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Technology not working exactly as intended.
Case study: there's a hipstery food court-type place here called Edinburgh Street Food which has an app ordering system rather than a traditional order point as there are so many vendors. In theory it works spotlessly and saves a lot of time...EXCEPT: The mobile signal inside is so terrible and so is the wifi because it is always so busy. It can take about 10 minutes to navigate through the website to actually put your order in because of so much loading.
I am usually twice as hungry from seething with rage by the time I manage - even though I am not in a rush by design of me being in there to have a good time and a nice meal.
Alternatively: The screw part that connects the jetboil cup to the stove. Several times the thing has nearly ended up being booted off the hill whilst I faff to get it aligned properly. That's definitely a me problem.
Apart from that I don't have anger issues..!
Well perhaps not.
Honestly, that hadn't occurred to me and it's a good catch. It wasn't intentional (for once), I shall of course flagellate myself forthwith.
Perhaps what Cougar really objects to is neologisms
Not really. I'm comfortable with googling (small 'g') using Google (big 'g') or Bing (still shit). Language evolves. I'm 52 and "yeet" has entered my vocabulary, I think it's a glorious word. (Hey, check me out, being on fleek.) But "inbox me" just grates, perhaps because it's both nonsensical and redundant.
Technology not working exactly as intended.
This is also my own fault but,
I have the smart dining room lights configured as "dining room rose" (as in ceiling rose as opposed to the other lights). Nine times out of ten "Alexa, dining room rose on" will turn on the lights. The other, it'll turn everything pink.
Hey, check me out, being on fleek.
Sadly, I suspect that now that the likes of us have cottoned on to "on fleek", using "on fleek" is no longer on fleek. So to speak.
Using the term “cockpit” for the handlebar area of a bicycle. It’s most commonly used in bike test articles referring to a “tidy cockpit” what does that even mean? It quite often results in me a) swearing, sometimes out loud and, b) not bothering to read the rest of the article.
Sadly, I suspect that now that the likes of us have cottoned on to “on fleek”, using “on fleek” is no longer on fleek. So to speak.
I don't doubt it. But I still say "cool and groovy" and that was off fleek before I was born.
Almost everything these days but then I am very old (or certainly feel that way sometimes)
The other, it’ll turn everything pink.
That's just the red mist descending due to technology getting it wrong!
Almost everything these days but then I am very old
I'm old, but 'the youth' having slang that I don't get is precisely how it should work. I refuse to get old and grumpy [like our parents] about youth culture that I don't understand. I mean I don't get why all the young girls are wearing 'mum' jeans, they weren't that flattering the first time around, but who am I to judge?
People who persuade companies to move onto a super new all encompasing software system without bothering to check that it actually solves the problem that you have rather than solving a problem that you don't have and adding new ones
I don’t get why all the young girls are wearing ‘mum’ jeans
I don't know what "mum jeans" are. Does that make me more or less fleeky?
You know when interviewers on telly interview a politician and they try to go all Paxman but they're shit at it? Man, I just have to switch over. Useless idiots.
Technology not working exactly as intended
Yeah, like people who put those ketchup bottles with the wide lids designed to be stored lid down, lid up.
Someone went to the trouble of designing that and you just ignore it and revert to the old, less efficient way, even though the label is now upside down
Maniacs.
Keep looking at all the issues raised on this thread and realised I must have been disproportionately cross most of my married life
even though the label is now upside down
The shampoo and conditioner my partner gets comes in these bottles. One of them has the label correctly orientated when the lid is up, the other with the lid down, despite being the same bottles. Every time I see them a little bit of me dies inside. If you're going to be shit, at least be consistently shit.
Does that make me more or less fleeky?
I’m pretty sure that one of those options isn’t possible.
Tiny stickers on fruit, have we done this? Apples particularly. What are they for? They convey no useful information and are just pointless and irritating.
I either notice and have to peel the annoying ****er off and then find somewhere to put it, or don't and inadvertently eat it!
Doggo and pupper really gets my back up
They convey no useful information and are just pointless and irritating.
They often have a 4 digit code, which if the supermarket is sensible will match the code needed at the checkout, making the cashiers life easier. The supermarket will not be sensible though so you're at the mercy of some 17 year old who doesn't know the difference between a Braeburn and a Jazz, and really doesn't care enough to stare at his laminated list long enough to figure it out. Same with pears, 20 years later I still don't care what the difference is between a Conference and whatever the other one is/was.
Doggo and pupper really gets my back up
Fur babies.
Folks with dog poo bags who, seeing the bin on the path already stuffed full, dump their bag next to the bin on the floor. Worse still are the ones who dump their sh1tbags on the slab where the bin, having been set alight by scrotes and removed by the council, used to be.
I shall clarify. They convey no useful information to me. It shouldn't require vigilance and effort to avoid ingesting a stock control tool.
Fur babies
and even worse, fur babies who've crossed the rainbow bridge.
and even worse, fur babies who’ve crossed the rainbow bridge.
Yoo monster, there wiv the angles. Fumin 😡
Fur babies
and even worse, fur babies who’ve crossed the rainbow bridge.
You know. I'm an animal lover and I can empathise with people's relationship with pets. A loss can hit as hard or harder than the loss of a family member.
But this saccharine-sweet sickly baby talk makes my shit itch. Are you 12? These are the same people who play dress-up with their dogs and cats, knitting them Christmas jumpers and hats and what have you, and they really really need to get laid.
People who aren't American and say "ass".
The word is "arse", you arseholes!
similarly, "Mom"
makes my shit itch
Such a simple phrase that conveys the emotion so eloquently....
The word is “arse”, you arseholes!
When I was at university up norf, I was led to believe that was a function of being a northerner (ass) or southerner (arse).
I have consequently since been terminally undecided as to which I prefer!
I don’t get why all the young girls are wearing ‘mum’ jeans
What are mum jeans?
I don’t know what “mum jeans” are. Does that make me more or less fleeky?
What's fleeky?
When I was at university up norf, I was led to believe that was a function of being a northerner (ass) or southerner (arse).
Is that not arse-backwards?
Stacey Solomon. Generally.
But also specifically for her lack of command of good grammar. There was a trailer I heard on tv recently for a forthcoming episode, and the soundclip was "Me and my team was [doing something...]" Two simple grammatical errors in about 5 words.
Just f***ing NO
People who try to carve a saddle into the butter.
Got a really cool hot wood filler gun. Not cheap at all. About £80. Should be good right?
Well yeah, except whoever designed the blow moulded case didn't consider that you might want to put the gun away mid-stick. You can't pull the stick out as it can damage the gun internals (according to the instructions) so to fit it back in the case you have to cut the stick off. 😡
The gun won't fit in any other way.

Stuff like this is just astounding really.
Got a really cool hot wood filler gun. Not cheap at all. About £80. Should be good right?
What one is that ? I thought proxxon(green) but 80 quid is about 4x what the proxxon one currently costs. In the market, but not sure if as spendy as that.
Websites that pop up a window you need to bat away asking to rate the site 3 seconds after you've landed on it. Then spring up another window usefully telling you 24 people are looking at the same thing or 32 people have bought one in the last 24hrs. So the **** what - do you think I'll feel the internet peer group pressure to such a degree that I'll just have to get that item? Then the real piss-me-off-de-resistance, sending me a spam email saying how they are 'holding' my basket 'for me' No you aren't - If thats the last item in stock and somebody else wants it you'll still be 'holding my basket' will you, or sending me an email saying you've got first dibs on this? No I didn't think so.
What one is that ? I thought proxxon(green) but 80 quid is about 4x what the proxxon one currently costs. In the market, but not sure if as spendy as that.
My mistake. £68 at Axminster

People who say 'spicy' when referring to how hot/how stong the chilli is in a given dish...
e.g. "I can't eat spicy food" ...nonsense, pretty much everything you eat has spices in it.
It's not spicy, its hot...ejits!
Spice:
a substance made from a plant, used to give a special flavour to food: Cinnamon, ginger, and cloves are all spices.
An ex of mine couldn't eat "spicy" food. Like, regular off-the-shelf Dolmio/Ragu bolognaise sauce was too spicy for her, making pasta I'd to start from scratch with tinned tomatoes. One time I put a couple of twists of black pepper in and she couldn't/wouldn't eat it.
I appreciate though, this is a fringe case. And frankly it was the least of her issues.
I don't think this has been done yet, but the modern trend towards 1000 calorie triple caramel double chocolate extra lard brownie iced extra shot gingerbread foam whipped soy milk latte... with sprinkles. My work is terrible for this - you nip in for a quick coffee before work and the person in front of you makes some ridiculous order that then takes the solitary barista 15 minutes to make. Even Greggs isn't immune from this.
I don’t think this has been done yet, but the modern trend towards 1000 calorie triple caramel double chocolate extra lard brownie iced extra shot gingerbread foam whipped soy milk latte… with sprinkles
Its not been done because i think it fails the "disproportionately" test. Seems perfectly reasonable to want to kill someone who orders a pudding instead of a coffee.
Really, the problem there is "the solitary barista." It's a single point of failure.
Back to Tesco self-checkout tills again. 15 minutes to closing on a Sunday this afternoon, the single busiest time to shop*, there's six tills and they had one Attendant on shift. Someone has a bottle of scotch with one of those stupid plastic security boxes on the neck which invariably jam and the entire process grinds to a screaming halt.
(* - I wouldn't normally go at that time if I could possibly avoid it because it's little more than a scrum, but I was scouring open pharmacies for stock of medicine and my girlfriend went "oh, if you're going to Tesco, can you just pick up...")
Hehe...I like a dash of milk/sugar in my coffee, so a latte or a flat white is easy for me...but my best friend likes a bog standard black coffee...it's like they don't understand what that is when you order that.
Milk? no, I want a black coffee!
Sugar? no, I just want a coffee!
Oh you want want espresso? no **** off!
They still brought it to the table on a tray with a silly little jug of milk along with several sachets of sugar and sweetner.
Mods: meme a bit sweary.
Mods: meme a bit sweary.
Sorry, allow me to retort...
