So, looks like the wedding might actually happen after covid cancellations. As an older couple who joined two houses we gave a lot of stuff! Why do people insist on buying a present and what the hell should I put on the list? Not completely at ease with asking for money. Points for unusual things you’ve been gifted, not expensive would also be good!
I found that regardless of what you want, there will always be people who expect a wedding list.
If there's nothing you want, nominate a charity?
Bikes
We just told people we didn’t want any presents when we got married. Then the few we did get were small personal things that meant something and had been thought about.
Didn’t do the nominating a charity thing because that seems to me to be taking credit for other people giving money. If they want to then they can do that off their own backs.
Put on the invite "Please, no presents".
If anyone insists, it's cold hard cash. 😁
That’s a boat we are currently in…
We have everything we need, and are very lucky to be in a position where we neither want or need anything meaningful.
Parents keep wanting to throw money at us, friends ask about Wedding list.
All we want is people to come to an evening do and enjoy themselves.
The fact they’ve made the effort to turn up is gift enough in our eyes.
If people are insistent then we’re asking for a donation to animal charities but leaving it up to the donor to pick.
It’s lovely that people want to contribute and it’s difficult to say no thanks. Genuinely peoples time is the best gift they can give, let them know!!
We were in a similar position of having loads of ‘stuff’ already. We came up with a bunch of activities and things we wanted to do on our honeymoon, and added them to an online list so while yes people were giving us money, they knew what it was going to be used for and it meant we could do a few more things together on the trip than we would otherwise have been able to.
If anyone insists, it’s cold hard cash. 😁
AKA "contributions towards the honeymoon."
Vouchers for holiday?
Oh, yeah, and,
Congratulations.
Ahh, this was easy for us. We asked for contributions for the tandem. Some friends specifically wanted to buy the saddles so we would think of them every time we sat on it 😀. Also quite good as there were various price points for each part so it didn’t feel like we were asking people to stretch their pockets. Hard up but still want to buy us something? Fine, we need gear cables - long ones! Could even split the frame into 3 gifts as it’s S&S coupled and in three pieces, you could buy the front, mid section or rear.
Some of my mates got us a trip in a sea plane out to a deserted island with a big seafood platter, wine, etc. The plane dropped us off and came back a few hours later. That was pretty cool.
We gave a restored (by me) Anglepoise lamp (as well as some cash)to a friends daughter as we/I wanted to give them something a bit more personal than what was on their list.
I have to say given what people choose to spend on weddings it does seem a bit strange to then ask for loads of presents. Just spend a bit less!
Obviously this doesn’t apply to everyone. Certainly didn’t apply to us. But I would have felt very strange asking people for gifts when we clearly didn’t need them.
We gave a restored (by me) Anglepoise lamp (as well as some cash)to a friends daughter as we/I wanted to give them something a bit more personal than what was on their list.
The risk with this is that, unless you know them very well, a 'personal' gift from the giver's perspective can often be a 'WTF?' thing from the recipient's.
Your friend's daughter, for example, may now be lumbered with an Anglepoise lamp that she never wanted...
I'm of the opinion that wedding gifts are for couples who are setting up and not established. This could be a young couple or and older one depending on your situation.
If you are already established just ask for charity donations. Asking for stuff when already established is rude imo.
We gave a restored (by me) Anglepoise lamp (as well as some cash)to a friends daughter as we/I wanted to give them something a bit more personal than what was on their list.
This also seems weird to me. I'm sure in your case it was well received 😉 but it sounds like a recipe for disaster. The couple spend time working out what they want/ need to ensure nobody wastes time and money, and that they don't end up with a house full of crap that they don't want but daren't throw out for years in case the vendor pops round unannounced.
We gave a restored (by me) Anglepoise lamp (as well as some cash)to a friends daughter as we/I wanted to give them something a bit more personal than what was on their list.
This also seems weird to me. I'm sure in your case it was well received 😉 but it sounds like a recipe for disaster. The couple spend time working out what they want/ need to ensure nobody wastes time and money, and that they don't end up with a house full of crap that they don't want but daren't throw out for years in case the giver pops round unannounced.
Dupepost//
I can't remember what was on our list. Think it was a department store of some description, probably John Lewis.
Would be awesome if the LBS did a wedding list!
Like the idea of the honeymoon excursions if that works with your plans. Most people understand that when you're not 'starting out' you don't necessarily need anything and just asking for cash/vouchers is more a 'thing' nowadays.
The risk with this is that, unless you know them very well, a ‘personal’ gift from the giver’s perspective can often be a ‘WTF?’ thing from the recipient’s.
Well Duh!,obvs and all that.
#Knowyouraudience 😉 🙂
Would be awesome if the LBS did a wedding list!
No reason why not, there are a few online services that allow you to create wishlists for anywhere, online or not.
eg:
https://giftwhale.com/
I we got a angle-grinder as a wedding present. A very useful thing to have around....
Vouchers for travel or meals if anyone pushes it? Value of experiences rather than products.
Not vouchers, never vouchers. They're restrictive, easily lost and have a valid until date. How shops get away with the Latter I have no idea. I'm sure they're nice little earner when people forget or lose them.
#pethate
"The only gift we could wish for is your company on our special day".
Make a stand against wedding cost inflation. I am now old, bitter and twisted but younger friends still doing the wedding circuit seem to be regularly shafted for hundreds and hundreds for increasingly oot stag/hen dos. Then the cost of attending the wedding (clothes/hotels/the bar bill). You are already costing them a shit ton just inviting them along to make your day feel special - let that be gift enough.
Nope - wedding gifts are from a bygone era when people married young and were setting up home for the first time after getting hitched. Then when people started getting married when all already set up the gift list got full toys. It's deeply uncool to ask friends to buy you toys. So don't.
Wedding pre COVID. The stag do was easily £300 a head and that was when a few of us reigned it back in. Then best man suggests that the lad should chip in £100 each for a present. Chuffing daft.
We had No Gifts on the invite as people spend enough on just being there what with travel, clothes, accomodation etc.
Despite that some of our friends still brought along cash or a bottle single malt.
Just be wary of 3rd party gift registries if they take any money. We had some acquaintances whose provider went *bang* just after their wedding.
They'd received some parts of their order, but most was just dealt with as a 1p in the £ creditor.
If memory serves, they even got part of their marital bed delivered, then it went bust, and because the bed supplier hadn't been paid, the rest of the bed never showed up 😕
We had a wedding list at the local bike shop:0)
People kept asking about gifts, as nothing was mentioned on our invitation, so we ended up having a gift list at John Lewis too.
People don’t keep asking about gifts if you tell them not to give you one!
When we got married we specifically asked for nothing and for people to wear what they wanted. For traditional, massive ball ache church affairs (followed by a reception and night do) it is my firm belief that the guests should be given extravagant gifts as compensation for having to waste a whole day.