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Bring home some cake, when she asks for a slice say "none for you, fattie fat fat"
That should sort it.
Dumb question, from your last post to me its clears she's he's happy with her diet and weight so what's the issue?
Tackle the cause of the problem
We haven't identified the problem, or even determined if there is a problem. Maybe the problem is the OP with his obsessive body fascism. Either way I'd evaluate the pros and cons of addressing the matter of fatness. Perhaps get an opinion from somebody who knows the "said wife" better than us on this internet. I always find the Simpsons to be a reliable guide to human behaviour and I believe there is an episode where Homer stumbles on the existence of a thing called a "gym".
There's a certain chap off of here who came to visit us with his lovely wife and daughters a few weeks ago. I was making some bacon butties in the morning and asked his lovely wife if she wanted the fat cut off her bacon (like my Mrs does).
He piped up "does she look like someone who cuts the fat off her bacon?"
He was in a lot of trouble. He probably still is.
"Dumb question, from your last post to me its clears she’s he’s happy with her diet and weight so what’s the issue"
If it's got to the stage he's turned to here it's probably worry for her health and wellbeing.
We have a family member who's just recovering from a triple bypass after ignoring similar plees from those that love her
There's no worry at the mo but I know how hard it is to get our of the habit of eating. She tends to turn to fad diets when wanting to lose weight and I also know this isn't a great idea for her cos she never keeps it off. In fact puts more on.
There are always excuses for not eating well and the frankly absurd amount of choccy and crisps is only going to take thing's one way.
What i want to avoid for everybody's sakes is the creep towards morbid obesity. Her parent are and diabetes is now an issue, one of them can't get up and down stairs etc etc.
Her parent are
In which case tell her she's turning into her mother, likely to result in more rage but more action than "fat"
Would be like a pot calling a kettle black in my case, and we both know she loves cheese more than me anyway!
Ask if she is pregnant, "how are the twins doing"
Put one of these on the front door.
Next time you're getting 'jiggy jiggy' in the bedroom with her, just say "Hey love, you don't sweat much for a fat lass"...
Ask if she is pregnant
If if you do this please video it... I asked a girl at work... in my defence she did have a baby about 8 months later so I wasn’t wrong...
Maybe there's a Bad Manners record you can play a few times a day.
“You could have heard a pin drop”
”…as it fell out of a grenade?”
ha... no, it was a ceramic rolling pin from aga. 😉
Have an affair with someone younger, fitter and more attractive. Should get the message across.
If you say anything to her, she’ll probably tell you “you’re fattist’
Sorry love, I think you’ll find .....
Just tell her she is looking well fat these days. When she stops shouting at you, apologise and say you mean fat with a ph like the yoofs talk. She will realise what you mean and say thanks but it will have sown a seed. Your welcome fella. 😀
Dave says have you told chunky yet?
Buy her diet and sweetner alternatives. Also serve up smaller portions. You wont need to say anything
Next time you’re getting ‘jiggy jiggy’ in the bedroom with her…
take your surf board into the room with you.
Or tell her that her hair style doesn't suit her now her face is a bit fuller.