[Closed] Those ".... on board" things.

piles playing up today old cocker..... ❓

I always liked..."Live human veal cargo on board"

I'd like
"Banned and Uninsured Driver On Board"

I just see them and think "****t"

God I hate them too. It's like The idiot driver thinks I'm somehow actually going to try harder not to crash into them.

Don't have one for my car and mini-clubber

Seeing a few of those "powered by fairy dust" stickers on the chavs car around here.
Are they supposed to be cute?
Usually accompanied by fluffy pink dice and pink steering wheel covers!

Chavtastic!

surfer - Member

Seeing a few of those "powered by fairy dust" stickers on the chavs car around here.

Where can I buy one?

Dizzy's was the best
"DIZZY" in 10" high pink letters on both doors

I just see them and think "****t"

perhaps...although I'd like to think the truth is hen-packed husband onboard (the wife made me do it and I wasn't saying no to her when she had just gone through the labour stuff)

Isn't it alsi to say 'Beware, I may drive erratically across half a lane whilst rying to stop my toddler throwing food at me'?

Don't they all mean "bloke with fully functioning sperm on board"?

The wosrt is "Show dogs in transit"

SFW?

"I slow down for horses (but don't give a FF if you're on a bike)"

Often, if your car is without such a sticker the morons at my local-ish Tesco won't let you park in the "parent and child" bay despite the kiddie seat.
BTW Should it not say - parent on board?

I just see them and think "****t"

Is that what you tell people when you sell them to them? 😉

http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_238169_langId_-1_categoryId_165597

[i]Tiny person on board
No, it's a child, or a baby if you will. [/i]

I always thought that one was for people shipping midgets around?

[i]Princess on board[/i]
well you may mock, but if princess lady di had one of those on the back of her merc, that white Uno might not have had a pop after all...;)

Didn't they originate as a means of assisting fire crews et al think to look for a child when cutting people out of wrecked cars?

In spite of that, they do look tw*ttish, and people ought to spend a little less time on these and more time not crashing into each other.

Though, I have always considered getting one of the "Tiny person on board" for Mrs North who's a gigantic 4'10" and not visible from behind when she's driving.... 😀

Hate them too. Quite like the darwin fish though...

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I see these signs and adjust my driving style accordingly. Where no signs are displayed, I feel at liberty to ram the car off the road. This possibly explains why cyclists get such a rough time.

Must admit that when I see a baby seat in the back seats I do tend to back off further than normal.

So you drive too close normally?

My personal favourite is seeing them in the window of a Golf/Focus/Mondeo hanging 3 inches off the ar$e of the car in front at 85.

You don't give a **** about keeping the 'little person' alive so why the hell should we!

Hadn't considered the fire service use though, that actually makes some sense.

I pulled up at some lights the other day behind a car with a baby on board sticker in the back window. A lad in a souped up Corsa or some such came screaming down the hill and then pulled up really quickly behind me and the car (he ignored me on a bike obviously and just pulled alongside me). Then he saw another ****wit that he knew so he leaned on the horn a bit.

The woman in the back of the car got out, marched round to the back of the car and started having a go at him.
/broad lancastrian accent
"What you playing at? eh? eh? Baby on board"
/taps window where the sign is
"Baby on board, baby on board"

So that's what they're for.

So you drive too close normally?

No, I drive with just enough space to stop normally (proven quite a few ass-clenching times!). Enough space that I've been hit from behind twice while stopping for someone in front, both times having been rammed into the person in front by the tailgater behind. But when I see a kiddie on board I tend to double-check my distance more often and hang back further again just to be doubly sure. It's a strange response, I know.

both times having been rammed into the person in front by the tailgater behind

too close then?

I was advised in a work driver training thingy that the emergency services will always look for a "baby on board" sign and prioritise them in a multi-car accident. They look naff but if it can get my kids out the car faster than the 17 year old ned who caused the accident then I'm prepared to put up with it. - I've got "little princess on board" because they are most of the time 🙂

too close then?

Yes, thats right, i'm supposed to predict what the person behind is going to do and compensate for them possibly shoving me 2m forward too.... get real.

In actual fact on my second instance of this I saw the person behind had locked up and stretched out my stopping to the very last second (only left a metre before the car in front) to give the guy behind time to recover/stop/dodge but he never did. It's not my fault that he's too close to me and I'm going to do everything I can to prevent him hitting me. Once I've come to a halt there's sod all I can do about his impact.

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I always thought these signs meant

"you should modify your behaviour towards me and allow me greater access to space because i am special because i have a baby in the car. If you could also see fit to give way and allow me priority access to the earth's resources that would be greatly appreciated".

To be fair the signs do work on me though. I usually tend to think "oh look this ****'s covered their back windscreen with stickers, they probably haven't seen me in their mirror so i'd better allow them even more space"

Hadn't considered the fire service use though, that actually makes some sense.

the fire service hate them by all accounts - often there isn't a 'little princess' in the back and the fire service waste time/risk their lives by looking for them...

You technically shouldnt have to take any notice of the driver behind you's stopping distance if everyone is driving properly - it is their job to keep a safe distance. Yours is simply to ensure that you check where they are when you go for a lane change. It always seemed odd to me that, in the driving test, you're taught to look in the mirror before braking - you have no choice, you either stop for the lights or you do not. If you choose to stop for the lights and the person behind cannot stop, it is their fault. If you choose to go through the lights and get flashed by a signal cam, someone being close behind is not a legal defence.

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tankslapper, that's genius!

If someone is tailgating i try to increase the distance between myself and the car in front in order that i do not have to apply any harsh braking.

what cuckoo said.

CK - you really ought to drive in a way that mitigates the effect of a cretin going too fast/too close behind you - if not for their benefit, nor the guy in front, but yours.

in the driving test, you're taught to look in the mirror before braking

Are you? I don't remember being told to look in the mirror for braking, especially not an emergency stop. I was simply told to regularly monitor the rear view and wing mirrors (and occasionally have a look out the windscreen, while rolling a fag, drinking coffee and texting :lol:)

Deadly

Come on now, you never did a driving test....

Princess on board
well you may mock, but if princess lady di had one of those on the back of her merc, that white Uno might not have had a pop after all...;)

Haha, you've singlehandedly reprieved this thread Andyp.

Do they make ones that say "Snob on board"?

Come on now, you never did a driving test....

Didn't need to mate, we had piebalds in the garden. Only learned to drive when I couldn't get my hands on one here.

I'd like one that said keep your distance as I'm fed up of taking ppl to court for whiplash.

But getting aggro over signs?

Life is too short. If you're in a jam try to think of ways to improve soemething or plan your ride or ways of making more money!

Do they make ones that say "Snob on board"?

I'm sure I'd be justified in having "Cheeky Monkey on Board" 😆

When it comes to my son, what woudl I do? A marmoset is a small monkey, so....smaller marmoset on board?

#

what cuckoo said.

CK - you really ought to drive in a way that mitigates the effect of a cretin going too fast/too close behind you - if not for their benefit, nor the guy in front, but yours.

Oh I DO drive in a way that tries to mitigate that effect if possible, but I shouldn't need to, and whether they push me into the car in front makes no difference at all to my injuries/claim (both of which would be from the tailgater) so I do not drive concentrating on the guy behind and it isn't partially my fault if they shove me into someone else. Obviously it's nice to avoid though. The original point was thomthumb suggested I drive too close if I was shoved into the back of someone else. In actual fact, both times I have been hit from behind I had almost got my seatbelt off and was on the verge of opening the door to get out and have a word with the driver in front when the car hit from behind, the first time the rearward car had not even been visible when I started braking - must have been polishing his nails or something!

Both times it was people in front slamming on for amber when they were half a car length before the stop line, not exactly expected!

deadlydarcy - Member

Are you? I don't remember being told to look in the mirror for braking, especially not an emergency stop. I was simply told to regularly monitor the rear view and wing mirrors (and occasionally have a look out the windscreen, while rolling a fag, drinking coffee and texting :lol:)

Yes, I was. Obviously not in an emergency stop situation. But where do you draw that line. If you work on the theory of being far enough behind to stop safely, the only time you'd need to do an /emergency/ stop would be if you were not paying attention and something surprised you like the guy in front stopping and you not noticing. Just approaching lights and them choosing to stop for the amber rather than the red doesnt really constitute emergency, and so includes checking behind.

In actual fact, both times I have been hit from behind I had almost got my seatbelt off and was on the verge of opening the door to get out and have a word with the driver in front ...
Both times it was people in front slamming on for amber when they were half a car length before the stop line, not exactly expected!

😀 @ Marmoset!

both times having been rammed into the person in front by the tailgater behind

too close then?

As above, I was hit from behind on the M5 a while back, pushing me into the car in front. Despite me being the sole occupant of my car, tailgater's insurance paid for both mine and the car in front. I guess I wasn't too close then?

I thought the emergency stop was more for the kid chasing the ball across the road from behind the car routine...you're supposed to be far enough behind the guy in front so as not to have to do an emergency stop aren't you?

Didn't need to mate, we had piebalds in the garden. Only learned to drive when I couldn't get my hands on one here.

S'pose piebalds are a bit slow for tar deliveries I reckon. How is the Terminal 4 runway contract coming along btw? 😀

So you were going to go and have a word with a driver who was following the HC?

No, not sure which version of the highway code you read/were taught, but mine suggested that if you were likely to cross the stop line in the process of stopping for an amber, it is better to continue. I see it still works that way today...

Rule 175
You MUST stop behind the white ‘Stop’ line across your side of the road unless the light is green. If the amber light appears you may go on only if you have already crossed the stop line[b] or are so close to it that to stop might cause a collision.[/b]

So I was getting out of the car to have a word with the person who slammed on, half a car length from the stop line, despite the fact that there was traffic behind in a 60 zone (only doing 40 at the time fortunately!) at a leafy, tree covered NSL cross roads. The driver stopped partly obstructing the junction, even more so when I hit the back of them after the chap hit me. This brought the whole junction to chaos. This is WHY you're meant to continue on on an amber if you're so close to the line that stopping before it is unlikely.

dd - yes, as I said, stopping at a junction is not what I'd consider an emergency stop, unless the object acts in a manner not expected (slamming on for a light while on top of the stop line, kid running out for ball etc).

Continuing the thread hijack - I can't believe someone hasn't run into the back of me already as I have a habit of stopping for amber lights, something I haven't noticed anyone else doing. The occasions where I've judged there's not enough time to stop before the line and carry on I get a pang of guilt until a quick mirror check reveals the car behind me (and quite often the one behind that too) doesn't seem quite so bothered about amber lights.

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Dont get me wrong, I don't advocate "running oranges" unless its necessary, and certainly never reds, but I think its safe to consider the amber light to be a period of time set aside for the human decision making process to occur, not an on-off switch for the brake. "will I stop by the line?...no...carry on". The person behind can then rightly assume that if you have reached a certain point you are then not likely to slam on in front of them and they can stop safely by the line.

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D0NK - Member
Continuing the thread hijack - I can't believe someone hasn't run into the back of me already as I have a habit of stopping for amber lights, something I haven't noticed anyone else doing. The occasions where I've judged there's not enough time to stop before the line and carry on I get a pang of guilt until a quick mirror check reveals the car behind me (and quite often the one behind that too) doesn't seem quite so bothered about amber lights.