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So, the Wife has de...
 

[Closed] So, the Wife has destroyed the car again...

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it’s a privilege not a right and can be revoked by the state at any time.

Possibly it was at some point in the past, but now it seems pretty much a right hence the people driving around with 20+ points who just plead necessity and get to keep their license after each offence.

We have developed into a car dependant society where people live miles from work and miles from schools and lack of decent public transport options makes cars pretty much essential outside of London.

Just look at the backlash over the fuel tax riser which has been put on hold for years now as it's deemed politically unacceptable to penalise drivers.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 1:11 pm
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Possibly it was at some point in the past, but now it seems pretty much a right
this

imagine how much better life would be if the driving test was made significantly harder, retests, psychological elements, etc, plus enforcement/bans were actually deployed. There'd be half the number of cars on the road so no congestion, virtually no accidents, excellent public transport, infrastructure would be totally redesigned around people rather than vehicles, people might actually want to walk/cycle rather than drive.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 1:16 pm
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the people driving around with 20+ points who just plead necessity and get to keep their license after each offence

These people boil my piss. I quite like having a licence hence why I drive in a way that means it has no points on it. If you NEED it then drive more sensibly you dicksplash. A bit of hardship might make people realise what wazzocks they really are.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 1:17 pm
 core
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I think there are broadly two types of drivers:

1) Those who engage with driving, and whilst driving make it their priority. These people take an interest in cars, probably like driving, maintain their vehicles well, understand how they work, concentrate, and put effort into driving well, having good hazard perception and forethought. They probably also understand road law, the basic physics of driving and are generally aware.

2) Those for whom driving is a necessary activity. These people just need to get somewhere, are most worried about other people's perception of them/their car rather than how it actually functions, and are usually engaged in some other activity whilst on the road. That might be texting, talking on the phone, doing their make up, fiddling with the radio, chatting with passengers, whatever. These people are scary to travel with, but usually very sociable types, gesturing with their hands, cracking jokes, looking around, generally not being on the ball - fine in a pub.

I'd seriously recommend you get your wife some additional driver training. I did my trailer test a couple of years ago, just over 10 years since I passed my driving test and I have to say the training provided, and discussion with the examiner were really informative, and eye opening, it was a good refresher as much as anything, but laws and techniques change.

On a tangent, was talking to someone who works in the insurance industry the other day - they were telling me that people who had attended driving awareness courses (to avoid points/fine) were at one stage actually getting premium reductions if they declared the course, despite it being implicit that they had caused an offence to end up there.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:05 pm
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I think you missed Type 3
The ones who think they are Type 1 but have no regard for other road users, they might be concentrating on driving but doing it in dangerous ways - see habitual; speeders, tailgaters, red light gamblers etc.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:19 pm
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 the people driving around with 20+ points who just plead necessity and get to keep their license after each offence.

This isn't true, if you've got 20+ points it's because most would have been accumulated in more or less one hit. If you get 12 points or more and claim extreme hardship you get a 12mnth ban not the 6mnths for subsequent offences. It was made quite clear to me by my solicitor and the court that extreme hardship couldn't be claimed again untill all the points I had were spent.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:31 pm
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This isn’t true, if you’ve got 20+ points it’s because most would have been accumulated in more or less one hit.

From Guy Martins Wikipedia:

By late 2011 he had accrued 21 penalty points on his standard UK driving licence, having been caught speeding several times in his Transit van. He avoided a driving ban when on 18 points, being given another three in lieu of a ban, after the judge showed leniency due to the effect it would have on his livelihood, had he lost it.[


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:37 pm
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I think there are broadly two types of drivers:

Was your sample size 2, with one in each category?

Those for whom driving is a necessary activity. These people just need to get somewhere, are most worried about other people’s perception of them/their car rather than how it actually functions, and are usually engaged in some other activity whilst on the road.

For example, I'll think you'll find there are plenty of people that fit the above description, and couldn't care less about other people's perception.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:37 pm
 core
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It did cross my mind on Type 3, I agree.

For what it's worth I had an at fault accident about 18 months ago, writing off both vehicles (fortunately no injuries), and then got 6 points for using my phone a couple of months later, both events were totally out of character (no, really, I never used my phone before, and had actually already pulled over anyway when the unmarked car pulled up behind me). This was all just prior to my relationship of over a decade ending; my stress levels, lack of concentration, decision making ability and general mental state weren't great during that period of time and all contributed to both incidents as far as I'm concerned, my mind was just elsewhere. For me it really highlights that we ought not to be driving a lot of the time as our ability can be impaired for so many reasons, and the consequences can be so dire. All good on the driving front since, touch wood.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:38 pm
 Nico
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Those for whom driving is a necessary activity. These people just need to get somewhere, are most worried about other people’s perception of them/their car rather than how it actually functions

3. People who spout crap like the above.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:40 pm
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OP does your wife have any undiagnosed medical conditions that make her tired. Maybe a trip to the doctor could help. She may also have spacetual awareness problems.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 2:43 pm
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By late 2011 he had accrued 21 penalty points on his standard UK driving licence, having been caught speeding several times in his Transit van. He avoided a driving ban when on 18 points, 

The way it works (as explained to me) is once you commit an offence that gets you to 12 or more the matter has to be dealt with by the courts. In my case I committed the offence that would give me 12 points at the beginning of December. I didn't go to court until August of the following year and until then I could continue to drive. Any offences committed untill I went to court were held in abayance until then. So 12,15,18 ect could all be accumulating. But once dealt with and your allowed to drive with 18 or whatever points you couldn't go back to court and plead extreme hardship the second time, not until the points were spent.
If this does happen it's not how things were explained to me.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 3:20 pm
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it’s not how things were explained to me

this.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 3:21 pm
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It's explained here, including the not twice and points being spent.

https://www.mintonmorrill.co.uk/site/blog/criminal-law/driving-disqualifications-exceptional-hardship


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 3:43 pm
 core
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Nico

core
Those for whom driving is a necessary activity. These people just need to get somewhere, are most worried about other people’s perception of them/their car rather than how it actually functions

3. People who spout crap like the above.

*People who have had a different experience to you. I have had the misfortune to sit with several of these types of drivers. You haven't, fine, that doesn't make it crap.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 6:39 pm
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Readers, we bought a used Zafira this afternoon.

With the kids in the middle row, hopefully my offspring relatively safe.

Stay safe and beware a brunette beauty flooring it on the 217.

Alex


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 7:52 pm
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So you bottled having a proper chat about how she has crashed 5 cars?


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 8:00 pm
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The only way to stay safe is if your Mrs is off the road.


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 8:09 pm
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Only two cars to my knowledge - 4 if you include the other guys'.

No, we talked about it. That and her 9 points.

This 'take her diving licence off her / I wouldn't get in that car / medical condition / privilege not a right' chat is unrealistic and misses the point:

1. Where we live and how her work and our lifestyle is set up she just has to drive.

2. It's basically carelessness born of being a narcissist about her own ability and getting woken up 5 times a night by the kids.

Don't get me wrong, I'm cross. But it is what it is.

Any way, thanks for the thoughts Gents!


 
Posted : 09/04/2019 8:11 pm
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It’s basically carelessness born of being a narcissist about her own ability and getting woken up 5 times a night by the kids.

Well let’s hope the next accident she has isn’t a fatality and the above doesn’t end up being read out at an inquest or a trial...


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:51 am
 ctk
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Only 2 cars ah **** it thats fine

Maybe 3 strikes and your out?

& hopefully the kids start sleeping through soon or maybe you could get up a bit more.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:57 am
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1. Where we live and how her work and our lifestyle is set up she just has to drive.

2. It’s basically carelessness born of being a narcissist about her own ability and getting woken up 5 times a night by the kids.

Yep classic I'm more important than other people, nobody has to drive, nobody has to drive tired - you are both making conscious choices to do that, in a way it's a bit like the landlord who serves the drunk drivers, you know what is going to happen but you turn the blind eye.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:57 am
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Yeah, I got sympathy for the OP but this is not something to shrug off.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 1:04 am
 aP
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A217 Brighton Road?
That's fine. I'm never going to go near that.
I shall wait to read about her in the Daily Mail. Good luck.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 1:05 am
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1. Where we live and how her work and our lifestyle is set up she just has to drive.

Thats an excuse for criminal behaviour?

You really need to get real here. something has to change before she kills someone. Incredible levels of entitlement here and a shining example of why car driving should be much more tightly regulated


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:22 am
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OP you have made a choice.

Be prepared to suffer the consequences without grizzling and whining.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:24 am
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Nine points?

Sounds like the problem will resolve itself soon anyway. I don't envy her insurance premiums.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:28 am
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Where we live and how her work and our lifestyle is set up she just has to drive

So she'll continue to drive even after licence is taken away the next time she's caught committing an offence?

Or would she obey the law and you'd find you could adjust your lifestyle and her work a bit to avoid the need for her to regularly not be bothered enough avoid attempting to kill people with a car?


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:32 am
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So she’ll continue to drive even after licence is taken away the next time she’s caught committing an offence?

I foresee a deployment of the "extreme hardship" clause as was being discussed on the previous page...
Courts are always more lenient on women drivers anyway, especially if there's a couple of children in the equation. Add that to an "I need to drive" plea, it'll just be another one of those tragic stories of how the poor cyclist didn't stand a chance but the driver is still out on the roads in her Zafira...


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:46 am
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Sounds like she needs a moped.

Won't compromise her job or life style (unless she is a taxi driver)

But will make her think about driving defensively


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 8:53 am
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I think the OP might be Jeremy Clarkson


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 9:01 am
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*People who have had a different experience to you. I have had the misfortune to sit with several of these types of drivers. You haven’t, fine, that doesn’t make it crap.

Have to agree, nothing to do with different experiences, what you wrote showed a laughable lack of perspective. Sorry.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 10:42 am
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Hopefully she will acrue the 12points neccessary for a visit to the court in the near future.
This may be a wake up call to highlight the fact she isn't a good driver and needs some help in that area.
I am thinking she is away with fairies and the driving part takes a back seat , whilst play dates , dinner menu, shopping, socialising, parental issues, beeping mobile ( it is in th glovebox right? ) etc all rotate around the front front part of her cognitive functions and the driving side gets roatated to the back.
A217 is a busy road , in a busy area . More reason to fully concentrate on the job in hand.

She does need help though. either in being allowed more sleep, home help with a cleaner , and/or driving lessons , and by that I dont mean the ones designed to get you through the driving test , proper driving lessons . I got a mate who was a trained level 2 police pursuit driver to help me after a crash ( rammed from behind ) which was insightfull.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 10:44 am
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The OP does sound trollish but I will take it at face value.

I am not sure that anyone in Surrey does need to drive. Most schools would have a relatvely small catchment area which would make wlking to/from school practical.

Lots of options for home delivery of food, mobile hairdressers etc. so quite a few journeys could be rendered unnecessary.

One option for the OP would be to borrow his wifes car and speed through some traffic cams to get her a few more points and a ban.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 10:51 am
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whilst play dates , dinner menu, shopping, socialising, parental issues

Cos women do the cooking, cleaning and looking after kids, right?

Anyway - respect to the OP for remaining calm as the internet assasinate's his wife's character.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 11:07 am
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Anyway – respect to the OP for remaining calm as the internet assasinate’s his wife’s character.

Something or someone is going to die. Might as well be someone character, as opposed to just someone.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 11:10 am
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Never was the offence of driving without due care and attention more appropriate.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 11:49 am
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Get her on an advanced driving course, please.

And also please ask her to keep a special eye out for cyclists.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 11:59 am
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Something or someone is going to die. Might as well be someone character, as opposed to just someone.

I totally agree. She's a bad driver, accidents are not 'just one of those things' that happen, and people do die every day because of exactly this.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:07 pm
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Ahh , Yes Moly.
I am childless and single and grew up in the 70's hence my formative years were very old fashioned.
My mum looked after us whilst my dad worked or socialised with the 6 2 8 squadron after work,so was rarely seen
Still stand by what I have said though, but will include work, DIY , putting the correct bin out etc on that list.
and as a childless single I have to plan all the shopping , cleaning, ironing , play dates with Dezb etc but seem to be able to manage this without smashing up cars ona regular basis.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:21 pm
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Anyway – respect to the OP for remaining calm as the internet assasinate’s his wife’s character.

Is this the same OP who cheerfully called his missus a narcissist? He's joining in the fun with the rest of us.

As Cougar says, I expect the courts will start taking an interest soon if she's on nine points.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:29 pm
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I am not sure that anyone in Surrey does need to drive. Most schools would have a relatvely small catchment area which would make wlking to/from school practical.

That's almost as stupid as the OP's post! Everyone in Surrey can walk to school? Surrey is a pretty rural county and school catchments, particularly secondary, can be huge.

That doesn't excuse the OP's wife clearly being unable to drive in a safe manner, nor his totally lackadaisical approach to it. Fingers crossed that when it happens the only person she injures or kills is herself.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:43 pm
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as a childless single I have to plan all the shopping , cleaning, ironing , play dates with Dezb etc but seem to be able to manage this without smashing up cars ona regular basis.

It's a shitload easier when there aren't kids, trust me.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 12:46 pm
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This isn’t true, if you’ve got 20+ points it’s because most would have been accumulated in more or less one hit. If you get 12 points or more and claim extreme hardship you get a 12mnth ban not the 6mnths for subsequent offences. It was made quite clear to me by my solicitor and the court that extreme hardship couldn’t be claimed again untill all the points I had were spent.

The guy who's just been jailed for 9 years for killing a poor 21 year old girl clearly had a better brief than you. He was on 12 accrued points from mobile phone offences and was allowed to carry on driving due to severe hardship. He was apparently watching a film at the time. ****!


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 1:18 pm
 Nico
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So, to summarise, the good lady wife of the OP has had two accidents in three years.


 
Posted : 10/04/2019 1:30 pm
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