Anyone else need it, and how much is normal? I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, as I'm aware everyone is different, but right now I've not had any real 'alone time' since the end of November and I feel like my insides are filled with Rockwool.
It's been a long time since I've read this, but I seem to remember enjoying it. A year in a hut on one of this tiny, cold and windy islets on the south Pacific coast of Chile.
Solitude: Seeking Wisdom in extremes by Robert Kull
I don't think I'd cope well not having some real space since November
I'm not coping well! 🤣
I'll have a look for that book.
It's one of the main reasons I usually ride on my own, for me it's an escape from everything
I need it and have it often. I walk for hours on my own, i ride for hours on my own. I turn my phone off and just spend time in my own mind. I do it whilst not under the influence of caffeine either which makes a massive difference. I also can drive for hours in silence (no radio) and i find that really peaceful.
When you spend time amongst people who don't have time for themselves they appear really stressful - it's quite apparent.
Solitude and space are very much needed and are a precious commodity in this 'always connected' culture we have found ourselves in.
Getting out on the bike is excellent - I've not been on the bike since early December as I held off cycle commuting for a couple of weeks and this week it's been too icy. I good long ride at a steady pace is beckoning. Even commuting gives me 50 minutes of peace.
It's a reason I love camping. Once the tent is up, and stuff out, time to chill.
Yeah, I need a lot of my own space, and I love riding, walking, travelling on my own. In my close relationships, with my partner and son and a few close friends, I can experience the same peace, but I do need to be in my own company a fair bit. I used to chat to a work colleague about this - he felt very similar and he put it down to being an only child, and spending a lot of time on his own as a kid. Same as me. I don't know if there's anything in that, but its plausible we are more conditioned to being socially and emotionally self reliant.
I'm a big fan of solitude, I like to recharge with "me time" and quiet. I married someone who needs to be busy and around noise. She knows when I need to get out/away.
Yep, one of my biking reasons, even in populated Oxfordshire if you get out on a non ‘known’ map path you can pretty much always get peace and quiet, get up to a view place or stop at one of your favourite trees, flask, sarnies, watch the world not going by, takes me back 60 years.
Hell yes!
The two months on the run up to Christmas were relentless. Not in a taxing or stressful way, just didn't get my time to myself.
Just had two weeks off. Got in a couple of bike rides and walks, read a book, did some "Airfix" and Lego... Complete mental re-set.
Yeah I need quite a bit of alone time.
I had always considered myself a bit of a loner, but during covid times when so much solitude was enforced, a situation I thought I would cope with quite easily, I was surprised how deep a depresion I went into.
I found the covid times really tough as well - there was no getting away from the constantly occupied house. This is currently feeling like a re-run of that, except with worse weather...
Everyone likes a bit of peace sometimes, the trick is to get the right amount. Christmas/end of year can be very hectic, especially for those with busy family and work situations.
Mid-Jan is usually quieter 🙂
All of the above. NEED solo me time, actively enjoy doing big relatively scary stuff on my tod - the combination of the peace and quiet of being on my own, with the focus of having to do it “right”.
Although it does occasionally bite you in the arse - I took an absolutely ludicrous slow speed tumble riding uphill yesterday afternoon and have ended up with a broken leg, needing MRT extraction, even though I was on the outskirts of a major city. Trying to arrange that on my own in a valley with negligible mobile reception was quite the challenge. Fortunately a couple of walkers came past and did everything they could to help, lovely people. And Mountain Rescue were having a brew in the pub at the top of the hill, so I wasn’t lying on the deck all that long.
Bit of a sobering experience which I need to think through more.
yes, i am a solo kind of a bloke. most of my rides are alone or with my wife.
i am quite happy with my own company..... but do like a social blow out every now and then. meet mates for a few beers,
dont really like to cycle with others. all reasons, too slow, too fast, too much faff.
- @JonEdwards hope you're in not too much discomfort and that the fracture heals quickly!
Hope you mend well and fast Joh.
Is solitude a choice or something that just happened?
@JonEdwards hope you make a good recovery. Most of my riding is solo and I like the time to straighten my head out. Thankfully my partner is similar so we give each other the time to do this (and with neurodivergent kids it’s very much appreciated by both of us). We’re very mindful of the potential for getting in to difficulties in the middle nowhere on our more epic adventures, so we always share routes and ETAs. I do like the occasional ride with others though - I guess there’s a balance to strike somewhere.
Ouch! Wishing you a speedy recovery, Jon!
@jonedwards Hope you heal up quickly dude!
I very much need solitude once a week or so. I find i get 'scratchy' if I dont. Usually fixed by a ride in the woods.
The only child theory sounds interesting, it would make a lot of sense for me . This Winter my normal riding partner has decided to hibernate claiming he's too old at 70 ( same age) to go out in the cold . I just crack on solo , he didn't get into riding until 10 years ago through me . Previous to that I'd ridden mostly solo since the late 90s so nothing new .
Though similar to @jonedwards I too had an off riding on my own on the Quantocks back in November, damn those sniper roots ! I was lucky to only break my helmet but I was down a combe where the chances of getting a phone signal are zero , I think about it a lot , how lucky I was especially considering I've got Osteoporosis and crushed vertebrae in my spine 🙄
Do I still carry on solo ? Of course I do ! 🙄
Do I still carry on solo ? Of course I do ! 🙄My dads second wife managed to alienate most of his mates during their marriage/relationship. So he lost all his riding buddies. They only did a couple of road rides a week but it was out. Now he's fully retired and on his third marriage, which is going well. Except his wife is absolutely adamant that he's not allowed to go out on any bike, at all. Not now he's nearly 80.
Most of this is because she's a terrible driver, has no idea of the rules of the road and regularly close passes cyclists, horses, dog walkers and VRUs in general. So the risk is essentially her...
So he'd _love_ to go out solo. But she took his bike to the tip about 5 years ago, took him months to notice.
@mert that sucks ! Luckily I have a very understanding wife , one example I took redundancy in 2009 , a year later I had a chance for a season in Whistler as a chalet maid ! 😁At the time I only had a part time cleaning job , she said I know how much it means to you so how I could I say you couldn't go ♥️
I'd been diagnosed with Osteoporosis just before as well, my GP signed off for insurance saying I would be riding carefully 👍best £25 I've spent
I’ve always been a solitary person and fiercely independent, was happiest when out on my own in the Galloway hills for days at a time, never seeing another soul. Brought up in wilds of Argyll along with forests/lochs etc so was perfectly happy and at ease with my own company.
Much prefer being single and whilst I’ve had GF’s they’ve never lasted more than 4yrs or so, only had one GF move into my wee bungalow but didnt last long - weirdly enough she’s always been my BF and still is. Never wanted to get married/never wanted kids, but I have always had a dog, but he died 7 years ago.
Now I have spms (diagnosed by surprise in 2018, last bike ride in 2020) I never get the chance to have genuine solitary moments/independence as without my mum/brother and BF daily/weekly help I’d be pretty much dead rather quickly. I sometimes make it out in the car and just go sit up a road in Galloway forest and surround myself with trees (I love trees, and being in forests) but I can only sit in the car as I couldn’t even make 1 step.
Ideally I’d love an electric quad bike but they cost a bloody fortune and I doubt I’d be allowed to ride it onbthe roads
I'm been living in enforced solitude for most of the last two months as Mrs Vlad is out the country.
It's gonna flip next week as I join her at her brother's (mad) house for a weeks "holiday" and I'm not sure how I'm gonna cope...
Be careful what you wish for!
The two months on the run up to Christmas were relentless. Not in a taxing or stressful way, just didn't get my time to myself.
Our two kids were always involved in shows and concerts in the run up to Christmas, I was involved in a big Scout fundraiser, I used to really hate the run up to Christmas, it was constant chaos.
I've stepped back from Scouts, youngest now at uni, this was the first year since forever where December was steady, relaxed and enjoyable
Most of my ‘me time’ is solitary, or if out for a run/up in the hills with my dog. I do enjoy the ‘flow’ of being out on your own, whether it is running, cycling or kayaking as it really helps me engage with the environment. I’m lucky enough to live in a place where you can literally lose yourself- I do wear a satellite tracker so if it goes seriously wrong, they can come and find me.
Yes, absolutely happy and need to do stuff on my own, and if I dont get time to do that it starts to tell.
As with others, Christmas is lovely but hard work, so I had a fab day last Saturday. I dropped my daughter into work at 6am and then drove straight to the station and got a train into London, at Waterloo just after 7am, walked through to Covent Garden to a coffee and pastry on Broadacre and then did a lovely walk around the inns of court, St Paul's, up to Clerkenwell and Spitalfields past the Wren churches, onto Brick Lane for another coffee and snack, just following my nose and going down any little alley I fancied, finding places that a family trip would never take in, including the graves of Blake, Defoe and Bunyan.
Poo Time is Me Time!