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[b]oldnpastit[/b] I've been through much the same, feel free to email me if you want to vent or question. Much love to your family though, hold them close dude...
I simply cannot comprehend what you're going through. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Depression is a terrible affliction, poorly understood and badly treated by and large.
Heartfelt wishes that things improve.
Good to hear you've had family and friends visiting.
Take care of yourself.
Rich
Best wishes at this terrible time.
Terrible. My heart is heavy for you X
Oldnpastit - never met you but as a father of two boys, one who also struggles with seeing the hope and possibilities of the future, my thoughts are with you.
Can't think of anything to say that I think will be helpful except best wishes at what is clearly a difficult time...
Best wishes and a positive future
I have a friend going through a similar situation with his daughter.
I hope you and your family find the strength to get through this horrible situation. Good luck, my thoughts will be with you.
I'm sure that it was hard for you to do, but thanks for the update OP. A lot of people are following this thread and pulling for you, your family, and your son!
I am wishing for something positive to come from this for you all. Especially your son. I can't begin to comprehend what you're all going through. Stay strong.
What can anyone say that will help? Like so many others been thinking of this all day. My thoughts go out to you and your family.
My thoughts are with you.
There is a charity called PAPYRUS which aims to help young people who are feeling suicidal. A friend of mines daughter is doing a run in Richmond in support of the charity and in remembrance of her best friend who took her own life last year.
[url= https://www.papyrus-uk.org/ ]Charity Link[/url]
@oldnpastit, thanks for the update, thinking of you all again today and I hope your son's condition improves.
Oh my goodness.
My thoughts are with you and all the rest of your family. As said above, take a tiny step at a time.
Make sure you look after yourself too, eat properly and get some sleep when possible.
bunnyhop x
That's so hard... hoping for the best for you and your son. Take care and look after yourself.
His pupils react to light, and they're going to very slightly reduce the amount of sedation he's under. Having stuck pins in his legs yesterday, they're going to be replaced with a rod in a few days time.
It's been really quite humbling listening to his friends talk about him. It seems they all knew about his drug and drink issues, and urged him to go and see his GP. Of course, he refused, and apparently was instead trying to cure himself based on what he'd read on the internet, self-medicating with an assortment of prescription drugs, presumably purchased via the internet.
I've got to admit to having very mixed emotions: if he recovers and goes back to behaving as he did before, it will be very hard indeed.
Talking about it helps; thanks both to people on here, and those I've spoken to out in the real world.
I've read this a few times at an absolute loss as to what to say, but wanted to post whatever support it is I feel this offers. As most have said, there's very little anyone can say to ease what you're going through right now. But, know there's a community right here thinking of you and your family. Some kind and empathetic folk who have been through similar offering their time and ear if you need it. If I could offer anything more I would. Like everyone else we're all hoping that things will turn out as well as they possibly can for you all. Look after yourself and make the most of whatever support surrounds you. Wishing you all of whatever it is I possibly can.
Kev
His pupils react to light, and they're going to very slightly reduce the amount of sedation he's under. Having stuck pins in his legs yesterday, they're going to be replaced with a rod in a few days time.
Sounds positive.
There are lots of people who've done what your son have done, survived, and have changed for the better as a result of their near death experience.
Hopefully that will be the case.
Clearly a lot of positive thoughts and sympathy for you here, we've never met but thanks for keeping in touch.
All the best.
B
Thanks for the update, I realise you won't have met most of the posters on here and vice versa, but i think we're all hoping things work or for you and your family, especially your son. Talk away, you'll always find someone to listen, and equally we appreciate the time you've taken
[s]if[/s] when he recovers, just be there for him.
Hope the recovery continues. Good luck again.
Give him a gentle hug, hold him close, I have just done so with my son. I found it hard to explain to him why I was giving this random act of affection, I was choked up. Oldnpastit, I cannot even begin to appreciate your turmoil. Words can be stunningly powerful, I wish that I had them to help your family right now. Be strong, be true.
Sounds a small step forward if the docs are reducing your son's sedation. Hopefully more small steps in the next few days!
As a dad,I absolutely sympathise and hope never have to go through the same thing.
I wish you all the best, and hopefully you can persuade your son to come on here for some group/community therapy?
Thanks for the update oldnpastit, it's good to hear positive news no matter how slight the improvement.
Glad to hear that there are some small improvements ,we hope to hear of many more over the coming weeks .
Good to hear too. It sounds like he is getting very good care.
I know that is very easy to say, but try not to think too much about the long term right now. Take care of yourself and those who are going through this with you.
Best wishes. Neil.
That sounds positive. Hopefully it's all up from here on in. More man hugs from the Sandwich clan.
It would be a good idea for you to have a real life friend/therapist to talk to once the worst is past. I had a bit of a breakdown after Ms Sandwich had her attempt. A minor bump in the company car set it off and I was out of productive society for 6 weeks.
Not easy being a parent is it. I've got a 17 year old, I chat with the parent's of his mates too. Most admit their kids are driving them nuts with their mood s and behaviour, one sends her son to a psychologist.
I'm a teacher so I'm supposed to be trained to deal with them. Frankly it doesn't help being trained to manage the unmanageable. It provides consolation in knowing you're not alone in the chaos though.
We as parents build our lives around our kids, mentally and physically. I closed the business to have time, bought a house with a nice garden near nice schools, planned weekends and holidays around sports and activities, taught him everything I could. And right now I'm getting most of it thrown back in my face.
It's quite normal I'm told, being treated like dirt, talked down to, lied to, picking up the pieces after the latest excesses, dealing with the anger when anything goes wrong (or right). "He's the young wolf asserting his authority and will kill you, the pack leader, and take over", says a doctor friend. Yet some days he's delightful, loving, charming enthusiastic.
After a series of bad days I crack, fight back, and he's like a scolded six year old. Because despite the front he's still a vulnerable kid trying to find his way in a frightening world.
On the drink and drugs front, one confrontation ended with him in an arm lock having his head banged against the bathroom mirror as I made a futile attempt to find out who the dealer was. A really good move as I realised he still has some affection for me in that he's stronger than me and could have reduced me to pulp. He also realised that my threats to sort the dealer were plausible and having a father in court for doing so wouldn't be good for his street cred or home life. It gave him the excuse he needed to distance himself from the druggies - I think, I hope. Anyhow some of his mates now give me a very wide berth.
On the suicidal tendencies front; a fine young man in my triathlon killed himself, he seemed fine - a likeable affable young man with everything going for him, I've never seen his parents since. My son is an emotional yo-yo, was I really like that at his age? In the middle of an recent shouting match with junior:
"I'm gonna kill myself"
"Well find a really tall building then because I don't want to push you around in a wheel chair... ."
It was the first thing that entered my head when I read your opening post so it's taken me two days to write a reply beyond "I'm so sorry to hear that and hope you pull through, both of you".
I hope my post helps rather than makes you feel worse. I've taken a risk, life's a risk. Have a look through Sadexpunk's posting history, he's one of the few on here that's candid about dealing with children as they become adult.
Jeez, just read this - best wishes to both of you.
I feel a git now. I yelled at my daughter (11) this morning because I promised her a lift to school as long as she went a bit early so i could get to work on time. And then dragged out getting ready so long that we actually left later than we'd normally leave ("but it's OK because you're driving me?")
And i won't see her tonight because I'm out straight after work. So not till tomorrow can i hug her and tell her I'm sorry for being a git.
I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for those that have serious issues to deal with; I just (selfishly) hope that mine spare me as much of that heartache as possible, and those that do have difficult kids find the strength, patience and compassion to deal with it too.
Thoughts with you all, especially OAP
Bloody hell. There aren't the words.
@Edukator - a lot of that sounds all too horribly familiar, thanks. I'm finding a lot of the replies on here really helpful, I hope others in my situation do as well; I think you need all the help you can get.
Hang in there oldnpastit, tough times ahead but it will get better.
Edukator, IME that's part of the rebellion process, breaking away from parental control. Some kids don't seem to understand they can just walk out of the door calmly and rationally - most of aren't us spoiling for a fight but some of them feel they need it. There is no doubt that kids who are feeling vulnerable need to stay away from drink and drugs but its a reality they (and we as adults) get drawn in at times. I am sure all of us as parents know kids who have made some bad choices, some get the chance to come back and take it others chose a different path. As parents we can just do our best but eventually kids have to accept that being a young adult means taking responsibility for themselves.
oldnpastit. I can't really add much to what's being said here, but I wanted to wish you, your lad and your family my best. It sounds like your boy is a fighter, so hang in there.
I'm afraid I can't offer anything but my condolences oldnpastit. I hope he pulls through, there are no lasting effects and he manages to turn his life around.
Any news on recovery progress?
I saw this when you first posted and didn't think there were any words I could offer that would be of any comfort. It seems that the situation is slowing improving and I truly hope that your lad makes it through this. All the best to you and yours.
Not really anything that could be described as progress.
He's got pneumonia in one lung, and as a result his oxygen has been turned up to 100%. They scraped some gunk out of it with a tube with a camera on the end: medicine seems to be a bizarre mixture of incredibly sophisticated and incredibly crude, and they then turned it down to about 97%. Pretty obviously it needs to be around 20% 🙁
His intra-cranial pressure was also spiking at 40 (I think the units are mmHg but I always find myself thinking of PSI) but that went back down after they turned the sedation back up again, although it's still not brilliant - they seem to want it in the fat bike tyre pressure range.
That's about it really. The local church have been rallying around so we're slightly snowed under with food and sympathy which is nice. And a friend took me and our oldest dog to the pub last night for a taste of normality, which tastes of rather nice cornish bitter and funky popadum crisps.
It's a long road ahead I think.
😐
Best of luck there.
Won't keep asking for updates, but thoughts with you chap. Look forward to hearing some good news down this long road, when you're ready of course. Probably around the same time you progress to some real crisps 😀
Can't imagine how you must be feeling, but glad your friends are rallying and that you managed to get to the pub and be 'normal' for a bit.
thoughts are with you
All the very best of luck.