I’m not a regular contributor to STW, but whenever a topic outside my experience comes up I know who to turn to…
My wife is a doctor. Her father was a doctor. Her grandfather was a doctor. As well as a love for the NHS she has inherited a real human skull. Yup, teeth and everything. He or she is currently ‘living’ on top of the fridge in a Sainsburys bag. It’s not how I would want to spend eternity so we are looking to dispose of the item in the most respectful way possible.
Given that it’s at least 100 years old and probably from some poor sod in the third world, repatriation isn’t likely feasible.
Any ideas? Medical and dental schools use plastic replicas these days. Looks like there is a (black) market for it but don’t want to profit from this or have them sit on someone’s shelf surrounded by votive candles. Can I take it to a crematorium or a church? Maybe the police? Really no idea.
Give it to a trick or treater next week
Call the local am-dram society and see if they've got Hamlet on their to-do list?
New patio was the West family's go-to solution.
My ex archaeologist (obviously she dug up more than a few remains) partner, said “it doesn’t matter how old the remains are, it needs to be treated as someone’s remains. Also surely a doctor would know.”
She didn’t elaborate much past it should be registered somewhere, so not especially helpful. Except the police would only be informed if it was obviously modern remains.
I had a similar problem with various human tissue samples in school. Local GP practitioner arranged for them to be incinerated at the local hospital. As above, this is/was a person and as such has to be treated with respect by all.
Yup go via your GP probably best , local hospital will have waste stream for human remains
Is it Yorick?
My ex archaeologist (obviously she dug up more than a few remains) partner, said “it doesn’t matter how old the remains are, it needs to be treated as someone’s remains.
What does your current archaeologist partner think?
Bury it somewhere and wait.
I was tempted to bury it in my ex’s front garden and tip off CSI Bristol. Problem solved.
Check over shoulder for litter wardens then down the drain in the street.
Yup go via your GP probably best
My wife is a GP. I just asked her if this was good advice. She almost choked on her wine and suggested, in quite forceful language, that it is not a good a good suggestion. She doesn't know what you should actually do, but definitely don't take it to your GP!
Should you check whether theres some sort of curse that will be enacted if the skull is ever removed from its rightful resting place (ie - in the carrier bag on top of the fridge)?
Take it to the local crem, see if they'll pop it in for you whilst they've got the oven on. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Gemini came up with this as the foremost option but as ever with AI I wouldn't necessarily take it as fact:
As you're in the UK, the best and most respectful options, under the guidance of the Human Tissue Act 2004 (HT Act), are:
- Contact an HTA-Licensed Establishment: Your most straightforward option is to contact a local medical school or a hospital mortuary (often via the Bereavement or Medical Examiner's office). They are licensed by the Human Tissue Authority (HTA) to handle and dispose of human remains respectfully, typically through cremation or incineration separate from other clinical waste. This is a common route for old anatomical specimens.
What does your current archaeologist partner think?
She said, this job isn’t like Time Watch, tarting about with little brushes, pays peanuts and she hated the times she’s put a Mattoc through human remains. Which then meant a tent and all work stops just like a crime scene.
Find the hedge where the local boys stash their research library and put it in there.
Before disposing stick a rear light on flash mode inside and leave it below a hedge on Halloween.
Looks like there is a (black) market for it but don’t want to profit from this
... erm, how did you discover this? Asking for a friend.
... she hated the times she’s put a Mattoc through human remains.
How Manitou times exactly? Toumani times to count?
He or she is currently ‘living’ on top of the fridge in a Sainsburys bag. It’s not how I would want to spend eternity so we are looking to dispose of the item in the most respectful way possible.
Might not be an issue if the bag is biodegradable.
He or she is currently ‘living’ on top of the fridge in a Sainsburys bag.
Was it a bag for life? Bit late if it was
Given that it’s at least 100 years old
So you say. The one I'm currently inhabiting is well over 50 years old and I hope it's a good while off being kept in.Lidl bag. Surely unless you have a bit of paper stating it's source there are not too many places you can waft up to with a human skull and ask them to get rid of it for you where they'll say - "yeah, no worries"? Getting away with murder would be a breeze otherwise - though granted if it's still a bit moist that might take a bit more explaining.
Hood ornament ?
I agree with Poopscoop. Contact your local medical school and seek their help.
My medical training dates from the time when all medical students were advised to obtain a skeleton for study and they were still available to purchase from respectable suppliers or from those ahead of you on the course. Thankfully, this has now became a thing of the past but medical schools and their schools of anatomy still hold collections for teaching and the skeleton in my possession went into a medical school collection many years ago.
Although whole body cadaveric dissection is no longer universal in all medical school programs, most do some dissection or demonstration and should have a way of disposing of your skull appropriately even if they are unable to add it to their educational collection.
I was going to suggest upcycling earlier but shied away from being first to reply. If you are happy to saw the top off, then you could upcycle as a flower pot, or for a kitchen cress plantation. These are just words I'm typing, they don't come as endorsed by me or anyone I know. In fact I feel somewhat disturbed by the idea I've just presented. Please don't do this.
Get some LED tea lights, pop a couple in the eye sockets and put it in the window for Halloween.
Then look up a Human Tissue Act licensed establishment.
Might as well let it have some fun in its life. Or Death…
pigs for sure
Can I suggest your local Police Coroner's Officer ? Especially if there are no medical schools nearby. If they are not the right person, I'd expect them to know who is
I've just been reading Prof Dame Sue Black's book and she talks about this in one part. There are a huge number of these kind of things about. I would second those above who said to contact your local university medical school, or for an easier route go directly to their anatomy department. Hopefully they will either be able to take it off your hands or advise accordingly.
Both her books are highly recommended btw.
Ash tray or food bowl?
Did you make a lamp with the skin?
Seems like an opportunity to have a cool custom bowling ball made.
There is a lot of odds and oddities shops in the UK (wet speciemens, taxidermy etc) who will happily take it off your hands. There is actually one I came across before who sells real human skulls with the certificates of authenticity etc. The only reason I know this is because of family member who's into every gothic and weird and wanted a taxidermy mouse fashioned into a bathtub for christmas one year.
I asked one if my colleagues from the mortuary and they said contact your local coroner's officer and they will inform you if the process which may be different depending on which area you live.
she has inherited a real human skull.
As have we all, I assume so anyway those of us who aren't bots, AI, brains in bottles etc... But the spare you want disposed of - "inherited" you say?
Bury in a child's sand pit
The advice to contact your local Coroner seems perfectly sensible. Even if they aren't directly interested they must know the process when some archaeological remains are uncovered. If you are in Scotland where we don't have Coroners, then I'd have thought approaching Prof Black at Dundee Uni (or someone in her department), where they teach forensic anthropology would at least get a signpost to the right direction. Medical school is a possible answer but there's probably only one or two people is each school of hundreds who would know. Your GP seems the worst possible advice; although perhaps you could make an artisitic political point by placing it outside the practice with a small sing saying "been trying to get an appointment since 1999"... however whilst Banksy gets away with stunts, you'd probably be prosecuted!
I'd sell it. I mean, dispose of respectfully if it's someone you know, but you don't if know who it is, or know anyone that does, the person who's bonce it was is dead, bit late for respectfulness when the rest of em has gone separate ways.
(I might know a buyer, if interested 😉 (not me))
We have a small graveyard at our chapel in Wales. You are welcome to bury it there if you don't have a better plan. Near Nant yr Arian
Wrap in a carpet and set fire to it= slow wick effect. I remember a detective telling me about this being the best way to dispose of a body at a party back in the day
Random thought..
Anyone else consider possibility OP, who isn't a regular poster, may in fact be a murdering psychopath, and we are all now accessories to his serial killing spree..
surely the best solution is to hide this in a wall some where for the next home owner?
I've no idea about any legalities around the disposing of human remains, but years ago my Wife and I were exploring a derelict church & graveyard in Bath that had been opened up as a wildlife garden. We found a couple of long bones (femurs I think) and the top of a skull (the sutures were pretty clear) placed on the top of a tomb.
We reported it to the local police & they actually took it quite seriously, assigning a scene of crime officer; apparently the remains would be reburied (they thought that the remains had most likely been dug up by badgers & played about with by local kids).
If you are able to simply donate it, I'd have thought that a local school with a biology course would be delighted to have it.
The only reason I know this is because of family member who's into every gothic and weird and wanted a taxidermy mouse fashioned into a bathtub for christmas one year.
How big was the ****ing mouse?
A 'guest' poster, no responses from either TJ or Edukator ... so which one is posting, which one is the skull? 😉
Could it be used to make soup?
A 'guest' poster, no responses from either TJ or Edukator ... so which one is posting, which one is the skull?
Here's hoping! 🤣
Speak to the local undertaker?
Take the teeth out, put them under your pillow and hope the tooth fairy doesn't realise they're not yours.
go via your GP probably best
My ex archaeologist (obviously she dug up more than a few remains) partner, said “it doesn’t matter how old the remains are, it needs to be treated as someone’s remains. Also surely a doctor would know.”
I'm surprised that an archaeologist, ex or not, didn't suggest that the fridge was a place of 'ritual', judging by the finds. It's their standard response to most things. 😆
We have a small graveyard at our chapel in Wales. You are welcome to bury it there if you don't have a better plan. Near Nant yr Arian
And the serial killer is now enabled!
My sister (medical student) acquired a skull (jaw held by fishing wire stuff)
I remember playing Cluedo and the skull was placed on the centre of the board with the answer envelope clenched between the teeth.
So there's that
Take it to your local co-op funeral place or similar.
Walk in, and when they ask you what they can help you with, just pull it out of a bag, slap it on the desk and ask 'can you get rid of this for me?'.
I pulled a similar trick without the theatrics of an actual skull when my brother died... I have a dark sense of humor so when they asked 'how can we help?'
I simply dead-pan said 'I need to dispose of a dead body, I've heard you can help with that'.
I was tempted to bury it in my ex’s front garden and tip off CSI Bristol.
That is only revenge if a landscaper charged her a fortune for setting the garden up. Otherwise you're just getting her a fine tilth to start a new garden.
Half bury it in a garden in Clacton
Honestly the things that people think are appropriate to take to a GP!
Lay it out on the street with a tin of special brew and a broken ringpull.
I was hoping this was going to give me a method of getting shut of the mother in law. Sadly not.
However ive always fancied a pet pig? does anyone have any hungry ones around the brighouse area?
The correct answer is to leave it where it is (maybe confine it to a box in the attic). Your wife is currently the only person with a genuine and legitimate reason to be in possession of the skull. Every other solution is simply creating a paperwork nightmare for somebody who really doesn't want more modern day red tape. Its' obviously not doing any harm.
Pass it on to your kids.
Honestly the things that people think are appropriate to take to a GP!
Absolutely. This patient needs more specialist treatment than a couple of ibuprofen
Honestly the things that people think are appropriate to take to a GP!
Was it you that I showed that 'rash', Dr Kramer? 😱
The Medical Defence Union advise donating it to a medical school, as do the Human Tissue Authority.
Helmet storage
That’s the one! Fashion a nice wooden stand for the skull, plonk helmet on top! It’s what I’d do. 💀
Hang on, let me check with the club committee...
I’d quite like it if my skull was used as a hat stand. After my natural death obviously…
Weirdly I was contemplating what to do with the skull on my desk that I think is probably real.
Paint it pumpkin colour and leave it on your doorstep
Weirdly I was contemplating what to do with the skull on my desk that I think is probably real.
Weirdly I'm contemplating why you have a probably real skull on your desk...
I’d quite like it if my skull was used as a hat stand. After my natural death obviously…
Or you could have your entire body plasticized and turned into a more useful hat and coat stand 😀
Like that weird anatomist guy Gunther von Hagens, who turns people into 'medical' sculptures.
Possible downside, though i dont know you well enough to say from your point of view it is a downside, but with your body preserved for all eternity, and pretty robust at that. You could in the eons to come end up as a sex toy 😬
You could in the eons to come end up as a sex toy
Just as I read that I’d just taken a mouthful of noodles! Really not something you’d want to snort back down your nose, especially chilli noodles… 😭