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We have our own bank accounts and I don't care what she spends her money on, although she makes comments if I spend a lot of money on bike stuff or camera equipment.
We have a joint bank account that we both stick a £500 in when it's running low, that gets spent on shopping and other joint purchases.
That stops her asking for money for food, but doesn't stop her whinging about me spending money on stuff.
Women....can't live with em....um, that's about it.
what she earns, she keeps. what i earn, she keeps.
As an old mate of mine used to say "I'm in charge of incomings, she's in charge of outgoings" 😉
My salary gets paid into my account, a wodge is transferred to joint account where mortgage, pensions, all that stuff comes out. What's left pays for everything else.
I'm sure there is some more financial trickery in there, but I'm not really very good with money. Apart from spending it. My view is we both have jobs, she just doesn't get paid for hers!
I earn more than my partner so once a year I ask him how much he gets in his hand each month and then I ratio it based upon that. I pay for all bills and we have a joint credit card. If his job changes and he gets more then I'll modify the spreadsheet of outgoings appropriately.
Of course my function has just been outsourced to HP so he may be paying for a lot more soon... 🙁
we have salaries into our own accounts and a joint (which is fuelled 50/50) for mortgage, bills and food. it works and the person who earns more contributes more to the big stuff and does the saving
I have enough bikes but don't go silly - mrs Ed has a relatively fancy car (well anything is compared to my ageing focus but I don't spend a lot on motors, never will) neither of us have debts so it works ok
[i]Here's a questions for those that have re-married/new relationship after a divorce - are you more careful with your money, in regards to what the other half has access too?
Know a handful of couples who have re-married, and they have all gone down the road of salaries into personal account (not joint, as was before), one pays for this, the other for that, etc.[/i]
Yes, in our case. Both married before with joint account and reckless spending partners.
How does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
Mrs Druidh keeps all her wages, but tends to buy all of the weekly shopping etc, plus some other regular outgoings.
I keep all my wages/pension but pay all of the other regular bills (used to include the mortgage too) and am responsible for savings.
Neither asks the other "how much did that cost" as neither of us would spend more than we could, as a family, afford.
Clubber's way here too, ie we both get £200 pcm 'pocket money' and the rest is bills or saved for house stuff or holidays.
Interestingly (for me!) I have dropped my hours every so slightly and mtrs julian is incresing hers; I still work more hours than her (both on exactly the same hourly wage) but I have the children while she is at work and vice versa. She also rides and races mountain bikes so we spend similar amounts on bikes and events, and she is well aware of what i spend on bikes!
druidh - MemberHow does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
It only works with similar incomes.
You have to make a deal that works and clearly 50 /50 don't if one of you earns multiples of the other and / or one does most of the childcare. I think its important for both partners to have their own money tho
I'd like to just have all money go into one account, and all bills/toys/etc come back out. I earn more than the Missus (as she's now part time since baby came along), but even if I earnt 5x what she does, I'd still want her to have as 'much of the pot' as I do. Essentially, it's all 'our' money, whoever earns it.
In reality, because I can't be bothered to change bank details/standing orders etc, we both pay into a joint account for the mortgage/bills, then we each pay for random (joint) stuff out of our own accounts as that's easiest...
She's probably fleecing me for GHDs or something, but I'm happy...
DrP
When I was a kid my dad's wages would go into the joint account and mum's wages would go into her account. If he needed money he would ask - different times...
How does all of this 50:50 stuff work when you have kids??
Just fine - we both work part time and earn similar amounts.
I wish, she goes to the Reebok gym, £100 a month
Can I check I've got this straight, steve - her expensive gym membership counts as "joint" expenditure, but your biking purchases come from the leftovers when it's split 3 ways?
Separate accounts here and each just spend what we need/want to. If one of us is unintentionally building up funds and the other reducing, then we just make a concious effort to pay for a few more things from the greater pot, eg "you can pay the house insurance for this year"
Whilst I earn more, I'm also definitely less inclined to part with money without comparing prices etc first, so it suits me fine that by default I manage the larger part of the spend. Where she'd likely renew her insurance out of convenience, I'd want to see a big chunk of Quidco and would always pay it on a card that pays me cashback.
Since we moved in together about 16 years ago what's mine is hers and what's her's is mine, all monies in lumped together, all outgoings agreed on before big ones, or evened out over time on more spontaneous/selfish stuff.
Her sister was in a relationship where they paid equal amounts in for all their outgoings, always seemed a bit clinical and souless to me, if you're one family you should have one pool of money, I don't see how it wouldn't cause friction otherwise, even before kids.
how do you work it if you have kids from a previous relationship living with you though?
i ask because my ex never wanted to contribute towards the bills, rent etc , saying why should he pay for my kids. he lived here with us as a family but i had to pay everything. he would occasionally buy a bit of food but never anything substantial. i didn't expect him to pay for my kids, but i did expect him to pay his share of bills etc. it caused a lot of arguments. (hence he is now an ex!)
how would others do this ?
Her sister was in a relationship where they paid equal amounts in for all their outgoings, always seemed a bit clinical and souless to me, if you're one family you should have one pool of money, I don't see how it wouldn't cause friction otherwise, even before kids.
Clinical and soulless is good - it's just boring household expenditure stuff after all. Why on earth do you think such a situation would cause friction when you're quite clearly paying your way? Also plenty of examples on here where it's not a problem - in my case it's a complete non-issue as we have plenty enough money in the joint pot that all the bills get paid and there's still usually something left over to contribute to holidays.
On the contrary, I can see that having a single pot of money and hence having to agree the purchase of anything you want to get is far more likely to cause friction. Do you never get into an argument over something you want to buy, or get told you can't buy something you want? Neither of those situations occur to me, because I simply spend the money which is mine to do what I want with - at the worst I get some comment about me spending money on silly things.
AdamW - MemberOf course my function has just been outsourced to HP
Outsaucing, surely?
TAXI!
😉
how do you work it if you have kids from a previous relationship living with you though?
Maybe it's just me, but if they were living with me I'd like to think I'd treat them as if they were my kids (even if they didn't see it that way), hence it's no different to any other family finances. Your ex sounds horrible (as they say on mumsnet 😉 ).