[Closed] So Blatter wants an alternative to penos. (Warning, may contain football chat)

Wasn't there a suggestion at one stage about taking a man off the pitch every few minutes...

A kick the ball through the hole shoot out like you see in summer parties and festivals.

Managers have to take one person off the pitch every 3 mins until someone scores.

Edit - drat. A minute too late...

Just replace it with something that we can beat the Germans at in a semi-final. Anything!

At the end of normal time, teams lose four players each, so it's seven aside through injury time. If scores are level after extra time, the teams lose another two players each. Five aside football on a full size pitch... there's gotta be goals!

Since my proposed solution ends with 10 totally knackered footballers trying to stay upright after 120 minutes of football, there's also great entertainment value to be had.

There. Sorted. 8)

How about the team captains have a drunken brawl in the centre circle, first one to steal the others girlfriend wins.

...chuck an extra ball onto the pitch every 3 mins. You can score with any ball.

Blindfold all the players...

Can't they think of some way to include guns in the game?

[url= http://gunsgunsgunsguns.ytmnd.com/ ]This guy might like it then[/url]

How about the team captains have a drunken brawl in the centre circle, first one to steal the others girlfriend wins.

Have you had a bung from Abramovich?

Take the goalies off and play 'golden goal'? For however long it takes.

What's wrong with penalties?

who can hit the crossbar with a kick from the half way line

murder ball

I like penalties.

However, I understand that if your heart is behind the men with three lions on their shirt, you probably don't like them. 🙂

only removing a player every few minutes makes sense but I suspect teams would get very defensive rather than attack.

Point verdict by the ref and linos?
bayern deserved it not Chelsea for example??

In extra time, each team should just remove a player every 10mins.

Royal rumble style wrestling?

Game of chess?

Keepyuppy comp?

It's never been a "tragedy" for Blatter when English teams lose on penalties.

How about which team can kick the ball most times at blatters face in 5 mins.

nearly MSP but do we really need the ball bit ?

i hate pens but i think they're the only way.

everything else just leads to defensive stalemate.

Not penalties, but the attacker has to start with a run from the half way line and can shoot from wherever they like. Goalie can do whatever they want (within the normal rules of the game). If the attacker loses the ball, that's there go done, if they score, lovely.

Basically it's a real one on one between the attacker and the goalie, and is therfore a better test of the skills of each

Not penalties, but the attacker has to start with a run from the half way line and can shoot from wherever they like. Goalie can do whatever they want (within the normal rules of the game). If the attacker loses the ball, that's there go done, if they score, lovely.

Like an ice hockey penalty then?

Much as the no goalies idea sounds good, it would be even more random than penalties, as defenders would crowd the box with the attacking team simply taking pot shots from distance, ending up with a lot of goals being scored from deflections etc, or more likely, hardly any goals beings scored at all.

One on one from the halfway line sounds best to me, although probably heavily weighted in favour of the keeper.

Ball at the top of the D.

Once the attacker has touched the ball the keeper is allowed off his line.

Attacker can take as many touches as he wants or just hit it.

(sod running all the way from the half way line, that will take ages and the keeper will just greet everyone near the edge of the box.)

Actually, something between what jfletch said and what I said 🙂

sod running all the way from the half way line, that will take ages and the keeper will just greet everyone near the edge of the box.

Where he will be chipped.

However, I understand that if your heart is behind the men with three lions on their shirt, you probably don't like them.

No need these days. I take it you saw the last world cup?

chuck an extra ball onto the pitch every 3 mins

This would be excellent.

However the ice hockey style one is probably the best idea.

After full time, I think that they should continue to play until someone scores. if that's 10 minutes or 10 hours. Survival of the fittest.

[url= http://www.metacafe.com/watch/940665/binocular_football/ ]http://www.metacafe.com/watch/940665/binocular_football/[/url]

Give everyone binoculars

That would be boring as hell for the spectators.

After full time, I think that they should continue to play until someone scores. if that's 10 minutes or 10 hours. Survival of the fittest.

i hate pens but i think they're the only way.

everything else just leads to defensive stalemate.

I vote for fighting.

I vote for scrapping extra time. Nothing ever happens in it anyway. Straight to pens... and let the opposition choose who takes the pens!

I've studied this at length (in the pub, but with knowledgable other players, referees, etc.)

1 v 1's from the halfway line (or anywhere else) are massively stacked to the attacker, even more than penalties. Very rarely does a player in open play miss a genuine clear through on goal chance, and if they do it's almost always because they are pressured / hurried into their shot by defenders chasing back. If this was introduced it would need to be against a time clock. And besides; it's not really that different to the 'tragedy' of penalties where eventually it comes down to the failings of one man.

The best solution would be an open ended golden goal period. You don't need to artificially disrupt it then by taking players off. If a side goes all defensive without the safety net that if they hang on long enough they get penalties anyway, you can't just let the opposition have the ball because eventually they will score. The issue is that the TV people, the police, the transport companies, etc. all want to know when the game will end, and you could in theory have games going on for hours. However - US baseball manages to deal with that. I'd like to see that given a chance. It remains a team game but where both teams have to try to get a goal as the ONLY way to win the game, I don't think many games would last even as long as the current 30 mins extra time does.

[@ M_F; yes it was {deathly dull} but only because you still had the draw as an option. When that goes, you have to try to score because if you don't, eventually the other side will]

i hate pens but i think they're the only way.

everything else just leads to defensive stalemate.

But surely if they look at the Opta-style stats then no-one would dare be too defensive for fear of losing on 'points' - there would surely be MORE attacking play?

I don't think the Opta option is fair though, it only really favours the 'better' side, thus doesn't take into account the circumstances of the final itself. Example - 1st div team gets to a final, acknowledges it will be outplayed and sets itself up to play on the counter-attack, its only real option. After full time its 0-0 and they lose on shots on target, possession etc. Surely the 'better' team should have beat them in normal time if they were good enough.

Platini appears to desperately want to satisfy the beautiful football must win brigade. If that was true 99% of teams should pack up now.

Penalties seem pretty fair to me.

I really like the idea of a second ball 🙂

I'm not keen on the OPTA stats thing either...

If Ireland v Romania 1990 had been decided like that, we'd have been ****ed.

As tm says, it's the only way really. Even if you are an England fan. 😛

Give it to the team that won the most corners conceded by the keeper. It's simple, encourages attacking rather than just possession, and it's difficult to deliberately play for corners off the keeper so won't change the game much. It doesn't necessarily reward just 'beautiful' play too as you can play like Stoke and still make the opposition keeper concede corners

i think schmeichel once covered the most ground by simply running up and down his goal area when man u were attacking to have been the runniest player

The most handsome team should win.

The running from half way bit was done by the Americans in a previous incarnation of their 'league'. I would favour normal extra time then golden goal with 3 players being removed (leaving 7 if you started with Joey Barton) if its still all-square.

Points decision like boxing. Ref decides. Would end the swearing at the ref as well (mostly).

If the teams can't decide it in that time, its time to hand over to the fans.

The team captain gets to wander around the stands and pick 11 of their opponents fans to complete another 30 minutes. This could go one of two ways

1. Those blokes with their tops off at Newcastle games. First picked! Result: comedy weeble football, with the ever-present danger of some Muamba style shenanigans at any moment. Though probably with less favourable outcomes

[img] [/img]

2. The polar opposite. We go for looks. The team captain picks the most photogenically beautiful/scantily clad/well endowed females. These won't be hard to find. The cameramen normally find them within 30 seconds of kick off. One proviso. They have to play in whatever footwear they turned up in

[img] [/img]

I don't think the Opta option is fair though, it only really favours the 'better' side, thus doesn't take into account the circumstances of the final itself. Example - 1st div team gets to a final, acknowledges it will be outplayed and sets itself up to play on the counter-attack, its only real option. After full time its 0-0 and they lose on shots on target, possession etc. Surely the 'better' team should have beat them in normal time if they were good enough.

How about the team with the least tabloid column inches in the previous month wins? Double points for being caught having 'relations' with gopping old prostitutes.

Something involving a tiger?

The big cat should be hungry and on an 17yard chain from the goal line. Keeper in chainmail. Back four to play with their shorts round their knees and their buttocks painted in antelope blood?
Golden goal. Must be scored within the 18yd box.

Only for extra time, obviously.

For Blatter : Anytime you draw with an English team the opponent wins

For Real : Whats wrong with a competition being drawn?

BRITISH BULLDOGS !

Thats if anyones old enough to remember it !

Each manager get a blowpipe with 10 tranquilizer darts. At the end of full time each manager can use the darts on the opponents at the rate of 1 per 5 mins. That way you add additional skill and tactical nous.

Each team gets in a crcle and plays headers, first to drop the ball loses.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy 'vogon poetry' endurance challenge between 2 captains, except with Cantona reading his stuff instead of the vogon. (I LOVE Cantona btw 😀 )

Golden goal but with gradually telescoping/expanding goal mouths: by 10 minutes the goal is twice as big/wide and you can have a realistic crack at it from the centre circle 😆 There would also have to be some comedy musical accompaniment to expansion of the goal mouths, like in the ice hockey.

Wet a strip of grass at the centre circle, 2 players take a run-up and have a 'longest skid on knees' contest.

Or do it the FIFA way. Each manager (allegedly) provides an unmarked brown envelope to the Governing Body: The one with the 'nicest' content wins!

Just introduce a rule that gives each team five subs. If any player is so injured that they can't get up after a 30seconds boxing style count then they're off. The only exception to this is if the offending player is booked or sent off.

Diving is a instant red and a penalty to the other side.

If it would be a free kick outside the box, then give a penalty for the equivalent inside the box

I'd bet very few games would be a draw.

I like something along the lines of the ice hockey idea. Thing is though that hockey goalies save an awful lot more of the shots on goal than I think a football goalie manages. With the North American love of statistics I can tell you that a hockey goalie will have a save % of something close to 90% or better for open play. In the one-on-one situation a player is doing well to score 40% of the time.

I think two suggestions already made are better though:
No goalie or taken men off the pitch.

Understand though the pressure to have match finish by x to allow for planning purposes. Again in the NHL Play-offs it is sudden death overtime for as long as it lasts which makes for some long games sometimes.

Footballers love to roll around on the ground like the have been shot by a sniper if a member of the opposite team should look at them in a funny way. So why not have a real sniper shoot random players at 5 minute intervals during extra time until such time as a goal is scored. 😈

Right, being creative are we? Ok so you put two men in goal, and the opposition get an unlimited supply of balls and get 20 seconds to score as many as they can, with all the players shooting continuously. Most balls in the net wins of course.

Actually. This is the answer.

I don't really see what's wrong with penalties. Life, in itself, isn't fair so it teaches the world a lesson when they happen. Thank you.