After 5 years the other half has decided she now wants to travel the world and explore but without me.
Only a month ago she was the happiest she's ever been, with me and the dog, and we were thinking of relocating to Spain or France if i could get a job.
Now it's "i don't know what want" and "i need to be true to myself"
So brilliant, 41 with dog, 2 failed marriages and another failed long term relationship and i'm meant to be racing on Saturday.
Feeling a bit mopey. Anyone fancy buying me a pint?
Crap news, but clearly she's a numpty for saying 'being true to myself'. I meant wtf is that meant to mean, crap saying. Get drunk and go to a strip club
sorry to hear that 🙁
What do you want? Are you being true to yourself?
better now than after you relocated.
Don't be nasty tempting tho it is. Leave her a way back - and go and get drunk.
There's a pint behind the bar at my local for you.
It WILL get better, but sorry to hear it - you sound disappointed.
Bummer.
but clearly she's a numpty for saying 'being true to myself'.
does slagging off the woman he loves really help ?
and go and get drunk.
probably the most stupid advice ever 🙁
probably the most stupid advice ever
Probably not.
and go and get drunk.probably the most stupid advice ever
Go get drunk is not the same as become an alcoholic!
"go get drunk" helps some people in a situation like this, but it doesn't help others.
better advice would be "do what you want to do". unless, of course, that would land you in prison. or dead.
To be fair, the first 2 bits of TJ's advice are absolutely spot on. About the most sensible I've seen him in a couple of weeks 😆
getting drunk is ace advice..
simon is just a fanatical puritan..
Now it's "i don't know what want" and "i need to be true to myself"
I heard all that in Feb/March/April, she moved out last weekend after 7 years together, and six months after buying a house. Since I now have loads more time on my hands, where are you based, fancy going fo a ride?
Edinburgh.
Going for a pint or two and a blether with a mate hope the rain stays off so the dog can sit outside.
Still means the mutt'll see the tops of more munros and a lot more of the mtb. Not that that's any concilation.
Bollox, Bollox and Bollox i agree with TJ,
Pint waiting for you mate.
Turn the tables, tell her you were kind of thinking it's time for a break and actually glad she brought it up. Offer to help her pack and see what happens. 😀
Edinburgh? Go for a beer with TJ and Al. Things won't seem so bad then.
at times such as this i like to get drunk while riding my bike.
Why not go ahead & relocate anyway, or at least for a year or so.
Hey, think yourself lucky, my 30 yr old ex was carrying on with a 16yr old in my bed while I was at work.
What hurt most was finding out she had let him ride my bike on one of their romantic get togethers.
So smitten was she that she walked away with just the clothes on her back, I got the house with £45k of equity in it.
🙂
She eventually dumped him, minus about £3k in savings.
Stay happy mate.
Best wishes onehundredthidiot. A long way away but will have a beer for you.
It will get better. Been in almost exactly the same spot.
I'm in Nottingham, ah well. At least you have hills, all i've got is sink estates and disused coal mines!
Know the feeling, i was engaged and had effectively the same conversation.
It's not good and having been through it before you know it'll hurt for a while, but, you also know it's not the end of your life.
Keep your mates close and keep yourself busy.
This too will pass mate.
Women? I have never understood them.
I got dumped in 1995 and had no SO since.
You've got a bike and trails, what's the problem?
Funnily enough my favourite sayings include:
This too will pass
and
nunc est bidendum
Still proper down in the mouth.
Irony is i was about to ask her to marry me.
Hmm just be thankful there are no kids. I couldnt leave now even if I really wanted too. Would die rather than leave my babies.
Get yer Arse to the Quantocks for a stw weekend
no excuse not to eh
get riding believe me it helps
Actually that is quite a good STW slogan cum Charlie-the-bike-minger sticker: [b]B0ll0x, I agree with TJ![/b]
"Irony is i was about to ask her to marry me"
Is it possible she knows this, and it's why she's gone "funny"?
As this point, what is there to lose from talking about it? [Apart from all your dignity]. Will you regret it if you don't ask and never know if she would have accepted?
Buzz, nah she didn't know in fact she was pressing for it for a long time.
Already talked about it but she doesn't know herself.
simon is just a fanatical puritan..
no, I just don't see the point of drugging oneself insensible 🙂 That isn't puritanism...
My girlfriend of 6yrs broke up with me a few months back, saying much the same things. A couple of months before that we were happy and talking of moving somewhere new and out of our city, into the hills. I still think of her every day, but it's getting easier. I don't spontaneously burst into tears anymore. Take care of your self.
probably the most stupid advice ever
I've never agreed with SFB more. If you're going to get drunk, then do it when you're happy.
Now it's "i don't know what want"
I had that after a long-term relationship (10 years) and was pretty gutted. She went off to the Middle East nursing in an American hospital, earned loads of money and had a really good time. She came back a few times to see me and everything was fine, only by the time she came back permanently and informed me that she wanted to settle down, I had moved on (with a Polish girl who was right little darling actually 8) ) The reason I'm telling this story is don't be surprised if she comes back to tell you that she's decided that you're the one. Of course she might not, so it's up to you if you want to put your life on hold and wait .... I wouldn't.
If you're going to get drunk, then do it when you're happy.
Quoted for truth.
in moderation, these should help pass the time
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onehundredthidiot -
You based in Edinburgh?
#
there is a whole bunch of us ride bikes and drink beer get involved. My email is in my profile
do it
Seriously we are all lees stroppy than we appear on forum and more folk are always welcome.
Lose a woman gain a teej.
Hey, think yourself lucky, my 30 yr old ex was carrying on with a 16yr old in my bed while I was at work.
****in' teachers! 😉
Still proper down in the mouth.
Irony is i was about to ask her to marry me.
Bummer, not good is it. Similar happened to me recently (though only been with her a year, still knew she was the one etc.), and had been thinking about how/when to propose etc... Was mainly trying to build my self esteem back up first (more job losses and lack of work), get a few quid in the bank, and take her somewhere nice to do it. She's really got into Mountain Biking too, and all my mates love her! Proper gutted...
But, when a woman doesn't know what she wants, there's no reasoning with her! You've got to accept it, let her find what she wants, and hope that it was you all along I'm afraid. Much as I don't want to hear this myself, I know it to be true. Strange breed them women folk, but there's no reasoning with em! Tis why every girl I've ever even so much as been on a proper date with I've always tried to establish what they're after in life, cos the ones that don't know will only end up in tears sooner than later! Though my now ex really knew what she wanted though, now she says she doesn't have a clue and it's not me, she just doesn't ever want to be in a relationship again she thinks!
TJ, my god what's happening man, I've read numerous posts by you the last few days, you've become the very epitomy of reason and well structured argument... WTF has happened?!?! I insist you change back to your old self at once...
Edinburgh? Go for a beer with TJ and Al. Things won't seem so bad
🙂
Go and try to shag your best mates wife.
If you do, everyone will feel better that it's all out in the open and you'll know how good a friend your best mate is.
If you don't, you'll know how good a friend your best mate is and you still be footloose and fancy free 😉
Win/win.
TJ i've been on a couple of TBC rides. Would come on more but the dog can't run free in the Pentlands. Didn't have the dog the last time i rode with ya.
Oh so sorry 🙁 Would go for a pint you know that but away this weekend. Give me a shout if you want to do some pootly dog friendly stuff on the bike anytime.
Do the 'race' if it's not pishin doon your buddies will be pleased to see you xx
Still working on mastering Indirect Communication "don't know what I want", but does that not mean "I have met somebody else but am trying to finish with you and not come off like a bitch" ? (sorry)
[i]Bummer. [/i]
He could try this, yes. After all, his luck with the ladies doesn't seem to be great at the moment.
Bad news. A week in tha Alps would be my first priority!
First up - thoughts are with you - similar situation for me with MrsMM #1 - ended all friendly TBH but that still did not stop me losing me head up my arse for about 12 months...
Try and make time to figure out what you want - as said above, still no reason why you cannot relocate, arguably less to stop you now as it's not a committee decision.. 🙂
re:
- ok, i' don't know how far you are from the Pentlands, or how long the rides are but, our Ted (border terrier) is happy at home for up to 4 hrs - surely you can fix something to fit that sort of time slot?TJ i've been on a couple of TBC rides. Would come on more but the dog can't run free in the Pentlands. Didn't have the dog the last time i rode with ya.
Oh - get out and race on Sunday - you're full of nervous energy - you'll either win or bomb out 'cos you took TJ's advice and had a skinful the night before 🙂
Chris
Dianes offer of doing some 'doggy stuff' with you sounds interesting, take her up on her offer!!
After two marriages and a long term relationship it sounds like you're in need of some 'you time'. My SO left me november last year under the same circumstances as yours and I'm enjoying being sinle as its my first time in this position since I was about 17years old, I'm 40 now and loving the simplicity of life, the freedom (although was never under the thumb)and the peace and quite! I had a good marriage btw, never wanted this 'quiet' life but my bike now takes alot of pounding and I love having the whole bed to myself
It'll get better than you wont want her back, dont put your life on hold hoping she'll change her mind.
Have fun and relax
Get drunk if you want to
and I love having the whole bed to myself
blow that I always want to snuggle 🙂