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Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

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Emojis, stickers and memes.

Used by anyone anywhere anyhow unless they are under 13 years old.

Note the lack of smiley face.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:26 pm
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Please may you contact ourselves regarding the hire car

Passive-aggressive emails from the Indian subcontinent that end 'Please revert to myself'. I suppose we just have to accept that Inglish and English are diverging, but I still find this excruciating.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:33 pm
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I've got a couple of colleagues who email "please may you..."  I know they are trying to be polite but it really irks me.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:39 pm
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The use of "dis" as the opposite of something. Eg. Regulated/disregulated, invited/disinvited and todays rage inducing one benefit/disbenefit.
There were perfectly acceptable words for all of the above before some asshat decided to invent a new word for the same thing.
Dis anything can get in the ****ing sea.

EDIT: angry face emoji removed to not upset Winston.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:41 pm
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Are you saying you peel carrots?

Sometimes. Depends on the carrots and what I'm doing with them.

By the way, if you use an actual peeler, keep going until you've shaved through the whole carrot into a pile of peelings. Good to eat like this!

Note the lack of smiley face.

And the lack of grumpy face. Now I'm confused. Are you being sarcastic? Your meaning is entirely lost without little faces, how am I meant to understand? 🤔❓


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:42 pm
thols2, fazzini, thols2 and 1 people reacted
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Shoelaces that come undone all the time.  It’s 2023, surely by now someone has invented shoelaces with a bit of friction

Have you tried the rugby knot*? Normal overhand knot then when you loop the lace round the bite, loop it twice. It looks like a normal knot, releases like a normal knot but it as tough as a double knot.

*this might not be the correct name, but it has always been called that in my house.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:48 pm
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 then when you loop the lace round the bite, loop it twice

will try


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:54 pm
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Americans on Youtube saying 'Acclimated' rather than Acclimatised.

Divs.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 12:57 pm
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bite

Bight.

(I was angry with myself for a second for getting so annoyed over a slight mistake, but then realised this is the perfect thread for it)


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 1:11 pm
leffeboy, Ambrose, Ambrose and 1 people reacted
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Googling Google maps for 'campsites', and what you often get is loads of caravan sites, that don't allow tents anyway, even if you did want to be surrounded by a corral of white plastic boxes on manicured gravel parking bays.

Caravans aren't camping. Where's the suffering?

Can't they call them just caravan sites so there's some separation when searching?*

*Yeah I know you can put parameters into Ukcampsite when searching, but their website was designed in the 1950s and I prefer to use Google maps.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 1:56 pm
Houns and Houns reacted
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With the tying of shoelaces, there are two ways of doing a normal knot depending on whether you start with right over left or left over right. If the "ears" of the knot are pointing in the same direction as the laces then it's the strong version and should resist coming undone, if the ears are at 90° to the laces (i.e. pointing up towards your leg and down to your toes) then it's the weak version of the knot.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 1:58 pm
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The use of “dis” as the opposite of something. Eg. Regulated/disregulated, invited/disinvited and todays rage inducing one benefit/disbenefit.<br />There were perfectly acceptable words for all of the above before some asshat decided to invent a new word for the same thing.<br />Dis anything can get in the **** sea.

EDIT: angry face emoji removed to not upset Winston.<br /><br />

on the flip side, it means the opposite of disgruntled is gruntled… 


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 2:37 pm
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The use of “dis” as the opposite of something.

and people who don't know the difference between 'uninterested' and 'disinterested'. They're the worst.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 2:57 pm
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Shoelaces that come undone all the time. It’s 2023, surely by now someone has invented shoelaces with a bit of friction

Round profile shoelaces are the culprit, flat ones are best.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 3:11 pm
leffeboy and leffeboy reacted
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on the flip side, it means the opposite of disgruntled is gruntled… 

It's been a great day. I'm turbed, enheartened and combobulated.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 3:57 pm
tjagain, paladin, fazzini and 5 people reacted
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Ok jam-bo, I concede there are some valid uses such as in the thread title but that doesn't mean people should stick it in front of any word they want to make up new words for no reason when we already have existing words for what they want to convey.
Notably, in my experience, the people using these primarily work for consultancies or 'think tanks' where they think it makes them sound clever. Instead it just marks them out as utter wallopers.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:10 pm
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With the tying of shoelaces, there are two ways of doing a normal knot depending on whether you start with right over left or left over right

I've been doing it wrong all my life.  Can I add myself to things that make me disproportionately cross

Or at least until I've tried this method for a week or two and it works


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:17 pm
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The use of “dis” as the opposite of something. Eg. Regulated/disregulated, invited/disinvited and todays rage inducing one benefit/disbenefit.

Disbenefits is a genuine one - it gets used a lot in transport modelling schemes where you're looking at the pros and cons of traffic interventions.

I promise you it's not being used to annoy you, it is an Actual Thing.

If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to revert to myself...

😉


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:26 pm
mogrim and mogrim reacted
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If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to revert to myself…

😉

When the day of freedom comes brother, you'll be first up against the wall.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:37 pm
leffeboy and leffeboy reacted
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Grown adults who should know better trying to speak like da yoof.

Remember when you used to laugh at middle aged folk trying to look cool by using words you used? Yeah, you're that guy now.

that's you

'Touch the grass'
Etc.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:48 pm
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Disbenefits is a genuine one – it gets used a lot in transport modelling schemes where you’re looking at the pros and cons of traffic interventions.

Does that make it a real word?  Disadvantage?  Downside?  Drawback? etc etc.  Lots of good english words to use that are the opposite of benefits

Lots of nonsense is regularly used in all sorts of specialities.  Doesn't stop it being poor english 🙂


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 4:55 pm
jonm81 and jonm81 reacted
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Typing a long reply then having the forum bin the lot because I used a bracket somewhere.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 6:00 pm
oceanskipper, colournoise, leffeboy and 3 people reacted
 jimw
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Senior people at work expecting you to work on work related thing when not at work. Or come in early/finish late for the same

I used to get a variation on this. I worked in a 6th form college where the start time for the students was 8.50am and finish at 4.10 pm. I used to arrive as the doors were being unlocked at 7 am because a, I work much better in the mornings, b, the traffic was so much easier so I could get there in 20 minutes rather than the 45 it would have taken me if  I left home at 8am and c, there were no queues for the photocopier etc and few distractions for at least an hour. I would then leave at about 4.20pm assuming there were no scheduled meetings as again the traffic was much easier and I was usually completely knackered by then ( I realise now that this was probably the start of my CFS ) get home have a break and then do some more preparation at home.
I used to get snide comments from my colleagues and sometimes from the management as being a ‘ clock watcher’, a‘part timer’ because I didn’t stay till 5 pm like they did and made sure the management had seen them. But some of them had turned up at 8.45am or later so I had spent at least as long as they had at work.

This was ten years ago but it still rankles


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 6:29 pm
leffeboy and leffeboy reacted
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used to get snide comments from my colleagues and sometimes from the management as being a ‘ clock watcher’, a‘part timer’ because I didn’t stay till 5 pm like they did and made sure the management had seen them. But some of them had turned up at 8.45am or later so I had spent at least as long as they had at work.

This was ten years ago but it still rankles

Did you ever send lots of emails that started "As I sit here in the office by myself at 7am..."?

If not you missed a trick.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 6:38 pm
sirromj and sirromj reacted
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There is no ‘I’ in team.

But there is a ‘U’ in *u**.

The I in team is in the A hole.


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 6:40 pm
sirromj, anorak, Murray and 3 people reacted
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I've found myself doing a quick ctrl-c on my text after clicking submit if I spot the browser struggling!


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 7:08 pm
thols2 and thols2 reacted
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Work family
Work wife
Work hubby


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 8:31 pm
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With the tying of shoelaces, there are two ways of doing a normal knot depending on whether you start with right over left or left over right

I’ve been doing it wrong all my life. Can I add myself to things that make me disproportionately cross

Or at least until I’ve tried this method for a week or two and it works

If that doesn’t work out here’s a few more options.

https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm


 
Posted : 17/10/2023 11:10 pm
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and people who don’t know the difference between ‘uninterested’ and ‘disinterested’. They’re the worst.<br /><br />

Myself couldn’t be more disinterested if I tried.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 1:29 am
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I could care less to be honest


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 8:11 am
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It’s been a great day. I’m turbed, enheartened and combobulated

I always feel the same after a night dancing at the co


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 8:21 am
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Some of these make my feels at dis-ease.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 8:25 am
thols2 and thols2 reacted
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I always feel the same after a night dancing at the co

-op?


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 8:35 am
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People don't peel carrots? First against the wall when I'm in charge.

With the tying of shoelaces, there are two ways of doing a normal knot depending on whether you start with right over left or left over right.

Now that I'm less disproportionately cross about losing a lengthy post I'll try again.

This is a Granny Knot vs a Reef Knot. If you tie two cords (say) left-over-right and then left-over-right again, you end up with a shit knot because there is very little friction in the system. If instead they oppose (so one LoR and the other RoL) then the cords run parallel and the knot is considerably stronger.

The former is unfortunately instinctive. Try this as an experiment: put your hands on the table in front of you, then quickly fold your arms. You'll have one hand on top, the other underneath. Now repeat the process only folding them the other way. It's trivial with practice but the first time you try it'll likely bake your noodle. (I'm available for parties, weddings, bar mitzvahs...)

Now, the same is true of shoelaces, only it's not as immediately obvious when the second knot is formed with two loops learned by some bollocks about a rabbit sticking its ears up its arse or something back when you were in infant school. Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they're crooked then you're probably tying them wrong.

Unlearning this after decades is hard but the fix is actually really easy, carry on tying the bow as you always have and just reverse the 'hand' of the bottom knot instead.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 2:46 pm
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Unlearning this after decades is hard...

As I am now discovering.  I couldn't describe how I tie laces but my hands absolutely know and are not happy about the change


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 3:24 pm
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People don’t peel carrots? First against the wall when I’m in charge.

Nobody lies on their death bed wishing they'd spent more time peeling carrots.
Satsumas, yes. Carrots, no.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 4:10 pm
thols2, sirromj, fazzini and 3 people reacted
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People don’t peel carrots? First against the wall when I’m in charge

People who waffle at great length about tying shoelaces. Shoelaces FFS! 🙄 Any last requests? 😉

This will blow your mind. I never peel carrots, parsnips,  mushrooms,  potatoes*  or tomatoes. Life is too short and the most nutritious and best tasting part of most veg is the skin. A quick scrub/wash and jobs a good un.

*except (reluctantly) for mash. For chips, wedges, roasters, boiled tatties I simply CBA and reckon they taste all the better for it.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 4:26 pm
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As I am now discovering. I couldn’t describe how I tie laces but my hands absolutely know and are not happy about the change

String Theory? 😁

Do the bow as you always have, reverse the initial knot.

I never peel carrots, parsnips, mushrooms, potatoes* or tomatoes.

I always knew you were a ****ing deviant.

Mash can be the one you don't need to peel. Take baby potatoes almost cooked through, transfer to a wok with chopped spring onions and too much butter that have been sizzling for a couple of minutes, bash it all together. Bit of salt, herbs du jour, You'll never want regular mash again.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 4:34 pm
dc1988, leffeboy, leffeboy and 1 people reacted
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Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they’re crooked then you’re probably tying them wrong.

[looks at laces, is smug...]


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 4:51 pm
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Look at your laces right now, are they straight or are they at a pissed angle? If they’re crooked then you’re probably tying them wrong

I humbly refer your honours to the comment I made some pages back about tying coats, jumpers etc around waists with reef knots versus granny knots. Verily 'tis the same bloody thing.


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 5:09 pm
leffeboy and leffeboy reacted
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It is. (I think I replied at the time, also?)


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 5:12 pm
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You did indeed. We appeared to be a minority of two; heyho


 
Posted : 18/10/2023 5:13 pm
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Training courses where the trainer spends the first hour on an introduction which isn’t particularly helpful and could have been done in ten minutes. <br /><br />

At this rate I’m going to struggle to do all three sessions.


 
Posted : 19/10/2023 2:43 am
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Training courses where the trainer spends the first hour on an introduction which isn’t particularly helpful and could have been done in ten minutes.

Followed by “let’s go around the room and introduce ourselves.”

No. Just no. I tend to stay awake just long enough in sessions like this to appreciate that the content might be mildly interesting in the hands of a competent person.

I’ll add to this mandatory computer-based training that’s the same irrelevant content every year and which lacks a fast-forward button.


 
Posted : 19/10/2023 6:34 am
Murray, MoreCashThanDash, Murray and 1 people reacted
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mandatory computer-based training that’s the same irrelevant content every year and which lacks a fast-forward button

They've changed ours so that we can read a short summary and go straight to the test, far better.


 
Posted : 19/10/2023 9:01 am
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