MegaSack DRAW - This year's winner is user - rgwb
We will be in touch
... can only learn about humans via this forum (let's call it a glitch in their tech, they are with Talk Talk or such..) and can only try to make contact with us via this forum.
What would it think of our species based upon our posts?
What would it choose as it's username?
And... What would its first question/post be about?
The B word is banned in this thread as it'll just get closed and rightly so. !😁
What would it choose as it’s username?
must.....resist.....
Go on, you know you want to perchy! 😆
What would it think of our species based upon our posts?
We're all so far up our own arseholes that it's anal probing technology would be rendered futile?
strange choice of username there perchy
AFriendinSpace
"Why are you people trashing your planet?"
Go on, you know you want to perchy
No I don't. It wouldn't be fair on chewkw.
The B word is banned in this thread as it’ll just get closed and rightly so. !
We can’t talk about bikes now?
If they're intelligent, what makes you think they'll bother with this planet?
Well they wouldn't even bother after reading about 10 posts. They'd just go...
'Pwaahh Haa Haa Haa Haa Haa.......' for ages.
And… What would its first question/post be about?
All your bike are belong to us
What would it think of our species based upon our posts?
Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
We’re all so far up our own arseholes that it’s anal probing technology would be rendered futile?
😆
Are they using an iPad or Android❓
'jivehoneyjive'
What tyres for.... Earth?
Brant Brant Brant, any deals on stuff under £5 I neeeeeed for my spaceship?
Did I buy the wrong sized spaceship *paging Hora*
"we have come to raid your planet of its richest and most useful resources....clearly those you hold in highest regard as denoted by the number of people talking about will hold the most value.....
....hand over all your Piccolax, Sudocreme, Audi's and the one you call 'tjagain' or we will be forced to destroy your 'Brexit'
When it asks to be “taken to our leader” it gets to meet Bojo. 😱
What model eT5 for long distance camper conversion?
Oh! Shit!
I hope they don’t read my posts, I know I come across as a right tosser and I wouldn’t want the alien race to think “we’re” all like that 🤷♂️🤪🤪
I'm more interested in whether we'd realise it was an alien intelligence.
"This spacecraft? Why yes....yes it is..."
philjunior
Member
I’m more interested in whether we’d realise it was an alien intelligence.
Good point!
Can you imagine?! It could have spent eons searching for a fellow sentience race.... It says hi and explains what it is. In unison everyone cries BS and the poor bloody thing calls it a day and sods off!
Best way to administer Picolax for anal probing....
My Human is covered in Sudocrem, how best to remove?
perchypanther
Member
“This spacecraft? Why yes….yes it is…”
My lawyer is going to be working through the night at this rate.
See you in court.
I'll be represented by Zippy Iphone 5s QC.
That we care intensely and frequently about their privacy
They'd immediately conclude that we're too primitive to bother with based on the observation that only way we're able to keep warm is by burning wood.
They would be looking for buried 26" bikes though.
can only learn about humans via this forum (let’s call it a glitch in their tech, they are with Talk Talk or such..) and can only try to make contact with us via this forum
so they've stolen drac's ipad?
Would he/she be the first ever user to click on the STW Spotify links?
AFriendinSpace
“Why are you people trashing your planet?”
I think there's a reasonable set of arguments to suggest that the aliens would also have trashed their own for the exact same reasons, and they would also probably have their own versions of STW so would probably understand it very well.
they would also probably have their own versions of STW
Had. Until the B Ark was launched.
They'd nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
I’ve thought about similar things, if looking from outer space, as well as the most stunning planet (we are yet to identify in the universe), you’d see the impact we’ve made: cities and lights, quarries, mines, forest clearance, pollution pick up TV signals and Radio waves, one might think the most important drink is Coke and Trump is a great leader, democracy is shouting at each other, and that democracy is disorganised, the most important car is is a Toyota Corolla, adverts are more important than discussion, mindless ‘entertainment’ more important than education. Many are struggling, starving and or in poverty and hardly touch the world and it’s resources whilst others use huge amounts on ‘pointless’ activities and hours each day discussing/debating the pros and cons of these activists. Oh so much more, considering we each live in our own little worlds, with little appreciation or understanding of others, I very much doubt we’d be remotely close to an alien understanding.
Think Douglas Adams possibly captured this best in the first few minutes of the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Though STW adds weight to the greatest ever invention The Bicycle!
Back to communication via this forum, well they’d be confused, sus-no sus, single speed, 7, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, or 13 speed. To oil or wax a chain, that is the question?
one might think the most important drink is Coke and Trump is a great leader, democracy is shouting at each other, and that democracy is disorganised, the most important car is is a Toyota Corolla, adverts are more important than discussion, mindless ‘entertainment’ more important than education
Aliens would have to be intelligent to be sitting in orbit around us, so they'd probably realise that the media output needs interpreting.
Interesting that everyone assumes aliens will be emotionless calculating machines from a strict highly organised monoculture. Why we assume this is an interesting question and has its roots in specifically Western history I think. This would make a good paper for an English student 🙂
Good response but I think we’d have no clue what they’d do, how they’d interact, doubt we’d comprehend a thing unless they wanted us to. Alternatively it could be another group of humanoids quite a few years ahead of us but they need a way of traveling that’s currently beyond our comprehension.
well they’d be confused, sus-no sus, single speed, 7, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, or 13 speed. To oil or wax a chain
I think they’d find it puzzling enough that we’re made of meat
but they need a way of traveling that’s currently beyond our comprehension.
31 inch wheels?
Interesting that everyone assumes aliens will be emotionless calculating machines from a strict highly organised monoculture.
Plenty of Sci-Fi assumes the opposite - like most of Star Trek for instance.
Based on this forum I think any intelligent aliens would know to never open a bike shop
Can it be Natasha Henstridge in species asking who wants to go for a ride? As a teenager I really hoped that's how aliens would appear.
Plenty of Sci-Fi assumes the opposite – like most of Star Trek for instance.
Look at original Trek. The only aliens are an emotionless being and a warrior race who aspire to a glorious death in battle. Hmm....
I am hoping that when the aliens arrive they will take me home to alpha centauri.
Star trek is very poor SF - its basically Wagon train in space.
Want to read about aliens who think differently to Humans - try Nivens known space - the puppeteers are herbivore herd creatures and the Kintzi are carnivores - they act and think very differently
Or Iain M Banks: the dwellers are aliens who think very differently - callously indifferent to suffering of others and great players of practical jokes
Star Trek is bobbins. All the aliens are just humans with either some form of pastry attached to a body part, shiny skin or basically elves. The lack of imagination is staggering.
Any way back to the OP. Aliens would learn that humans love talking about bikes, aren’t actually that keen on riding them and will argue about anything.
First question would be what tyres for riding Saturn’s rings?
Star trek is very poor SF – its basically Wagon train in space.
I don't think series 1 is poor. It's classic 60s scifi with its psychadelic overtones. Obviously the imagery is pure USA + cold war, but that's 60s America for you.
But look how many times the warrior race who glorify death in battle comes up. All the sodding time.
All the aliens are just humans with either some form of pastry attached to a body part, shiny skin or basically elves.
Physical appearance is obviously limited by practicalities.
I am hoping that when the aliens arrive they will take me home to alpha centauri.
Me too.
Physical appearance is obviously limited by practicalities.
Newer Treks are the same though. Got to be down to lack of imagination as decent effects are in most TV now. I’ll admit I’m biased here as I don’t like Star Trek. Soap opera set in space with pastry faced aliens
It'll be Machines or Insect analogues.....
either that or the ECO-extremists like the SunDiver/Uplift War universe.
They would think that 'slack' was a good thing.
It wasn't when I was growing up. Well not if you were a girl anyway.
If it was a real Extra Terrestrial I would offer to take him out for a ride. I would even fit a basket to the front of my bike for him to travel in. Perhaps then I would finally be able to do some proper bunny hops and jumps.
Would they have to take a poll first to see how many spaceships they have.
Don't worry about it, trumps spaceforce will take them out before they get anywhere near earth.