[Closed] What is your relationship with your parents like?

Pretty good, we never really have any problems. Don't usually have anything to say to Dad though as we don't really have much in common!

Always had a good relation with my parents. My dad died last year and I still miss him and visit my mum 2 to 3 times a week. On the other hand I have a brother that only lives 5 miles away and I only ever see him once a month if i'm lucky.

love the old chap to bits and him me, though he doesn't have much to say since his stroke 7 years ago. unfortunately i don't see him much cos he still lives with the attention seeking, selfish, sour faced old bag that is my mom.

EDIT: father-in-law is ace and mother-in-law was even better (i considered her to be my mom) but sadly she died 16 years ago. edited that bit in to show i'm not a complete heartless bastard!

Basically good but my mother becomes harder work each year - obstreperous old bat who never listens!

Shit.....

dads and arsehole and mum's an overworked wreck

the attention seeking, selfish, sour faced old bag that is my mom.

😕 Why do people speak like that ? .....there's no need for it.

Unless you're a Yank, it's m[u]U[/u]m not m[u]O[/u]m.

big-chief-96 - Member
Shit.....

dads and arsehole and mum's an overworked wreck

my brothers a ****t who goes through moodswings like a woman my dads like my best friend and my mums a workaholic

My dad's definitely.... eccentric. He 'collects' stuff. Bits of wood. Stuff out of skips. Broken pub signs. Hundreds of cars - some vintage, but he specialises in taxis. But also broken curtain rails, sheets of manky plastic, 40 of every kind of tool (who really needs six engine hoists or eight trolley jacks?!).

It's all a bit 'Life of Grime' and I fully expect to find him living in tunnels of old newspapers one day. All quite harmless until he moved house last month and muggins here was the only member of the family willing to help. Things were said which can never be unsaid 😯

Everything I put in the skip (we got through six) got pulled out and fondled, before being squirreled away in a far corner of the garden. I ended up starting a fire and burning anything flammable.

He managed to find a massive barn which he has rent free for a year, in exchange for a vintage Ferguson tractor. It is now stuffed to the roof with assorted sh1te, mostly squeezed in by me.... There's just no talking to him - there's a small piece of his brain which works differently to everyone else's.

And breathe.

I get on really well with my mum, we can go a week or two without seeing or talking to each other, but never more, and we take the kids around as much as possible, but she only lives 10 miles down the road.
I get on really well with my step dad but then I've known him since I was 4.

My real dad died just under 5 years ago, I hadn't seen him since I was 1 so never knew him. I did some searching and had an idea where he lived but this was only confirmed when his sister made contact to tell me he had died. I considered going to the funeral, but as he has 2 other sons from his second failed marriage, it wasn't really my place to go. I'll visit his grave one day when I'm passing by, but I don't really have much of a call to go to Stoke.

Spot on thanks, never a problem. Both the best parents I can imagine wishing for. Wouldn't change a thing.

Family split (messy, get a solicitor kids, oops wrong thread) when I was eight.
He moved 5 miles away and promptly didn't see him much (at all) for around twelve years. Finally made the effort myself, once old enough, yeah, he's OK. Nice bloke and all.
Ma was only really guilty of being passive, never forced me to or not to go see him. Personally I think he should have made the effort.

Now get on with Ma very well (she's on the other side of the planet) and my Da (also a world away), well, I've called him a few times in the past four years, at the start really, and he couldn't move on fast enough.
My two kids don't know him and would be (will be) very confused when they realise that Grampy Phil, isn't. However, at this point in their early life, they have a full compliment of grandparents (one extra gran actually) all of which take an interest in who they are on a regular basis.
When one of the kids asks me to explain I will, no half truths or bull, and should they want to meet him (and he's still around and we can afford the flight) then we'll do that too. As I've said, nice enough bloke.
But parenting is an investment, and I've only had him around me for about 12 birthdays in my life (late 30's) - I just don't have the attachment.

And, I'm sure there's a lot of you who think I'm callous, that I should make more effort if only for the kids etc, and I'll regret it when he's gone (not true). Well, think of this, I can't put a lifetime of ups and downs into one post, and I'm happy with where we're at and the level of understanding that the kids have.

Anyway, my advice? Don't take any advice, every relationship is different.

Crap. Haven't seen or spoken to my Dad in 20 years, until he tried to get in contact this year, he was ignored.
Mam has a peculiar way of compartmentalising things, which generally means ignore! She also refuses to support any ideas which don't agree with hers and will try to make life awkward until she gets her way. All very subtle.
Sister, if you can't say anything good...

Family in name only.

My mother died when I was two. My father was a spineless coward who stood by and allowed his new wife and her mother to treat me abominably. He died when I was 21. During a particularly bad period of depression I turned to my aunt for support, she wrote me a letter saying I should 'pull my socks up' - very helpful - NOT. It's taken me most of my life to recover from the mental and physical neglect/abuse and has left me with a deep distrust of 'grown-ups' (even though I am, technically, a grown-up myself). Families - pfft.

Wonderful - they made me who I am today and even through tough teenage years I respected them both. As a family we regularly get together (both brothers and all kids etc very regularly for Sunday meals etc). Lost dad last January but still see mum all the time, call her regularly during the week etc.

I hope I am as respected by my girls when they grow up as I do/did my mum and dad.

Is/was really good. Most weekends as a kid and teenager away around UK and Europe with them at motocross meetings probably helped.

Mananged to work with the old man from 22 until 32 without falling out (much) RIP.

I have had 3 fathers:

1. Father 1 my alcoholic dad until I was 16. Hated him.
2. Father 2 same guy now sober - he was superb we got on really well had a really good relationship (well once I forgave him for first 16 years). He died when I was 22.
3. Dad 3 my step dad also really good guy in different ways love him to bits.

My mum has been there all the time I get on great with her, but I only see them for intensive month at a time every couple of years, which makes it easier I think !

Both now dead.
I flew back from New Zealand for my dad's funeral (loads of pressure from my wife to do so, something about burying demons - how very apt). I'm glad I did, I got to literaly spit on his grave.
My mum died suddenly a year later. I enjoyed the week compasionate leave from work (I was permanently back in the UK) bike riding. I didn't go to the funeral. My resentment fell short of spitting on that grave.
I think that pretty much sums up my relationships with my parents.
**I feel I should Post Script for balance***
I can say with absolute certainty that if my daughter were asked the same question of me she'd tell you that her dad is the absolute best in the world and that would be because I am. Sorry current dads of the world. You're not as good as me.

How sad

Absolutely fantastically well. Dad's coming over to help me lay some slabs on Wednesday and we're going for lunch there on Sunday 'cos it's been a while.

They've been, and continue to be brilliant.

Amazinlgy supportive parents even though i am a complete **** up. I aspire to be like them when i grow old(er). I do feel a guilty sometimes as they are so genarous and i'm not convinced i deserve it but hey ho.
Thanks Mumsie and Big Daddy D

Dad is one of my best friends, even my mates invited him to their wedding and sat him down at the boys table for the entertainment that was in it. He's instilled some very wise words into me and i can only hope that my kids love me as much as I love him. He's just turned 75 and spent the last couple of months Skiing in Cervinia, visiting me for my grad ceremony in NZ and is currently cruising on the Norwegian fjords.
Mum is getting a bit forgetful and is on her 5th marriage and rues the day she left Dad. funny old world innit?

Mum is getting a bit forgetful and is on her 5th marriage

Pretty damn good.
My old man was a proper role model to me (still is), he worked hard, he played a lot of sport and he adored his kids. I see him and Mom (not Mum, everyone around here says Mom!) most weeks, he watches me play football and is/has helped me sort my new house out.
My old dear is also pretty damn good, she can't do enough for me and my brother and also keeps my dad in check as well.

My girlfiends folks are also great, in fact i arguabley get on better with them than she does.

[b]mastiles_fanylion[/b] i lol'd

Very good off on holiday with them on Saturday well defiently my mother Dad is having an off time at the minute following his heart problems earlier in the year. We nearly lost him, it was an awful month, I have every memory of what went on remember what was said, how he looked, heart rhythms he was in and things that were said. I have absoulutely no idea of the days though but I'm told by my wife I did a 60hr plus stint with him at two different hospitals.

**** going have to stop now tears in eyes.

All in all my parents are good guys but my Dad wasn't great with kids and was more interested in his career than us - never seemed very interested in what I was up to really. My Mum use to lash out and hit me when annoyed with me - looking back it sometimes seemed closer to violence than discipline. I wonder if the lack of confidence I had for many years was due to the way my parents were to me - and also my willingness to hit people! I'm fine now though....

They're dead, I'm not.

Have to be careful not to end up with a lengthy rant suffice to say:-
My Dad was adopted after being left in a Salv' Army hostel in the East end,in the early fifties.
From what I can gather he didn't have a good childhood as my granddparents had no idea about parenting and there were little checks made on adpotive parents back then.

My Mum comes from the most southern and repressed family I've ever come accross (she thinks Gay people are a myth, deppressed people just need to pull their socks up, people with tattos are obviously suicidal...etc).

End result, my Dad just ignored me for the majority of my life when it transpired I was (at the time) crap at sport so we had nothing in common. Mum never aproved of anything I ever did and didn't listen to a single thing I told her- had no idea what degree I did at uni for example.

I see them twice a year for friendly chat with two elderly middle class people I hardly know - spent a day painting my sisters bedroom with my Dad a few months ago, eight hours in a ten by eight room and three words said the whole time.

Monksie, sorry but you're wrong, because the best dad in the world is mine. He's also the best grandad, FWIW.

If I'm half as good a Dad to my girls as he is to his children, I'll be happy. Saw them yesterday, mum made lunch for nine of us; my family of 4 and my sister and her husband and daughter. Then the kids raided his strawberry patch and kicked footballs into his rhubarb until he finally gave up and told them to stop. Then he had a snooze and they carried on. Rhubarb's shit anyway, and he knows it.

My Mum borrowed a shot of my son and had it enlarged a few times.... Jesus BIG and framed all the shots. Yesterday I had to stop at the in laws delivering these large framed-photos.

Can you imagine a picture of my son is going to dwarf pictures of their own more immediate off-spring 😆

I think that says it all about my Mother.

Mother - get on very well. See more frequently now (at leat half a dozen times a year) and email; speak at least once a week. Most of the things I hold dear in my life (including riding bikes), I got from her.

Father - get on well, but I've recently realised that we see the world quite differently. He's very private, and leads an odd double life. I'm more open and only want the life I have with Mrs North. He's a nice chap, but hard to know.

I see my Mum once a week. Sheesh, if she had her way it would be daily 8)

Father? I don't want to be the sameway or repeat any of the same mistakes. Im alot warmer, easy-going and easy to apologise compared to him.

Does anybody else find it remarkable how easily some forum members are willing to spill the beans about intimate details of sensitive relationships, to (virtually) complete strangers? Or is it just me.

It's cheaper than group therapy.

Does anybody else find it remarkable how easily some forum members are willing to spill the beans about intimate details of sensitive relationships, to (virtually) complete strangers? Or is it just me.

I'm immensely proud of my mum and dad. It's not like spilling the beans, it's telling everyone how great they are.

Does anybody else find it remarkable how easily some forum members are willing to spill the beans about intimate details of sensitive relationships, to (virtually) complete strangers? Or is it just me.

not really, its about the best medium to deliver this kind of detail. Its relatively anonymous, likely to ellicit symapthy rather than scorn and there's always someone with a more horrible/depressing story than you.

My relationship with my mum is strained and pretty much always has been. She was pretty much left to bring us kids up on her own when we were little and she found it pretty tough and there were some bad situations, I'll say no more than that.

Things were kind of improving about 5 years ago until she revealed that my dad wasn't my real dad and now I don't think we'll ever have a 'normal' relationship. We see her about once a month and my 2 kids love her to bits and she loves them so its become an issue that I've decided to accept.

If I've learned anything in this life its that the relationship with your children is just about the most important thing and therefore I'm trying to make sure that all the mistakes, anger and frustration I encountered when I was a kid is absent from the my lads upbringing.

mine are sound. never had a problem with them, getting to know them better as I get older, they're very supportive, but i don't tell them much about my life. no point in worrying them.

I'm with [url= http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=178055 ]Larkin[/url]

I'd summarise my relationship with them by saying it's too complex to go into on here

not really, its about the best medium to deliver this kind of detail. Its relatively anonymous,

And hello to Pedalhead my brother-in-law...!
😯

But then I'm not shy and would tell my dad the situation if I felt it would help it or him - as it is it's a sleeping dog which is best left.

Shocking:
My dad died when I was 7; my mum and he divorced when I was 4 and my mum was a bit difficult to live with after both those life events.
My mum and I have not seen eye to eye since I was in junior school. On the good days I put this down to her life events and upbringing (cold parents and a nasty boarding school) but on bad days I wonder if she's not, well... a bit mentally unbalanced.
I probably only see her once a year, although she is invited to my wedding on condition that she bahaves.

I'm sure I'm not the easiest son to live with either, but my brother is actually harder to live with and she and him get along ok.

Maybe it's just me?

Dad committed suicide over 20 years ago - never got over Mum leaving him.

My mother is weird. Self-centered, arrogant and I see her very infrequently. Safe topics of conversation are the weather and... nope can't think of anything else that's safe to discuss with her

thank heaven one gets to choose one's friends

FACK 😯

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Basically good but my mother becomes harder work each year - obstreperous old bat who never listens!

Sorry to make light of a serious topic, but HAH!

My Mum is decent, caring, somewhat neurotic, but doesn't really understand me very well - nothing too remarkable. My Dad is a lot more like me but quieter and keeps his head down. We get on ok but they don't have a huge part in my life unfortuantely. We see them every few weeks at most. Although they are keen to get more involved with my daughter with babysitting and so on, which I would love since I didn't know my grandparents very well.

Wierd for me, from my point of view my mother has always attempted to belittle me and then demanded to be treated as some kind of matriarch and my father has followed the path of least resistance and backed her.

I have just tried to be civil, but last year it broke down when my parents visited me on the way back from a trekiing holiday. When finding us busy with work and newborn twins, they didn't receive the red carpet treatment they thought they deserved she blew up and we all fell out massivley and I was accused of abusing her since I was 6!

I have gone back again to being civil but don't go out of my way with either of them, they are both pretty selfish people and we live 250 miles appart so they probably see us every 3 to 6 months now

My Dad had serious health problems from shortly before I was born until his death when I was 20. Despite that he worked incredibly hard to look after us and make sure we'd be ok once he was gone - in retrospect I think he knew he'd die young and so did everything in his power to be the best father, husband and son in the time he had. He wasn't always easy to live with and he had quite a short fuse but he cared so much and tried so hard. He was the big boss at a manufacturing company and the factory all but shut down so the workers could come to his funeral and I'll never forget the outpouring of warmth for how he'd been as a boss and a colleague. I'm so glad I knew him for 20 years and it makes me so sad to read of those whose parents have behaved in such an almost opposite manner.

My mum struggled for years after his death but she's doing pretty well now. She'd take a bullet for either of her sons and I'd say we're very close despite living across the length of England. She's a little bit eccentric and challenging but she does always mean well!

I do wonder if my parents' behaviour was partly as a result of my Dad having almost died in the earlier years of their marriage, spending months and months seriously ill before diagnosis and then longer still in hospital teetering on the edge. That kind of experience when all your friends are living a more typical carefree 20something life has to have a profound effect on you.

pleasant.. and sexual... VERY sexual..

molgrips - Member

"Basically good but my mother becomes harder work each year - obstreperous old bat who never listens!"

Sorry to make light of a serious topic, but HAH!

I thought that might amuse someone! I am actually the sensible easy going non argumentative one in my family.

Mum died when I was 16 and dad lived in Canada but is also now dead.

Flipping eck!

Parents married at 18/21 (dad is older) and still happy. All very straightforward. Same with wife's parents.

My parents we were "fine" until I came out before Christmas. While we speak on the phone quite happily, we have not seen each other since. Quite what they think the neighbours would do, I'm not sure! (Mind you, they do live in Yeadon so anything is possible I guess...)

I think they are slowly coming around, they are even talking of visiting this weekend (right before I need to pack to go to Morzine grr...).

Sister-in-law is at a whole other level - she went absolutely mental and I think she's worried about what I might do to the kids or something - it's bonkers!!

Rachel

I learnt so much from my father. Mainly all the things not to do as a parent.

Seen him once in 20 years (12 years ago).

You never know what is around the corner, but I can say with some degree of certainty that my relationship with my kids will end up differently.

It was good. Both passed away when I was in early teens. Miss them.

Confusing. Stable childhood in what ostensibly was a 'good' family. Wasn't exactly close to my parents in a confiding, pally sort of way, my dad was pretty strict and i alwasy felt like i was disappointing him. I did go out of my way to disappoint him a few times just to be sure 😆 They encouraged me to what i wanted but i dunno it was all a bit lacklustre. I'll gloss over last year, suffice to say my dad died and he wasn;t the father i thought he was and I'm still coming to terms with all that. My mum has been amazing and like a flower she has flourished and shown herself to be a strong, independent, funny and truly awesome person - we have a great time now and for that I am thankful. Sorry, i'm in tears now so i'll stop because the rest of the office are looking at me weird 😕

Strange - teenage years I was a horrible c--t, stressed things to the limit of breaking.
Moved out quickly - relationship improved a lot, but I was on a naughty pathway in life that meant my priorities were different and my family didn't need to be involved.
Made the decision to leave the country and start afresh - relationship improved no end. No we get on really well, even when back, living in their flat because it was the only economical way to return.

Brother - 9 years older - never really saw him much, never got on that well, couldn't really care less. Now though, when we meet up once every few months it's ok. Both are grown up. He is very succesful though and I still feel like the well aimed w__k.

Sister - really close when I was younger, took care of me and tried to keep me on the straight and narrow. Now though - has her own family and is only focuses on them, we ( the rest of the family) are a handy nuisance.

Strange how it changes.