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I won't go into the ins and outs of it but a boy 2 years older than him hit him round the head 10-15 times in an unprovoked attack. Other than trying to ward off blows my son didn't try and fight back (he thought he'd get in trouble if he did).
The incident was video'd by some of the attackers friends and has been seen by a member of staff but they gave the phone back (d'oh!) and it has now been deleted.
Anyway, schools disciplinary policy is likely to lead to exclusion of the other boy for a period of time, but not permanently.
School have suggested we contact the police 'if we want to' as they feel it was a serious assault and it wasn't '2 boys having a fight'.
He's home now and we'll take him to the Dr's later but he doesn't seem to be badly hurt - most of the punches that connected were to the side of this head.
My son's 13 if it makes any difference.
So, police or just deal with it through school?
Yes, because if the older lad doesn't get to understand consequences he'll be the kind of mindless **** who walks around on a saturday night doing this for fun.
Even better if school are supporting you taking it to the police, as some schools will see this as "just bullying", and discourage police involvement.
Sounds like waterloo road BBC1 wednesday night.
Dont kids fight anymore, involving the police will give the other kid a potentialy criminal record, and your son may well be bulied more.
Yes - no question. Assume school pushing ahead with its own procedures anyway?
Project - the other kid committed a criminal act - why shouldn't he get a record? Read the OP - it wasn't "just a fight".
Follow your school's advice
cb - yes - been very pro-active really, can't fault them so far, they have a police liason officer who they've involved as well.
Half term next week may put a brake on everything at their end though.
Son's slightly takign the 'keep my head down and let it blow over' approach but I'm not sure if that's cause he doesn't want to m'ake a fuss'.
as a teacher i say yes - police every time imo
The other lad might well be known to police already, so if this just adds to his list then so what? If it is the start of his criminal lifestyle, then it might deter him (hah, some hope I'd guess)
You could do what what my dad did, which was to get hold of the 'older' bully, and smack him a few times, it worked as from that day on I never had any more trouble.
However your school seems to have guide lines and a police liaison officer (do all schools have these nowadays?)so as above go with their advice.
As a teacher; First,the other boy will not get a police record as he is 15,clean slate at 16.If you feel it is serious enough,contact the police.The issue for me would be if it was an isolated incident,or the the worst of a number of times he has picked on your lad.If it is an on-going issue' scream long and loud about it.Write to the director of ed/head of guvs,they will bring down unwanted heat on senior management.Senior staff,despite what people would like to believe are very busy and do not have time to deal with an incident as fully as it might merit.Threats of taking it further usually help them to prioritise.
yes.
If it was two lads having a fight and your son came off worse then no, but this sounds like a proper unprovoked assault.
KINGTUT - my first reaction was to track the lad down and give him a good kicking. It does tend to send mixed messages about what's the 'right' thing to do, though, so we'll probably stick to official sanctions.
duckman - it's the first time but texts were sent subsequently to other people threatening that it wouldn't be the last. This more than anything is what's pushing me to seriously consider police action.
KINGTUT - my first reaction was to track the lad down and give him a good kicking. It does tend to send mixed messages about what's the 'right' thing to do, though, so we'll probably stick to official sanctions.
I completely agree.
find out a bit more about the kid from your son, if he is a proper scrote all you will do is boost his rep/ego
if he isn't then it might be worth it to go to the police
Back in the day, I was told by my parents to stand up for myself. Guve someone bigger then you a beating after they start on you and everyone leaves you alone after that.
I suggested this to someone who had a kid that was in my position, and was very surprised to be told you can't do that any more (Stand up for yourself) or you'll get in trouble/suspended! So I can see what the lad in this case is on about.
You can't let them get away with it though, not ever.
This sort of thing needs nipping in the bud before it gets out of hand. Are the bully's parents likely to be responsive to a grown up chat about whats going on?
go and have a word with the lad concerned but keep hold of your temper. Just make it clear what will happen to him if he thinks he can get away with this.
and talk to the police.
don't entertain any form of "apology" or such lefty nonsense, tell the lad that if the police & school don't punish him you will be. That should teach him an important enough lesson.
My step-son got bullied by a boy at school, so I told him the next time to hit him back as hard as he could in the face and if the teacher said anything to ring me. I got a call the next day from the Head Mistress and had to go to the school and explain my actions/theory. Saying that, the bully never came anywhere near my lad again 🙂
Go and speak to the local police beat manager first, he should outline the options to you and the possible outcomes. The beat manager might know the kid who attacked yours, and know a pattern of his behaviour.
I would not advise going to the kids house, it can effect your kids proceedings if you do want police involvement. The police can still 'have a word' with the attacker. This is done by means of 'Restorative Justice', its gets the 'harmer' to explain his actions to the 'harmed' and then agree to a action plan. This could be a visit to the police station,etc. A good beat manager will freak the living daylights out of the harmer so you should never hear of him again. This level of police involvement is the lowest possible. No criminal record,etc. Some people think its a way to gloss of the actual issue, it just depends on how well it is delivered.
The school needs to deal with this first and foremost. An attack that they describe as serious should fall under their safeguarding policy and procedures. Personally I'd avoid police involvement at this stage unless your lad is scared/injured.
Nothing worse for your lad than to be labelled a grass. Maybe take him to a self defence class or martial art training?
If you get nowhere with the school then go to the governors and mention ofsted...
this is exactly what I disagree with, its a system designed to make adults feel like they have resolved the situation in a modern and free thinking way. If the "harmer" is in anyway "hardened" or harbors feelings of resentment or distrust of authority he'll play along and then on walking out pledge to himself to do worse next time, these are adolescents not straight thinking community responsible young adults. Bring back corporal punishment. etc etcThis is done by means of 'Restorative Justice', its gets the 'harmer' to explain his actions to the 'harmed' and then agree to a action plan.
A classic example of caving in to bullies........
project - MemberSounds like waterloo road BBC1 wednesday night.
Dont kids fight anymore, involving the police will give the other kid a potentialy criminal record, and your son may well be bulied more.
Definitely involve the police! The school will be willing you to do that and the other "kid" isn't a kid! A 15 year old is on the cusp of being old enough to father a child, use a motor vehicle etc. He's pretty much an adult and so deserves a criminal record if he's assaulted a 13 year old for no reasone other to provide his mates with some video entertainment!! If further bullying occurs, then take the school to task.
These situations are never easy, but making a stand is appropriate. Limp dick responses from people like project is just what the bullies rely on.
Stand firm!
My 12 yo nephew was in this exact situation. Happened on school property after school day. Was taken to hospital for a check up etc etc. School weren't going to do anything, but under pressure from my brother, they finally excluded the bully. He was back after 4 days for 'good behaviour'! and back bullying. In the end my brother decided to keep his son off of school. Then he was the one in trouble for 'being truant'. My nephew was seriously traumatised, refused to go to school point blank. School then got Education Welfare Officers involved for the 'truancy' but still didn't get involved over the assualt 🙂 Initial enquiry to the police was "prob not worth pursuing unless you have witnesses etc". He now goes to another school.
Each incident needs to be looked at on its own merits. Agreed 'Restorative Justice' or RJ(?!)dosn't work with some kids. Those kids who are stealing cars and breaking into houses.
Speak to the local police beat manager who works closely with the school.
Don't expect the attacker to get locked up though...isn't it 3 burglaries before you do time. Its a joke.
another teacher here saying yes involve police especially if its not a one off
Tell the police, don't approach the lad Who hit your son yourself. The difficulty is it could make things harder fir your son if he is labelled a grass, the teacher who handed the phone back needs a ticking off aswell. If your son fights back he will end up in trouble.
What is the role of the police school liaison officer here? Can they not advise/decide on whether this is worth looking at from a criminal point of view.
Also, the deleted video(s) may well be recoverable.
And don't approach the other child (or family) yourself.
I have a simple question for you.
I'm 40, if a bloke I work with of 42 came up and hit me lots, the guys here videoed it and my boss suspended the guy for a few days do you think I'd call the police or not?
CALL THE POLICE AND PRESS CHARGES. FFS.
Yes. Go to the police. Secondly, get the name of the specimen who filmed said attack. Just because the video has been deleted doesn't mean that the police (or anyone with a bit of technical savvy) can't get the video back.
This cowardly attack was done for kicks and laughs, if it's not resolved the attacks get bigger. It's been proved so many times in the pathetic happy slap culture. School has changed so much. I hope your sons ok.
Oh and by the way that whole "don't be a grass" thing is such a load of cobblers, be a grass, school is a place for learning not being assulted.
At he very least they will think twice before picking on your boy again.
Wife off to school to get further details but boy has been excluded (not sure for how long).
My sister's a police inspector so I'll be having a chat with her about any experience she has in this area.
www
The fact your sister is a copper is a fairly salient fact eh?
Why are you asking us you nutter?
I think the fact that it was an older kid is a big issue for me - the mis-match of it would really wind me up. 15 vs 13 is a massive difference, not that it would have been ok of course if it was another 13 year old - but I would have been more likely to put that down to 'normal' playground fights.
That's what would push me toward the police route.
because I think my sister may be biased in favour of involving the police 😉
You don't say.... 😕
Out of interest do you think about kicking the s*it out of the kid yourself?
Obviously you wouldn't and doing so would make you worse than the kid - but I often think that if anyone hurt my daugher I would go ****ing ballistic.
If there's been one video on a phone, I'll bet there's plenty more phones with similar footage.
There's a difference, I think, between kids scrapping and criminal assault. If the police had been involved every time there was an "assault" at my school, it'd have been a permanent job for a small team of officers. OTOH, a 15yo giving a presumably much smaller 13yo sufficient beating to almost hospitalise him is an entirely different situation. Not that I'm saying that the former is acceptable or 'right,' just that you've got to be realistic about it. I think in the OP's case, I'd be taking advice from the school, and it sounds like the school want him to take it further.
As an aside, at school I was systematically bullied for about three years by a lad twice my size. I was only little, took the 'ward off blows, don't want to hurt anyone' approach. It only finally stopped when something inside me snapped one day and I leathered the f'cker.
if two 15 year old lads attacked me, i'd contact the police. it's the same thing.
Good point, well made.
... so they don't have to.I think in the OP's case, I'd be taking advice from the school, and it sounds like the school want him to take it further...
The phone video will be on a dozens of pupils phones. Your lad will know the usual suspects who will have all forwarded it to their mates.
I am surprised at an unprovoked attack tho. There is normally some sort of reason , does the attacker have a sibling in your lads year? It only takes a simple comment or put down in class to have a knock on effect.
Try to get a copy of the vid , presure someone before the plod get involved and they really all do get deleted.
Its an unfortunate part of school life , and unless your lad hits back in self defence then it will happen again. There is also the problem with the bully now being able to control your son and demand money or goods with the veiled threat of violence to back him up.
Waterloo road bullying / violence not as bad as my school was . I am also informed that this is unfortunatly true of many schools today.