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I’d missed this thread, then clicked on it and couldn’t stop reading. To say it’s been a roller coaster is an understatement. It’s gone from me laughing my tits off to HOLY ****! To it being a bit dusty in here.
There’s not a lot a can say that hasn’t been said already, but fight on Poopscoop.
I'm only 8 months late matt, just saught out the thread to take a looksie of it was locked yet. I'm not sue I get notifications from the forum?
It's long overdue an update when I'm in the mood.
Today isn't that day though. However, today I did learn something new.
MRSA swabs aren't just done up the nose and groin, oh no, they are also done up the poop shoot!
I learnt this at precisely 9.57am today.😁
I can also say that this new knowledge (and sensation) is one of the more normal events that has taken place over the last few months.😉
Probably just thought you needed "cheering" up a bit !
scaredypants
Full Member
Probably just thought you needed “cheering” up a bit !
If the anal probe has been done on the 1st April I might have had even more concerns...
Could be worse.
You could be the nurse who 'samples' 17.3 times a day...
Truly a sh*tty job..
Lolz
@poopscoop apologies as i haven't read the whole thread but just wanted to add i hope you are getting/feeling better and you will be fully recovered soon good sir 🙂
Given the title of the thread I feel you should preface every post here Poopscoop with "I'm not still in hospital with Priapism" (unless you are again) just so people don't think it's kept you in there for months!
Hope things are going in the right direction (I won't say up, or down for that matter!)
MRSA swabs - does this mean your in having the op on your John Thomas ?
If so it must be one of the few (if not only) pre op discussions where the consultant doesn’t have to worry if the patient has been doing enough of their ‘exercises’ to prep them for surgery!
I hope you are doing ok OP
We're all still pulling for you Poopy.
Not like that though.
Did they swab you for covid as well? Hopefully with a separate swab
MRSA swabs aren’t just done up the nose and groin, oh no, they are also done up the poop shoot!
Were there 1 or 2 hands on your shoulders as they swabbed?
FB-ATB
Full MemberWere there 1 or 2 hands on your shoulders as they swabbed?
Thankfully (I think?) I did the swabbing.😁
Very quick update.
I'll be going full RoboCock this week. The operation is being streamed to other urology consultations around the world too.* Lovely.
I'm having the Titan® implant fitted. Here's their video of how it works, scroll down.
Not Work Safe!
https://www.coloplast.co.uk/titan-touch-en-gb.aspx
If has to be left pumped up at 60% for a while after the operation, a semi basically... So coming home on the train will be "interesting".
Keep an eye out for the Met arresting a man for having a Raging Boner on a Train. (Worst movie ever?)
On a more serious note, they aren't keen on me riding a bike after this implant but I've said that's really important to me and they have begrudgingly agreed I should be ok but I'll need a special saddle, no pressure on the perineum basically.
Horribly expensive but I'm going to try this saddle. Adjustable width and curve angle etc.
The Bisaddle:
https://bisaddle.com/products/combo-kit
Chemo seems to be going ok at moment btw.
*I'll be joining OnlyFans to cash in. Niche stuff but I'm sure there's a market.
Best of luck with the op Poopscoop. Loving your ability to laugh at it all!
Well done and hope all goes well.
You've had a hard time of it.
The operation is being streamed to other urology consultations around the world too.* Lovely.
Into just the consulting rooms or on the big screen in the waiting room too? Personally I'd rather read an old copy of Yorkshire Life. 🙂
Sounds like a happy ending is in sight.
Best of luck with the op Poopscoop.
Thanks guys.
I'm waiting for the inevitable, "ha, I work in urology, so you're the one having this done. Will set reminder to watch/record."😁
Good luck. Excellent video explanation, just the wrong music.
Also NSFW, it's 'extensively bleeped' but not particularly well - deliberately. It's the 'boingggggg' bit that needs adding to the Coloplast vid in particular.
If has to be left pumped up at 60% for a while after the operation, a semi basically… So coming home on the train will be “interesting”.
Good luck and don't stand too near to sliding train doors, lift doors, etc. If you must then be sure to turn your back. Best wishes 🙂
I’m having the Titan® implant fitted
Gotta love a nice solid and dominating brand name.
Best wishes for the op, OP.
/cannot quite believe I am typing this on a public forum to a stranger
I look forward to the comedic regaling of the operation and improvement in, err, function.
I’m waiting for the inevitable, “ha, I work in urology, so you’re the one having this done. Will set reminder to watch/record.”
Will your tube be on Youtube?
Either way, best wishes to both chaps.
Here’s their video of how it works, scroll down.
I love that becasue it's an American product they have to include a line in the disclaimer that essentially says "Have a conversation with your physician before deciding on this implant" As if you'd otherwise just wake up one day and think "Today's the day for Titan"
Hope it all goes well for you Poop 👍
All the best Poop. My Mrs is a physio specialising in Urogynaecology, if you're anywhere near Dewsbury you might just get to meet her. Just don't go showing off your Titan or she might want me to get one 😉
Best of luck, poop!
Titan.....hmmm. Isn't that the own-brand for Screwfix?
Screwfix. S****. Sounds apt.
Anyway. I looked on their website, but couldn't see it for sale. I drive past one on the way home, so might pop in & enquire.
All the best. I'm crossing, erm.....almost everything.
just wake up one day and think “Today’s the day for Titan”
What a bright future poopscoop has.
just wake up one day and think “Today’s the day for Titan”
Poopscoop + Titan = White Goodman / Dodgeball

Lots of luck with the op.
(And I've been doing my best to think up some kind of amusing double entrendre to add, but it's late in the day and too hard)
Hope all goes well, I can’t add to the amusement, however on the saddle front it’s worth having a look at ISM ones. I was in a slightly related predicament when preparing for Prostate removal 9 years back. Medical advice was to remove pressure on the perineum and after some research I got in touch with the folk at ISM who were really helpful.
I swopped to their saddles about a month before surgery, to allow a before and after comparison. It took a few rides to get used to the new setup - it is important to follow their setup guidelines carefully, and I have never looked back ! Surgery was successful and cancer free still, so far. I find the saddles really comfy and have road and MTB ones, on all 5 bikes.
a11y
Poopscoop + Titan = White Goodman / Dodgeball
Lol, thanks for that.👍😂
@iainc Thanks for the ISM suggestion, they are on my very short lost to check out too. 👍 What model/s do you use mate? I think I actually have an ISM saddle somewhere. I bought it for the turbo but never fitted it!
Edit: I Have an ISM PR2.0. Hmm... I'll definitely try it first as I have it already. I'll have a good read/ watch, of the setup guides.
TiRed
Full Member
Hope all goes well. There is always the option of a recumbent. Mine has three wheels for added smiles, and is available for trial.
I'd honestly consister one of those bad boys if it comes to it but I'm really hoping that riding a full suss and going for a REALLY perineum friendly saddle will allow me to continue riding my usual bike. Fingers crossed!
There is always the option of a recumbent.
You could probably do something similar with a bike too.