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[Closed] Things I found out today

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What sort of abject **** do you have to be to think it's OK to park on someone else's driveway? I'm cross on your neighbour's behalf.

I'd be laying caltrops.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:31 am
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Cheeky ****, I'd be moving my car off the drive early in the morning then block him in and go out for a walk for a couple of hours.

I may return via the pub "sorry, couldn't possibly move my car today, I'm wasted" hic..


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:37 am
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I live close enough to the local primary school that I could lob a tennis ball into the playground from my front door.

The terrible parking annoys me more than it really should & even worse is all the parents who turn up 30 mins early, then sit their with their engines running until they have to get their chubby arses to the actual school gate.

About a month ago, signs went up to give information that the yellow no-parking chevrons are going to be extended much further down the road on both sides. I'm very pleased although suspect the current issue will just migrate down the road & after seeing this thread wonder if we'll just get people parking on our drive....


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:18 pm
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A squadron of beautiful vaginas sounds quite educational.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:29 pm
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He’s parked on a drive over the road today – and he’s been much more than 30 seconds! 🙂 Since that also puts the nose of his car across the pavement, I’ll start reporting it and see what happens.

Please tell me they are driving a white SUV so I can channel my vicarious hate a bit more specifically 😉


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:44 pm
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I left school in 1981. There were absolutely no kids getting dropped off in cars.
What has changed, why can’t they walk/cycle
anymore?

A few things.

1. I don't think anyone plans housing areas any more, they just let the builders stick whatever houses they want wherever they want, with a bit of token box-ticking, and this results in a dire lack of schools in the places where people live.

2. Tory cuts to council funding resulting in lack of school busses (this happened to us).

3. The freedom of choice in schools, meaning that people now go to school all over the city rather than where's actually close - this may have an effect on point 2

it really does not have to be like that – the stress and the difficulty is because of the choices you make.

That's very sanctimonious. People do make choices, yes, but they are often difficult, and the are usually compromises between multiple negatives. In other words, people are often forced to choose between two shit options due to other circumstances.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:46 pm
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3. The freedom of choice in schools, meaning that people now go to school all over the city rather than where’s actually close – this may have an effect on point 2

Agreed, plus the cost of housing if the school is in a "nice" area can mean that the parents can't afford to live closer. I say this as someone who walks his kids to school...


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:49 pm
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Always wondered if this would actually work, please give it a try Pondo...


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:54 pm
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even worse is all the parents who turn up 30 mins early, then sit their with their engines running until they have to get their chubby arses to the actual school gate

This drives me insane. Maybe I am a tight arse but the moment I park the engine is turned off. I hate the thought of wasting fuel. I do sometimes wonder is cars should not only have milometers but hour meters on them like tractors have. I bet there are some low mileage cars out there which have sat ticking over for months outside schools etc.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:55 pm
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So the safe play and learning space paid for by taxpayers, for the benefit of children, actively excludes them?

Yes. Gates are locked until 8.45.

I tend to walk the kiddos to school, on the occasions where I do drive, the school has a 'park and stride' agreement with the supermarket across the road. There are always a few who park their SUVs right outside the school but the council will occasionally send an enforcement officer round when things get too bad.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 2:58 pm
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Maybe I am a tight arse but the moment I park the engine is turned off. I hate the thought of wasting fuel.

Does it waste that much fuel? I doubt an engine sitting at idle uses a fraction of what it uses at 30mph. Nevertheless, the local pollution is enough of a reason to turn the engine off. Plenty are ignorant enough to leave their car running around schools, unfortunately.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 3:03 pm
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Its easy to point fingers at people driving their kids to school but like Mols says sometime people don't have many easy alternatives. A working parent might have a really tight time window to get a child to school and get to work. It might not be achievable without a car.

So here is some friendly advice on how to improve your school run.

1. Pick an appropriate vehicle, its possible to squeeze 5 adults into a Fiesta, so you and Olivia don't need a ****in Q7 to drive to school.
2. Drive properly. A basic sense of anticipation and an iota of consideration goes a long way in a crowded urban environment. Not looking further ahead than the end of you bonnet, playing follow the leader and generally driving like your head is up your arse won't.
3. Park properly (this will aided by following steps 1 and 2) Don't park on corners, hatched areas, pavements or across driveways. If your school has a carpark then park between the lines.
4. Turn your ****in engine off. You might be forgiven if you were serenading our ears with the mechanical symphony of a Ferrari V8 or Lamborghini V12, but your nailed together 4 pot diesel shit box sounds like its ingesting a bag of spanners. It also smells.
5. Be prepared to park slightly further away and walk, it might actually be quicker than waiting in a queue to get a 100m closer to the school. If people have followed rule 4 you might actually enjoy 5 minutes of fresh ****ing air


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 3:13 pm
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We have a large bit of pavement outside the front of our house. I’ve done a few things to amuse myself over the years. Including sitting on bonnets or roofs with a brew on several occasions when people have parked about an inch from the door.

My favourite was when I genuinely thought I’d killed a man. Woke up because I could hear talking. Bloke parked directly under the bedroom window with radio on proper loud. This was about one in the morning. Rather than opening the front door and asking him to bugger off I left by the back door. Snuck around the side of the house, crawled down the side of the car and then jumped up and banged on the passenger window. Honestly thought I’d given the guy a heart attack. Wish I’d have filmed it because it was brilliant!


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 4:12 pm
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Including sitting on bonnets or roofs with a brew on several occasions when people have parked about an inch from the door.

Years ago, we lived in a flat which used the back entrance to the house, with only a very narrow kerb. Not at all uncommon around that area, but a particular car would park right up against the yard door making it impossible to get in or out of the yard without physically climbing over the car. I've often wondered whether the driver noticed the footprints and pram wheel prints over the bonnet, or the bin juice over the roof of the car, because I used to stack our bins on top of the car ready for collection.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 4:23 pm
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Yep gates at my daughters school are locked until its time for them to go in as well, about 8:45. She's 11 now so walks up there on her own, but likes to get there early so has to stand on the footpath outside unitl they let them in.

This didn't used to be the case, but, Covid excuses....

Not a busy road, but not a lot of footway. Gates used to be open about 7:30 pre-covid.

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Posted : 24/11/2021 4:51 pm
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@Pondo

I can't vouch for banana's but potatoes worked well back in the day. Just make sure the firing line is clear once the pressure has built up enough to move the projectile.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 5:20 pm
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And just who is supposed to look after the kids when they get to school early? And don't suggest the teachers, they have enough to do pandering to the whims of the fat little sods they have to teach and their useless parents who can't get their arses out of bed or won't bring their kids until the crowds have gone down and they can park closer.
Manpower doesn't help. My school was down to 3 out of 8 staff for the best part of two weeks. We are dead pleased we have 5 now. Although waiting for the other 3 to go down with the plague.
I am absolutely convinced that motoring policing should be seperated from all other policing and should be self financing. I bet you could pay a shed load of officers if every blasted speeder, dodgy parker and close passer was nailed.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:10 pm
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We had a less busy bunch of crows today (the old bags who lurk by the school fence cackling). Local farmer had dumped several lorry loads of chicken crap right by the school gate. Sadly he can't do it everyday.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:12 pm
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And just who is supposed to look after the kids when they get to school early?

Until school day starts, parents.

Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland all have expectations of this, and practical 'how to' if you're interested.

https://www.gov.scot/publications/play-strategy-play-out-hours/

https://www.playwales.org.uk/eng/schoolstoolkit


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:27 pm
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I find it staggering that schools lock their gates until a few minutes before the bell goes. That is nuts. Schools should be a welcome safe space where the children have a sense of belonging. Don't lock them out of their bloody playground!

And there is no Cvid excuse either.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 10:36 pm
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And just who is supposed to look after the kids when they get to school early? And don’t suggest the teachers

Well they do get to go home at half three...

Oh, and they have like eleven weeks off in the summer too so they ought to be well rested.


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 11:02 pm
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My mums a part time teacher and I think these jokes are a bit unfair. Well, I say part time, they're all part time really aren't they


 
Posted : 24/11/2021 11:22 pm
 aP
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A mate of mine lives close to Twickers. A few years ago he came home to find a large German SUV parked in his drive. So he parked his 7m van across the end of his drive. Got started on the whiskey. When the game finished he was eventually roused by an angry Surrey man. He's a quite gobby Scouser, and they got a long and inventive series of swear words followed by him slamming the door and going for a lie down. About 7 hours later he let them out.


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 12:26 am
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I suspect that FAM got quite a large bill to have it removed and disposed of.

That, sir, is a truly wonderful story! It deserves to be immortalised in film. 🤣


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 1:00 am
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And don’t suggest the teachers, they have enough to do pandering to the whims of the fat little sods they have to teach

Whenever a teacher posts about their job I have to wonder why they chose teaching. 😀


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:01 pm
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Whenever a teacher posts about their job I have to wonder why they chose teaching. 😀

Because of the holidays


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:09 pm
 NJA
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We live opposite a community centre which has a bowling green next to it. It has a large well lit and looked after car park. The 'problem' is that to get to the entrance to the centre from the car park you have to walk round the side of the building, three sides if you are going to the bowling green.

That is far too far for most people when they can park in front of our houses, block the road and generally create a slalom course for the residents. We have a home for severely disabled people at the end of the road too which regularly needs ambulance access.

The worst culprits by far are all the retired majors who play bowls and are far too important to use a public car park and walk an extra 30 yards.

They are closely followed by the weight watchers crew who waddle up to the front door, block the road by parking as near as humanly possible to the front door, get weighed and waddle off. Most of whom would prefer a weighbridge to drive onto which could just deduct the weight of their car tell them they have lost a pound this week and save them all the additional exercise that they get from their walk to the scales.


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:22 pm
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Whenever a teacher posts about their job I have to wonder why they chose teaching. 😀

'Those who can't...'

😉


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:22 pm
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Because of the holidays

I can only assume that you don't know many teachers.


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 2:42 pm
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Cougar
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Because of the holidays

I can only assume that you don’t know many teachers.

Or perhaps, it was a joke... 🙃


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 6:33 pm
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It's so hard to tell these days.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law


 
Posted : 25/11/2021 6:44 pm
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