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I’ve got a pic of King Tut, you can’t see anything but I still feel it’s not prudent to post.
Now you're taking it too pharoah.
Braver than me. Having had a nut pulled out, bits cut off, then stitched back in, no chance anymore going on down there.
Are you still in hospital? How is King Tut? Was there a clash of the Titans in the ward? Do you have a schrader or presta valve? Your readers need to know!
Hope all is progressing well and not too sore. Get well ASAP.
Thanks for the kind wishes and the mickey taking guys!😁
He's unwrapped now. He's like a little sausage roll bless him.
Yeah, still in University College in London. I'm not saying which one.lol
Catheter out today but still a drain pipe into my stomach that makes walking around a Royal pain.
Having a bit of trouble emptying my bladder have to keep going to the toilet. I'm also WELL backed up so I've just been given a second dose of laxatives. I feel like a stuffed turkey at the moment.
Oh, the sack feels like it has a 5kg weight attached to it when I walk but that's pretty common apparently. Feels odd though.😃
Sounds like progress, if still a bit uncomfortable. Not in the same league but I had horrendous constipation after a recent knee op, due to the fentanyl and other painkillers they gave me. It took a couple of days but I felt like a new man once I was 'unburdened'. Hope the laxatives take effect soon!
^^ Yep, I think we might have lift off tonight. It'll be a weight off my mind for sure.lol
Same here... i had a 2 bouts of a full week of no turding as drug's and having to lie down...
Once i could finally get up and make it to the toilet and sit down....
Christ it was like a warzone....
Anyway glad to here your back together
Should be discharged tomorrow. That's great news. I'm walking like John Wayne but still...😁
Should be discharged tomorrow.
Steady on, maybe give it a couple of weeks before getting Tut into action.
We need to be clear about what's being discharged....
^^ No fun and games, even solo events, for 6 weeks.
Bike riding (not a euphemism) for similar time. Need to go saddle shopping on that one too.
I hope you aren't too sore and you can get to the loo. Toileting was not fun when I broke my spine. Couldn't pee for about three or four days due to trauma, then eventually managed after they threatened a catheter. Had to ask for the larger pee pots as once I went, I went and over a litre of pee came out. Liquid was like brown ale. Next issues were number two !
Good luck.
Did any metalwork get implanted? Will be fun at security scans!
Here’s to a speedy recovery!
IIRC you’re in Kent? If you do consider the recumbant route, my son has an Ice trike if you wanted to try one out. The cyclopark at Gravesend also have a couple of trikes to try.
Thanks for well wishes guys.
I'm officially not constipated anymore. The glycerine suppository worked like a charm within happy an hour.
Peeing is a little odd as I can't actually feel myself going, it's all numb still.
Yep FB-ATB, there is a bit of metal in the pipes, so they don't compress flat. Small coils of titanium basically. Pimp.😁
Of home tomorrow it would seem which is great, the staff here have been fantastic.
I’m officially not constipated anymore. The glycerine suppository worked like a charm within happy an hour.
So it was you
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/bowel-splitting-goliath-turd-uncovered-30082899
I can’t believe that that’s even a news worthy item!!!
Lol, no, I can't say that I can claim to have laid that continental sized log in a loo.😂
The glycerine suppository worked
Is anyone else slightly disappointed it wasn't Picolax? 😉
Good to hear you're slowly coming back together Poops, and fingers crossed everything will be working fine soon enough.
On way home. Its so nice to see trees and fields as I leave London. I'm definitely a country bumpkin.
Didn't know the drainage tube went all the way from the side of my stomach to part way down my sack. That was an interesting feeling having it pulled out!
Have a great day off, those that are lucky enough not to be working and thanks for the giggles. Appreciated.😁
Is anyone else slightly disappointed it wasn’t Picolax?
Surely some kind of ... Poopscoop would be more appropriate?
Do you have a schrader or presta valve? Your readers need to know!
Isn't a Reserve Fillmore needed for this special application?
That was an interesting feeling having it pulled out!
🤢
Fittest check up post op today and saw the surgeon that carried out the operation...
Found out some more details of how "challenging" the 4 hour procedure was.😐
Basically, to fit in one of the 2 pump up tubes, my penis had to be cut right along its length on one side and a length long section cut out of it to allow room for the tube to be fitted. Then it was sewn back up. The fibrosis on the other side wasn't as bad so didn't need this invasive a technique.
It sounds like he did this by peeling the skin back from my little chap from the head all the way back to near the scrotum to get at the meat underneath.
I'm well happy I was asleep during all of this.👍😁
Imagine the surgeon’s dinner time conversation.
“Fairly normal day, had to peel some chaps John Thomas, etc etc.
Oh, do we have to have bangers and mash again?”
hope the stiches were neat, I'm sort of picturing a frankencock now
I don't know whether to laugh or to cross my legs and grimace
hope the stiches were neat
Its now "Ribbed for her pleasure"
I don’t know whether to laugh or to cross my legs and grimace
definitely both here! All the best, poopscoop!
I feel there is a more appropriate thread you can update from here on in, oh titanium wünder piece owner...
https://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/wc-dh-tech-randoms/
Well that made difficult reading but thanks for the update poops...... it's good to hear that things are looking up ☝️👍
All credit to you for being so open about it, cant have been easy. All the best for the recovery, hope it goes smoothly from here on.
Well this is making the old "my vasectomy was awful" threads shrivel into insignificance 😳
shrivel into insignificance
I’d refrain from using that description! Read the room man!
(Sorry, going to be messy as typing this in a hurry whilst in the mood to do so.)
So, just over a year since everything kicked off so a bit of a catchup is due. There will inevitably be numerous double entendres both intentional and mistaken. Also i dont mean to offend anyone else going through their cancer journey or caring for someone that has it.
If you remember i was discharged from St Georges after 2 weeks or so and that was great as it meant my old mum wouldn't have to go into emergent care. My sister had bailed if you remember. Well... I was fine for 4 days after discharge then BOOM the initial chemo i was on led to the modt painful gout I've ever had. I've had gout in a big toe once or twice in the past... this time it was in both feet, in the big toes, the toe next to them and the ankle. I cannot describe how painful gout is. I used to think gout was lfunnyl until i had it!😁 It got so bad over 3 days that i had to p*ss into a little plastic pet carrier as i couldn't make it into the toilet from my bedroom. I called up my local hospital to cancel my very first haematology with them. A little later the consultant called back to say he was very concerned at me not attending and that the gout needed investigating. He hinted that he would call an ambulance if i didn't. So... I called up my son to bail me out. Again. He dropped everything and comes over to look after my old mum. I call an ambulance (couldn't walk to my lads car... I had to get down the stairs on my arse with my legs in the air to let him in... Its doable, trust me), a paramedic in training kneels on my toe whilst taking my blood pressure... "I screamed like a little girl" according to my son who was upstairs. I'm given morphine and it helps a little whilst i am sat down, but as soon as i tried to stand even the morphine didn't cut it. In the end i walk on hand and knees to the gurney in the hall and haul myself onto it, with my lower legs/ feet bent up into the air so they are off the ground. Wheeled into ambulance as curtains are twitching in the neighbours houses in our usually very quiet road.
After a while at the hospital in put up onto a ward with other cancer patients. Humbling. There are a few guys there I'll never forget but that's not for this forum. Some won't be around by now. I have to use a commode as i can't walk a single step without being in agony. Even the bed sheets touching my feet hurts like a pig. Outside, the heatwave continues, just a it did in St Georges and i wish to God I was on the SDW moaning about running out of water or a crash. On second day i tell the doc I'll *have* to leave by 31July ( 3 days from then i think) as my son was starting his new job in the police and i had to be home to look after my 94 yo mum. I'm jabbing loads of blood tests etc as they think I.might have an infection as well as the gout. Feet are now like balloons, swollen with fluid.
My local hospital is very different to St George's. Massively understaffed, ward ffittings falling to bits but the staff doing their absolute best. As always. Patients in the ward with only a few months to live and knowing it, guy next to me totally abandoned by his family, his phone flat and no charger, nurses doing the jobs 3x their number would struggle to keep up with. The 31st comes. They are still unsure about infection but they confirm chemo brought on the gout but either way, ive got to go home. Doc and nurses not happy but i tell them i have to discharge myself. Sign a hand written disclaimer on the back of a menu sheet. Given another lecture on how stupid i am being and I totally agree but there is no choice. I'm *not* going to potentially jeopardise my lads new career or put my old mum into some emergency care where she will totally lose the plot due to her dementia. Son picks me up with my mum's wheel chair and we head to his car.
Home. My lad and my partner have adapted my mum's room for me to sleep in on a blow up mattress, small tv installed in the room and cold food and bottles water all in the room along with my and mums meds. The plan is to live in there till i can walk again. I ordered builders knee pads whilst in hospital. For first 2 days i use them to walk around on my knees (feet up in the air) to go to toilet, give mum her meds and stuff. I live off tinned rice pudding straight from the can. I don't mind, I like it and I'm HOME Son and g/f come over with care packages.😁 On day 3 i can make it downstairs on mums stair lift. Feet still agony but i start getting mum down stars and some sort of "normality" returns. After a week or so my feet can tolerate a pair of slippers with a big scissor cut down each side. With a walking stick and these slippers i.l am able to get to corner shop... though I'm walking like I'm in in my 90's as feet still very painful and i just have zero energy. This goes on for weeks. The gout improves for a day or two here and there and then another wave hits. All toes affected in both feet as it's worst and going into the ankles too, that's new. Gout. Is. Not. Funny. After about 6 weeks i can fit my feet into a pair of wide fit trainers i order. I found out that the Allopurinol meds (to prevent the gout my chemo can cause...) I was given in St. Georges can also bring on gout in the first few months of taking them. So the gout was a combination of anti gout med and the chrmo... Such is life. Haydn starts training to become a cop, my partner (we don't live together) is the dictionary definition of patience and love. I owe her and my son anything. Welling up as i type this.lol Im still very angry at my sister.
Imatinib.
The wonder drug, my saviour. I have "novel" Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia. Novel? The Philadelphia chromosome is mutated but not in the usual way. I can't begin to tell you the intricacies. I do know that it could mutate again and that could be bad...but as it stands bloods are looking good, my skin isn't transparent, I dont look ill like I did energy is returning. I miss my bike rides.
Cocks and Concorde.
As mentioned in a pst update. "I am titaniuuummmm"... Well, part out me is. I have a third ball in my scrote that i press to pump the little guy up and lower down the "assembly" is a button you press to deflate. I'm taught how to do this by the obligatory "attractive nurse" up at UCLH in London. When I first manage to do it she says (in the manner of a mum congratulating a 5 year old on his drawing of a dog with crayons) "well done you, well done! I don't feel in the least patronised. I have done well, I *am* a good boy, I am very chuffed.😁 I have to pump it up one or twice a day, leaving it inflated for half an hour or so each time. Its actually pretty easy... Apart from when the bulb pings out of my grip and hits my nuts. That's not great.
I already knew there is the chance of the head of my cock drooping even with the implant. Its called lglans droop"... Also known as "Concorde cock"... You can probably guess why. Suffice to say it now looks like as well as pumping the little fella up I'll also have to rub a cream onto the helmet to get that to harden up. Spontaneity might be out of the window. Also, from the scare in my scrote right up the underside of my todger up to the tip... Its utterly numb. No sensation. That's not great but nothing to be done. Obviously some nerve damage there and it's unlikely to come back.
Now.
There s a lot I've forgotten, it's been a bit of a blur. Some other stuff is just too lengthy. Ive put on a lot of weight, id like to blame the chemo as it can do that but in reality it's pizza and chocolate. And pasties. And pies. Imatinib still doing its job, one type of blood cell count is a bit low but consultant isn't concerned and that's good enough for me.
I'm now trying to get Zwift set up again and build up my beloved Jeffsy ready for some late summer short rides. No SDW this year, or even Peddars Way... But next year? Perhaps. Got to take my biking shoes down to cobblers for him to try and knock some extra width into them. My feet are buggered now. Ive now got painful bunions but NO MORE GOUT! I can line with bunions.
Mums dementia is getting worse, it's accelerating and I know there are tough times ahead.
Not going to lie, I've been struggling for some time now to the point where the cancer is very much at the back of my mind these days. That's a luxury I am lucky to have as the treatment is going well. I'm aware it's not a luxury many cancer suffers have.
So that's it for now. Some things could be a lot better but I'm glad to be around still to worry about them a year later. Can't ask for much more.👍
Talk about rollercoasters!
I tip my hat to you for surviving with humour and compassion. Have a hug from me
If you remember i was discharged
🤭
Some other stuff is just too lengthy
🤭
Jesus Mr Scoop! You’ve been through the wringer and dealt with it better than most would. The candid and highly amusing way in which you’ve coped with all this is unbelievable. Massive love and hugs from the Funk family to you and your mum. Congratulations to your son too.
If there is anything I can do please drop me a message. I live in Macclesfield but can easily travel if you need anything 👍🏼
I love you, Poop.
That's not a lot of help, but I do nevertheless.
Not much to say mate but absolutely top effort. You're ****ing nails.
Hard as ****ing nails mate, and still thinking about others the whole time.
Certainly puts day to day frustrations like the oven breaking into perspective.
Cripes! Hope you get a break!
Wow! So impressed at what you’ve got through and the Frank, honest and amusing way you write about it. Keep at it, and try to look after yourself too, anything any of us can help with, ask, as you know we will…
Well you have certainly been through shit Poops, jeezus! But well done for keeping positive thoughts, yeah some late summer short rides soon, once you get your footwear sorted out, and SDW next year! 👍
I've just looked up stoicism, you have a mention in the definition. Have a big man hug and keep on keeping on.