[Closed] Shouted at by walker - what whitty response should I have come up with?

Much as I like the witty responses, there's no point getting into an argument, it just reinforces the stereotype that they have in their minds.

Be polite, ride off. Don't dwell on it.

"Still bitterly disappointed despite the dog, eh?"

'You do know this is a footpath'
'Really ok?'
'You are breaking the law'
'I'm hardly hurting anybody'

So, what's the problem exactly?
You were riding where you shouldn't, and couldn't care less.

No wonder so many people resent bikers...

Being a regular Lordswood rider, I know that there's some really miserable dog walkers there (and some nice ones).

I always slow to a crawl, aknowledge them politely, thank them (not sure what for, but it's the British thing to do), maybe stop and pet the dog briefly to show I'm friendly... Most walkers seem to appreciate this but some still seem to believe the woods belong to them.

Lordswood's Horseman's trail as the OP stated is not actually all official footpath (depending which bit you met her on).
The run down the side of the golf course (popular with dog walkers) isn't an official footpath at all and the land within the main part of Lordswood itself is all just "public access land"...

We should all be polite, courteous and considerate to each other and then just accept that some people are just miserable buggers, whatever you do...

I often ride along a footpath along the river to get to the trails in the woods.. I've been berated, shouted at, stepped in front of and threatened.. Ok, so it's private land with granted access (AoONB) and it's popular too, but in all the time I've been on there most, not all mind, just say Hi and get out of the way.. The landowner on the otherhand is a twonk.. But the local council has rights of access dating back to when God was a lad and he can't do ow't about it. He once had a go at a parent with a 3yr old riding his on a trike.. We know where he lives and on occasion we gather up all the dog sh*te left in plastic bags and chuck it over his fence.. we do feel guilty, for about .5 seconds.

'You do know this is a footpath'

'Yes. Do you know I'm a pyschopath?'

some of the attitudes on here do us... no favours

I'd like to think that a lot of the bluster is what my gran would've called "all mouth and no trousers." It's cathartic to come here and go "yeah, well, I'd have taken a crap on her shoes and asked her how she liked it" but that doesn't mean we'd (all) actually [i]do [/i]that.

I'd like to think that I'd have responded to the 'environmental menace' accusation with something like "I'll bear that in mind when I'm scrubbing dogshit off the back of my shirt later tonight," but the truth of it is I'd probably have said something devilishly witty like "erm... eh?"

In terms of witty retorts, the problem with people like this is that they're convinced that they're in the right. Anything vaguely argumentative just reinforces the "menace" picture that they've built up in their head. The only way we'll ever win is by everyone being spectacularly nice to her, or throwing her in the canal.

In terms of witty retorts, the problem with people like this is that they're convinced that they're in the right.

But they are right. Cyclists are breaking the law and they're pointing it out.

tell them that you're an undercover police officer conducting surveillance on a group of fellas who have been spotted in the woods burying a horde of muslamic rayguns..

But they are right. Cyclists are breaking the law and they're pointing it out.

Which law? Oh civil law, the one that EVERYBODY ignores because its never really enforced.

[i]sits back, lights touchpaper and awaits the flames...[/i]

'I am the rights of way officer and cycling is permitted here'

In my defense I didn't know anything about footpaths. I knew that I wasn't *supposed* to ride on pavements, but until recently I didn't know it was actually illegal. As for trails through the woods, I thought you could go anywhere.

Which was half the problem, we started laughing at this bloke, who was trying to be all serious, called us disrespectful young women, or some such nonsense, then Sara went a bit OTT. I had to drag her away. LOL

[i]Much as I like the witty responses, there's no point getting into an argument, it just reinforces the stereotype that they have in their minds.

Be polite, ride off. Don't dwell on it.[/i]

Crazy-legs has it spot on imo

If i get caught on a footpath, I remain polite and, worse case, just claim I'm lost...just not worth arguing as nobody wins

I had a good smile and wave the other day in the car.

I was passing a row of cars on the left handside and woman arrives at the other end and starts waving both arms and bashing the windscreen etc.

I just waved back 🙂 Looked in the mirror as the road is quite long and she was still there in some sort of daze, and to make matters worse for her a learner drive passed through :-)))))))))

SMILE AND WAVE,, ****s them right up.

it's all a load of cak, when god made the universe (i don't believe in god) the he she or what didn't make rules up about who and on what form of transport could enjoy this great earth. i've been riding 20 years, ride where i like when i like, but not blatantly, and use some judgement, respect and tact, i am polite to all people i meet. I often pass walkers on footpaths and always smile and remark on what a lovely day it is. Only had 1 incident that ever really bothered me in all that time. How many people on here really obey all bylaws, what a load of pap, after shes moaned about the tiny amount of land erosion you've made they will put a 15 lane motorway and housing estate on it..... be free, ride your bike and educate those less fortunate,less spiritual and more closed minded than yourself...

Interesting, been trying to google what the actual ROW at LW are. I came across this year old thread on STW where someone else describes being referred to as an environmental vandal! It would appear shes been abusing people for years!

http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/lordswood-southampton-the-forestry-commissions-response

(noteeths post half way down)

anyways this wasnt supposed to open some great debate on whether cycling on forest footpaths should be allowed or not....just next time someone decides to ruin my evening how I can disarm them in an amusing way.

I'm still working on the rap 🙂

i haven't read the whole thread,but my view is that as long as you respect the countryside/wildlife and people i don't see what the problem is.i was discussing this with some (setting a scene) guys as we were doing a ride.we thought that a mountain bike ridden sensibly actually causes no more erosion (maybe even less) than a hiking booted foot.also how many of the walkers have driven to where they are walking (not having a go at cars e.t.c) but everywhere i ride,i ride to get there (as have no car) (am going to now get flamed by people no doubt 😉

problem was I was actually fuming for the next 30 mins of the ride, so much so that I was thinking about whitty retorts

just next time someone decides to ruin my evening how I can disarm them in an amusing way.

So, basically she points out the truth - that you are breaking the law - and this sets you fuming and ruins your evening and you are now looking for retorts so that you can win the encounter?

Your best bet is to MTFU and get over it. You are breaking the law, you're not prepared to stop breaking the law, so just tell her the truth right back - that yes you are breaking the law, no you don't care, in any regard it's a civil law which means she has no means of redress, FO.

Job done and you can carry on riding knowing that you let her know what you really think.

We should all obey the law at all times.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to grab my bow and go shoot a Welshman.

Cougar, as i own a medieval warbow (repro) i've often wondered what would happen if i turned up at the Buttd after Mass on Sunday to practice my archery 😆

If you are going to shoot Welshmen don't forget to be standing on the walls of Chester!

Wunundred!

That's what I wooduv shouted at them.

In fact, that is exactly what I'm going to do, the very next time someone gets arsey with me for riding somewhere. 🙂

So as i was 99 do i get an ice cream?

When presented with "this is a footpath, bikes aren't allowed here", my usual response is along the lines of...

"yes, I know - isn't it ridiculous?"

MuddyDwarf > That's for Scotsmen, not Welshman. (Is there a law pertaining to Welshman? I may have made that up for comedy effect).

The law states something like every Englishman past puberty must put in two hours longbow practice every weekend and bank holiday, or something similar. Dunno what you'd do without the legally required butts though.

I own a recurve, used to shoot field archery under NFAS.

Yes ok then. Which one? You can't have any hundreds and thousands though, as they might make you hyperactive.

There is a law pertaining to the males of the Welsh variety, apparently you can shoot them if inside the Walls of the City of Chester after curfew!

I am/was a medieval re-enactor so the warbow was a staple of the event. Quite amusing to see people used to modern pulley-equipped bows trying to pull a full-strength warbow of over 120lb draw-weight. I can't, i believe there are only a handful of people in the UK who can both draw and shoot such a weapon.

Makes you realise why it took so long to learn the art of the bow.

Ice cream, how about something from ben and gerrys?

No. It's off the vayn or nowt.

A screwball then, one of those that turn yer gob blue when you get to the bottom! Haven't had one of those for over 30yrs, do they still sell 'em?

Ooh, good question that...

You've got me right craving a lemon ice now. And the vayn don't come round here after dark. 🙁

If you are going to shoot Welshmen don't forget to be standing on the walls of Chester!

I think that old law might 'just' have been superceded by the laws against murder though! 😆 Shows how twitchy the old Chester folk were about the Welsh raiders!

<wonders if CSI can do a ballistics check on my arrows....>

Old lady, you say.

Her:'You do know this is a footpath'
You: 'Then why are you dragging your tits along it?'

Job done.

"all manner of Welsh persons or Welsh sympathies should be expelled from the city; that no Welshman should enter the city before sunrise or tarry in it after sunset, under pain of decapitation."

It seems you're not allowed to shoot them, you must remove their heads. Good job i own a poll-axe and a war-axe then eh? 😛

There is a law pertaining to the males of the Welsh variety, apparently you can shoot them if inside the Walls of the City of Chester after curfew!

I could've sworn that was the Scottish. Ho hum.

Quite amusing to see people used to modern pulley-equipped bows trying to pull a full-strength warbow of over 120lb draw-weight.

Yeah, they used 'em for range IIRC, there was no finesse or aiming, just a hailstorm of arrows.

Mine's 38@28", and that's heavy enough when you're shooting it all day. Heaviest bow I ever drew was a compound, swine of a thing to get over the cams but once you're at full draw it's a damn sight easier to keep hold of than a longbow...!

muddydwarf I want you on my side

Mythically TJ is fair game, Cougar and md, if spotted on a Manx beach or even York on a weekday! 🙂

oh shut Uuuuup. how do you describe "a male of the welsh variety?" cos I live in wales, and I speak welsh, lived elsewhere for ages, but most've 'em round here sound like scousers or mancs.

We can legally shoot the Welsh, and you're arguing that some might be Scousers?

No offence, but you're not helping your cause any.

(-:

I want to know why I am fair game?

(If you're in Wales and everyone is Scouse, You live in Rhyl And I Claim My Five Pounds.)

I can vouch that Kevevs is proper Welsh and that.

Can I shoot him with an airgun in Rhyl?

I want to know why I am fair game?

Had to happen eventually, TJ.

(-:

He doesn't live in Rhyl, he lives in Llandudno. I know, cos I've seen it.

The train stopped at Rhyl. Nobody wanted to get off. 😐

I don't just sound like a Scouser, areithia Cymraeg! 🙂

thanks for your approval elf, I'll sleep sound now! good night!

😀

Nothing personal, TJ. Just a jokey poke at your adopted countrymen! 🙂

Tell her at least you aren't spreading toxic dog urine everywhere.

- look down at her feet, pull a face, point at the ground just behind her and say "What is that? Oh My God, that's DISGUSTING". Cycle off, she won't see you go.
- do the same, but stare at her nose
- "Sorry, I don't undestand you, no, sorry, I don't understa- look, can you speak English" <mutter as if to yourself> "Bl00dy immigrants, coming over here, can't even speak the bl00dy language"
- "Sorry, I can't hear you, no, you'll have to speak up, sorry do you have a speech impediment or something, OK, THERE@S NO NEED TO FKN SHOUT"
- tell her you're Dale Winton and the rules don't apply to you
-"yes madam I realise that but I am an undercover surveillance officer investigaing reports of Islamist fundamentalist terrorists kidnapping small dogs, inserting explosives into them and training them to act as suicide dogs. is that a small dog you have? does it always walk like that? "

if you meet a disgruntled walker just ask them their opinion on the Kinder Mass trespasses of 1932, this started the whole movement of national parks, right to roam, etc off and is allowing her to walk on the footpath she is on today.

So in effect you are just participating in the same movement as they had back then, just in your own small way.

Do it nicely and you may start off a conversation, although when you show you know more than her she will get more and more uptight in a daily mail kind of way .....I guess you cant win

How about you start off by apologising with something along the lines of " yeah I'm sorry about this - but it's the fastest route to avoid the police who were closing in on me, could you deny seeing me if they ask please"?? And then add " you haven't come across an axe on your travels have you" ??

For best effect might I suggest you say the above whilst nervously looking over your shoulder ??

I rode some FP's today in the Lake District and I have to say, the very few walkers who were around were unfailingly polite. To be fair I'd deliberately picked a remote path which required a fair bit of effort to get to and it was very early. I'm not daft enough to try it on a FP in the middle of a honey pot area in the middle of the day.

Lovely ride, saw about 12 people all day!

I'm near Glasgow and I have to say the majority of Dog Walkers I encounter are miserable buggers who never pick up after their hounds and even if they do, they chuck the bag into a tree.

I remain resolutely chipper and polite, possibly more so to the animals because I like dogs.

If the owners are confrontational and the dogs are not in control I'll point out that the dogs should be in "close control" and mention their obligation to pick up the crap. They will usually tell me to "go away".

Worst offenders out this way are the professional walkers who have upward of six dogs and don't pick any of the crap up. I may start filming because it's not just cyclists, what about families and kids walking in the area? who wants to come back with shoes covered in poo?

who wants to come back with toxoplasmosis?

Shut it fatty.

We had a run in with a grumpy old sod (looks & sounds like Colonel K from Dangermouse) who thinks he owns the local woods t'other week. He waved his walking stick at us and bellowed "STOP!" All I managed was to shout HAMMERTIME! over my shoulder as we passed by.

Never been able to think of a suitable response before but was quite pleased with that one. 🙂

Why don't you throw one of the logs through her window with the message "love from friends of the earth" 😀

I'm near Glasgow

I mostly only ever get crap off dog walkers while in Mugdock park, usually when using one of the main paths to connect trails together. This is despite being unfailingly considerate of them.

Tell her that you bought the land and she is trespassing.

Never had any issue with walkers.... or dog walkers, or in fact doggers.... (Mugdock East Car Park, sunset most days - so they say!)

Worst thread revival ever!
Did it take a month to come up with this one?

Shut it fatty.

Sara got stopped by a old bloke last year along a stretch of path by a river (it was a footpath). In the end she asked him whether or not he'd ever been fisted.

That could have ended very badly...

"I see you have small hands! Well I'm game if you are..."