Not today though. Exquisitely embarrassing agony.
Take away the pain but leave the swelling?
Ooh Matron!
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That must be embarrassing and hard to deal with !
I have to admit to having to Google that one!
Too much viagra, or just awesome?
Did you just walk in and say I have a massive erection ? Or was it an ambulance job?
If you need a hint of what to do about it, I can give you a tip off.
As it’s dinner time what’s on the hospital menu? Meat and 2 veg?
Had to google it too.
NHS advice for how to deal with lists going for a gentle walk.
That will be a Tory ministers excuse soon enough.
"I was just following NHS advice when caught on camera outside with a massive boner"
Been keeping count of how many doctors and nurses have had to come and have a long hard look at it?
This is no laughing matter. Imagine how hard it must be for him to be in this situation.
NHS advice for how to deal with lists going for a gentle walk.
I misread that first time around 😂
There is a cure, it involves a scalpel.
Don’t be embarrassed, stand proud.
Have you Google image searched for members of the Tory party? That’s the official antidote of viagra
Wood you believe it!
Will they not give you a stiff drink to match help?
Be brave, stiff upper lip too old boy.
This is not the thread for pictures…
Hope your partner isn’t taking it too hard.
Is there a point to this?
All joking aside, it must be unpleasant.
Someone give that man a hand…
I bet you feel a right cock.
Well, it's somewhere to hang your hat.
Hopefully only temporarily, of course.
What's the difference between light and hard?
You can get to sleep with a light on.
How does one get priapism? Asking for
the missus a friend.
Happy 4th July, hope you are flying a small flag
Anything invasive yet such as a little prick?
one treatment used to be metaraminol, injected into the "body" of the penis - just a little prick apparently
who OD's on viagra !
I used to get it quite regularly many years ago as a day release student .Walking with a folder could never reduce the swelling but kind of prevented onlookers
Other symptoms was the reddening of my face
Have they put a bed pan on the headboard in case you need a pee?
Dare I ask what the treatment is...?
Dare I ask what the treatment is…?
I googled, now feeling more sympathetic
who OD’s on viagra !
Better that than it getting stuck in your throat. You’d have a stiff neck for hours…
Not been hanging out in a bike shop in summerbridge have you, OP?
Sounds bad hope you get sorted out soon on the bright side you won’t roll out of bed for a while!
Got to go to St Luke's... Didn't work well enough.
I entered a hard on competition once but only got to the semis.
Sympathetic chuckle. But brave of you to share.
I was quite young and naive when a drunken work night out led to my manager at the time telling everyone he'd had to go to hospital suffering from this while on his honeymoon.
The cure sounds unpleasant.
How is the honourable member!!
Make the most of it, try some no hand pressups
Genuine advice time, don’t tell a national newspaper. This is a former colleagues cousin, it’s been reported globally, pretty much.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take up yachting, you'll stay in bed in the heaviest seas
PS, hope you get it sorted soon
(box of) popcorn anyone?
Maybe you could get one of those rubber rings they use if you break your coccyx, then you can lie on your front
The cure sounds unpleasant.
Surely his wife wasn’t that bad?
I think you'll be able to beat this single handedly
There is a cure, it involves a scalpel.
that will do the trick
Try not to be deflated. You'll soon be on the up. Or vice versa.
As James May would say, "Oh cock".
Hope you get it sorted. Be OK if you were on a romantic weekend. for a while... ooch.
Think of Boris sleeping with women (or anyone) - that will sort it without any 'intervention'.
🤥
Aah... my sympathies @poopscoop
I had a biking injury (groin met stem when pedal met tree stump) several years ago; Ninewells in Dundee use a citrus fruit scale to refer to the swelling of testicles - I was a grapefruit. In size but not colour; they were a dark purple, almost black. Off work for two weeks.
Take up yachting, you’ll stay in bed in the heaviest seas
Full mast?
Competition for thread of the week is now closed, nothing is going to stand up to this.
At least the OP will have a head-start in the ‘who can piss furthest up the bog wall’ championship!
I do offer my sympathies, while never having suffered said complaint.
Won't count if the water genie from round the twist is helping his competitor.
Anyway op good on you for standing up straight, maybe with a slight bend, and being open and honest about your hard travails
Buy some hoops to pass the time?
This is a former colleagues cousin, it’s been reported globally, pretty much.
17 hours
That's a weird report. They drained two pints of blood from his penis? Did they think it was a closed system?
At least you won’t roll out of bed
Typical internet hardman.
A quick Google of it and it looks like alcohol and masturbation aren’t recommended. No mention of coke or hookers mind. You’ll get your moneys worth tonight.
Top username for this thread...^^^^^^
No mention of coke
Apparently according to the NHS cocaine use is a known cause.
Buy some hoops to pass the time?
Coits Interruptus
Coits Interruptus
Bravo sir, bravo.
Turning tarps into tents
Hope you are ok, this can be incredibly serious. My wife is a urology nurse and has told me about this previously and how serious it can be.
If it happens to anyone else, get medical attention as soon as possible.
Hope you've not been up all night, and the advice above is upstanding.
Won’t count if the water genie from round the twist is helping his competitor.
thanks, I was like "where have i seen that before"
Has anyone heard from the OP or does he have his hands full.
OP - have you ever, ever felt like this?
Aware this isn't a joke and is serious but...
Hope OP isn't too stiff and sore today.
Had swollen nuts twice, both needing hospital visits and folk poking about, ah not too bad, wait till they are melon sized... a baked potatoe size is way too big me thinks. Post snip and post 'repair works' post snip. Never again.
Well, was going to do a a jokey update... but just been told I'm likely to have a form of leukemia.
They thick its a pretty treatable type, "AML" I think is the one.
Starting some chemo tablets today.
Not sure what to think at the moment.
They are taking some bone marrow and stuff tomorrow.
Oof, sorry to hear that. And I hope the treatment treats you well.
What a way to find out though. As you say, you’ll be dining out on this story for a while.
All the best Poopscoop. Sounds crap.
Wow. All the best dude, get well soon.
Best of luck Poopscoop, and perhaps beneficial they've identified that now, rather than having left it longer.
All the best Poopscoop - keep us updated.
All the best, that's pretty shitty news 🙁
Despite all the jokes, i hope that it is an easily treated one and you get sorted fast
Thinking of you Poopscoop. Hope it all goes as well as it can.
Oh shit. But back to the OP - one day you will laugh about this. **** cancer