[Closed] Splitting up - who gets what?

Ok, so what if theres still a mortgage? Does this mean the 'wife' and child have to take on an additional to buy out your share of the Equity?

Something I wouldn't do. Whoever has custody should have the lot IMO.

I have a friend who was walked out on and she had to take on additional loans etc to pay him his equity in the property as 'he is planning a new family and needs the money'. Nice. Nothing to cold and calculated. Its not all about 'getting what is due to me' it should be doing what is right.

Hora - you are making an awful lot of assumptions there and as for

Whoever has custody should have the lot IMO.

❓ Are you of working age?
❓ Do you have a job?
❓ Can't you open the paper and find a small bedsit or flat to rent?

Or do you just take what you are entitled to because it says that in law?

How about you leave a roof over their heads. IMO same as if the 'wife' decides she wants to walk out/leave.

Is that stunningly hard to grasp? If your wife was the one leaving you with your son or daughter would you feel it was morally right that you had to buy her out of the house?

Maybe its just me but I'd go 100% with what is right for the child. In addition if I was leaving because we'd argued and I'd found someone new I'd leave as much as possible for them.

Worried about feathering the nest for another man? Thats your decision to leave.

Sorry, I come across as harsh but I was the child in such a situation and I witness selfishness when things break up.

1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes but it's not quite as easy as that as most people do not live in the simplistic world of Hora eg. I had to borrow money from my folks for a few weeks last time for a deposit because EVERYTHING I had was ploughed into the house and I had no savings. Not everyone can pull £1200 up at any given time, especially when you are part of a 'partnership'!

No-one but you is talking about NOT leaving a roof over anyones head and equally no-one is advocating that any child should suffer as a consequence of parents splitting up. What we are trying, or should be trying to achieve, is an amicable agreement which is fair to all parties and maintenance, as far as possible, of the standard of living prior to the split of all parties. We are not apportioning blame in the case the OP is talking about as we don't know the circumstances.

Is that so hard for you to grasp?

So take half the house then 🙄

In addition, with your attempts at trying to get a rise out of me repeatedly I'm guessing you have some anger issues/something underlining? After all two sides to a story neh?

horabollocks 😀

horabollocks

No. I'm not trying to get a rise out of you and I don't have any underlying anger issues that I'm aware of. It is you who seems to have issues because of the way your Father behaved.

Going back to the OP

They are married with one child (still at school) and the house is paid for and in his name (he'd bought it before he met her)

Horabolox - used in circumstances when the poster spouts such utter crap that it is unwise to surmise that it is anything other than weak trolling.

Have you got the painters in today Hora?

Well normally I'm easy going but hey if I was the one walking away I'd more inclined to leave more than my fairshare behind. There was a close point personally and that was in my mind. This coming from someone who sank every penny he had saved into the deposit and repairs/refurbishment..

What if there's a dog involved?

my cousin had to hand over the house and 2 kids plus close to 60% of his take home and first thing the former mrs did was stop working, get implants,lease a range rover and move a new bloke in.. took my cousin 5 yrs to get over it he'd always wanted a range rover..

What if there's a dog involved?

Half it

I left my husband many years ago, took the kids and some basic bits of furniture and never asked for a share of the house, but about a year later he offered me half of it's worth - I wasn't going to refuse it, I had a low paid job and he earnt lots. The kids came and went between both of us as they pleased, and he funded them through uni. I reckon we were both very civilised about it, although he still doesn't want to speak to me 17 years later!

Half it

Oh, and what bandsaw for dog division?

my cousin had to hand over the house and 2 kids plus close to 60% of his take home and first thing the former mrs did was stop working, get implants,lease a range rover and move a new bloke in.. took my cousin 5 yrs to get over it he'd always wanted a range rover..

I can see that would be gutting, what Model Range Rover was it?

Has anyone mentioned pensions yet?

Cos their entitled to half of that too, and it's at the pensionable age not when the separation occurred.

Thing is "other parent" needs to provide a roof over the head of kids also, as most separated couples share responsibility of kids.

When I split with my ex we split equity 60/40 and she got nearly all of contents, I took the gardening tools and that's about it. She ended up buying me out of my share and stayed in the house with her new fella.

Hora.... not being funny mate as I also had preconceived ideas in my head what would happen if we'd split up, but then it happens and your attitude changes. I was very fair but wouldn't be walked over and refused to walk away with nothing.

*One of my mates racked up £25,000 in legal fees to find this out

He got off lightly then.

Despite spending significanly more all the legally promised settlements made to me evaporated out of court. I was at breaking point by then and I just walked away. Best day's work I ever did.

To OP....

All assets split 50/50 if married, you negotiate either way depending on who will have main care of kids and whether/if which parents are working.

There are no fixed rules and depends on how much either party is prepared to give away.

My advice is don't take legal advice and try to keep it friendly, unless other party gets bitter. I spent £K'sss on solicitor and we ended up agreeing what we'd discussed at the beginning, she engaged solicitor 1st due to her evil twin sister giving her bad advice.

Hora.... not being funny mate as I also had preconceived ideas in my head what would happen if we'd split up, but then it happens and your attitude changes. I was very fair but wouldn't be walked over and refused to walk away with nothing.

Thats the sticky part though isn't it. If the partner (be it male or female) has met someone else then theres the perception the new guy has to take on a burden..

If its the bloke wanting away then its different IMO and tough what happens afterwards. You can't expect someone to stay a martyr/alone forever..

I'm pretty sure it's 50:50 these days.

The wife gets half, the lawyers get half.

Matey has been to the solicitor's and the split is 70:30 her:him.

You get the pants you're wearing*. Your partner gets everything else.

*if you're lucky

Kill her?

[i]IF it happens to me. MrsHora would get the house, all of it. From my own bitter personal experience I wouldn't fight for any of it and I'd make sure hora junior isn't left in poverty.[/i]

Yep, ex-colleague did that. And then had to pay out more later as she and her new lovers' had spunked it all away and she and his kids were going to be kicked out...

Legal advice - yep, for sure but try to find a decent solicitor - one I went to for advice took one look at my (she was the one ending it all) position (she was the one ending it all) and told me to brace myself for not taking a thing away from the situation... nothing at all, shall we say, constructive, came out of the conversation, not all all...
Guess I was a very lucky boy though, Mrs Turner 1.0 and I had no kids, and kept it amicable. In the end she paid me out as the house was all in her name and I was the one moving out.... might have helped my case that pretty much all her family were 'on my side' and were not about to see me dropped with nowt but the clothes I was wearing...

Lots of bitter men here...

For a bit more balance. A female friend of mine found out her husband was having an affair. He scarpered, spunked their savings on a car, left her with the large mortgage, a 2-year old and a part-time job. She'd given up full-time work to raise their child. He doesn't bother seeing his kid or contribute maintenance.

It seems to me that any divorce settlement should be in her favour. I doubt he'd see it like that.

I can tell you some stories of men leaving with as much as possible- one friend who went through a Muslim ceremony and found out 3 kids later that he got the house, another got another woman pregnant and treated his devastad as toilet paper/coldly.

Of course (for me) its 'us and them' as soon as they decide to leave their wife but as soon as the woman finds a new man she's 'snake with tats'.

My Dad did as Hora suggested. When the family split up he left and renounced all claim to the family home. In return my Mum relinquished any part of his future inheritances or pensions. He paid good maintenance as well. Despite that, it was still pretty hard for my Mum as a single parent on a low income. My Dad's relationship with his mistress fell apart and he did end up in shared accommodation for a while, we still visited him there. You know what, I really respect him for making sure his children were not disrupted any more than necessary. Every case is different but 50-50 from a marriage seems fair to me, then adjust if there are kids involved to safeguard them.

If a woman has given up a career to raise kids then it must be recognised that she will probably be significantly affected by this for the rest of her working life.

*shakes head at the straights...*

And they won't let me get hitched 'cos I'll destroy the the "sanctity of marriage" 🙄

Naughty hora naughty thoughts stop 8)