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People who block the pump at the petrol station when they aren't buying fuel, just a crap take-away coffee and some fags.
Honestly, we need to rethink that as a system. "Oh, I can't park my car up after buying fuel, they might think I'm stealing it." So they leave their car at the back pump blocking off several others whilst they go and do their weekly shop in a goddamn petrol station.
Just.
****.
The ****.
Off.
Fully able people who park in the disabled spots right outside my gym, get the lift to the first floor where the equipment is, and then go walking on therunning machines.Just go for a bloody walk!
FTFY. Running sucks, I don't know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you're going to do it, why not do it outside where it's nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.
FTFY. Running sucks, I don’t know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you’re going to do it, why not do it outside where it’s nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.
Because, well - reasons!! I'm trying to ease my way back into running after an ACL op and for the time being, a treadmill is just easier. More cushioned, predicable, stable surface to run on. It's hilly in every direction by me were I to run from the door, with poor surfaces and I'm not ready for that yet. I'm getting there though and I agree, I much prefer running outdoors and my goal is to get back to it as soon as I can.
I’m trying to ease my way back into running after an ACL op and for the time being, a treadmill is just easier.
That I can understand. Otherwise, the idea of gyms just boils my piss.
My colleague eats a banana every morning.
He peels the entire thing out of its skin.
The first few chews make it sound like its a stick of rock. really crunchy. its not. its a soft banana.
upon completion he will then lick and suck the end of each finger, removing the banana residue.
Boils my urine. How do you make a crunch sound? If you didnt remove the whole thing from its skin, you wouldnt get need to suck on each finger tip, then wipe your spitty fingers on your trousers to dry them off..... GRRRRRrrrraaaaugggghhhhhhaaaaaaaayouidiot!
Lovely bloke mind!
My colleague eats a banana every morning.
Years ago as a student, I had a part-time job in a chip shop and every morning break we were treated to a choice of a pastry from the local bakers. The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod whilst trying to bite into them. It is making me shiver just recalling this in writing.
Stuff that makes other people disproportionatly cross (apparently)
The bloke this morning in his tatty Astra coming the wrong way up a one-way residential street and expecting me to pull over to let him by, by shouting at me to "Just ****ing pull over mate" You know what dude, if you'd have asked nicely, or even just reversed straight away, you wouldn't have wound yourself up into a frothing rage this morning.
****.
The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod whilst trying to bite into them. It is making me shiver just recalling this in writing.
Just think what she might've done with your willy.
You're welcome.
The bloke this morning in his tatty Astra coming the wrong way up a one-way residential street and expecting me to pull over to let him by, by shouting at me to “Just **** pull over mate” You know what dude, if you’d have asked nicely, or even just reversed straight away, you wouldn’t have wound yourself up into a frothing rage this morning.
Ah yes. The old "you've gone out of your way to be a self-entitled git and now this is somehow my problem to resolve" manoeuvre. I keep a book in the glovebox for such scenarios.
Just think what she might’ve done with your willy.
She was a pro.
The lovely old lady who worked with me would sit down at the staff table, take out her false teeth, put them on the table beside her then proceed to eat things like vanilla slices and chocolate eclairs, mouthing at them like a cod
Slight thread diversion (and I may have regaled this before), but this reminds me of a similar experience. It didn't make me disproportionately cross though. It had a much more physical effect. Mid 1980s, I was on the Liverpool to Douglas IOM ferry. In those days the Manx Steam Packet boats didn't have stabilisers. It was December, the boat was packed and the sea was very, very rough. The ship was pitching and rolling violently. I was congratulating myself on my sea legs and cast iron stomach as chaos ensued all around. Plates smashing, stuff flying off tables, crying, groaning and vomiting. Lots and lots of vomiting - everywhere you looked. I went to the heads and it was ankle deep in spew with a little tidal wave going back and forth as the boat pitched. Every trap, urinal and sink had someones head in it, hurling their intestines into the void.
I was still holding it together and sat down at a table and the bloke opposite me also seemed unperturbed by the seas. He glanced at me. There was a kinship I thought, two hardy sailors in the midst of all this mayhem. He was an old geezer and he took his metal sandwich tin out and opened it. I knew immediately what was on the sandwiches as I could smell it. Fish paste. I don't like fish paste. The smell of this mixed with the all pervading smell of vomit and a faint whiff of diesel was quite distinctive. I watched in horror, seemingly in slow motion as his lifted his fishy sarnie to his toothless gob and began sucking at it. Noisily, with a little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth. This image is etched in my brain. In that very instant, the contents of my stomach decided they needed to vacate my body with unseemly haste. I was so completely taken by surprise at this rapid turn of events, that I only just managed to turn my head a fraction and avoid hosing the bloke from head to foot with diced carrots and tomato skins.
Not my proudest moment.
One thousand replies. Blimey, we are a frustrated bunch aren't we?
FTFY. Running sucks, I don’t know why people do it for fun. It is great exercise though so, if you’re going to do it, why not do it outside where it’s nice instead of on a machine inside a room full of sweaty muscle bros.
You’re assuming I was running.
I was picking things up and putting them down again.
I completely agree with you on running outdoes and that’s where I do it.
I was getting disproportionately angry at people using disabled spaces when they shouldn’t, being too lazy to walk up a single flight of stairs in the gym, and then walking on a running machine.
When they could have just gone for a walk in the great outdoors.
It’s good that you realise it’s disproportionate to get cross about those things 👍
That's probably why I put it in this thread
I was getting disproportionately angry at people using disabled spaces when they shouldn’t, being too lazy to walk up a single flight of stairs in the gym, and then walking on a running machine.
There's a perfectly fit guy at the gym that I go to. Instead of parking in the car park where there is more than enough space to go around, he parks his big BMW SUV literally right outside the door to the gym on double yellow lines. He also spends more time staring at his phone than he does using the equipment.
I was getting disproportionately angry at people using disabled spaces when they shouldn’t,
I don't think that's disproportionate.
I live a few doors up from a fish & chip shop. The road directly outside is variously double yellows and a disabled bay. There's ample parking literally like 20 yards away. The number of entitled "I'll only be a minute" cat funts who sit there noshing away in their Range Rovers is just astonishing.
When you decide to give yourself an easy life for once and have a ready meal, but when you peel off the plastic lid it just rips around the edges, leaving the middle firmly glued in place.
Cinch adverts.
When you get an older car MOT and they stick half a dozen advisory eg slight misting of oil on a shock absorber
I took a car I bought back to where it got a few mot' s over the years and the corrosion or grease on 2 brake pipes advisory from a year ago failed the car, it has only done 4000 miles over the year and kept in a garage over the winter. I was told the corrosion has got really bad over 12 months
People who block the pump at the petrol station when they aren’t buying fuel, just a crap take-away coffee and some fags.
I’ll go one further. Anyone that doesn’t use pay at pump where available. Bastards. Fill up and **** off! You don’t need an overpriced mars bar, crap coffee or paper.
These food eating distractions remind me as an apprentice getting a bit of a hard time from one guy especially
Anyway the other apprentice who was always sent to the bakers for the bully journeyman everyday for cream apple turnovers and cream eclairs but probably never suffered from high cholesterol as on the way back the cheeky scamp would get his own back by squeezing and sucking most of the cream out
He would have been disproportionately cross had he known
Butter gynaecology.
You know what I mean. Folk who peel back like 1cm of the paper / foil under the lid and then try to extract the entire tub's contents through it.
"can I speak to the person that deals with your finance* please?"
"in what regard? can I help?"
"do you deal with the company finance?"
"which bit?"
"I need to speak to the person that deals with the company finance"
"OK, which bit, maybe I can help"
"the company finance, do you deal with that?"
"so you keep saying, what roughly do you actually want to sell me?"
"do you deal with the company finance?"
*see also logistics, stationery, packaging, space program...
Being pestered to leave a review for every single sodding thing you buy, every service you use, every place you visit. Time and again, even if you've already reviewed it multiple times. Just **** off and leave me alone you needy, whiney bastards.
People who wear current issue military kit and aren't in the military. ****ing wetwipes.
“do you deal with the company finance?”
I think I'd be disproportionately cross with anyone who rang up asking such a vague and ill defined question. In most companies I've worked in it could be hundreds of people in finance, each dealing with a specific subset.
“do you deal with the company finance?”
Yeah, I assimed it was @dangerourbrain asking this, but now I'm not so sure.
People who wear current issue military kit and aren’t in the military. **** wetwipes.
My Altberg boots bought from an online surplus store are perfect brown walking boots, wetwipe or not.
Men that urinate in the toilets when there are urinals available
Those of us older chaps with prostate problems don't like to stand around for 3 minutes or more at an urinal. Using the traps enables us to allow the flow, pause and flow again cycle to complete without tying up the quick use urinals and attracting unwanted attention.
Being pestered to leave a review
Imgine if you will, working in the NHS, where the Friends and Family test has become the single thing by which we're apparently measured these days, not "Are you better?" but "Did you like the doctor?"
If I were world king etc etc
People who wear current issue military kit and aren’t in the military
Saw one in head to toe MTP waiting for a bus the other week, the image only disturbed by the fact that he was maybe 5'6" was at least 280lbs with a beer belly to rival big daddy...
Saw one in head to toe MTP waiting for a bus the other week, the image only disturbed by the fact that he was maybe 5’6″ was at least 280lbs with a beer belly to rival big daddy…
Usually the way. Met plenty at public engagement events, would often lead with 'I was going to join the army but...'
Have I mentioned this already? People holding phones horizontally flat in front of their mouth. What's that all about, is it supposed to be 'cool' like holding guns sideways in a John Woo movie? I keep expecting to hear them asking Scotty to beam them up.
(Also, "movie," it's a goddamn film. I make myself disproportionately cross sometimes.)
Have I mentioned this already? People holding phones horizontally flat in front of their mouth. What’s that all about, is it supposed to be ‘cool’ like holding guns sideways in a John Woo movie?
Like a handheld radio? Yeah, very bizarre.
I'll counter that with smart phones that mute the call or hang up if it is even lightly touched by a bit of loose hair* when you put it near your ear. (I do hold it horizontally but use head phones as no one needs to hear the other side of the conversation but me)
*long hair, not over excessive ear hair
I have young persons in the office, they've said;
1. I'm not on the phone, I'm recording a voice note
2. I dropped my phone and now the "ear" microphone doesn't work, so I have to use it like that
3. They've seen it on the Kardashians, and they do it so their make up doesn't get smudged, and everyone copies them
4. Oh yeah I do that to
5. because they're all dickheads, that's why.
They only do that phone holding nonsense on “reality” shows so the microphone on set can pick up both sides of the conversation. People who watch said shows are too stupid to know this and think that by copying they are one step closer to being like their idols in the shows.
See also point 5 above.
You calling me a dickhead? I'd add a smiley but I can't work out how to, see point 6 below
6. They're old and incompetent and can't use this new fangled technology properly.
@jag1 no it’s a Venn diagram really, people who hold their phones like that to copy TV are dickheads, not all people who use their phone like that as there are (admittedly very few) reasons why it might be appropriate, other than a misguided attempt to try and look cool…
I thought it were so the microwaves don't fry their brains or something?
People wearing tough mudder T shirts, I imagine they think they’re proper bonkers zany for running round a muddy field
People wearing tough mudder T shirts, I imagine they think they’re proper bonkers zany for running round a muddy field
I don't quite get that one myself, but meets the thread brief 👍 I imagine they are just chuffed with completing a fun/challenging event and fancied a memento of it? Surely If they've done one of those events, wearing the T-Shirt is no different to someone wearing a 'Fulchester 10K' T-Shirt or whatever?
I’ll counter that with smart phones that mute the call or hang up if it is even lightly touched by a bit of loose hair* when you put it near your ear
... are broken. Proximity sensors have been a thing forever, the touchscreen should disable if it's near your face.
6. They’re old and incompetent and can’t use this new fangled technology properly.
You don't know how a phone works?
I thought it were so the microwaves don’t fry their brains or something?
Bit late for that.
Vegans.
No wait, I've done that one...