Forum menu
"twitch" indeed.
They've recently - like, a couple of years ago - redone the main road near me, including nice patterned stonework on the pavement. They've painstakingly continued the pattern across access panels, except someone's had one up and replaced it back-to-front so the pattern no longer aligns. It disproportionately pisses me the **** off every time I walk past it.
I’m pretty sure that most T&C that we come across (but especially on-line) are written like that to make sure we don’t read them.
Almost certainly.
I don't see the point, unless it's intentionally meant to catch you out. Absolutely no-one in the history of ever has read a 16-page EULA for a ****ing printer driver.
See also, corporate email signatures. "This message is intended for the recipient..." - well who the **** else would it be intended for? Half a screenful of boilerplate corpspeak gibberish which is the same as every other goddamn corporate email signature (and holds precisely zero legal currency anyway), with the email body text reading "Yes. Kind Regards."
On hold.
I've worked in a call centre. I know what being picked off the queue and slammed straight back into it because you can't be arsed to talk to me and it looks good on your "calls answered" stats sounds like, you shower of bastards.
Local shops that buy five star trustpilot reviews from shysters, to make it look like they're any good at anything, when they are in fact, crap.
On second thoughts, maybe I'm not disproportionately angry, just correctly angry.
someone’s had one up and replaced it back-to-front so the pattern no longer aligns.
Yep, saw one of those in Wolverhampton only last week, and it irritated me more than you'd think reasonable. That slap-dash approach gets my goat. Will get a pic next time I go past it; I can't keep it to myself.
I genuinely wonder whether it's malicious or just lackadaisical.
The mindfulness training we had today. A bizarre fascination with feeling my buttocks on the seat and breathing. Live in the moment and think about your next breath.
Still your mind like Karen's snow globe....erm... Brownian motion and kinetic energy those molecules ain't still you Muppet.
The utter ****s who attach phones and sat navs in the middle of the windscreen. Bottom right where it isn’t obstructing your view of the road you absolute dicks!
Slow moving people.
I realised this last week whilst getting to my car at work. Guy a few cars down was already getting into his whilst I was 10m away from mine. I managed to walk that short distance, get in my car, bag in footwell, hi-vis off and in door card, start engine, put Spotify on, seatbelt on and finally set off by the time the slowest man on earth was sitting down. It had no impact on me other than annoyed me to the point of audibly uttering "how can somebody be that ******* slow"
Quite unreasonable of me.
Slow moving people.
I don't mind slow-moving people per se. It's the ones who do so with no spatial or social awareness, like a sodded shopping trolley. If you're going to be shit, at least have the grace to be predictably shit so that I can circumnavigate you. Like the bastards with soluble children who get to the doorway before deciding that they need to batten down the hatches because it looks like it might rain next Thursday. Fine, whatever, just take two steps to your left first, you throbber.
I refuse to go to supermarkets on weekends because of slow people
I rarely go to supermarkets at all because of them.
Guy a few cars down was already getting into his whilst I was 10m away from mine. I managed to walk that short distance, get in my car, bag in footwell, hi-vis off and in door card, start engine, put Spotify on, seatbelt on and finally set off by the time the slowest man on earth was sitting down.
I went to the retail park this weekend, it wasn't particularly busy but enough that I had to wait briefly while someone reversed back into a space (badly). After they'd pulled back out and tried again they beckoned me past.
I parked, went into the car supermarket place for the 5ltrs of screenwash I needed (picked up as walked in the door, up to counter, no queue, tap and go, need a receipt?/no thanks, I won't be returning screenwash) and back out to the car.
They were still straightening up.
I can't say it made me disproportionately cross other than we share roads with this skill level.
just take two steps to your left first, you throbber.
cf: stopping at the top of escalators, taking two steps out of the lift and stopping...Pretend you live in a city, people...
People who get annoyed with wheelchair users or infirm people in supermarkets. Show some compassion.
Any people in pickups who block the pavement with there overhanging rear bed. Especially in the Maidstone hospital carpark.
The Eurovision Song contest being on the news. It is not news.
cf: stopping at the top of escalators, taking two steps out of the lift and stopping…Pretend you live in a city, people…
Add to the list people trying to push there way onto a train the second the doors open rather than standing back and letting folk get off first, clowns, you should be allowed to thump them the second the doors open 😁
My colleague has just left the office and on the way out said "sees yous later". Hopefully not if you murder the English language in that way.
Butter falling off the knife before reaching the bread. It makes me unreasonably mad.
“sees yous later”
I have just realised they may have been going to grab some female sheep so perhaps my crossness was misplaced.
Bread molesters in supermarkets. I’d like to stab them in the eye with a sharpened baguette.
Fedex tracking, parcel due before 12:40 they missed that window now updated to due before 18.00 what a load of crap.
People calling each other 'chap'.
My BIL does it constantly.
Get away from my sister you melt! 😡
People who get annoyed with wheelchair users or infirm people in supermarkets. Show some compassion.
Does being infirm make you stop dead in a doorway with your trolley at arm's length, blocking the entire thing off?
It's nothing to do with being infirm, it's everything to do with catastrophic common sense failure. Stepping to the side to let others past because you've suddenly realised that you have to fanny about for ten minutes shouldn't be a difficult concept to anyone allowed outside unaccompanied.
need a receipt?/no thanks, I won’t be returning screenwash
Stuff like this triggers my sarcasm gland. Buying a bag of chips, "do you want a receipt?" Why, do you suppose they might be faulty?
Receipts generally make me disproportionately cross. I didn't ask for it, I don't want it, I have 'proof of purchase' by dint of your tracking storecard recording everything I've bought from you in the last twenty years but no, the bastard thing still vomits out a strip of dead tree for me to tear out of its face and throw straight in the bin without looking at it. It's just so pointless and wasteful.
Occasionally I get a helpful store assistant going "you've forgotten your receipt!" No I haven't, I've deliberately ignored it. One time I got "but what if you get stopped by security?" "Well, I suppose first I'll have an argument, then I'll be speaking with your store manager about treating your customers like criminals, and then I'll be writing to Glasgow," is what I wanted to reply.
Buying a bag of chips, “do you want a receipt?” Why, do you suppose they might be faulty?
I buy a lottery ticket
They ask me if I want the receipt
I ask if I can return it if I don't win the jackpot.
They no longer ask me if I want the receipt.
Parcelfarce drivers who give your item to a neighbour, but are too stupid to post a card through the door to tell you which ****ing neighbour!
Ah yes.
Then an email, "item delivered successfully." Not to me it $%^&ing hasn't.
This....£100 of airtags.
"two times as long" oh, you mean twice as long.
Not as bad as "two times less" honestly wtf does that mean.
Well, it means fractionally more than "twice as less". But neither makes very much sense at all in reality
... User is typing...
...
... User is typing...
...
... User is typing...
...
... User is typing...
...
"Yes."
****'s sake, that was worth waiting half a decade for.
Buying a bag of chips, “do you want a receipt?” Why, do you suppose they might be faulty?
Mr Chippy:
"No, but some of our customers claim a meal allowance from work and have to show receipts. You. Sarky. Oversized. Feline. Get the **** out of my chippy, you're barred"!
Cold plates. You have ravaged mother earth to provide heat and nutrients which need cooking to make them enjoyable.
Why o why o why do people then serve delicious hot food firstly into a set of stone cold pretty china serving dishes , to move it onto a a large cold heat sink of a plate.?
And don't get me started on the hapless idiots who deign it unnecessary to put ye rapidly chilling vegetables onto any else's plate but will happily ladle roasted potatoes in their direction only closely followed by the cauliflower cheese.
When a restaurant does it it's even worser
Eco warriors. The vast majority are massive hypocrites who seem to think that they are exempt from causes of pollution. For example jso using oil based products to say we shouldn’t use oil.
And I'll bet they wear fleeces too! What's wrong with genuine Eider down?
.......stop dead in a doorway with your trolley at arm’s length, blocking the entire thing off?
In a similar vein. Stopping your SUV in the middle of the lane in the parking lot so you can walk across the empty parking spaces to the trashcan. I appreciate you not launching your shit out the window, but why block everyone else while you do it if you could pull into the space right ****ing in front of it?
Aye, that would have me spitting at the inside of my windscreen as well @10.
I had similar at the supermarket years ago late at night. Hundreds of empty spots and this prick waits for his missus and daughter to walk out the front of the shop then proceeds to drive up to it blocking the single lane out of the car park while they load their weekly shop and I get a front row seat. * me, absolute tosspot of the highest order. Think I started a thread on here about it actually. I was * ing bouncing 🤣
Tracking info that should convey a sense that you will get to build if not ride your new bike this weekend but just, well .......
[url= https://i.ibb.co/0ZnPSxQ/Screenshot-20240509-084933.pn g" target="_blank">https://i.ibb.co/0ZnPSxQ/Screenshot-20240509-084933.pn g"/> [/img][/url]
@onehundredthidiot - almost as painful seeing it just sit in customs! My Raaw was sent on the 11th of April, got to UK customs on the 22nd and i finally got to pay the bill this morning..... seeing a bank holiday weekend come and go was painful. It will be worth the wait tho!
People who rattle the fuel pump around the fuel filler neck aperture on their vehicles when they finish filling up.
What are you expecting to achieve with this? Defy gravity and somehow get the last 0.1ml of fuel out of the pump nozzle? The hose is most likely pointing downwards from the pump handle, so if you want to extract every last drop from it, put your hand on the hose and lift it above the height of the nozzle.
Except the valve is clearly in the trigger mechanism and waving the pipe around does not make a jot of difference.
You just get more skanky fuel on your hands by gripping the pipe below the handle to manhandle it about
You not shake your **** when finished peeing? (Assuming you have one)
People who rattle the fuel pump around the fuel filler neck aperture on their vehicles when they finish filling up.
What are you expecting to achieve with this?
Well... because otherwise half the time the last drips will dribble down the side of the car as you remove the nozzle. It's quicker to give a quick wiggle just in case than hunting round every dispenser in the forecourt trying to find one that has some tissues left in it.
You not shake your **** when finished peeing? (Assuming you have one)
He gets it 😉