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old chinese proverb
man who confuse laxative with viagra.....
crap in bed
crimewatch has told me but one thing.... avoid people with fuzzy faces.
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I answered the phone at work today.
A voice said "Is that the local bus depot ?"
I said "It depends where you're calling from"
Wife's been missing 2 weeks and police have told me to expect the worst. So I've been to the charity shops to ask for her clothes back.
Was in the pub with the missus and said 'I love you'. That's just the beer talking she says. No, I said, it's me talking to the beer.
Why can't you see elephants playing hide and seek in trees?
Because there very good at it.
me & the mrs were sitting in the living room and i said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So she unplugged the TV and threw out all my beer....