[Closed] Urine simmering incidents. Stick your rants here.

Alan Sugar - his face just irritates me. Miserable, grouchy swine. Looks like a live action Oscar the Grouch. Either grow a real beard or shave that crap off of your old testicle looking face. See also Gordon Ramsey. Face like a leather wallet that's been lost at sea for a decade. Both seem to make a living from being a bit angry, just don't get it.

Thomas the Tank Engine. Hope my son never gets in to it. There's an episode where they entomb an engine in a tunnel because he wants to break the Sodor sentient train caste system. WTF is that all about?

My penis is clean, my urine is sterile, there are probably millions of fecal coliforms on the taps in the toilets......

so are mine but i still wash after ive been.
taps are automatic...so no need to touch them

My penis is clean, [b]my urine is sterile[/b], there are probably millions of fecal coliforms on the taps in the toilets.......

No it isn't.

Cycling into town in the sun yesterday at around 5pm I had a pretty convincing punishment pass from a local builder's crew bus.
A short distance further on there was a cycle route that gets me off the road and cuts out about 3/4 mile of heavy traffic. I get into Didcot, stop at a red light and then realise the vehicle behind me is close, very close and still moving uphill towards me. He hits my rear wheel at a couple of MPH and and when I turn around it is the same crew bus that bruised past me.
I wasn't happy but wagged a finger and carried on.
I seethed a lot and finally contacted his employers - Boshers of Cholsey - to explain what had happened. It will be interesting to see their response when the MD i back. Should I mention this to the police as well? They can't really do anything but at least it will be on record. I'm also going to contact local cycle groups on Facebook and Twitter to see if the driver has form. Any other suggestions.
Mt pi55 is starting to cool down 24hrs later.

people who think its acceptable to stop for a chat in the aisles of supermarkets, while stood between their trolleys. Most aisles are wide enough for 4 trolleys abreast, so feel free to chat, just leave room for others to get past.

Err... It probably is....

I sometimes wash before a wazz, who wants dirty hands all over their john thomas.

All I could hear in the adjacent office this morning:

"and I was like.... yeah, and he was like.... no, and I was like.... whatever, and I was like..... shocked.......like get over it...."

Since when has the word [b]like[/b] been used every other word to describe a conversation.....

GRRRRR......

I sometimes wash before a wazz, who wants dirty hands all over their john thomas.

I suspect you mean before a wee, but wazz meant something else when I was at school.

wazz = wee, see also whizz.

Another thing...

Otherwise great smartphones that will only charge from one particular lead in the whole sodding world.

people who think its acceptable to stop for a chat in the aisles of supermarkets, while stood between their trolleys. Most aisles are wide enough for 4 trolleys abreast, so feel free to chat, just leave room for others to get past.

It never ceases to amaze me how one person can single-handedly block off an entire eight-foot aisle, or how often it happens.

All I could hear in the adjacent office this morning:

"and I was like.... yeah, and he was like.... no, and I was like.... whatever, and I was like..... shocked.......like get over it...."

I've a mate who tells tales thus, "so I turned around and said... so he turned around and said... so then I turned around and did this..." I have a mental image him and his accomplice conducting a conversation, both continually revolving on the spot.

Divorcee next door was lonely, despite have three kids at home, and being out with her mates most nights of the week. Sooo... she decides to get a dog, a springer. On the whole it's well looked after, but as soon as it's left on its own, all lonely like, and is able to get into the living room where it can see the street and people, it starts barking until someone is home.

Tad annoying and f***ing selfish to be lonely and leave an attention needy breed all alone all day when she and the kids are out.

Tad=massively, in this case.

This victim blaming press release from the Road Haulage Association https://www.rha.uk.net/news/press-releases/2016-09-september/rha-reservations-over-mayor’s-plan-to-cut-cycling

I sometimes wash before a wazz, who wants dirty hands all over their john thomas.

Thats the difference between the working class (wash hands before a wee) and the middle class (wash hands after a wee).

The upper class pay a call-girl to wee on them 😯

But this is one of my bugbears at the local climbing wall. Dirty mingers waltz straight out of the khazi and onto the wall, so I have to crimp down on their pubic residue for the rest of the evening.

F***ers who bleed on the wall but don't tell anyone who works there so the next poor bugger along has to crimp on their bloodstains. That's a bit more disgusting that a miniscule amount of pubic residue

I've caught one one shirt-off-w**ker at Rokt doing this a couple of times now and the gormless moron doesn't seem to understand why I was calling him out on it

The dozy old shit in the blue bmw 5 series who near enough took the skin off my elbow in a close pass today.

Arrrggggggh!

[img] [/img]

Think I just waved my arms in a disgusted fashion though.

Assorted pricks that display behaviour related to this image. I love arguing with this **** as well. "IF I WANT TO PARK HERE I ****ING WILL. STOP PHOTOGRAPHING MY CAR YOU PERVERT.**** OFF" trolololol.

[IMG] [/IMG]

Edit: Taken adjacent to 3 full size, vacant parking spaces.Disgraceful spunknugget.

Stevet1 - Member
wazz = wee, see also whizz

wazz = stroke (non-medical kind)
whizz = amphetamines

HTH

Pavement clutter. On the rare stretch of pavement not obstructed by cars and vans, there are sandwich boards. Why do places with a huge shop window and more often than not a sign hanging above the door see the need to block 3/5ths of the pavement?!!
Also, bicycles with signs on them for some shop or other, locked up at a cycle rack - argh!

Likewise on the irresponsible dog purchases. People who buy a dog but can't be bothered to walk them and never take them with them when going out, so guess what, the dog is whining and barking all day long while they're out. Of course they claim the dog is happy and never does this, because they are not home to witness it.

When a prisoner comes to the office on the wing & starts his sentence (see what I did there) with either, 'are you listening?' or, 'obviously'.

spunknugget

That is going to be used by me at work from now on. 😈

Power cuts! Haven't had em for decades, now 2 today. It really is rather irritating and doesn't do my NAS much good.

people that order deliveries,with no house number you can see.
So you have to walk up to every door in the street at night, and are always late for the rest of your customers
They can afford 200k for a house, but cant afford a number sign

And nights when you cant sleep

4power cuts now. Urine is bubbling out of the pan and dribbling over the gas hob

Local football teams and supporters who leave plastic bottles, take away coffee cups and metres of insulation tape on the side of the pitch after a match. TAKE IT HOME OR PUT IT IN THE BIN,

When a prisoner comes to the office on the wing & starts his sentence (see what I did there) with either, 'are you listening?' or, 'obviously'.

who wants dirty hands all over their john thomas.

Arseholes who let fireworks off at 2315 on a Saturday night in a residential area when I have a dog who is terrified of them and a 9 day old baby who won't settle for the next hour. I hope they blow up in your face you inconsiderate ****. Next time I'm going to track down your house and put a f*****g arsenal of the things through your letter box.

[quote=alric ]people that order deliveries,with no house number you can see.

I have been meaning to make one for the last 20 years, honest 😳 Though in my defence, the houses both sides do have numbers and it doesn't seem to cause the delivery men a particular problem (we also often help them out by taking in parcels for neighbours - they seem to know what number we are when signing for them).

Rob Hilton - Member
Stevet1 - Member
wazz = wee, see also whizz
wazz = stroke (non-medical kind)
whizz = amphetamines

HTH

wazz - wee
whizz - speed

No wonder entire generations get messed up...

I have been meaning to make one for the last 20 years, honest Though in my defence, the houses both sides do have numbers and it doesn't seem to cause the delivery men a particular problem (we also often help them out by taking in parcels for neighbours - they seem to know what number we are when signing for them).

So I was leading a race today and doing really well when my engine blew up AGAIN! and I was like Waah!!!!!... ..oh wait. That wasn't me.
I cycled to the riverside upon my favourite bike in the sunshine and had a cider whilst looking at the ducks.
My urine is officially tepid today.

Mine seem to be mainly commute related.. People who close-pass (or do something else daft) that have * BIKE CARRIERS on their * ROOF!!! * sake MAN! I have no bloody chance if other cyclists are trying to take me out on the way to work.

There's a bloke near me with an Audi A6 estate with no less than 4 Thule Prorides constantly on his roof (never seen any bikes on there mind) that close passed me twice in a week once. If he gets a third strike I'm going to follow him home rip his left wing mirror off and * burst him al owa with it.

Latest edition:
I organise a fell race race. Been doing it for 5 years. It's based at a small pub near the moors. It's a small event and low key with a limited entry due to only being able to fit 100 or so people in pub. When I first started it the landlord and landlady were ace. They put free chip butties on and plied me with free drinks all night as they really appreciated me bringing a load of business to the pub on a Fri night in Feb.
Pub has changed hands and new landlady is complete opposite. Makes it very plain that she thinks she's doing me a favour. I went to see her last night to get the event booked into their diary and she won't put the chip butties on (she did them last year but I paid through the nose for them).
I don't want to put the price of the entry up. The route of the race is good and now established (its become a mini cult classic). There is nowhere else I can host it to keep the same route.
FFS, they must take more on that one night in Feb than they do in the whole of the bloody month. I just can't understand the attitude. Grrrr!!!