[Closed] Things that aren't what they say they are

Free range eggs are surprisingly expensive.

molgrips - Member
Instant coffee. It's quick, no doubt about that, but it's not instant. You have to wait to boil the kettle and all

It's not bloody coffee either

I got a massage with "happy ending" but wasn't happy at all when I got the bill.

Caravans called:
Buccaneer,
Pursuit,
Laser,
Crusader,
Rallye,
Marauder,
Quasar,
Stellar,
Conquerer,
Challenger Sport,

are none of the above.

The PX Fibonacci sale, not all things are Fibonacci numbers any more and many things do not conform to the "everything £x" sub-sections if you list high to low!

Whats more, a load of stuff I've been looking at went up today, it is as if they monitor my posts and window shopping. 👿

Anyone got the phone number for the interweb police? 😆

Not a real bear. Never grills anything.

[img] [/img]

Theres a well known cycle website/forum which talks about nothing but vans, coffee and wood burners....

Caravans called:
Buccaneer

You *could* be a pirate and live in one though. There was one called the Ambassador which I thought was taking the piss.

"Welcome to our country, Ambassador, let us show you to your accommodation.."

The PX Fibonacci sale

Yes, I searched for fibbonacis and they didn't have any, full price or on sale.

If I stayed in a caravan named 'Ambassador', I'd expect this:

I've never entered an Ambassador. I have spent time inside a Maestro though.

Cars with fast names. Suzuki "Swift" my eye, I don't think I've ever seen one going over 20mph.

Black people or white people for that matter, more like different shades of pink and brown.

Foie gras, definitely no gras(s) in it.

I've never entered an Ambassador.

Decency prevents me from sharing that information.

Free range eggs are surprisingly expensive.

[url= https://c3.staticflickr.com/4/3381/3255441218_2dcdb3c159_z.jp g" target="_blank">https://c3.staticflickr.com/4/3381/3255441218_2dcdb3c159_z.jp g"/> [/img][/url][url= https://flic.kr/p/5XEZfS ]Old Postcard[/url] by [url= https://www.flickr.com/photos/cycleologist/ ]Ben Cooper[/url], on Flickr

I've been to several ambassadorial receptions. Sadly, none featured Ferrero Rocher. I iz dissapoint.

Brexit, because it, apparently, isn't.

the little tick box that says 'remember me' when one signs into this here forum. It should say 'forget me after one or two refreshes'

Wet break at school.
It is neither a break or wet.

My local Polish shop doesn't sell polish

Stoner, I recently saw a caravan called a Pastiche.
That might have been accurate.

Disney fast play.

Stoner - Member
Caravans called:
Buccaneer,
Pursuit,
Laser,
Crusader,
Rallye,
Marauder,
Quasar,
Stellar,
Conquerer,
Challenger Sport,
are none of the above.

Reminds me of my favourite car game when we're bored. The aim is to prefix any caravan you see with the word, "@r$e". Minutes of fun...

Theres a well known cycle website chat forum which talks about nothing but vans, coffee and wood burners....

"I'm fine"

Said by a woman.

😉

Pies in pubs. It's a stew with a pastry lid you cheapskates

Reminds me of my favourite car game when we're bored. The aim is to prefix any caravan you see with the word, "@r$e". Minutes of fun...

It is fun, but I use a slightly different word!

l Pageant. l Marauder. Etc.

😀

Automatic cars. They only do the gears.

Dr Pepper. I have serious doubts regarding his medical certifications.

Moses - Member
Stoner, I recently saw a caravan called a Pastiche.
That might have been accurate.

I've seen that too.

"Free cash" at ATMs. No, no it isn't.

Skoda Superb. A very fine car for sure, but Superb is stretching it.

funkmasterp - Member
Dr Pepper. I have serious doubts regarding his medical certifications.

Better bloody have them, he's my GP. The other one is Dr Mott so I do worry it's a joke on us.

Molgrips; he's not even a real mole.

Molgrips; he's not even a real mole.

bombay duck

[img] [/img]

penis extension

[img] [/img]

doesn't even come with a 3 pin plug

My 2.5 year old son when he claims that he's hungry, thirsty, needs a new nappy etc just as I turn the lights off every bedtime.

Organic salt

Mountain bikes.

Not many have seen a mountain, shirley?

Fun size chocolate bars.

My 2.5 year old son when he claims that he's hungry, thirsty, needs a new nappy etc just as I turn the lights off every bedtime.

the thread is 'Things that aren't what they say they are' - are you suggesting you don't think he's really your son? 🙂

Pint of Stans is actually 16 fluid ounces which is 80% of a pint .

the thread is 'Things that aren't what they say they are' - are you suggesting you don't think he's really your son?

Believe me, I have questioned that a few times 😀 over the last few months. Someone replaced the adorable baby with a border collie / human hybrid.

 

ah, see, the pint was devalued post-referendum 🙁

The pint is one of the few things that is actually smaller in the good old US of A than it is in the UK , 16fl oz vs 20fl oz.

'Gourmet Burgers' with the claim that they make their burgers with 100% beef and nothing else. Yep - thats gourmet cooking through and through - take a pretty mundane ingredient, add nothing to it, then serve. Your Michelin Star is in the post.

From Yodels website...

What makes Yodel the carrier of choice for our clients?

[u]We provide a consistently high customer experience at an affordable price.[/u]

Is this the same company that's gets such high praise on here?

Sealskinz.
I bet they're not.

Is this the same company that's gets such high praise on here?

Consistently 😆

Any car with blue/green/Eco designation.

Ramsey Neil - Member
The pint is one of the few things that is actually smaller in the good old US of A than it is in the UK , 16fl oz vs 20fl oz.

Though their floz are bigger than ours so it's not 16floz either.

Stan's no tubes.

Piss off Stan, I paid for it it's mine now.

Wimbledon, Wandsworth and Clapham Common. Nothing common about any of 'em. £1 million flats everywhere you look.

[IMG] [/IMG]

no its not. Its just some grumpy bastard who brought a shipment to my workshop - then spent 15 minutes on the phone telling his depot who he didn't have time for me to spend 10 minutes unloading it. He them drove it back to the depot 60 miles away and cost me two days lost production and £200 get the stuff moved back again

[img] [/img]

England football [b]team[/b]

Bottom bracket.

I'm no engineer, but which bit of it is actually a bracket?

Holiday Inn, it isn't.

Universal fitting...

27.5" wheels.

Chinese fortune cookies. They are not Chinese, they do not actually read your fortune, and they are not cookies.

Singletrack world.. it's not.

Untold stories? I've read them.

clipless pedals

commitments to sustainable transport

speed limits

Skoda Superb. A very fine car for sure, but Superb is stretching it.

Skoda have previous in using 'caravan' names for their run of the mill cars.

Superb
Rapid
Favorit
FABia
ROOMster

Instead of

Adequate
Ordinary
Tolerable
Disappointing
Not That Big

Sealskinz.
I bet they're not.

Also corduroy. Not made with real Roys.

The aim is to prefix any caravan you see with the word, "@r$e". Minutes of fun...

Does anyone fail? Pretty low measure of success.

Mars Bars
Milky Ways

Baby Oil.

Not made out of real babies.

Endura 'Clickfast' liners.

Computer mice
Railway sleepers
T-shirts
Slippers
Trainers

Running shoes - no they don't, they sit motionless until someone wearing them runs 🙄

Cycling infrastructure

Porcelain.
[img] [/img]
looks nothing like a pig's mimsy

Any product with the word 'true' in its name will be complete gash
True

Endura 'Clickfast' liners.

That No More Tears shampoo for babies.

We used to give our kids a spoonful of that before bedtime but they still used to cry all night.

And what's the T in MTB?

(Yes, I know really, it's terrain.)

(Yes, I know really, it's terrain.)

that would be the T in ATB - All Terrain Bike

The T in MTB is 'tain' - MounTainBike

The T in MTB is 'tain' - MounTainBike

I thought it was Mainly Talk Bike?

Mostly Talkin' Bollocks?