brother is ex forces so has given a bit of insight) but that type of approach could be good. Looking into sailing/crewing as that appeals to him.
From his kitchen work to date, he enjoys it but he's not very quick so as he's got better and involved in food prep, the pressure's on to keep up with the chefs ... bit of a challenge! So he's not pro the idea of a life in a kitchen.
Also the national park/ranger/outdoor stuff has prompted the thought of a practical 1 year basis gardening/countryside type course which is pretty practical. Might be a positive way to spend a year, get some qualification and have plenty of options at the end incl (as he'll be 18) Camp America/volunteering type options.
So making some progress ... thanks again.
There are FE colleges that don’t do academic subjects, like the course at https://www.reaseheath.ac.uk/further-education/courses/adventure-sports/#tab-id-1 if there’s an interest in outdoor stuff?
Look for volunteering ops at national trust properties or wildlife centres etc. Might be a way to see if interested before doing a course.
He’s adamant he doesn’t want to do further studying, and I’m good with this.
But has he considered things like catering college which aren't really studying so much as learning? I am sure there are other topics people above have mentioned (e.g. like Outdoor instructing, and working on ships) which are similar and will require relatively little book work or written exams.
thanks all.
Had a really good week with him last week, couple of interviews, lots of chat and listening. He got offered a Business admin apprenticeship and at the same time, a local college were great in talking him through an Accounting course (he's relatively strong at numbers). The course would lead to a Level 3 AAT qualification so sets him up nicely next year if he passes. College were really supportive so he started today!
I've suggested he goes for that big time, and then next summer, volunteering abroad for a few months ... fingers crossed!
All sounds positive 🙂