[Closed] talking to babies...

yook at the ickle baby toes... aren't they the sweetest?
...and other such stuff

no really, how old? what sort of interest is she expecting? has she given you any guidance?

get your s@*t together then sunshine. oohchycoochycoo!! 😀

Speak Esperanto to them. It's the future

Until it's 3 or 4 and picked up the odd swear word, babies can be fairly tedious when they're your own, let alone when they're someone else's genetic ball of spit and poo.

Enough interest for what?

PS the wife's nieces and nephews are also YOUR nieces and nephews 🙂

Stoner, a wise man once said that childrn are like farts.

Your own are a source of endless pride and laughter. Those of others are vile.

"in the wifes little nieces and nephews"???

That make you their uncle then?? MTFU. Get on with it.

Ha! apparently you guys don't watch 1 and 2 year old enough, they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too...or maybe the kids you've been looking at are 'ahem' not too bright???

UTFU surely?

Ha! apparently you guys don't watch 1 and 2 year old enough, they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too...or maybe the kids you've been looking at are 'ahem' not too bright???

*mind blown*

thats a fair point, you seem to be over looking the fact that theyre now your nieces and nephews.

they are full of wonder and do the most hilarious things too

It is just possible that you're ahem, not too bright

*shakes car keys at mrsgrips*

She wants to see you as capable of fathering her children ..if you do not see this as your future carry on and perhaps get worse. if you do sort it out copy her or other males with children

"has she given you any guidance?" - You what?

Tell her you're not showing any interest in talking to babies because (presumably) you're not interested in talking to babies.

What the hell is wrong with some people? Talking to babies? I bet that's a right laugh....or not.

Yeah, fair play. Other peoples kids are all weird.

Got to go. "THE" wife has just done an amazing guff and I got to change rooms.

Good luck with finding your way with being and uncle.

Well my nieces nephews and own child have been (are) truly adorable at 1 and 2...using/learning language (sometimes even telling stories), learning how to walk and jump and run and the overly dramatic faces when they get something right or wrong. It's fantastic.
Granted when their language skills (at 3 or so) get good enough that they start talking about bodily functions I can understand that they're at you guys level and you would find that more amusing, but you know, after a year (if they're girls) they move beyond that...

Get them mixed up on purpose. And invent new names for them. Call one of them florence (Assuming it's name isn't florence).

And just talk normal to them, ask them if they saw the match last night.

Yeah, I must keep my camera on hand to grab a pic of Lil Grips hands-on-hips disgruntled expression. It's bloody funny.

It will wear you down over the next few decades

Simon Semtex
Got to go. "THE" wife has just done an amazing guff and I got to change rooms

Lol@ Mrs_Semtex's apt name!

yeah my nieces and nephews! just wanna be able to pick them up and play with them for a bit, interact - but i cant be doing all this oohchycoochycoo business.

Seriously tho, what age because it makes a difference.
less than one- walk them around, bounce them lightly, talk about everything and anything (including the game yes) if they gurgle pretend the responded to something you said and acknowledge them by saying their name and smiling and asking them to tell you more or asking them a question and wait half a moment to 'let them respond'
1- help them walk or crawl, roll balls to them, point out animals and moving oblects like cars, trains, airplanes, bugs, name objects and colors, read simple books, tip them upside down while sitting on your lap, build towers. Use 'command language' i.e. simple phrases, but talk 'normal' otherwise
2- throw balls, kick balls, point out more advanced things (especially vehicles) wrestling play is usually liked, also things like horsey, airplane, build towers and knock them down, build them again. Use simple sentences when giving commands but talk normal and repeat phrases using 'their' vocab if you know what it is
3- more wrestling play, chasing games, kicking and throwing and batting balls, playing with trains (building tracks), puzzles. Just talk normal and repeat things as you need to or say it in a slightly different way if they say they don't understand or look confused.

...

Wrestling play:

[img] [/img]

Yeah Mol knows...that wrestling play is good..but some parents frown at the makeup wearing so ask first abt that bit...

cheers. that really helps. im talking various ages but its the one under 1yr that i struggle with.

Under ones are seriously the easiest I would say as they expect very little... talk a lot (as language is developing) and don't use the icklebickle coochycoo language people tend to use as it doesn't help them. However, you can 'repeat' what they say (so if they squeal try repeating it) - this helps them learn that people copy each other to learn. And like I said, as crazy as you might feel, talk to them like you would talk to an adult. If they're being vocal then pretend that they're really talking to you and say 'oh yeah I know... x really is a good striker' or some such.
If you want to really get into things playing games where you're touching their right hand to their left foot while counting (or reciting types of bike forks) or any words, is actually really good for them developmentally (using the hands and feet on different halves of their bodies creates 'crossing paths' in their brain linking the two sides together).
The more often you do it the easier and more natural it becomes (obviously) and if people look at you funny just smile and make a joke about it (or make a joke to the baby abt it... 'see they just think you're not intelligent/don't know anything about football but we know better don't we? You're going to be the next...)

Does depend on age, and whether boys or girls IME.
Babies, you can't have much of a conversation with so you just have to do the coochy coo thing and make sure you tell the parents how adorable their baby is... offer to feed and look after if they're bawling and give the parents a rest. I draw the line at nappies tho'!
Age 3-4 when you can hold a conversation (of sorts), personally I talk to them as an equal about things they think and know about or read them a story or watch TV with them. And general messing about. My godsons love being held upside down by their feet, or playing football or just general running about and playing. (I use them as my excuse not to grow up too much just yet!)
Basically you're a bloke, we never grow up so just play around with them like you know you really want to 🙂
Girls, same kind of thing I guess, just chat to them about things they're interested in...

just speak to them softly and earnestly about whatever is in your head
im telling my 6mth old star wars at bedtime

quite often i tell him about what upgrades ive made to my bikes

he looks happy whatever i say

without looking and sounding like a [b]total weapon!?[/b]

😆

One of my favourite phrases

Explain to your wife that you simply don't 'get' talking to a <1 yr old. If you display interest in the older children then surely she will understand.

Or just ignore them completely, grateful in the knowledge they don't belong to you, that they will soon be taken away and go and do something you'd [i]like[/i] to do instead?

Just be careful of gender stereotypes.

Speak to them like people, not baby talk. lot's of repetition and use a higher voice than normal.

CharlieMungus - Member

Speak to them like people, not baby talk. lot's of repetition and use a higher voice than normal.

That's foreigners, not babies.

Don't stick them in front of the TV watching the family guy, no matter how much they love it, they will pick up words that will get you in trouble. But at least now I'm right at the bottom of the emergency babysitter list.

Yep, expecting to be interested in peoples babies is one of life's more tedious bits. The only thing duller than being expected to be interested in somebody else's baby is when they get to an age where the parent talks through the child.

Bumps into parent and child in the street:
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Parent: "We are fine. we are off to the shops. Aren't we [insert child's name]"
Child: ..........
Me: ..........
Parent: ..........
Awkward silence
Me: "Thats nice, got to go. Bye. Bye [insert child's name]" Goes to walk off
Parent: "[inserts child's name] Say goodbye to muppetWrangler"
Child: .........
Me: "Bye [insert childs name]
Child .........
Parent: "Say goodbye"
Child ..........
More awkward silence, and shuffling of feet.

Now once they get to an age where they do stuff and talk about things inquisitively and go off on weird tangents I'll keep them amused for hours. From experience of friends kids this seems to be about 4 years of age. Mate's little girl was making models of the milky way out of pipe cleaners the other day and in a strange reverse that was a far more interesting than the grown up conversation about mortgages or cooking or some other dull shit that was going on.

Bumps into parent and child in the street:
Me: "Hi, how are you?"
Parent: "We are fine. we are off to the shops. Aren't we [insert child's name]"
Child: ..........
Me: ..........
Parent: ..........
Awkward silence
Me: "Thats nice, got to go. Bye. Bye [insert child's name]" Goes to walk off
Parent: "[inserts child's name] Say goodbye to muppetWrangler"
Child: .........
Me: "Bye [insert childs name]
Child .........
Parent: "Say goodbye"
Child ..........
More awkward silence, and shuffling of feet.

Swear-filter avoidance?

Good point, maybe the wee child can sense my antipathy and is doing the mature thing of saying nothing if you can't say something nice.

I totally understand what the OP means. It comes naturally to some folk and not to others! 🙄

Weird thing is that since having one (5 1/2mnth old) i have turned into raspberry blowing, rhyming machine... 😯

Think its just a fact that till you have one you just won't get it.

+1 mugboo

All babies are shit apart from your own women just dont understand this about men.

All babies are shit apart from your own women just dont understand this about men.

All babies are shit apart from your own women just dont understand this about men.

Oh, Women understand men are babies and full of crap...

Well, if we are doing crass generalisations.....

Edit: For JY and fairness.

to be fair she did not start it and I thought it was a rather witty reply
A-A you speak for yourself on this issue you cannot speak for all men.
I worked with children for years before having my own and was able to interact with kids and do as Mrs Grips has suggested. Perhaps some of us are just not like you and say sensitive and caring? You have no authority to explain what all men think on this issue. When I speak on an issue i speak for myself and not all men just as you do.

I was not exposed to babies at all until I met Mrs Grips. Consequently, I had no idea how to interact. Now I've spent time with other people's kids and I have my own, I find it much easier to interact and therefore more fun 🙂

Aw come on now, you boys don't do yourselves any help my allowing yourselves to be marginalised when it comes to babies and kids. Women don't necessarily know more or less than you (and women are fools to act like they do know in many cases). Most people have no idea what to do with babies or little kids. What you got to do is just get stuck in. Approach them like you would learning about a new computer game (i.e. look up 'cheats' online about child development and games you can play with certain age groups) or the way you'd approach learning about your new car...look for an 'owner's manual' once again basic books or online sites about child development and what to expect at certain stages or growth.
Don't let people (i.e women) make you feel silly or stupid for trying to figure things out or doing things your own way. There's not really wrong ways of doing things (especially in the very early years). And bloody well stop acting like it's all about women and the child. No matter if women are pre programmed to know abt babies or not (which in my personal opinion is a bunch of bullsh**) that's no reason to let them have all the fun. Babies aren't some mystery only the female sex can understand.
Gender equality means you guys have to do some work too...yeah it's easier to just say I don't get it, it has nothing to do with me... but really, don't be such wusses. You're just as important to child development as women... And if you continue acting like it's something that's just beyond you then you're going to continue to miss out on learning and being a part of some really amazing things.

you are all very serious arent you.

you are all very serious arent you.

It's the internet. It's always serious.

Nice try say something about us rather than defend/elaborate on your own view.... I think that is page 4: Internet arguing for dummies iirc.

Ask them what they think about budget deficit, or 29ers?

apparently 1-4% of people just dont have the genes for empathy and so unless babies are yours your just not going to be interested. the medical term is psychopath but this conjours images of axe wielding maniacs so dont tell your wife your a psychopath, just copy what others do and no-one will ever know

OK JUnkyard my point of view is pretty much as stated, I never had any intrest in babies, indeed I had never held one until my own popped into view and I still have very little interest in other peoples babies. This doesnt stop me loving my own and doing everything I'm supposed to do. I dont think this is unusual amongst men.

[url= http://s211.photobucket.com/albums/bb221/anagallis_arvensis/frank/?action=view&current=P1000846-3.mp4 ]me holding a baby for the first time![/url]

although I dont think I'm as extreme as stated above, I am afterall a Teacher, like kids babies are just a bit dull

You've got the rocky rocky thing straight away though. I think it's instinctive 🙂

I always just think of babies as being little people. Just have a chat with them like you might with anyone else except the swearing (and accept that their responses might be slightly limited)

Oh and never the stupid high pitched baby speak voice with babies and toddlers, babies like a nice deep voice, and even quite young children hate being patronised by people talking to them like babies.

Although with our baby, 'talking' to her is mainly really about providing yourself as a handy climbing frame, just now as I was writing this she climbed up me and over my head.