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[Closed] Toast

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You have to leave the toast to cool a bit, in the toaster, otherwise when you put it on your plate, you get a layer of condensation on the plate, thus making the bottom surface of the toast slightly damp.

Surely you wrap your toast in a napkin then place it in the bread basket prior to consumption?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 10:26 am
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Toasty means warm, therefore toast should be eaten warm.
Out of the toaster, onto the breadboard, butter on, then the topping.

Peanut better, marmite, (or both), jam, honey, pate or cheese. Your choice, so long as the toast is still warm.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 11:32 am
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I'm literally catching the toast as it pops up, on the board, butter on and Marmite on and first bite within a matter of seconds.

this!

and woe betide anyone who inadvertently gets in the way as i race the 10ft from the toaster to the butter 😆

nb. plates are a bit of a waste of effort too. just eat it over the sink and get out to work like a normal person


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 11:33 am
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On the scone thing, I have no particular affiliation either way. Rather, it's one of practicality. Spreading jam onto a scone is easy, as is then spreading cream onto a jammy scone. Trying to spread jam onto half an inch of cream is like biting into a a vanilla slice.

Is the correct answer. I have conducted trials, and if the aim (as it should be) is to maximise the quantity of clotted cream, then an even, thick layer of jam allows for the cream to be dolloped on top, in industrial quantities.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 11:54 am
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and woe betide anyone who inadvertently gets in the way as i race the 10ft from the toaster to the butter

I look to your sub-optimally designed toast preparation area with mild disdain.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:06 pm
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To any entrepreneur reading this - I offer the idea of a four-slice toaster which ejects slices at one-minute intervals, in exchange for a promise of one of the first production batch. Do we have a deal?

Also have none of you lot discovered Vegemite? Like Marmite, but tasty.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:06 pm
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Also have none of you lot discovered Vegemite? Like Marmite, but [s]tasty[/s] for weedy wimps who can't handle the real thing .

FTFY.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:24 pm
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I've never actually had Vegemite. What's it like? I figure it's basically mild Marmite, but...?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:27 pm
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Designed by the Antipodeans to actually be eaten unlike the stuff that was actually supposed to be thrown away....


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:30 pm
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Vegemite? Foreign muck. #wewantourcountryback


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:30 pm
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I've never actually had Vegemite. What's it like?

The earwax of a feral cat, much like Marmite.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:31 pm
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To any entrepreneur reading this - I offer the idea of a four-slice toaster which ejects slices at one-minute intervals, in exchange for a promise of one of the first production batch. Do we have a deal?

Kickstarter. I'm in.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:37 pm
 sbob
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doris5000 - Member

and woe betide anyone who inadvertently gets in the way as i race the 10ft from the toaster to the butter

Why would your butter dish be so far from your toaster, unless it was in your fridge?!

You have been outed, and may leave at your earliest convenience.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:37 pm
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Why would your butter dish be in the fridge?
Unless you are the-muffin-man and have it sliced..... in which case remove yourself from the human race post haste!


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:40 pm
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If the toast is cold, how will the chocolate sprinkles melt?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:42 pm
 D0NK
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Allowing the toast to cool a little aids more even application and subsequently a more enjoyable toast experience.
toast warms the marmite, makes it more spreadable, hence easier application.
cold toast is just hard bread, what's the point?
I offer the idea of a four-slice toaster which ejects slices at one-minute intervals
toaster needs to be prewarmed before putting your bread in so unless this is an incredibly complex toaster then doing it manually with a normal toaster.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:50 pm
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Buttering Hot or Cold? Depends on its final application, especially if intended for use as soldiers with egg.

Hot buttered toast makes for rather limp, floppy soldiers that just can’t penetrate to the oozing goodness that awaits the insertion of a nice firm soldier!!


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:53 pm
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I offer the idea of a four-slice toaster which ejects slices at one-minute intervals

I counter with the idea of dropping slices of bread into a four slice toaster at 1 minute intervals. 😉


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 12:59 pm
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Why would your butter dish be so far from your toaster, unless it was in your fridge?!

You have been outed, and may leave at your earliest convenience.

unfortunately it's a pretty tiny kitchen, so the toaster, along with the microwave, breadmaker and washing machine, have to go in this kind of side-room/back-kitchen bit. We only moved in a year ago and I want to just knock it all through but the wife demurs. I tried explaining about the ergonomics of toastmaking but, unbelievably, she still isn't convinced.

a four-slice toaster which ejects slices at one-minute intervals

I have always wished for one of these! 😀


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:10 pm
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[b]Cold toast![/b]
Out of my sight you [s]cretins[/s] croutons


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:16 pm
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So, this cold toast. You take a slice of bread, put it in the toaster, and heat/toast it, correct so far? On completion of the heat/toast cycle, you take it out of the toaster, and let it go cold, before buttering, ensuring the butter doesn't melt, before eating?

WTF is wrong with you? How long does all that palaver take? Do you get up extra early in order to account for the extra time?

(My first thought was that people buttered 'raw' bread before toasting, which is less weird than the above)


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:22 pm
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So, this cold toast. You take a slice of bread, put it in the toaster, and heat/toast it, correct so far? On completion of the heat/toast cycle, you take it out of the toaster, and let it go cold, before buttering, ensuring the butter doesn't melt, before eating?

Yes!

But the toast has to be stood uptight while cooling or one half gets soggy with condensation.

There is an optimum coldness though, past that it goes leathery.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:28 pm
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You'd think with that username you'd know better


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:30 pm
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If you reheat toast with marmite and butter it tastes like twiglets 🙂


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:30 pm
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But the toast has to be stood uptight while cooling or one half gets soggy with condensation.

There is an optimum coldness though, past that it goes leathery.


Are you my doppelgänger?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:45 pm
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So, this cold toast. You take a slice of bread, put it in the toaster, and heat/toast it, correct so far? On completion of the heat/toast cycle, you take it out of the toaster, and let it go cold, before buttering, ensuring the butter doesn't melt, before eating?

Yes!

But the toast has to be stood uptight while cooling or one half gets soggy with condensation.

There is an optimum coldness though, past that it goes leathery.

Pretty much. You don't let it go cold, just cool enough to facilitate the application of spreadables wihtout a) tearing the bread apart, and b) an uneven finish.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 1:46 pm
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the toast has to be stood uptight while cooling or one half gets soggy with condensation.

I see your problem here. You're making toast to look at.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 2:37 pm
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hot or cold?

both, thusly:

step1) put 2 slices of bread in a toaster, engage.

step2) when the toasting process has finished, quickly apply approx 100grams of crunchy peanut butter to 1 of the hot slices. eat.

step3) while eating, remove the second slice, and allow to cool.

step4) once you've eaten the peanut buttery slice, apply butter, then marmite to the cool slice, eat.

repeat this process 3 or 4 times a day.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 2:57 pm
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This thread has seen a great many members added to The List.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:11 pm
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Would this list be associated with The Wall by any chance?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:13 pm
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Hot, must be hot!


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:20 pm
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Hot toast + Cold marmalade. It's all about the contrast. Delicious.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:26 pm
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But if you butter hot toast you end up with a crappy limp thing that's gone from a nice doorstep thickness to 1mm thick and soggy! 😀


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:30 pm
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after the marmite slice there must also be a marmalade slice but using the marmite knife. the only way to clean the marmite knife is either on the fresh slice of toast before the marmalade goes on it (but only if you'll get a rollocking for contaminating the marmalade), or better still dip the marmite knife in the marmalade directly and it gets cleaned whilst spreading the marmalade.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:30 pm
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Or clean it 'inside' the toast itself. Just pierce the edge of the toast and slide the blade in and out a couple of times. Job done.

The subsequent random bite of marmite/marmalade combination just adds to the experience.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:35 pm
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Bet you cold toast eaters are the same vile scum that leave crumbs in the butter/spread/marmite jar


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:40 pm
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You toast the bread then leave it to cool evenly by propping one piece against the other creating a small savoury wig-wam. As mentioned it is important not to allow it to stand for two long as the crunch will turn to a chew.

Any application of Marmite or other yeast based substances is wrong and peanut butter should be left at the bottom on the monkey’s litter tray where they get it from.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 3:53 pm
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Well, what *do* you put on your toast then?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 4:32 pm
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Thick plastering of chilled, sea salt Brittany butter. On the luke warm toast. Obviously!


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 4:36 pm
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What he said. And Jam if it is your birthday.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 4:38 pm
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The other issue we have at oab_towers is the argument over marmalade.

New thread, or hijack this shame filled discussion?


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 4:42 pm
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Which argument would that be?

I make marmalade at home from the big orange and white tins of shredded fruit you can get.

It goes on croissants. Never toast.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 4:51 pm
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Delia advocates the toast triangle, referred to above as the wig wam. She knows about havin' it.

Wholemeal needs to be lukewarm for buttering whereas white can be lukewarm or cold. Lightly salted butter only as unsalted is as much use as unsalted bacon which is simply embarrassing.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 10:39 pm
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The argument, mr_stoner, is that I think marmalade should be full of shred. I also think could and should be made with a variety of citrus fruits.
Mrs_oab thinks it should be only orange and 'pick free'... Think shredless.


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 10:49 pm
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The instruction manual for my new German fridge imparts the following information - Your fridge contains zoned areas with differing temperatures suitable for storing foods in the optimum state. For example the upper door compartment will allow the storage of butter at a higher temperature so that it can be spread immediately. The decimated state of the toast I made earlier prompted by this thread proved that this information is factually incorrect. I feel I should have a warranty claim, it's no wonder there is still an element of mistrust regarding the Germans. 👿


 
Posted : 08/08/2016 10:51 pm
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